Yixing

Yixing felt his throat go dry as he looked at the older man in front of him. Yifan stood slightly tilted to one side casually, a small smile on his face. In his hand he held a familiar looking bag, the blue one that the members had compiled their meager salaries together to buy for him during their first year together as an official group. Yixing felt his chest tighten as he tore his eyes away from the bag. It had already been a few years since Yifan had left, out of the blue and without telling any of the other Exo members. While Yixing understood that Yifan had his reasons, it still stung to think that Yifan didn’t trust him enough to tell him about his desire to leave. Ruolan’s eyes lit up as she saw Yifan, and she bounded forward like an eager puppy.

“Yifan gege!” She chirped happily. Instinctively, Yixing’s grip tightened on Ruolan’s hand, yanking her back sharply to his side. Yixing took a step forward, effectively putting half of his body in front of Ruolan. Ruolan squeaked in protest at the sudden movement, but Yixing didn’t budge. He remembered that Ruolan had been close with Yifan during their trainee days, almost as close as she had been to him. It was only natural that she was happy to see him. But at that moment, something inside him kept him from allowing Ruolan close to the former Exo member.

“It’s been a while.” He said coolly to Yifan, “What brings you here?” Yifan chuckled.

“It shouldn’t be anything strange to see a celebrity at the airport.” He answered, “I’m flying to another part of China for a schedule.”

“Is that so?” Yixing replied, “Well, I wouldn’t want to keep you then. Have a good time, wherever you are going.” Yifan raised an eyebrow.

“Is that all you have to say?” He asked. Yixing’s hand clenched tightly. Of course it wasn’t. There were many things he wanted to say to Yifan, so many things to ask. At the very least, he wanted to know what his former group mate had been up to in the time since he had left. But the words wouldn’t come to his lips, and even if they could, Yixing knew a public airport wasn’t the place to say them.

“I don’t believe so.” Yixing responded, “Besides, my girlfriend and I have a flight to catch. There is no time to spend chatting.” Yifan raised an eyebrow.

“Is that so?” He answered, “Well, I hope your relationship works out this time.” Yixing met his gaze defiantly.

“Of course it will.” He said firmly. An amused look entered Yifan’s eyes, and he peeked around Yixing’s shoulder at Ruolan.

“Xiao Lan, it’s good to see you again.” He said, “Now that you’ve debuted, I’m sure we’ll have lots of chances to see each other. Let’s catch up sometime!” Ruolan grinned and nodded eagerly.

“I would love to!” She responded. Yixing turned to shoot her a glare, but Ruolan seemed ignorant of the daggers he was shooting at her. Yifan waved goodbye and headed off in another direction, but Yixing didn’t move until Yifan had disappeared into the throng of travelers. Ruolan tugged on Yixing’s hand.

“What is wrong with you?” She muttered as they headed for their flight. Yixing narrowed his eyes as he looked down at her.

“I’d suggest you not act too affectionately around Yifan.” He warned. Ruolan frowned.

“He is a friend!” She protested, “He may be your former groupmate, but that has nothing to do with me.”

“That is not the issue!” Yixing snapped. His voice rose slightly, drawing the attention of a few fans wandering nearby. Yixing looked up and smiled calmly at them before returning his attention to Ruolan, his gaze hardening.

“Do not forget who’s woman you are now.” He said firmly, “One wrong move, one more mistakenly caused scandal, and all we’ve worked for will go to waste. Do you understand?”

“I am not an object!” Ruolan protested, but Yixing’s cold gaze silenced her.

“Alright.” She added after another moment’s pause, “I’ll be careful.”

“Much better.” Yixing said in approval, the tight knot in his chest easing slightly. As they boarded the flight back to Korea, Yixing thought back to what he had done when Yifan had appeared. For a moment, he had felt a strong sense of possessiveness rise in his chest, an irresistible urge to keep Yifan away from Ruolan. Yixing frowned in confusion as he turned that thought over in his mind.

