I walked nervously towards Jisoo-unnie, and asked her for my phone.

“Unnie, I have to...I have to contact my mother, please”, I said. I secretly hoped that she would just laugh it off when she saw my fanfic tab. I thought that she would definitely saw the tab, there was impossible for her not to see the tab because it was still open.

“Oh…okay”, said Jisoo-unnie averting her eyes from me. My chest bounced off the chest, yo. I was really sure that she’d begun to see me as some weirdo lesbian creep or something. I was down as Jisoo-unnie started to walk towards her bed and played some game. Silence engulfed the room in a painful awkwardness, I walked to my bed and pretended to call my Mom. I was a full-fledged weirdo at that time.

“Why didn’t she answer?”, I faked it to break the ice and failed to do so.

“Hmm?”, Jisoo-unnie just said that with an uninterested tone.

Then I just scrolled up and scrolled down, did nothing. I was panicking and I was trying to calm my down. Sweat started to roll down my cheek. The silence was painful for it lasted for almost fifteen minutes.

Then suddenly Jisoo-unnie said,

“Hey Jennie”, She said.

“Yeah?”, I said while taking a glance at her.

“Come ‘ere”, She said.

I was surprised after hearing that. I put my phone on the bed faced down, slowly walked towards Jisoo-unnie’s bed, and laid beside her. Her hair smelled very nice, I would burrow my face in her hair and die peacefully. The thing that surprised me was, she wasn’t playing games, she was surfing around the fanfic site where I occasionally read some fanfics.

“So this is what’s waiting for us, huh?”, she said with her eyes focused on her phone. I suddenly got a brilliant idea to use it as my excuse.

“Yeah, I was kinda researching….”, I took a breath to show that I was calm and uninterested.

“...what the fans would like to see in their idols relationship and so on”, I finished it with a flat note.

Jisoo didn’t reply and just focused on the screen. Her lips are pouted when she’s focusing. So cute. Her front hair was tied into some kind of bun, also very cute. I was gazing at her fiercely when she suddenly looked at me with a mischievous smile,

“What did you read?”, She asked with her face slightly flustered.

I was shocked.

“No, I didn’t read it, I just… I just scrolled down really fast and scanned the whole text”, I panicked and said all of that excuses.

“Yeah…, but what did you scan?”, she asked.

“…I’m kinda curious”, she said.

My heart was pumping blood like there is no tomorrow. I grabbed her phone and wrote ‘TaeNy’ in the search box.

“TaeNy? SNSD-sunbaenim?”, She asked.

I nodded, then I gave her the phone, but it was in English and Jisoo-unnie asked me to translate some of the words that she didn’t know. She was good at English, but I think she was still learning and still didn’t get the big idea in speaking English.

The story was rated M, so I told her beforehand that it was gonna get steamy and sh*t.

“Hahah, you like this kind of thing eh, Jendeuk?”, she jokingly said to me and I was denying it so bad that I started to mumble some damn excuses that made no sense that even Jisoo-unnie didn’t want to hear it and stamped me as a weirdo, jokingly though.

To heal my panic attack, I grabbed my phone and laid on my bed, but Jisoo-unnie asked me to lay beside her. I played it cool and lay beside her. I started to search on some high taste art and science article(even though I didn’t understand anything) to wash away the weirdo image off of me.

Jisoo-unnie looked so serious when she read the fanfic, I could see that the part that she was reading is coming into that steamy scene. Her face was starting to turn red.

“You like it, eh?”, I .

She ignored me and searched another story. I continued my bullsh*t studying with no interest at all. I was interested in Jisoo-unnie’s reaction, so I put down my phone and read the fanfic together.

It was a story, a fictional story with TaeNy characters inside of it. It was a one-shot. The story ended with a happy ending where Taeyeon-sunbae gets to kiss Tiffany-sunbae in a very romantic scene. After that Jisoo-unnie dropped her phone.

“Wow”, she said with a red face.

“Haha, your face is red”, I said to her.

“Fans power”, she said trying to break the awkwardness away.

“Yeah, I researched that fans like that kind of relationship happening with their idols, but rarely with different ”, I drew the scholar out of my brain and started talking excuses as if it was scientific research.

“But the kiss scene was very well described”, Jisoo-unnie hesitantly stated.

I laughed at her to transfer my weirdo stamp onto her.

“It made me curious…”, Jisoo-unnie stated in a low voice.

“…have you kissed before Jennie?”, she asked me out of the blue.

I swear my heart ran off my chest and went home to its family.

“…no”, I answered looking at her.

Jisoo-unnie didn’t reply. Instead, she started to stare at me with that puppy eyes as if she was demanding something from me. Our faces were quite close, when she averted her eyes down, it felt like she was saying to me, “It’s okay, Jen”, then she stared at me again with needy eyes. I could see very well from that distance, her heart-shaped lips that I've always adored since forever, her beautiful eyes, strands of hair fell down to her face, and I could hear her breathing fast but quietly.

We stared at each other for a long time. I didn’t know what she was thinking, but I had the feeling that I have to do it. I have to try it at least.

I took a deep breath.

.

.