One month later, Yixing

Yixing paused as he stepped into the practice room, one hand lowering to rest on his waist. A low throb pulsed against his fingers, the muscles tightening painfully under his touch. A soft groan escaped Yixing’s lips. Thanks to Exo’s continuous promotions for the past month plus his extra activities for his fake dating relationship, his old waist injury was starting to hurt again. There was no time for him to take a break though; Exo was scheduled to perform at the upcoming Music Bank in China, and he was also set to perform his first solo song with Ruolan as a duet. An appointment with the therapist would have to wait.

“Zhang Yixing?” Ruolan’s voice reached his ears, and he straightened up quickly as he noticed her in the middle of the room.

“What are you doing?” She queried. Yixing shook his head and tucked his hand behind his back.

“Nothing.” He replied, “Are you ready to practice?” Ruolan crossed her arms.

“I’ve been here for an hour already.” She pointed out. Yixing laughed awkwardly and put down his bag.

“Well then, let us get started then.” He replied. Perhaps he was just tired from the continuous promotions. Yixing was almost certain the pain would go away after some exercise.

_________________________________________________________________________

A few days later

The pain didn’t go away though, and by the time the artists all boarded the plane to China, the pain in Yixing’s waist had strengthened from a dull throb to feeling like needles were stabbing his muscles. Yixing knew there was no going back though; if he backed out now, disappointing his fans would be the least of his worries. The entire schedule would be thrown off, all his efforts practicing with Ruolan would have gone to waste, and he would be expected to rest from promotions for at least a few days. No, as long as he could stand upright, Yixing was going to stand on stage. Of course, that was easier said than done. Yixing could ignore the pain while he sat waiting for his makeup and hair to be finished, but as soon as he stood up, the aching feeling radiated down his leg, causing him to grab onto the edge of the makeup table for balance.

“Lay?” Chen looked at him in concern, “Are you okay?” Yixing smiled faintly nodded. Ruolan came in just then, and Yixing seized the chance to push s away before they caught onto his discomfort.

“You guys go ahead.” He waved at the other boys standing by the door, “I have something to discuss with Ruolan about our performance.” As s filed out the door, Suho turned and cast a long look at Yixing, as if sensing something was wrong. Yixing grinned and tightened his grip on the table before waving cheerfully at his leader. Ruolan frowned as she came over to him.

“I came over to see if we needed to go over anything else.” She said, “What was it you wanted to talk about?” For a moment, Yixing wavered, unsure whether or not it would be right to expose his weakness to Ruolan. He had no idea how she had changed within the past six years, whether her lips could be trusted to stay tightly sealed or not. But another stab of pain down his leg blew those doubts away, and Yixing reached out to grab Ruolan by the arm.

“Lend me your shoulder for a moment.” He said, his voice sounding breathless. Ruolan frowned in confusion.

“What are you…?” She squeaked in surprise as Yixing took a step forward and lowered his forehead onto her shoulder. The soft scent of floral perfume filled Yixing’s nose as he stood there,  soothing the pounding beat of his heart in his chest. He could feel a cold sweat breaking out on his back, and he was more than grateful that his stylist decided to dress him in black. At least that way, any change in color was less obvious. He could feel, no, he could hear Ruolan’s heart hammering in her chest. It was clear that the younger singer was caught off guard and nervous from the sudden proximity, but Yixing didn’t want to pull away.

“Zhang Yixing…” Ruolan whispered softly, but Yixing shook his head and tightened his grasp on her arm.

“Just stay here for a moment.” He murmured softly, “Just for a little while longer.” A thought fluttered unbidden from the hazy depths of Yixing’s pain clouded mind.

As long as Lan’er is here, I can forget about the pain.

____________________________________________________________________________

Ruolan

Ruolan gulped, her heart hammering loudly in her chest as Yixing rested on her shoulder.

What is going on?

They stood in silence for a little while before Ruolan looked down and noticed the tiny trembles running along Yixing’s shoulders.

“Zhang Yixing?” She queried softly, touching his head gently. To her surprise, wetness dotted her fingers where she had touched him, and Ruolan hesitated for a moment before pressing the back of her hand against his cheek.

“You’re sweating!” She exclaimed, “And your cheeks are flushed too!” She gently pushed Yixing up from her shoulder and pressed a hand against his forehead as he protested groggily.

“You’re running a fever!” Ruolan cried, “Why didn’t you say anything?” Yixing shook his head and pressed a finger to her lips.

“Don’t let anyone hear you.” He murmured, “My old waist injury is just acting up again, that’s all. It’s been going on for a little while.” Ruolan huffed.