What is wrong with me?

____________________________________________________________________________

A few days later, Ruolan

Ruolan looked around curiously as Yixing led her into the restaurant for their pre-set date. Yixing had chosen a high class restaurant this time, even going to the lengths of reserving a room so they could speak in private. Still, it didn’t stop more than one pair of eyes from watching them curiously as they followed a waiter to their room.

“Why did you pick such a fancy place this time?” Ruolan asked curiously after they had been left in private. Yixing’s lips curled into a carefully created smile as the waiter served the preordered food.

“I wanted to thank you for taking care of me while we were in China.” He said simply. Ruolan laughed shyly for the waiter to see, then let the smile fall off her face when he left.

“I only did it because I had to.” She replied coolly, although a tiny part of her brain told her that wasn’t entirely true. Yixing toyed with the napkin across his lap.

“I would like it if you could keep what happened a secret though.” He continued, “If this gets exaggerated, I’ll have to take a break, and I neither want to nor think I need to do that.” Ruolan thought for a moment before nodding.

“But in return for keeping it a secret,” She said, “I want to know something.” Yixing smiled wryly.

“Do you have to treat even a simple question as a business transaction?” He asked. Ruolan smirked.

“Zhang Yixing, everything that involves us is a transaction. From the first day we got into this mess, everything has been a transaction of equal exchange.” She answered, “We are simply acting for each other’s benefit. You haven’t forgotten that, have you?” Yixing laughed dryly.

“No, I haven’t forgotten.” He replied, “Alright, what do you want to know?” Ruolan crossed her arms.

“How did you manage to injure yourself so seriously?” She asked, “I never noticed back when we danced together.” Yixing’s smile faded slightly and his hands tightened slightly around the tablecloth.

“When I found out that the company was planning a new boy group, I knew that it would be one of my only, and perhaps the final chance, for me to debut.” He began, “At that time, one continuous problem I had was that I was never well balanced when I was dancing, and that affected the quality of my performances. In order to make sure that I had perfect balance, I tied heavy sandbags to my waist every day when practicing.” He smiled wryly, one hand touching his hip.

“It put such a strain on my muscles that it led to consistent injuries, and after some time, the injury never fully healed because I kept dancing with it there.” He finished softly, “To this day, whenever I strain my body too much, it begins to hurt and I have to get treatment for it.” Ruolan swallowed hard as she listened.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” She asked, “I wouldn’t have asked for your help if you had told me you were hurting.” Yixing smiled faintly.

“You had enough things to worry about without worrying about me too.” He answered simply. Ruolan bit her lip, a soft frown turning down the corners of .

“You make it sound like you were doing it for my own good.” She commented quietly. Yixing’s face was a mixture of emotions as he smiled faintly again.

“I have done a lot of things for your good, Xiao Lan.” He replied. Ruolan swallowed hard as she felt go dry, her heart pounding slightly at his words. She cleared before her brain could get too distracted, and picked up a fork to poke at her food.

“Enough of that.” She said firmly, “I don’t want to hear that coming from you.”

‘

“Lan’er…” Yixing began, but Ruolan raised her eyes and shook her head.

“I said enough!” She repeated, her hand tightening around her fork. Yixing sighed and picked up his fork as well.

“Very well.” He gave in. The rest of the meal was eaten in silence, and once they were finished, Yixing walked Ruolan out of the restaurant.

“Wait here, I’ll go get my car.” He said. Ruolan smiled a little and nodded politely. She closed her eyes and let the cool winter wind blow against her cheeks as she waited for Yixing. She could feel the stares of people passing by, but pointedly ignored them all. She stuffed her hands into her pockets and took a deep breath of chilly air. For a few moments, she could pretend that there was nothing going on, that life was peaceful and uneventful. She would return to their dorm to find her members waiting for her to practice, and then…

“Jie jie?” A male voice spoke, and Ruolan’s eyes flew open as she recognized the voice. Slowly, she turned in the direction of the voice, and her body froze as she looked at the man standing before her. He was tall, dressed in a long black coat with a white scarf wrapped around his neck. A smile spread across his face as he looked at her.

