To say Kris was reluctant to return to work the next day would be an understatement. He, infact, wished he never had to face Kyungsoo again. He almost slipped with the stress of the whole predicament just before getting ready for the day but he didin't though. 

Junmyeon did talk to him yesterday night about it. Assuring him not to fret over the matter anymore than he had and that there was nothing he could do now than to just face this situation. That things will turn out okay. 

But no amount of reassurance or prep talk was able to get him ready for this. Not even the reassuring words Junmyeon said today morning and preventing him from slipping. He was thankful for Junmyeon for driving him here or else he would've definitely skipped work and hid in a hole for who knows how long. 

For the past fifteen minutes or so he has been standing in lobby, not entering the work area. Thank God only him, the receptioninst (whose main job was to sort out calls for him and Kyungsoo), and Kyungsoo frequented this floor. A very few number of people were allowed up here anyways. So he was safe from curious questions about what he was doing there? He could take his time gathering himself.

However, no matter how much freedom he has he was still answerable. And he was already getting late. There was so much to do already. Therefore he pushed the door open with all his will and faced the receptionist.

She nodded with a 'good morning' in his direction and went back to her business. That means there was no phone calls for him. She was not the thing Kris was dreading. His courage and will are going to be tested in a few moments when he will be facing Kyungsoo instead. He silently groaned at the reminder of them being locked in the same space all day.  

Kris shook his head to get rid of the thoughts when he reached his personal office's door. He needs to stop overthinking or else he will be standing outside all day or maybe head back home. 

Taking a deep breath, mustering courage he just opened the door and stilled at the sight of Kyungsoo on the sofa in his office. His grip tightened on the doorknob, breath knocked out of his lungs momentarily and legs were heavy, stuck to the ground.

 

 

 

 

Kyungsoo had been waiting anxiously since the past minutes for Kris to turn up. Ever since the discussion with Junmyeon he had been nervous and impatient to clear things out with Kris. However, he was a little bit confused on his unusual behavior but ignored thinking on it.

He arrived a bit earlier than his usual time just for that. Thinking it best to wait in Kris's office as no one will enter without prior permission, he headed straight there. But waiting this last hour was proving to be harder for him than waiting for a whole night. It was difficult for him to be able to stop himself from shaking his legs or fidgeting with things in his hands.

"God why was Kris taking so long to show up? Was he not going to come at all?"  He thought checking the time on his phone. Kris was a little late then the usual office hours. That's a first and it was making Kyungsoo worry. 

Junmyeon did warned him of Kris's still emotional state. He was glad that they had exchanged their contacts so that he can call the other when needed or for emergencies. 

After finally what felt like eternity the door opened, revealing Kris. Both were stilled at their respective spots, not knowing what to do now. How to start the coversation?

"Oh God! Kyungsoo is here! What do I do now? Shou- should I start talking, explain things? But I don't know how to? Should I just ignore him? That's also not possible!" Kris almost let out a whine thinking that. It was clear his brain was filled with panic. 

Kyungsoo was in similar dilemma as well but not as nervous as Kris. He noted the fear filled eyes and panic surging through his body. Kris's knuckles was also turning white because of the death grip he still had on the doorknob. Knowing Kris won't be the one to start speaking he opened his mouth but didn't get the chance to say anything because Kris's body started swaying, descending towards the ground. 

"Kris!" All thoughts of discussion left Kyungsoo and he immediately rushed to steady Kris, to prevent him from falling to the ground. 

Kris was not just filled with panic. His breath also came out in gasps, hurting his lungs. His vision blurred by a bit and he felt as if the room was closing off on him.

"No! No! No! Not now."

His grip unconsciously loosened from the doorknob and at the back of his mind he prepared for a fall. He didn't feel anything though. Did he not fall on the floor or was his mind just unable to comprehend the pain at this moment? Either ways, he found himself incapable to care.

For few moments he felt nothing but the tight grip of the panic over his heart and mind. The panic deprived him of his senses and making him unable to do anything but struggle to breath. It was not working too much though. He felt like drowning. 

After a long while fighting, the hold on his brain and heart slighty lossened. He felt a really light weight on his arm. It was enough for his senses to start working again. The more the fog cleared from his brain, the more he was able to sense things. 

