Irene instinctively raised her hands to cover her ears and found a pair already covering them for her.

It was the day of tryouts for cheerleading, and the gym was packed full of shouts and thumps as shoes collided with the wooden floorboards after leaps and flips and turns. Irene scanned the gym and felt the adrenaline rush through her veins with the thrill of competition. Her heart raced and her hands felt clammy. She felt so out of place among the cheerleaders who cheered like it was a natural instinct. Irene had always been more of a smile-and-wave, be-polite kind of girl rather than the loud and peppy be-a-best-friend-to-everyone kind of girl that cheerleaders always seemed to be.

The nerves were really kicking in. Her stomach did a flip every single time someone did an actual flip. It was starting to make Irene feel dizzy.

"You're going to have to get used to this if you want to cheer," Seulgi laughed. She took her hands away from Irene's ears and whistled. "This is intense."

"Very."

"Are you nervous?"

"Extremely."

"Well, don't be. I'm sure you'll do great."

"Not sure your faith is enough to carry me through these tough times." Irene playfully poked Seulgi's stomach.

"Then I guess you're just a lost cause," Seulgi sighed dramatically, raising the back of her hand to her forehead.

"Oh, stop."

Irene and Seulgi watched a couple of girls wave pompoms in the corner while kicking their legs high up into the air. Joy was over by some girls that Irene didn't know very well, looking like she belonged. Unlike Irene, Joy was a veteran cheerleader. Well, Joy had been on the squad since her freshman year, at least.

A peppy girl bounded over towards Irene and bounced on her heels excitedly.

"Irene! You came," Yongsun grabbed Irene's hands and shook them with such eagerness that Irene had to wonder for a second what this girl was on.

"Yeah," Irene said with a smile.

"You excited?"

"More like nervous," Irene snorted. "Everyone here looks like they know what they're doing."

"Oh, please, Irene," Yongsun said. "You're just as capable as anyone in here."

"You're just saying that."

"Irene, seriously. You're hella flexible and you can dance and you can be peppy and happy and full of spirit! That's all you need, okay?" Yongsun poked Irene in the chest. "It's about what's in here, not here." Yongsun then tapped the side of Irene's head.

"Oh-kay," Irene said. She surveyed her competition, deep in thought when Yongsun tugged at her elbow,

"Come with me, Irene," Yongsun said, pulling Irene along. "I'll introduce you to some of the girls. You're going to love the squad so much!"

Irene gave Seulgi an apologetic smile and waved before turning her attention to Yongsun.

"Here's the deal, Irene. I know that you'd make an amazing cheerleader, okay? You just have to believe in yourself!"

"Sounds like a very cheerleader thing to say."

"That's why I'm captain, huh? Anyway, I think you're a shoo-in for the squad, so don't sweat the tryout. Just follow along with what I do, keep up, and look good." Yongsun looked Irene up and down. "Oh, who am I kidding? You always look good!"

"Uh, thanks?"

"No problem." Yongsun looked at the clock. "Oh, I guess it's time for tryouts! Good luck!"

"Thanks."

Irene took a deep breath and twiddled her thumbs, reminding herself why she was doing this again.

School spirit. Athletics. Seulgi.

Seulgi.

Ugh, Seulgi. Why was she so perfect? And sweet? And just all-around the most amazing person ever?

And why was she, Irene, the absolute worst?

As she stood there, nodding half-heartedly back at Yongsun who was shooting her a smile from across the gym, she thought of Bo Gum and their relationship.

It was nice pretending like she didn't have a boyfriend. But too bad she did.

"How were tryouts?" Bo Gum asked as he picked Irene up in his car for a lift back home.

"Good. Great, actually," Irene said in response, looking out the window. "Made the squad."

"That's awesome!" Bo Gum sounded so excitedly on Irene's behalf that Irene felt like she was going to throw up.

"Yeah."

"You okay, Irene?"

"Yeah, I'm okay."

Bo Gum didn't look convinced but he dropped the subject and drove Irene home in silence.

