Kris often wonders why people disregards mental illness or ailness. Why it is not being attented as seriously as a physical injury would? The most he saw people considering any such thing was only when a person is considered mad or mentally ill. You know, the kind of people one generally finds in mental asylums. The ones who are in a poor mental, and most of the times physical state. The ones who are tortured by electric shock and are sometimes treated even worse than stray animals. Only they are sometimes sympathized. But Kris seems to have different thoughts on that matter.

Being mad is easier, he guessed. Because then there will be only one reality which you live in. Which your mind creates for you. Nothing else matters. You will be happy in that illusion.

But having other mental illness.... which will sow a seed within the roots of your heart and mind, of all the negativity you begin to harvest for yourself. And still keeping you aware with the reality your life contains of. Making you loath yourself to death and Also, leaving no choice but to keep breathing. That, is way more challenging. When you need to keep going, carrying an extra baggage called 'yourself', along with these negativity.  That is close to hell!

This is not surprising if one would consider the  way he was forced to live his life- deprived of any form of love and affection. Even treated as just an asset rather than a son by his own father kills it. He had been living this hellish reality since long enough to not remember how it would feel otherwise. He was also made aware of the reasons of this state of his mind. 

Sadness had always been a part of his life. A prominent one at that. Which occasionally drives him to melancholy. Initially it bothered his functioning mentally but not anymore. Kris had gotten used to it. It didn't hurt him much with time. He had learned to cope with it.

Kris had came to know of his depression in his early teens-probably fifteen years of age. Unsurprisingly, Junmyeon was the one to conclude that. But they had secretly consulted one of the therapist, who was an older brother of one of Junmyeon's classmate. He was requested to keep the visit confidential. And so is the case until now as his father (or anyone else) still don't know  about it. 

Eversince, Junmyeon had been helping him find ways for him to cope with it. Hence, the idea of trying littlespace as it was one of his search results. Kris is utterly grateful for all the help he provided, which had kept him going. If not for Junmyeon, Kris might not even be alive. Although, Junmyeon begs to differ at that. He always reminds him how strong he is, but Kris never believes that.  That's not important though.

Junmyeon was the only one to provide him with comfort, love or anything related to positive feelings in his life. But it had started to seem that soon the significance of his efforts will be wearing off. It was different when they were young. They had more time to be together and Kris didn't have many responsibilities regarding the company, so it was easier for him to keep going. Things had changed now and nothing is same as before . His father's expectations for him has been increasing to give his best and Junmyeon is not available every time. Which means less affection and insurance for Kris. And to top it all, he can't find any opportunity to be little with the increasing operations he has to handle in the company. There is nothing that is making him feel at ease or comfort him and provide him with mental peace.

—

There is one thing that makes him feels like this and which is not related to, or Junmyeon himself. It is, to his utter amazement, a person he would never even imagine. 

Kyungsoo

Kris was amazed and confused when he came to this realization. Amazed as it came with a bit of another feeling.A feeling of safety or security. The thing is Kris either has worse days or bad days, which are good days for him in comparison. And this is probably the first ever time that he was not feeling worse in junmyeon's absence. All thanks to other person's presence- his assistant.

He is great at his work and it had made organizing everything way easier for Kris. But that is not what he is talking about.  Kyungsoo's presence always bring something he cannot name now, but which always make him feel better. Maybe, it is his kindness and caring and friendly nature. Kyungsoo does his work with more compassion. As if it his duty to do so. Not just something he is doing just to earn bread. He does more than even what his work requires.

In just two month's time Kyungsoo had understood so many of Kris's habits better than he himself did. He not only organizes his schedule but also cares for him as friend would. Always keeping an eye on his health and reminding him to care of himself. He would sense sometimes if Kris is stressed or distressed. And it is like as if it is obvious and natural for him  to behave like this. Although he is careful to not cross his limits and go overboard.

Kyungsoo also possesses more capabilities than required for the job of an assistant. Which makes Kris wonder why he accepted such position when his skills and qualifications are for much more. Kris even came to know of his knowledge in business related matters, which proves to be more than himself  in some cases. And after the first month of his attending the job, Kris takes him to almost every business or boards meeting. And had been given suggestions  by him a few times. Hell, Kyungsoo even saved his and saved  him getting humiliated by the board of director he is answerable to, when he was unable to convince the investors to give them more funding for their upcoming and important project. Kyungsoo came up with alternate solution to provide the company with money and gave all the credits to Kris for that.

