A/n: it took me around 2 weeks to write this one shot its gonna be a multi shots i think but whatever. I tried to be as accurate as possible to the original timeline. I'd really appreciate it if you guys can comment your thoughts on this one, tell me what you think i receive constructive criticism and like idk comments make my day. Also if u have any idea for the next chapter pls put it down below too :) have a good day hope u enjoy it.

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Wake up and smell the coffee
Is your cup half full or empty?

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In the days nearing the end of December, of nearing the end of 2018, we could see two figures huddled together near the fireplace of their dorm with a cup of hot chocolate in hand. Words were not exchanged as they both stared outside the window looking at the first snow fall. Tranquillity painted the scene in pretence calmness, one heart was getting distant and the other was not even aware of the occurrence. Growing lonelier and cold as the moment passed, for she was unable to fully open her heart to the world, to the person right beside her.

'What is it that make you believe its me?'

That kind of thought came more often than she liked to admit. But the faux mask of happiness she long had on never really gave a choice for her to speak the truth, the bitter words of those insecurities and hatred. Positivity was key to everything, her tired mind didn't have any energy left to believe otherwise. The burden of being happy, of being true was sometimes to much to bear for her worn down body. The eyebags, hollowed cheeks and slumped shoulder said so. It had gotten so hard to the point where even letting out a small sigh needed more effort than lying.

She was not and will never be a perfect being, that much could be said about her, about Lisa, the idol so many people looked up to. The ever so kind BLACKPINK member who was born in a small country called Thailand. What could she do? She never knew, never guessed, until it all played out for her. Passing through the audition, being a trainee, and now a member of a successful k-pop girl group.

'What can a poor ol' Lisa can do?'

A pity party, something she disliked greatly yet couldn't help but experienced it more times than not. She got everything didn't she? A wonderful family, 3 best friends/ sisters, and a beautiful and understanding girlfriend whom she daresay was a wondrous gift for her feeble self. She struggled to understand and Jennie would always be there to explain everything to her, slowly not even missing a single word. Jennie was always so perfect that at times Lisa felt like she couldn't catch up. Because she was always standing on the edge, always trying so ing hard to at least get a grip on her barely put together persona. Lisa didn't have anything left to give, for she was afraid that maybe even her best was just not enough, not that she even showed all those thorns to anyone. They never really knew her, because she never tried to spread her wings, her beautiful wings that laid frail from years of being unused.

As if noticing the dark turn her mind was going, a soft squeeze greeted her rough ones. The dainty hands seemingly pure from all that was bad and evil of this world. Delicately soothing the numerous worries plaguing her mind.

She turned her head to face the cat like eyes staring back at her. She smiled, a genuine one, not big enough to show her teeth but gentle in her own fashion, grateful. And somehow,

it felt like enough.

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A kind of quietness surrounded them, Jennie missed it so much. With all the things happening, their Asia tour and hectic schedules, it was bordering on being straight up chaotic. This lulling silence was a welcomed change. A warm cup of hot chocolate in hand and the warmth of their body curled up to each other combined with the comfortable weight of Lisa's head resting on her chest as she ran her fingers through her ash brown hair. She decided, there was nowhere else she would rather be.

Jennie never questioned Lisa's feelings for her. It was obvious from the "sneaky" glances Lisa threw her when she wasn't looking. She noticed of course but she pretended not to so as to not wound Lisa's pride of being a ninja.

'Ninja my ...'

She was well aware of the fact that Lisa wasn't what she wanted others to believe she was. The nearly invisible lines of worries that marred her face, the slightly crooked smile she had when she was tired, and her weary eyes. She saw it all, every each one of it. On days when it was especially bad for the younger girl, Jennie tried not to stray too far. Tender touch of her lips as she kissed each one of her knuckles, trying her best to convey her support.

'I'm here...I'm here...'

She tried her best to understand even when it felt almost impossible to understand something you had zero knowledge of.

'I got you...It's okay...'

She had only heard Lisa cried a total of 5 times in the span of years they'd been living together. She had never seen her cry ever, because the younger girl tended to lock herself alone inside her room whenever she felt unhappy. She was always the first one to knock on her door, asking her if she needed anything or if she had eaten lunch yet. She never asked if she was okay or not because lets face it, she was not okay and that's fine. Lisa needed her space and if that was what she needed, then Jennie would give it to her gladly so that Lisa could be okay again.

The tranquil feeling that enveloped the both of them had grown cold just like the untouched cup of chocolate currently held in Lisa's hand. Her girlfriend was lost in thought, and it seemed like these thoughts she was having right now, weren't the ones she hoped Lisa had on peaceful day like this. She squeezed Lisa's right hand softly, praying it would be enough to bring her out of her stupor. Miraculously, her prayer was answered as Lisa responded by gently returning her squeeze.

Jennie might forgot to mention this, but the serene smile that Lisa directed at her after that, had successfully stole her breath away. She swore the gummy smile she had on for the rest of that day had never felt better than this.

'Don't be afraid...I love you...I'm here.'

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Their hushed whispers when the rest of the members were sleeping, dead tired from a long day of practice, continued to be the one thing both of them looked forward to everyday. Even when her eyelids felt heavy with sleep and their conversation sounded a little blurry, falling in and out of sleep trying their best to stay awake to continue their long awaited moments of being on the same bed, cuddling under the warm blanket with Jennie's arms wrapped around her body. Nonsense conspiracies and weird ideas popping every once in a while. She cherished them all as much as Jennie did.

"I think if your hands are rough enough you won't even need to buy a scrubber anymore."

"If our ancestors were Adam and Eve. Jennie are we committing ?"

"Avocados shouldn't be hated on Chaeng."

"Kai is so ugly Jennie. Kuma is definitely winning. I'm sorry."

"Jennie you are a beautiful banana"

"Jen these pillows are so soft."

"Those are my s Lisa"

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When we talk, you say it softly
But I love it when you're awfully quiet

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Often times these softly said words stopped in the middle, and a soft snore followed afterwards. Usually Lisa would be the one to lose the battle with sleep, possibly because she had burnt herself out by being hyper active throughout the day, bickering with Chaeyoung, fighting with dalgom and just being weird with the unnie of the group, Jisoo. The feeling that blanketed them, Jennie had to admit, she loved it a lot. It might sound weird to say but in this kind of peace that she felt in the moment, she was able to think about how lucky they were to have each other. In any ups and downs and awkward situations,