"Hey, Bo Gum?"

"What's up?"

Do it, Irene. Do it!

"Uh, nothing." She mentally slapped herself. Great job.

Bo Gum turned his attention back to the road. "Okay."

"Actually..."

"Yeah?"

"Nevermind."

"Look, Irene," Bo Gum pulled the car over and looked at his girlfriend, "are you sure you're okay?"

"Yes, Bo Gum. I'm sure, okay? Could you just please drive me home?"

Bo Gum sighed and put the car back in drive. "Whatever you say, Irene."

When Bo Gum finally pulled into Irene's driveway, he leaned over to kiss Irene before sitting back in his seat.

"Bo Gum, I-" Irene felt dry up at the sight of the innocently quizzical expression on Bo Gum's boyish face, the tediously built up courage rushing out of her with a whoosh! of breath -- an exhale. His hair was slightly tousled, his mouth hanging open with a response ready on his tongue. He was still smiling and happy to see Irene, be with Irene, even though she was being distant. She knew she was being distant.

Irene opened the door of the car and stepped out, bending down to peak back into the car for a final goodbye. "Thanks for the ride."

"Of course. See you tomorrow."

"See you."

Irene hurried into her house and rushed up the stairs to her room. She flopped on the bed and buried her face in the pillow and whisper-yelled as loud as she could without shattering the eardrums of anyone else in the household. She huffed and rolled onto her back and stared at the ceiling.

Why was this so hard?

Irene loved Bo Gum. She really did. Just not the same way she used to.

But that didn't mean she didn't care about him. 

He was still the kind, sweet guy that she had met all those months ago, who was there for her when she needed even when she didn't do the same for him. She didn't deserve him. She was stringing him along, letting him live in the bliss of ignorance thinking that she still loved him when her heart was elsewhere, sitting in the hands of someone who was also kind and sweet and amazing.

And taken.

Irene took her laptop from her backpack and typed into the search bar, "Am I gay?"

She scrolled through the search results and clicked on a test.

Are you romantically interested men? Bo Gum and her crushes before him.

Are you romantically interested in women? Seulgi, yes. No one before that.

Are you ually attracted to men? Yes.

Are you ually attracted to women? ...Also yes.

Irene's cheeks flushed at the thought of the day where she and Seulgi had been stuck in that agonizingly long car ride, her thighs pressed together and mind wandering in so many unwanted directions leading all back to Seulgi, looking y as ever, and Irene wanting those clothes off.

Jesus.

Irene quickly finished the test and blinked at her screen.

You are biual! You are attracted romantically and ually to both men and women, though you may have heteroual tendencies.

That sounded just about right to Irene. Seulgi was her first girl crush, after all. First girl crush after so many on just guys. So that was biuality, huh? Liking both girls and guys? When Irene thought about it, she guessed she was bi. She didn't know what else to call it. But maybe it was a fluke. Seulgi really was her first girl crush. Maybe she'd be Irene's only ever girl crush.

But that was still a girl crush. A tad bit not straight.

Irene sat there wondering whether she should even break up Bo Gum. Maybe the crush on Seulgi would fade and she and Bo Gum could be happy again. Both of them. Together. Maybe she and Seulgi could just be best friends like always, Bo Gum by Irene's side and stupid YooA by Seulgi's.

Ah, stupid YooA. Jealousy.

Irene took the test again, choosing the answers she knew would lead her to her desired outcome, looking unsurprised when the screen read,

You are heteroual! You are attracted romantically and ually to exclusively men.

Irene sighed. Reading the answer felt just as fake as she'd hoped it wouldn't. She wasn't straight. Not anymore. She couldn't say she was straight. She was biual, attracted to both men and women; people like Bo Gum and like Seulgi.

Biual.

Irene looked up at her ceiling again. She wasn't straight. She wasn't straight at all. Well, she was half-straight. Half-gay? Gay. Biual. Half-gay. Half-lesbian?

