The room suddenly became uncomfortably quiet and it took Hongseok some time to realize that everyone was staring at him. When did they see what was going on? He didn't want to look at them but curiosity got the best of him and he slowly checked their expressions. What he saw in their eyes... it would be better if he didn't.

They all looked at him in disgust, trying to cover themselves up even if just moments ago they didn't seem to care. Hongseok opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out. Nothing. He wanted to say something, to explain, to beg his friends not to leave him and to understand him. He wanted to tell them his story, to do something, anything but at that moment it seemed like he lost his ability to speak.

A loud noise interrupted him and Hongseok's eyes snapped open. He was breathing hard, his whole body covered in sweat,  shaking uncontrollably. He ran fingers through his damp hair as he slowly sat up, a troubled sigh leaving his lips. So it was all just a nightmare...

- - - - -

Few days passed by and Hongseok couldn't stop thinking about the nightmare he had. It all seemed very real like it really happened and it made him become uneasy while being around his friends. He tried not to let it show, he tried his best to act normal but whenever he would look at them, he would remember the look of disgust they had in his nightmare while looking at him. That's how he slowly started drifting away from them.

At first, he would politely refuse to show up at their gatherings, always coming up with a different kind of excuse. He would ignore their messages until they called and even then he would pick up his phone with a heavy heart, thinking of yet another lie so he wouldn't have to face them. Hongseok wanted to see them, he really wanted to but he didn't want to constantly be reminded of what would happen if he came out to them. It's safer this way, he tried to convince himself, knowing that either way, he was going to lose them.

After some time the calls stopped coming, messages would rarely lit up his phone and soon he was left alone. That was what he wanted, wasn't it? He wanted to get away from them.

But why did it hurt so much?

- - - - -

It was like his life suddenly stopped.

What was he without them? It seemed like he was just an empty shell, unable to do anything. He would stay at home and only go out when he needed to buy something, avoiding places where he could see them on purpose. But sometimes, he would try to track them down, just to catch a glimpse of his friends only to be left disappointed when he couldn't find them.

Slowly, he started to drown in his own despair. He missed them, he wanted to joke around them and forget about everything but whenever he would pick up his phone to give them a call, the images from that nightmare would flash in his mind and he would quickly toss it away, fear running through him. He was afraid.

- - - - -

"What the is wrong with you?" It was Hui, standing in front of his door, looking angry and disappointed in a way. "You look like a mess. And you look thinner than the last time I saw you. Are you even eating properly? Are you sick?" A hand came up to check up his forehead but Hongseok instinctively flinched, earning a disapproving grunt from the other male. "Hongseok. What is going on? You keep on avoiding us. Did we do something wrong?" The older male asked, worry obvious in his tone. Hongseok was tired and he was sure that he looked like a complete mess right now. It was a mistake to open the door without checking who it was but instead of slamming them shut and running away he stayed, trying to face his friend. "I guess. I'm not feeling very well lately." Someone would say that it was a lie but Hongseok would beg to differ. He didn't lie because he really did felt awful but he wasn't sick in a way Hui suggested. It was different kind of sickness, the one he wished he didn't have.

A hand pushed him back into his apartment and he stumbled back, eyes widening slightly only to see Hui smiling back at him in acomplishment as he stepped inside and closed the door. "Woah. That never happened before. Did I become stronger?" He joked as he grabbed Hangseok's hand and made his way through the small hallway and into the kitchen, dragging him along. "Come on, I'll make you something to eat. You go rest on the couch or something." The older male suggested and the only thing Hongseok could do was to nod weakly as he dragged his body to the couch to lay on it, too tired to object.

What is he going to do now? Should he at least tell Hui? The other male was like a leader to them, taking care of the group of friends in a weird but the only way he knew. Maybe he will be understanding? But then again, maybe he won't.

It was weird, wasn't it? They were all so close and yet Hangseok couldn't predict how his friends would react if he ever told them. Would they really be shocked and disgusted? Or would they be supportive  and about it? Thinking about them joking around him made him hopefull and he the couch in an attempt to find a better position, small smile on his lips.

Perhaps he shouldn't think so much about it...