The first thing he noticed, apart from the touch, was that he was sitting on the ground. There was no pain either. The touch on his arm grew stronger and he belatedly felt the fingers running through his hair so delicately, also moving to his back and sides occasionally. This was more grounding to him. 

He started focusing on all that he can. That way he can get out of this quicker, like he got to learn before. Doing so helped clear his vision little by little. The darkness was clearing away and he was now able to see one of the most beautiful face so close to his own. And those beautiful eyes were soft with worries for him. He was also able to sense one of the hand was no longer on his arm but holding and caressing his face. Their thumb wiping the tears. When did he start crying?

Yet, to his confusion, he was not flinching away from all these like he knew he would. Instead, he did nothing but was just unresponsive.

He then saw the plush lips moving, asking him something. At first he couldn't make out what they were saying but a few moments later he only managed to hear that those lips were asking him if he was okay or can he hear them? However, he was unresponsive again even when he wanted to answer.

 

 

Kyungsoo was glad he caught Kris from falling face first. Not because he would have hit himself seriously but because Kyungsoo was able to identify the signs for panic attack quicker this close to the man. Kris's unfocused vision, short breathes and trembling hands were enough to get him to work. Kyungsoo will praise himself later for his strength he gained from forced workout sessions and holding Kris's weight effortlessly.

He tried all the tips and tricks he had known to do in this moment. He resorted to touch the other for the purpose of grounding him. Whatever he was trying was working but not as much as he wanted to. He saw Kris's pupils return to normal and he seemed more focused on his touch. But his breath was still laboured and was not responding to his cooing instructions to breath. Kris still seemed to be shut off or in a similar state.

Kyungsoo got worried and asked him if he was okay but got no response. It was his turn to panic slightly now. 

"Why is he not responding? Did he hurt himself? Should I take him to hospital? But what will I tell the reason for his panic?"  Kyungsoo thought "Junmyeon. Yes, I should call Junmyeon."

Kyungsoo hurriedly fished his pocket for his phone only to almost scream in frustration. He had thrown his phone on the sofa to hurry over to Kris. 

"Kris. Kris. Can you hear me? Please say something. Or move, anything. Please repond to me Kris." Kyungsoo tried but in vain. He tried to take a step away and towards his phone removing his hands from Kris. But this just made the other let out an involuntary whimper and his body to start swaying. Kris was not even able to hold himself up adding to his still irregular breaths.

"What do I do now?"

Kyungsoo racked his brain for an answer. And he got one. But it was not the solution he wanted to try. That can seriously go wrong. It was not the time to debate though. He had no other choice but to take the shots.

Kyungsoo braced himself for what was he going to do. 

"Little one." Kyungsoo cooed ever so softly.

Something in Kris's mind clicked and his eyes widened a little. That was as good a response Kyungsoo can get. Taking it as a good sign he continued.

"Can you hear me little one? Are you okay?" A little confused voice along with Kris's slight furrowed brows was his answer.

"I know you are scared and confused. But I need you to focus and match my breathing baby boy. Can you do that?" Kyungsoo gently said. He was trying to get the other to normal breathing without Kris getting scared of him. Or go into an overdrive of emotions again.

Kyungsoo started guiding him to match his breathing. Instructing Kris when to take, hold and let the breath out using his mouth and nose. This time he got more success. Kris was coming out of the panic attack.

"Yes. Exactly like that precious. You are doing so good for me. You are so good for hyung." Kyungsoo caressed his hair as a means of more grounding.

After doing what Kyungsoo asked him for quite long, Kris let out a very soft almost inaudible, "Hyung."

A huge, relieved smile crossed Kyungsoo's face. "Yes baby. Hyungs here for you. He's got you. You are okay now."

Kris was more focused now but also felt himself drained of any energy. He was too tired to sit up and Kyungsoo's soft yet deep voice was not helping his case.

Little Krissy wants to lay down and snuggle. And snuggle he will not caring with whom. That was why he crawled forward and made himself comfortable in Kyungsoo's arms, not caring about the height difference, not bothered by how his legs were too long to fit in the hold.