Irene closed her laptop screen and fell back on her sheets. She didn't want to think about breaking up with Bo Gum. but she knew that she had to. She had to in order to protect him and her. At the same time, though, it's not like Irene would be able to do anything with Seulgi if they broke up.

Selfish thoughts, Irene!

Irene groaned and covered her face with her hands. Breaking up with Bo Gum was the right thing to do, no matter how hard. The spark wasn't there and she couldn't continue this lie. She couldn't continue pretending that she loved him. She was just leading him on and digging herself a deeper hole.

But at the same time...

No, Irene. No.

She'd just have to do it. She'd have to break up with him.

And then she could be free. Free to date whoever she wished and free to date Seulgi...

Except Seulgi wasn't free to date her. That is, assuming Seulgi even liked her. Seulgi liked YooA. Seulgi loved YooA. Irene didn't stand a chance. But Bo Gum didn't stand a chance to Seulgi, and Irene couldn't keep pretending otherwise. She needed to end things before they got messy. She had already choked up trying to break up with him at his car...

Irene made up her mind.

She was going to break up with Bo Gum.

"Hey, Gummy," Irene said, taking a seat next to her boyfriend during lunch.

"Hey, Irene," Bo Gum said back, kissing Irene's cheek and giving her hand a squeeze.

Irene forced a laugh, which, in Wendy's opinion, was obviously forced, though no one else seemed to pay it any mind. Bo Gum had some stupid smile on his face that held no trace of malice, no sense of how Irene was going to break his heart. 

Wendy supposed she didn't actually know whether Irene was going to break up with Bo Gum, but, well, wasn't she?

"You got a little-"

"I know, I got it, Seulgi," Irene said irritably, wiping away the droplets of milk that had dribbled down her chin and pushing Seulgi's hand away from her face.

Seulgi crinkled her brow and turned away from Irene, instead striking up a conversation with Yeri, who had an eyebrow raised at Irene's cold behavior. Wendy pursed her lips and watched as Irene smiled brightly for her boyfriend; a complete 180 from the attitude she'd just given Seulgi. Maybe Wendy was wrong. Maybe Irene wasn't going to break up with her boyfriend. 

But then why did Irene look so... bothered? Was that the word?

Wendy didn't know how to interpret Irene's behavior. Maybe that meant Wendy should stop trying. 

"Unnie," Yeri said, prodding Wendy's shoulder with the end of a fork. "Can I have your chicken?"

"Yeah, go ahead," Wendy said absentmindedly.

"Don't mind if I do." Yeri stabbed the chicken and brought it to her own tray, cutting it up and happily stuffing as Joy reached over to sneak a piece for herself, which she kindly split with Sungjae. He obediently opened his mouth and allowed Joy to feed him. Yeri looked on disapprovingly. Disgustingly cute.

Wendy wondered if she should just ask Irene, but at the same time, wouldn't Irene have told her if she was ready? Wendy watched Irene's hand attach itself to Bo Gum's arm, Irene's mouth opening wide in raucous laughter at one of Bo Gum's -- in Wendy's opinion -- lame jokes. Sometimes, he was funny. Wendy would give him that. Most of the time, though, Wendy could get better jokes from a rock. Good thing Bo Gum had other things to make him appealing. Wendy didn't really get why Irene was laughing at some dumb joke that was maybe about shopping carts. (Wendy was not paying attention.)

Love just does that to you sometimes. Makes you love everything and anything about someone.

So, Wendy concluded, Irene loved Bo Gum. She laughed at his dumb jokes and touched his arm, smiling wide for his ego.

Wendy still couldn't shake the feeling that it was fake.

Irene was overcompensating, wasn't she? Putting up a front? Or maybe Wendy had just never noticed how touchy and laughy she was with Bo Gum? Maybe Wendy had just been living under a rock?

Conclusion unconcluded. Wendy needed to investigate.

"We... We're okay, right?"