“Just a little while?” She repeated, “I don’t think so. You can’t stand on stage like this.” Yixing shook his head and rubbed a hand over his face.

“I must.” He insisted, “Everyone will be so disappointed if I’m not there, and then we can’t do our duet either.” Ruolan growled.

“Zhang Yixing, you cannot possibly perform while you’re in pain like this!” She protested. Yixing shook his head again.

“I’ll be fine after I take some pain medication.” He replied while gesturing to a white bag sitting on the couch, “It’s in that bag over there.” Ruolan opened to protest, but Yixing grabbed her by the shoulders.

“Ruolan, you know an idol’s lifespan on stage is limited.” He said, “I’ve been gone from the group for so long already. I cannot afford to give up more opportunities to be onstage as an Exo member. I didn’t train this hard to debut only to give up in the face of a little pain.” Ruolan hesitated as she looked into the earnest expression in Yixing’s eyes. While rationality told her that health was more important than a ten minute performance, she also knew that Yixing had a point. And if she and Yixing were in opposite positions at the moment…

I would choose to stand onstage as well.

Ruolan gulped and sighed deeply.

“Alright.” She agreed with a soft sigh. Yixing blew out his breath slowly and offered her a tiny smile.

“Thank you, Lan’er.” He said, a soft sparkle in his eyes. Ruolan felt her heart skip a beat and hurried to procure the desired bag.

Focus, Huang Ruolan.

____________________________________________________________________________

A little while later

The roar of the crowd set Ruolan’s heart aflame as she below the stage, waiting to be lifted up into the bright lights of the stage she loved. She cast a slight look over in Yixing’s direction as she heard the MC announce their performance. The pain medication had helped him complete Exo’s set of performances, but she could tell that it was beginning to wear off. Yixing’s lips were pursed tightly together, his body tensed as he struggled to ignore the growing pain. He caught Ruolan looking at him and gave her a quick thumbs up.

I’m okay, he mouthed with a tiny smile.

Ruolan sighed,but there was no time to respond before the elevator stage moved, and pushed the two of them up into the bright stadium lights. Ruolan let the proper emotions fall over her face in anticipation for the song, and stepped slowly over to Yixing, running a hand down his arm as they had planned. Then, the music began, and their hands joined together to begin the dance. Ruolan could feel Yixing’s fingers trembling against hers as they danced, but somehow, neither his voice nor his expression ever wavered from the tone of the song. Thankfully, Lose Control called for a sensual dance, meaning that Ruolan’s movements rarely ever pulled her more than one step away from Yixing. Their bodies moved in tandem to the beat of the music, and every time Ruolan saw Yixing’s body falter, she found a way to reach out and steady him. At last, she executed the final spin, and twirled neatly into his arms. Ruolan could only be grateful that the choreographer had made her pivot and sit on Yixing’s knee on his uninjured side for the final pose. Her arms wrapped around his neck, Yixing’s hand cupped her cheek, and then the lights were finally cut. Ruolan could feel Yixing’s entire body trembling, and she knew better than the think it was from the exertion caused by dancing. They exited the stage quickly, Yixing’s labored breathing causing Ruolan to hurry him along quickly before he collapsed in the hallway in front of everyone. She shut the dressing room door behind them, and turned around to see Yixing collapse onto the sofa.

“How is your waist?” She asked softly, hurrying to his side. Yixing swallowed hard and looked up at her. Ruolan was taken aback by the pain that showed in his watery eyes. Without a single  word, Yixing leaned over and rested his head on her shoulder.

“It hurts…” He whispered, “It hurts so much I’m afraid I cannot even walk.” Ruolan swallowed and gently patted him on the arm. It was a little unnerving for him to do this without even asking, but it wasn’t right to push him away in this state. And so, Ruolan gently patted him on the shoulder until the other Exo members and staff finally located them.

____________________________________________________________________________

Later that night, the hotel

Ruolan’s jaw dropped as she stared at Yixing’s manager.

“What do you mean, you want me to stay and take care of him?” She demanded. The manager clasped his hands together apologetically.

“I’m sorry, I have to stay with the rest of the group tonight, but Yixing needs some rest without the chaos from the other members.” He said, “Since you are supposed to be his girlfriend, you are the best choice to take care of him!” He looked down at the sleeping Yixing.

“Besides, I don’t think you have a choice anyway.” He replied, pointing at Yixing’s hand. Ruolan looked down and felt her cheeks flush as she noticed Yixing’s fingers clasping tightly onto her sleeve.

What does he think he is doing?!

She sighed and nodded.