He just buried his face in the strong and sturdy chest, curling himself up in as small a ball as possible. A contended sigh left his lips. The feelings of warmth, safety, security, and dare he admit- love enveloped him.

Kyungsoo was caught off gaurd by Kris's move. But he understood Kris needed this after what conspired. And he felt that he too needed this sort of assurity. So he didn't dwell in any thoughts and embraced Kris as tightly as possible. Yet also continuing with his caresses and soft nothings. 

His mind replayed the event and he started thinking, trying to make sense of it all. From his rational thinking and his little knowledge of the other's mindset, he came to few conclusion.

He gathered that Kris might have slipped in his headspace through the panic and also because of the panic. His brain had to work both for adjusting with the slip and panic at the same time. Little Kris did not know how to respond in such a situation and what to do. That was why it took him more time to get out of the panic. It was too much for his little brain and it somewhat stopped functioning properly.

Kyungsoo was trying to talk to Kris and bring him to focus back. But it was not him infront of Kyungsoo, it was his little self. His little side may not be accustomed to handle such situation like his big self might be. That was why he only responded to Kyungsoo when he called him 'little one'. Kyungsoo was not his caregiver and also was not used to his little side; therefore he was unable to detect these changes.

Thinking about this broke Kyungsoo's heart. From how much he had come to know about Kris, he knew the man was not good with stressful situations. Kyungsoo knew this was not the first time it happened but it was possibly the worst of all. And their situation right now had more negative impact on him than Kyungsoo initially suspected. It terrified him to even think what kind of trauma Kris and his little side would've gone through if he was not here. Then again, he was the sole reason why Kris had a panic attack. 

Clearing his mind from the weighing thoughts he just focused on the task in his hand right now.

Nobody knew for how long they sat like that but both were extremely contended. After a long while Kyungsoo felt Kris stiffen and then started to shift in his hold. He gathered Kris was now uncomfortable like this. 

Kris, infact, was back to his adult headspace. It didn't take him long to realise the position he was in and therefore he stiffened. this was so awkward!

Kris was now hesitant to get out of the embrace. He felt really good like this but the more time he'll remain like this the more things will be awkward later for him. Therefore, he started to shift as a signal to be let out of the hold. 

Which Kyungsoo granted. 

Both of them were silent, composing themsleves. Kris still didn't look ready for the conversation but it was more than right time for that. And Kyungsoo was even more adamant to get it out of the way after what he had experienced. 

"Are you back? Or are you still feeling panicked?" Kyungsoo broke the silence, successfully gaining the man's attention. 

Kris looked at him with wide eyes, not knowing what to say. He just nodded in response. 

Kyungsoo sighed, "We need to have a long and proper talk, Kris."

Kris started sputtering, "Kyungsoo, I- I ...am sorry. I ca-can ex-pla..in." 

"Kris." Kyungsoo interrupted "Don't start panicking again. And we will talk once we settle down on the sofa."  

Kris still looked somewhat hesitant "Or you love the floor too much to get up and sit on the sofa." Kyungsoo attempted to cheer him a bit.

He was successful as Kris gave a little laugh at the remark. The tension dissipating along with it.

Kris nodded and got up to head to the sofa, followed by Kyungsoo. It was not like he minded sitting on the floor but he get what Kyungsoo was trying to do. Besides, the sofa was a better option for a discussion.

"Kyungsoo I want to apologise first."  Kris started as soon as they settled. "Things were not meant to happen like this. I never wanted for you to get involved in this. I am so sorry for that day and for what happened right now. These things shouldn't have been flung on you so abruptly. I am sure you are baffled and unsure now...."

"Kris, Kris..." Kyungsoo cut off Kris's rambling, taking one of his hand in his own. "Before you continue I want to get few things clear out."

He gave a reassuring squeeze to Kris's hand, "Witnessing your panic attack and what happened that day in the lift was definitely a shock to me but you must know that I am not disgusted or weirded out by that. I am more concerned and worried for you on the contrary." 

"What?" Kris breathed.