“Jie!” He said happily. Ruolan hesitated, then gave in and let a small smile spread across her lips.

“Hao Chen!” She greeted softly. The younger man gazed at her for a few moments before stepping forward to envelop her into a warm hug.

“Have you been well?” He asked gently, “I saw your dating news explode all over the internet. You must be so busy keeping up with everything in addition to the dating news too.” Ruolan gave him a little smile.

“I’m doing alright.” She replied simply, “But what are you doing in Korea?” Hao Chen grinned.

“Hao Yang is currently negotiating a major deal with a Korean company right now.” He replied, “Father is letting me lead the negotiations for the first time!” Ruolan’s hands tightened unconsciously on the edge of her coat.

“Then, is he…?” She began, but her voice trailed off as a voice called out to Hao Chen.

“Son!” Ruolan’s eyes moved slowly to two figures approaching Hao Chen from behind and felt go dry. Even from a distance, Ruolan could feel the aura of elegance and class exuding from the pair. It had been years since she had last seen the older man and woman who were approaching. Still, her heart immediately began to hammer in her chest, and she took a step back instinctively. The woman’s smile faded as the pair stopped next to Hao Chen.

“Ruolan.” She greeted coolly, “What a coincidence to see you. What were you doing here?” Ruolan swallowed hard and dipped her head slightly.

“Mother.” She greeted quietly, “Father.” The older man next to the woman grunted slightly in acknowledgement. The woman looked expectantly at Ruolan, waiting for her to answer the question. Ruolan bit her lip.

“I’m here on a date.” She replied after hesitating for a moment. The woman scoffed.

“Of course you are.” She said, “Openly dating like it only matters to you, that is just the way you would act, Ruolan.” Ruolan gritted her teeth and forced a smile to her lips, knowing that others would be watching her every move.

“I do not see anything wrong with dating, Mother.” She responded coolly. Her mother crossed her arms.

“Perhaps for other people it is not wrong, Ruolan.” She answered, “But for you, it is a whole different matter. Do you know what embarrassment you have brought to our family by getting caught coming out of a hotel with a man?” Ruolan felt her cheeks grow hot.

“He is my boyfriend, Mother.” She said firmly, “Besides, my company was able to settle the matter.” Her mother scoffed.

“If your father hadn’t intervened, do you think the matter would have been settled so easily?” She asked, “Do you think you could still stand on stage now?” Ruolan swallowed hard as she forced herself to be calm.

“So what?” She asked, “Do you expect me to thank him? Grovel on my knees in eternal gratitude?” A deep bitterness rose in her chest as she gazed at her parents.

“Now that I have debuted and become famous, now I am to be considered a member of your family?” She asked, “Now that I have become something, now I am considered your daughter? Now you care what I do?”

“Ruolan!” Her father finally spoke, “Do not forget that you have what you do because of your parents! You should be grateful!” Ruolan laughed bitterly at his words.

“Grateful?” She repeated, “Grateful for what? Grateful for the pain and loneliness that I felt every day when I was stuck in that house being your pawn, paraded around for show?” She shook her head.

“Perhaps I owe my existence to you, but nothing either of you have done is worth being called parents.” She continued, “Perhaps it is because of you that I have the skills that I do, but the darkness that I lived in as a child…” Her hands clenched tightly around the edge of her coat.

“That darkness is something I will never forget.” She finished. A low growl rose in her father’s throat.

“Xu Ruolan!” He snapped warningly, but Ruolan plunged forward brazenly despite the look on her parents’ faces.

“My name is Huang Ruolan!” She interrupted firmly.

“You!” Her father’s hand raised into the air, and Ruolan stepped forward, her chin raised into the air.

“What?” She asked, “Do you want to hit me, an idol singer, in the middle of a public street?” It was a more quiet street, given the class of the restaurant, but they were quite visible nonetheless.