“I suppose.” She replied, “But no one is to know about this. Who knows what rumors will spread if someone hears that I spent the night in his hotel room with him alone?” The manager nodded and bowed gratefully before hurrying out of the room. Ruolan sighed again and looked down at Yixing. He had fallen asleep immediately after taking some prescribed sleep medication. The doctor had said that he had aggravated his old injury and hadn’t treated it soon enough, hence leading to extreme strain and eventually a fever. Ruolan carefully pried Yixing’s fingers from her sleeve as she sat down next to him.

“Zhang Yixing, just what did you do to yourself?” She wondered softly, “It must have been from before your debut.” Ruolan cupped her chin in her hands as she studied the sleeping young man. His long fingers laid relaxed on his chest, his long lashes resting lightly below his closed eyes. Just how much had he strained himself in order to debut, that it had come to an old injury that never fully went away? In his sleep, Yixing seemed no different from the kind senior she had met at SM Entertainment, all those years ago. His long fingers had been the ones guiding her through movements she struggled to master, his soft laughter twinkling in her ear as they had danced together. His movements were always so fluid, so perfect. It had been one of the things that had drawn her to him in the first place. Ruolan thought back to the insistence in Yixing’s eyes as he had insisted on continuing his performance.

You really do love the stage, don’t you, Zhang Yixing? What sort of things did you go through in order to debut? What did you keep hidden from me back when we were training together? I never noticed that you were in pain at all.

Ruolan leaned back into her chair and closed her eyes with a soft sigh.

Zhang Yixing, how many secrets do you have hidden from me?

_______________________________________________________________________

The tears bubbling up in Ruolan’s eyes caused Yixing’s heart to twist into a tight knot, so tightly that he could scarcely breathe. Her hand clenched her red suitcase so tightly that her knuckles were turning white. Ruolan’s voice caught in as she spoke.

“You dare to come see me off?” She asked, her voice coated with unspoken accusations. Yixing swallowed hard and forced himself to meet her gaze.

“It was only proper that I say goodbye.” He said quietly. He could feel the stinging gazes of the other trainees around him, and he could hazard a guess at the thoughts that had to be going through their minds at the moment. Still, he couldn’t blame them. Trainees dating before debut? When their full attention was supposed to be put on practicing and working towards debut? Even if it was only a rumor, it was the most scandalous of all scandals. Someone had to be sacrificed to put the matter to rest, and in this case, Ruolan had become the chosen lamb. Yixing bit his lip and reached out to put his hand on Ruolan’s shoulder. She flinched and pulled away, her gaze focusing on an unspecified spot on the ground. Yixing fought to find the right words to say. There were so many things he wanted to say to her, so many ways he could explain to her what had happened. But in the current circumstances, there was only so much he could say without fanning the flames of the scandal. Besides, he had already spoken briefly with Ruolan right after she had been notified of her contract termination, and that conversation had gotten him nothing but a slap to the face.

“I...hope you can find a company that will nurture you into a brilliant star to shine on stage.” He finally said, knowing it sounded lame and shallow, but knowing that he had already reached the limits of appropriate dialogue within that one sentence. Ruolan closed her eyes briefly with a soft sigh before looking up at him. Yixing felt a jolt run through him as he looked into her eyes. The accusatory look in her eyes was so sharp and tangible, Yixing almost felt like a dagger had been driven straight into his chest from her eyes alone. That look, he knew, could never be erased from his memory.

“Before I leave.” She said slowly, her voice low and dangerous, “Let me ask you one last thing.” Yixing waited expectantly, and Ruolan’s lip trembled before she spoke.

“What am I to you?” She asked after a moment of hesitation, “All this time, in your heart, what have I been to you?” Yixing felt taken aback by the sudden question, and a rush of different emotions flowed through him before he bit his lip and gave the only answer he knew he could.

“A junior.” He said softly, “A hoobae who is very talented and destined for great things.” Ruolan gazed at him for a moment, an unreadable expression in her eyes. Then, she laughed bitterly and adjusted the bag on her shoulder before nodding and giving him a slight bow.

“I understand.” She said quietly, “Thank you for your care all this time.” Seulgi, Wendy, and Irene came to her side, and helped her carry her things to the waiting car. Ruolan hugged the three girls goodbye, then without a second glance back, stepped into the car and left SM Entertainment behind her. Yixing felt the tightness grow in his chest as he watched her go. He wanted to run after her, to tell her all the things he was carefully keeping hidden inside him. But at this point, keeping silent was the best path to take, for both of them.

Lan’er, I’m sorry.

Lan’er, I won’t ask for you to forgive me.

Lan’er, I only hope that you will find a good place to take you in and help you achieve your dreams.