"You shouldn't be looking so disbelieving Kris. I know you being into such activity is the last thing anyone expect of you and that it is not a thing that many people will be okay with. But Kris, I also know that if you are doing this then you sure have your reasons. And I have come to know you enough to conclude what those reasons are. I actually looked up about it yesterday and what little I understood it did not looked problematic to me."

Kris kept looking at him with wide eyes. Was he dreaming right now? Because only in his dreams can Kyungsoo behave like this after everything. How can a person be so okay with all these so easily?

"Kyungsoo do you know what you are saying? Are you really not disgusted with me?"

Kyungsoo sighed, "Come on Kris. Did you really think I will be disgusted with you? Have I not build even a little trust?" 

Kris shook his head. "I didn't mean it like that."

"I know Kris. I can understand why you are being so skeptical about me knowing. But I promise you that things are not going to be any different between us. We are okay. I am still your friend and care about you. And as for explaining, you don't have to do it all at once. I can learn about that side of you with time more. Sure it could be weird but only in the initial stages. It is nothing that I can't get used to, alright. I just need to know few things so that I can be more prepared next time if something like today or that day happens in my presence again. I firmly think you will need another person to rely on with these secrets beside your cousin. And I will be honoured to be that person." Kyungsoo completed with a sweet smile.

Tears of joy and relief gathered in Kris's eyes. He was not able to believe that this was not just a beautiful dream. That this was actually happening. His secret was safe and he didn't lose Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo won't just stay but help him and look after him. Things might finally be getting better for him. This was more than he ever wished for.

Kris flung himself to Kyungsoo again embracing him tightly, showing his gratitude. He was way past the point of caring about physicality anyways. "Thank you, thank you, thank you so much Kyungsoo. I can even express how much that means to me. I still don't believe this." He sniffled.

Kyungsoo chucked a bit, ruffling Kris's hair. "You should believe this Kris. And don't worry about it anymore okay." he tightened his embrace. It was surprising how they were getting so comfortable with giving physical affection already. But it seems both of them didn't mind it. 

"Kris I promise I'll try my hardest to keep up to my words. I hope you trust me." 

Kris removed himself from the embrace. "Ofcourse I trust you Kyungsoo. Apart from Junmyeon, you are the only person I trusted to this level. I know you have good intentions and you care." Kris confessed looking straight into his eyes.

Kyungsoo just smiled but secretly he felt guilt crawl over his heart. He felt undeserving of Kris's trust. He was hiding things from him. Both him and Junmyeon were. Kyungsoo was hiding more things even with Junmyeon too so he was the guiltier one. Kris was just too pure and Kyungsoo felt so pathetic for doing this to him. But it was for the best right now and he was being genuine with his offer to help Kris.

"Although Kyungsoo," Kris started again, looking serious. "I don't want to force this on you just because you are accidently involved. You always can back out. You shouldn't feel obliged just because you care about me, you know."

Kyungsoo smiled again "It's fine Kris, really. I am saying that I got your back whenever you need me to. We are going to continue behaving as before but you can relax when its just us, if you want to. And I don't know how involved I will be in this, maybe I'll be on the sidelines, or if I will be good like Junmyeon but I am willing to try."

Kris laughed "It's okay. You can choose how you want to do this. And don't worry. Junmyeon was just as clueless as you are right now. It takes practice but your offer to help is more than I can ask for." Kris was a little surprised for accepting this offer so easily. He guesses that he was in desprate need for this help. He needed one more person to rely on other than Junmyeon. And it was just a bonus that he can get that reliance from Kyungsoo.

"I can imagine that. However, I can say he did a great job from what little interactions I had with you in your headspace. You are one well-behaved and cute little one." Kyungsoo teased with a mischivious smile.

The smile left Kris's face at that and he groaned "You are going to subject me to a lot of teasing about it, aren't you?"

Kyungsoo chortled, "I think I have earned myself that right. Didn't I little one." 

Kris just huffed at that, shoving Kyungsoo then crossing his arms and making the other laugh. But Kris preferred things be like this. He didn't feel weird or awkward by Kyungsoo's teasings. As a matter of fact, he welcomed the light and playful atmosphere. He noticed them being even more comfortable with each other than they were before. Kris was more relieved and assured now that things are going to look great for him. And he hoped it to last as long as it can.