It amazes Kris because he never felt the need to be cared by anyone other than Junmyeon.He preferred to keep distance with anyone other than his cousin. But Kyungsoo is completely a different story. Kris doesn't trust people as they always are trying to get benefited from his wealth and status. And are trying to fake a friendship with him for the same. But Kyungsoo is the first stranger to offer him kindness and genuine care without expecting anything in return. Kris therefore,trust him. Maybe, this why he is confused too.

This is the first time he had ever experience such things from someone who is not Junmyeon. And so should have been hard to him to getting used to it.But it is contrary with Kyungsoo's case and this aspect is making him confuse. He had noticed Kyungsoo is more friendlier with him than the other employees. That could be because they are together for the majority of the day. Nevertheless, he likes it. Maybe he likes it that he is being cared by someone genuinely,other than Junmyeon. Or the fact that he is feeling assured that someone got his back with the crises of the company. Or it could be that Kyungsoo is an year older than him and reminds him so much of Junmyeon in more ways than one. Also providing him the comfort without doing much.

Whatever it is, Kris likes it. He is aware that it is too soon to trust anyone but he is helpless when it comes to Kyungsoo.

Kris like him and is slowly considering him as a friend and well wisher.

—

"You are still at the office sir?"

Kris looked up from his chair and smiled. "You are still here too Kyungsoo. And haven't I told you to call me by my name when it's just the two of us? I am an year younger than you, so that is only obvious."

Kyungsoo smirked a bit. "Well if that's the case than you should call me hyung when we are alone." 

Kris just chuckled in reply.

"Anyways, what are you still doing in the office? Shouldn't you be home already Kris?" 

Kris smiled slightly hearing that. He never liked his name because it was always laced with negativity because of it's association with his huge status. Or rather it's connectivity with his father's name. But it might be the first time he liked hearing it from someone other than Junmyeon.

Kris liked how the name rolled off of Kyungsoo's tongue.

"I was about to pack anyways. Junmyeon must have arrived at my home already." He replied getting up and packing his stuffs.

"You mean your cousin Junmyeon you've told me about. He is in Seoul right now?" Kyungsoo queried.

Kris had told him a bit about himself which includes Junmyeon and that person's importance in his life. Ofcourse, he never told about the extent of the relation he had with him. 

"Yes! And he promised to spend some time with me."

"Somebody is going to be happy today. And I hope to see you in a better mood tomorrow." Kyungsoo commented when they both were heading towards the eleveator. Nobody exactly want to use the stairs while descending 16 floors. Especially, when you are eager to leave the building. 

They both were silent after they entered and when the lift started going down. But something happened when they were close to the tenth floor. 

A spark light up in the main board in the electricity room of the building. The power was cut off and the whole building out. The elevator obviously came to a stop harshly with a jolt, causing the two men riding it to lose their balance somewhat.

While Kyungsoo was not that much phased by it, Kris was panicking on the other corner of it. He despises the dark. And here he can not even see his own hand or Kyungsoo. He was also getting frightened with the complete silence that followed. 

"What happened ?" Kyungsoo uttered after few moments, thankfully. Though Kris's words were stuck in his throat.

Kris was panicking for different reasons now. The fright he was experiencing due to the darkness was pushing him to regress and fall into littlespace. But he cannot when Kyungsoo is here with him. He was focusing his whole energy in suppressing that urge.

But when even after few minutes the darkness resumed and Kyungsoo didn't said anything, Kris began to suffocate. He was feeling a bit claustrophobic.The darkness and suffocation horrified him and he began to shiver uncontrollably; which Kyungsoo failed to noticed, unsurprisingly.

Up until he heard a whimper escaping from beside him, followed by a light sob. He was alerted immediately.

"Kris! Kris! Are you all right?" He exclaimed a bit worriedly.

When the sobs continued in place of a coherent answer he blindly tried to reach out to Kris and embraced him as soon as he came in physical contact. He now get to feel the shivering in Kris's body. Kyungsoo tightened his hold and started rubbing his back, whispering soothing words to calm him down. He continued doing so for a minute or two, until his hand froze abruptly hearing something. 

A very soft voice from the body in his hold had spoken something. It was so soft that it could easily pass off as whisper and could have gone unnoticed.

But thanks to immense silence to even hear someone's breathing, the words were loud and clear to Kyungsoo. And they were,

"Hyungie me scawed."