“Go ahead!” Ruolan challenged, “It wouldn’t be the first time you’ve hit me anyway!” Her hands clenched into fists at her side as she gazed defiantly at her father.

“But remember this, Father.” She said firmly, “I am no longer the young girl who feared you. I’m much stronger than that now.”

“You think I wouldn’t dare?” Her father growled, and Ruolan forced her eyes to stay open as her father’s hand rushed towards her face. Then, at the last second, a strong arm wrapped around her waist and yanked her backwards. A hand came from behind Ruolan and grabbed her father’s in midair, causing it to stop just a breath away from her cheek. For a moment, it was as if time froze. Ruolan’s heart hammered in her chest as adrenaline pumped through her body.

“That was close.” A male voice spoke near her ear, and Ruolan turned her head slightly to see Yixing standing behind her, his arm looped around her waist. The senior singer held Ruolan tightly against his chest, his arm like a cage locked around her protectively.

“Zhang Yixing?” She asked, feeling slightly dazed by the rush of events.

“That would be me.” He replied, his voice a low murmur at the back of his throat. Ruolan’s father pulled his hand free from Yixing’s grasp.

“Who are you?” He demanded. Yixing looked up and offered the older man a small smile as he bowed politely.

“I am Lan’er’s boyfriend.” He replied, “My name is Zhang Yixing.” Ruolan’s father glared at Yixing.

“So you are the man who seduced my daughter?” He asked.

“Father!” Ruolan cried incredulously, “Do not be ridiculous!” Yixing patted Ruolan gently on the hand.

“Seduced?” He asked, “Uncle, Lan’er and I are both in love with each other, and have been so for many years. It seems extreme to say that I seduced your daughter, isn’t it?” He gently released Ruolan from his grasp but carefully eased her behind him.

“If you would like to teach your own daughter a lesson, I have no qualms against letting you do that.” Yixing said, “But when my girlfriend has done nothing wrong, I see no reason to stand back and let you do as you want. Besides, Ruolan is a celebrity now. If anyone catches even a photo of you hitting her, it would look bad on both her and you, now wouldn’t you agree?” Ruolan’s father gritted his teeth, but Ruolan could tell that he had no choice but to acknowledge the truth of Yixing’s words. Sensing his victory, Yixing slipped Ruolan’s hand into his and smiled down at her.

“My car is just around the corner.” He said, “Let’s go, Lan’er.” Ruolan forced a tiny smile to her lips and nodded, just barely remembering to keep up the charade.

“Jie!” She heard Hao Chen call from behind her, and Ruolan raised a hand to give her brother a wave over her shoulder. Still, even though Yixing had defused the situation, as she slipped into the car, she could feel her parents’ eyes watching her, and it made her heart uneasy. Yixing looked over at her as she sat quietly in the passenger seat, her hands clenched tightly around each other lest her fingers begin to tremble. He silently began to drive, and it wasn’t until what felt like some time later that Ruolan finally looked up at the road they were traveling on.

“This isn’t the way home.” She realized, “Where are we going?”

“You don’t want to go home right now, right?” Yixing asked, “I’m taking you to get some fresh air.” Ruolan looked over at him in surprise. In fact, she indeed had been thinking about how she didn’t want to go back to the dorm yet. It would only worry her members to see the troubled look on her face, and there was no way to practice properly if her mind was occupied with thinking about her parents. She thought she had been keeping her thoughts hidden well in the darkness of the car, but Yixing had somehow seen right through her.

How is he doing that?

Before long, Ruolan found herself by the waterfront, the cool winter wind blowing at her cheeks. Yixing had managed to find a rather secluded spot by the water, shielded from the prying eyes of regular people passing by. After a few moments of silence, Yixing finally spoke.

“Can you tell me what all that was?” He asked. Ruolan sighed and took a deep breath of cold air. She had been waiting for Yixing to ask that question. She steeled herself briefly before turning to face him.

