"hyung- i want to see you, hyung."

his phone dropped with a clang as he tried to stand up on shaky legs. the blood in his hands making him recoil in disgust (because of the blood or himself, he wasn't so sure). 

he tried to clean his hands, rubbing them on his shirt until they no longer felt wet but the red color didn't go away.

(it never really went away)

he walked outside, and laid down on the mattress, feeling the sun embedding itself on his skin. with his eyes closed, he could see a kaleidoscope of stars and strange figures in the back of his eyelids, making him imagine countless of stories that will never come true. he raised his hand to cover his face from the blaring sun, letting out a deep sigh when the wind covered him on a chilly blanket, but he just laid there, numb.

the polaroid in his other hand felt slightly sharp as he held it with a strong grip. rolling to his side, he finally opened his eyes to gaze upon that picture. to anyone else, the photographs was simply that of a woman and her son. but to him, that photograph meant everything he could never say.

he crumbled it in his fist, letting it fall from his grip, watching as it was carried away by the wind.

he did nothing to stop it.

he closed his eyes once again, feeling completely and utterly desolate. 

that is, until his brothers came and made him forget.

 

.

 

"you okay?" namjoon had asked, giving his hand for taehyung to stand up. he had taken it, getting up with shaky legs, looking at the ground.

taehyung didn't respond, but he didn't fail to notice how namjoon noticed the stains on his hands, the small droplets coloring his clothes. but he didn't ask anything, and only offered him a smile. taehyung wished he could have returned it, but he couldn't even muster enough energy to pull his lips upward.

they walked towards the rest of the group, where hoseok and jimin were talking animatedly, hands waving in the air, and with yoongi and jungkook standing to the side, seemingly quiet.

time seemed to pass by slowly, with the sun rising more and more on the sky, reaching its peak, before dropping once again with the beginnings of a beautiful sunset.

it was jungkook that pointed off to the distance, eyes wide with surprise, "oh! jin hyung!"

and there he was, the eldest with a small smile on his lips as he held a camera in his hands, recording every moment.

they all shared hugs with the elder, and with one another, relishing on the fact that they were united once again, almost as if time had never passed.

and jin, he just kept recording with a smile on his face.

 

.

 

"you can smile as long as we're together."

 

.

 

jin kept filming when jungkook began to push yoongi on a rolling cart, their laughs loud and clear to everyone around. he filmed when began roaming the forest around them, everyone following their own path but never once straying away from the others. he recorded hoseok and jimin's dances, and how they tried to teach the others the same silly choreography. he laid the camera on the ground, and recorded when he played around with the others, arm wrestling, jumping on their backs, jumping in the air. he recorded when taehyung graffiti-ed the walls with namjoons outline, and how namjoon began to hit bottles with a golf stick.

he took pictures of a sleep hoseok with an energetic jungkook and a smiling yoongi. he recorded when taehyung stood atop of a stone wall, looking off into the distance. he took a picture of a butterfly that laid calm on a plank of wood, not flying away, even when he got closer.

 

.

 

살아 남아야 한다

(you need to survive)

 

.

 

the bonfire has a special place in their minds, all of them can admit that.

it was there where they all drank bottles of soju, where they all shared small, secret stories. it was there where they all began to relax after a long day. it was there where jin took out a single polaroid from his jacket, smiling at it.

"shall we go here?" he asked, still smiling at the photograph that held so many memories.

he turned the photograph towards the others, showing them the sea. they all had smiles on their faces. the bonfire burned bright that night.

 

.

 

the sea was beautiful, just like how jin remembered it to be.

he kept his camera trained on the others, relishing on the looks of excitement and freedom that graced their faces. he turned the camera towards all of them, recording how they hugged him and ran circles around the camera. he smiled when the younger ones began to run in the sand, and laughed slightly when they challenged him to run, and he beat them all.

he only stopped recording when everything had calmed down. the sea waves were soft against the shore, with the sun creating a beautiful reflection as it began its daily descent.

he didn't record when he leaned against the truck, surrounded by his brothers, all watching the sea.

 

.

 

they all had their arms around each other when they began to notice.

taehyung had walked away again, going towards a platform that laid facing the waves. he climbed up to the top, never hesitating when his hands grasped the cold metal.

jin was the first to notice him. his eyes widen slightly, and he turned the camera from facing the sea, to facing the man standing so close to the sky. 

the others eventually turned too, all waving, grinning, as they pointed towards the sea. jump.

taehyung gave them a small smile, watching them for a second, before turning back towards the front. he could only see the sky from here, the horizon looking at him from far beyond.

he got slightly closer. then, he ran.

  

.

 

will you stop time, if this moment passes?

 

.

 

(he imagined this was how butterflies must feel, when they fly away)