“Chorong…”

It was his voice again. His pained, desperate voice. Chorong knew she’d be up soon, it’s always like this whenever she wakes up from her sleep; a disembodied voice calling out to her. As much as she wanted to answer, she knew there’s no use to that; there’s no one there. Sure enough, she woke up in an empty room a few seconds before her alarm went off.

She was tired from her first day but couldn’t complain, not that she wanted to anyway. She had fun at the café-restaurant hybrid. It was very familiar, almost felt like home – and she doesn’t even have a clue where home is. Still, Bomi was right, the job was a good deal. Bomi. Chorong thought of thanking the girl again for saving her life yet again. She wanted to wait for her last night but after running around the kitchen all day, she couldn’t put herself to it. After all, Bomi did tell her not to wait. After making up her mind and freshening up, she headed out to make breakfast.

Everything was set when Bomi came out of her room. Chorong couldn’t help but notice the poor girl’s puffy bloodshot eyes. She was all sorts of messy, just throw bloodstained, tattered clothes on her and she could pass for a zombie. A pretty zombie, at least. I wouldn’t mind getting bitten by her. Chorong shook her head rather violently. Woah, where did that come from? Is it that time of the month? She must have looked troubled because not a moment sooner, Bomi brought her back from her thoughts.

 “Are you okay?” Bomi asked as she sat down across Chorong.

“Huh? Oh. Yeah. I should be the one asking you that though. You look awful!” Awfully cute. She suddenly turned her back from Bomi. Yah! Stop it! She’s a woman! And a married woman at that! Reminding herself with a nod.

Heol. Do I really look horrible that she couldn’t even look at me? Bomi then tried and failed to fix her hair which was tangled here and there, sticking out all over the place. “I wasn’t able to sleep well last night.” Because she actually just got in two hours ago. “Aren’t you having breakfast with me?”

“In a minute.” She’s stalling, pretending to look for something just so she wouldn’t look so flushed. When she felt her cheeks cool down, she took her seat. Well that was useless. She felt herself turning red again so she dropped her gaze in defeat.

“Are you sure you’re okay? You look flushed.” She reached across to feel Chorong’s forehead. “Feeling sick? You can skip work today. Let me just make a call –”

“I’m fine.” The older girl snapped as she brushed away Bomi’s hand. The startled look on the younger one’s face told her that she’d been too harsh. “I’m sorry. I’m just a little tired. Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine.” Placing her hand on Bomi’s and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

No. Not this too. “I- I just thought you might’ve been overwhelmed from yesterday.” She gently withdrew her hand from Chorong’s. “If you need to cutback a few hours, just tell me.”

“N- No, I’m really okay.” What was that about? She slowly withdrew her hand as well, feeling a bit embarrassed. Did I do something again? Why does this keep happening? One minute we’re doing fine, then she’d be all distant and indifferent. I didn’t like having skinship because it makes me feel all sorts of weird – in a good way – but I’m not repulsed by it. Is it because she’s married? But it didn’t mean anything. There was nothing she could do but heave a sigh. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to.”

“There’s nothing to apologize for. Thank you for the breakfast.” She didn’t mean to be rude or sound cold, but the pain in Chorong’s eyes told her it was too late. She couldn’t deny that the sight was painful for her too, but what could she do? She’s not even sure about what she’s feeling, especially towards the girl. Stealing a glance at Chorong, she noticed that her eyes were quickly filling up to the brim. She panicked. “Hey unnie, I’ll do the dishes when you finish up so you can go ahead and get ready. I’ll drop you off to work today.” She cautiously put up a smile. She was honestly concerned, but she just couldn’t find it in her to let her guard down.

“O-Oh. Y-you don’t have too. I could walk to work. The fresh air in the morning is good for the body anyway.” She returned a weary smile.

“I’ll walk with you then.” Bomi chirped.

“W- What?” This girl’s mood swings are unbelievable. Is it her time of the month too?

“Well, you just said fresh air in the morning is good. Don’t you think I need that too? And you did say I look awful. Maybe that’s all I need, yeah?” Ending her case with a smirk. Pabomi, you’re in trouble. No matter how she looked at it, all she wanted to do was make this girl happy without asking for anything in return. The unfamiliar feeling surfaced naturally, it’s as if she was meant to do exactly that.

Well played, Bomi-yah. You’re good. “Alright then. Suit yourself.” She shrugged and went ahead to get ready.

A few minutes later, they’re out for their morning walk. They took their time on the street in silence. It wasn’t fun, but at least it wasn’t awkward. It’s like both of them were busy with their own thoughts.

Bomi has been watching Chorong the whole time, stealing glances minute after minute. She could tell by the way Chorong and bites her lip that the older girl was lost in her own bubble. She found it so… endearing. And it’s goddamn y. Bomi froze. She didn’t know what the hell that was and what it was doing in her mind but she couldn’t shake it off. Suddenly, stealing subtle glances weren’t enough anymore.

After a few paces, Chorong realized that Bomi stopped in her tracks. “You okay? You look pale.” She rushed to the younger one’s side. “You shouldn’t have walked with me. You needed rest.” Without a second to spare, she wrapped her arm around Bomi’s waist. To support her weight so she won’t fall. Although Chorong knew she wasn’t going to fool anyone with that lame excuse, she’s honestly really worried though. “Come on, it’s just a block away now.” Urging Bomi to continue walking. Having her arms on Bomi made it easier for her to have an overdose of the young girl’s scent. It was her new-found high, and she’s starting to get hooked. What the hell. It’s as if her frequent glances at me is not nerve-racking enough.

Bomi just hoped that she would remain pale through the rest of the way, but with the older one’s arm wrapped tightly around her waist, keeping herself from blushing is nothing more than wishful thinking. You’ve mastered self-control after all these years, what are you doing throwing it out the window?! She’s losing it. This girl is tearing her walls down brick by brick.

As soon as they stepped inside the café, Bomi rushed to the powder room and splashed cold water on her face to cool her down. She stared at her reflection as she tried to compose herself. This is not right, Hani wouldn’t want this. After all these years, she still refused to let go of everything she and her wife had, and all the pain that came with it. During the first few months leading to a year, her friends understood what she’s going through; but as time passed by, they sta