____________________________________________________________________________

Morning the next day, Yixing

“Zhang Yixing?” A gentle hand patting Yixing on the arm pulled him out of his dreams of the past and into the warm morning sunlight.

“Are you okay?” The same voice continued, and Yixing turned to see Ruolan standing next to him, her head tilted slightly. Yixing blinked and reached up to touch his face. To his surprise, his fingers came away dotted with droplets of moisture, and with a start, he realized that he had been crying in his sleep. He cleared his throat quickly and brushed his face dry.

“I’m fine.” He replied, “Just a bad dream.” Ruolan raised an eyebrow, looking like she wanted to protest, but shook her head instead.

“If you insist.” She replied, “How are you feeling?” Yixing blinked and touched his waist gingerly.

“It doesn’t hurt anymore!” He declared with a smile. Ruolan reached out and touched his forehead before nodding approvingly.

“Your fever is gone. That means the medicine worked.” She said, “Go and get ready for the day. I bought breakfast, and the companies arranged for us to fly back later so you could rest.” Yixing looked around and noticed a large blanket folded on the oversize armchair placed next to his bed.

“Were you with me all night?” He asked, surprised. Ruolan laughed softly.

“Who else would it be?” She replied, “Your manager and the other staff had to stay with the other members, and you couldn’t be left alone. The only one who could feasibly stay in here without raising any odd rumors was me.” Yixing blinked in surprise at her actions and smiled faintly.

“Thank you.” He said quietly. Ruolan huffed and placed her hands on her hips.

“Don’t be so surprised.” She chided, “I may not like you very much, but I’m not cruel enough to leave a sick sunbae all alone.” Yixing chuckled softly and nodded in agreement.

“You’ve always been kind hearted.” He commented. Ruolan blinked in surprise at the sudden praise and cleared .

“Enough small talk.” She said, quickly changing the subject, “Hurry and get ready before your congee turns cold. You’re sick, so I only got plain congee for you.” She raised a hand as Yixing opened his mouth in protest.

“A sick person can only eat plain congee.” She said firmly, “You have no choice but to eat it.” Yixing pouted slightly before throwing back the blankets.

“Alright, alright.” He gave in, “I’ll listen just this once.” Ruolan smirked.

“Good. Now go wash your face.” She said, giving him a slight push towards the bathroom. Yixing chuckled and did as he was told. His mind wandered back to his dream as he the water and splashed cold water over his face. If he closed his eyes, he could still see Ruolan’s tear filled eyes and accusatory glare, the pure hatred she had held for him in that moment. It was more than striking contrast to the Ruolan who had reluctantly taken care of him all night. Yixing sighed and continued washing his face.

Lan’er...can we ever go back to the way things used to be? Even if not entirely, can we even get close to it?

____________________________________________________________________________

A little while later, at the airport

Yixing pushed up his sunglasses to the top of his head and waved cheerfully to an adoring crowd of fans waiting eagerly for his arrival. His other hand gripped Ruolan’s tightly, keeping with the agreements in their dating contract. After all, skinship in public had been one required act. For once though, Ruolan didn’t seem to mind. It seemed that his bout of sickness had made her more agreeable, at least for now. A thought entered Yixing’s mind as they walked along the airport, and he reached down to pulled Ruolan’s hand up to his lips.

“Are you cold?” He asked softly, blowing on her fingers. Ruolan’s eyes widened in surprise, and she shook her head furiously.

“What are you doing?” She whispered. Yixing chuckled in amusement and tucked her hand, still clasped in his, into his coat pocket. His fans screamed even louder at the action, and Yixing grinned innocently at them while waving.

“Doing what I’m supposed to.” He replied smoothly to Ruolan as he turned to look back at her. While he was more than aware of how Ruolan felt about him at the moment, it wouldn’t be a bad idea to test the limits of her tolerance for his actions. In a way, it was actually amusing to watch her flail in response to his actions. Suddenly, a voice called out to him.

“Oh? Who do we have here?” Yixing froze as he recognized the voice. It was familiar, too familiar, and struck a chord in his heart. Slowly, his footsteps slowed, and he turned to look at the tall Chinese singer standing a few feet away. He carefully wiped away the surprise on his face before plastering on a polite smile.

“Yifan.”

________________________________________________________________

Author's note: And the love rival appears! I hope I'm not moving this story along too quickly. I thought of detailing the beginning of their fake dating, but all that came up was a lot of awkward sitting and talking, and that's not particularly interesting to read. There will be some date scenes, I promise! Can anyone put two and two together and guess what happened between Ruolan and Yixing six years ago?