“I can tell you.” She agreed, “But you cannot tell anyone else. Few people know about my background outside of the company.” Yixing thought for a moment before nodding.

“Alright.” He agreed simply. Ruolan blinked in surprise.

“That’s it?” She asked, “You’re agreeing just like that.” Yixing smiled faintly.

“Huang Ruolan, not everything in this world has to be give and take.” He replied, “I will count this as one of those situations.” Taken slightly aback, Ruolan had to turn away for a moment to collect herself before looking back at him.

Zhang Yixing, what are you trying to pull?

Now that he had seen everything, there was no way she could avoid telling him the truth though; of that much at least, Ruolan was certain. She took a deep breath before beginning.

“When I was born, my name was Xu Ruolan.” Ruolan said, “I am the eldest daughter of the CEO of Hao Yang Corporation. The man and woman you saw back there are my parents, and the younger man is my little brother, Xu Hao Chen, the future successor to Hao Yang Corporation.”Yixing frowned in confusion.

“But if they are your family, then why…?” His voice trailed off questioningly. Ruolan smiled bitterly.

“I am their biological child, yet you want to know why they treated me like this and why our relationship is so cold, right?” She asked. Yixing hesitated, then nodded.

“I am their daughter, but that is precisely the issue.” Ruolan answered, “I was born first, but I was not what they wanted.” She sighed as she turned to look out at the water.

“My parents are very old fashioned.” She said, “They only wanted a son to take over the business in the future. But even so, I, a girl, was born first. And so, ever since I was born, I served no purpose but to look good in front of the public and make them look like the perfect parents. They were all smiles and hugs in front of the public, but inside that big house that became my prison, I faced no warmth or care from either of them. That only got worse after my brother was born.” She smiled faintly as she stretched her hand out in front of her.

“Do you know what my fans call me?” She asked. Yixing bit his lip.

“An impeccably talented porcelain doll.” He replied. Ruolan laughed softly.

“That’s right.” She replied, “But do you know why I am good at doing so many things? It’s because my parents made me learn everything possible ever since I was a child. And when I was young, my naive mind thought that if perhaps I was just a little more perfect, a little better at doing what they asked of me, perhaps they would spare me a little of their love.” A soft sigh escaped her lips.

“Looking back at that, I can only call my futile efforts foolish.” She concluded with a bitter smile.

“Then...your last name?” Yixing asked.

“I had it legally changed after I left SM.” Ruolan replied, “I had been determined to debut, to show them that I could succeed even outside of their control. Likewise, they were convinced that I would never stand on stage. After I was removed from Red Velvet, I knew the Xu family name would come back to bite me. And so, I decided to cut as many ties as legally possible, and changed my last name as soon as I turned eighteen. But even now, it seems that especially because I debuted, they are intent on controlling my every move to the farthest extent possible.” She lifted her head up to the sky.

“In that house, the only one who was ever kind to me was my sweet innocent little brother, Hao Chen.” She said wistfully, “Perhaps I only lasted so long there because of him.” She turned to look at Yixing, and found herself staring into a pair of guilty dark brown eyes.

“I...never knew.” He said quietly. Ruolan sighed.

“Even if you had, what difference would it have made?” She asked, “Between debuting and helping me, I know what you would have chosen in the end.” Yixing stepped closer, and hesitantly, he reached out and gently brushed a finger against the bottom of her eye. As he pulled his hand away, Ruolan saw a drop of liquid resting on Yixing’s slender finger, and with a start, she realized that tears had pooled in her eyes while she had been talking.

“Thank you, for trusting me enough to tell me all that.” He said quietly. Ruolan dipped her head, unsure of what to say. It irked her when she realized that Yixing neither denied nor admitted that he would have chosen the same path no matter if he had known her past or not. But as she looked at his large slender hands, she would have been lying if she thought that in the moment he had brushed away her tear, her heart had not been pounding, and not just from the exertion of recalling the past. After a few moments of silence, Yixing reached out and took her by the wrist.