Seulgi was standing by Irene's locker, dressed in her basketball uniform. Her hair was tied up in a ponytail, neatly pulled back and leaving her cheeks on display. Seulgi wore a black compression shirt and sleeves with elbow pads along with her maroon uniform shirt. Her shorts reached above knee length, the rest of her legs covered down to mid-shin by kneepads. Seulgi was clumsy and needed all the protection she could get. She leaned against the lockers and tapped the toe of her shoe restlessly against the floor.

"Yeah," Irene said without looking. "Of course."

"Are you sure?"

"Why wouldn't we be okay?" Irene faced Seulgi now with a confused expression on her face. Something about it made Seulgi's anger bubble.

"What do you mean 'why wouldn't we be okay?'" Seulgi was fuming, but she was trying not to let it show. "You practically slapped my hand away when I was trying to wipe the milk from your chin."

Irene broke eye contact and began tying her shoes. "Startled me. That's all."

"No, it's not, Irene."

"Yes, it is, Seul."

"Did I do something?"

"Seulgi, please," Irene said, closing her locker with a sigh before turning to see Seulgi's downcast expression. Irene's heart physically hurt at the sight, but she couldn't bring herself to explain. "There are things I can't tell you."

"Can't tell me," Seulgi repeated.

"Yes. Please don't ask, okay?" Irene gave Seulgi's hand a squeeze. "Please?"

"Okay," Seulgi reluctantly said. She obviously wanted to know what was bothering Irene, but she wasn't going to pry. Irene's business was Irene's business. No one else's.

"Thanks, Seul."

Irene gave Seulgi a hug, breathing in Seulgi's signature scent and feeling the fabric of Seulgi's uniform underneath her fingertips. Irene never wanted to let go. Seulgi was so warm and comforting. Irene breathed a sigh of relief upon feeling Seulgi's arms draped over her shoulders, strong and secure. There were so many things Irene wanted to say, none of which she actually could say.

Coward.

"Seul- Oh, hi, Irene."

"YooA! Hey." Seulgi extracted herself from Irene's grip to please her tense girlfriend. YooA's sullen look did not go unnoticed.

"Your teammates were wondering where you were," YooA said to Seulgi, casting a sideways glance Irene's way. Irene pursed her lips and faced the other way, pretending to fiddle with her already-tied shoelaces.

"I'll be out, soon. Promise." Seulgi kissed YooA's cheek, lingering a tad too long for Irene's liking. Irene, of course, had snuck a glance. "Cheer for me from the stands, okay, baby?"

YooA tilted her head endearingly, patting the sides of Seulgi's collar down and smoothening out the uniform. She exhaled and pulled Seulgi down for an actual kiss.

"YooA..." Seulgi moved her head to the side, YooA's lips landing on her cheek, and pointed a thumb at Irene.

"Fine," YooA said after a moment. "I'll see you after the game. Plenty of time for kisses then."

"Lots," promised Seulgi.

Once YooA left, Irene finally stood up from where she had knelt tying and untying her shoes. "She didn't sound happy."

"You heard, huh?"

"Hard not to when I'm right here."

"Yeah, sorry about that."

"Hey, don't be sorry. Really, Seul. Don't be sorry. There's nothing to be sorry about." Irene stepped closer to Seulgi, who was pushing stray strands of hair out of her face. "You should've just kissed her."

"But..."

"If you're worried about me, don't be. It doesn't bother me."

On the contrary, it really did.

"Okay. If you say so." Seulgi didn't look or sound convinced.

"Your team is probably having a huddle right now, and you definitely don't have to keep me company any longer to calm my nerves. You'll be late."

"I can be late," Seulgi said quickly. "You're important to me, too. You and basketball."

"Ha, ha, Seulgi. Now go. Your teammates are already out there."

"Okay, okay. I'll go." Seulgi dashed and disappeared around the corner before racing back to peak out from behind a wall. "Good luck cheering your first game, Irene."

"And good luck on your first game of the season, Seul."

Seulgi grinned widely at that, and Irene could hear the thumping of Seulgi's basketball sneakers on the floor as she sprint