“Let’s go.” He said. Ruolan frowned in confusion.

“Go where? Home?” She asked. Yixing chuckled and shook his head.

“Of course not. I’m going to take you somewhere even better.” He replied.

____________________________________________________________________________

A little while later

Ruolan looked around curiously as she stepped out of Yixing’s car, and froze as she noticed the bright shop signs and street lights around her. She reached out and tugged on Yixing’s sleeve.

“What’s wrong?” He asked. Ruolan shook her head.

“Myeongdong Night Market is too busy!” She whispered, “There are so many people here, we’re bound to be recognized.” Yixing chuckled.

“So what?” He asked, “Don’t forget, we are openly dating right now. If people want to stare, then let them.” He turned to his car and pulled out a cap from the glove compartment before putting it on Ruolan’s head.

“Is that better?” He asked teasingly. Ruolan frowned.

“I suppose.” She muttered. Yixing smiled.

“Alright, stop pouting.” He chided. He reached down and slipped his hand through Ruolan’s.

“No matter what reality is like, just for tonight, treat me as your real boyfriend.” He said softly, “A boyfriend’s job when his girlfriend is sad is to cheer her up again. Let’s have fun tonight, okay?” Ruolan looked up into his earnest eyes, and smiled softly. Despite her reservations against him, there was no way she could refuse the look on his face. Besides, it would be useless to return to the dorm in her current emotional state.

“Just for tonight.” She agreed. Yixing grinned and pulled her off into the myriad of food stalls and craft stands. For what felt like hours, they weaved through the night market, eating whatever they wanted and playing games like any other couple on a date. And slowly, as the night went on, Ruolan felt the tightness in her chest ease. As she watched Yixing attempt to shoot down a toy at one of the game stands, she felt herself truly smile for the first time in what felt like forever. Still though, something warned her from the back of her mind not to get too carried away. In the end, their whole relationship was just for show. Even tonight, perhaps Yixing was just playing his role.

Zhang Yixing, please don’t be so kind to me. If you treat me too well, I’m going to be tempted to forgive you for what happened in the past. And when that happens…

____________________________________________________________________________

A few hours later, Yixing

Yixing stopped his car near the entrance to Ruolan’s dorm, and turned to see that she had fallen asleep in the passenger seat. Her arms lay draped around the big plush rabbit he had managed to win for her, her eyes closed peacefully in calm slumber. Yixing felt a small smile cross his face as he watched her for a few moments. If she could manage to fall asleep, then perhaps his efforts tonight hadn’t gone to waste. He reached out and gently tugged the rabbit from her arms, then reached down and released the seatbelt. He moved slowly to release the seatbelt back to its original position so as not to wake up Ruolan. As his arm moved further up while releasing the seatbelt, Yixing found himself merely inches away from Ruolan’s sleeping face. Yixing felt his throat grow dry, and his heart began to hammer in his chest. Ruolan was no longer the young girl who had practiced hard and earnestly in the early morning sunlight bathing the SM practice room. She had matured, both emotionally and physically, and it drew an inexplicable emotional tug in his chest towards her. His thoughts were cut off though, as Ruolan stirred, and her eyes opened to find Yixing far closer than he had ever been before. Her eyes widened, her lips parting slightly in surprise. For a moment, both stared wide-eyed at each other until Yixing cleared his throat and pulled away.

“We’re back.” He mumbled awkwardly. Ruolan coughed and nodded.

“Th-thank you.” She muttered as she scrabbled to grab her rabbit. After a few moments of fumbling, she gathered her things and slipped out of the car.

“Good night.” Ruolan mumbled with a quick bow. Before Yixing could respond, she hurried off into the dorm building and disappeared from sight. Yixing chuckled softly and looked up at the bright moon hanging in the night sky.

“Xiao Lan…” He whispered softly, “Can we really never go back to the way things used to be?” Yixing closed his eyes, and thought back to the fateful events that had happened long ago.