The silence was deafening.

Jiwoo wasn't there anymore.

It was like the sun had gone away, forever to be replaced by dark clouds.

The world has lost its colour.

For Sooyoung, there was no reason to find happiness again. Her happiness left with Jiwoo.

But a month earlier, life was completely normal for Sooyoung.

However, Jiwoo knew she was already dying. She couldn't tell Sooyoung though. She couldn't break Sooyoung's heart like that. She wanted to spend their last month together as happily as possible.

"Sooyoungie! Can we go on a road trip or something with everyone?" Jiwoo asked as she bounced into the room.

"Am I allowed to ask why?" Sooyoung looked up at the younger girl with a smile.

"I just really want to go on a road trip!" Jiwoo said. "Pleeeeaaaase? I asked Haseul about it the other day and she said she'd be up for it!"

"Well... If you want to, then we can. Where are you wanting to go?" Sooyoung asked.

"Busan!"

"Jiwoo, that's on the other side of the country--"

"It's a road trip!" Jiwoo squealed before wiggling over to press kisses all over Sooyoung's face. "It's gonna be so much fun! I'll put a message in the group chat! I hope everyone will be able to come!"

Then Jiwoo bounced out of the room, letting Sooyoung finish what she was reading.

A week later, the road trip was beginning.

Haseul was driving one car with Kahei, Yeojin, and Yerim.

Jungeun was driving another car with Jinsol, Hyunjin, and Heejin.

Sooyoung was driving the final car with Jiwoo, Chaewon, and Hyejoo.

"I'll lead the way." Said Haseul. "Follow my car, you won't be able to lose us, Yeojin made a sparkly sign for the car."

Yeojin was Haseul's little sister and was completely overjoyed about being invited on a road trip. The only reason Yeojin was with Haseul is because Haseul had heard about all the candy Hyunjin and Heejin were taking and she didn't want anyone to have to deal with a hyper Yeojin.

"I'll go after Haseul." Said Jungeun.

Jungeun had only recently got her licence. Nobody else in her car knew how to drive. Jinsol had recently crashed a car on a driving lesson.

"Then I'll go last." Sooyoung said.

"I'll get Kahei to message the group chat when we're stopping for a break, but if anyone needs to stop before that then let us all know so we can stop together. Let's go." Said Haseul.

Everyone piled into the cars and they started driving. Each car had a different playlist for the passengers inside. In Haseul's car, there was a whole Disney themed playlist going on. In Jungeun's car, there was more of an indie vibe going on, and in Sooyoung's car... There was some kind of mess that the four of them had mashed together. Sooyoung liked indie pop and 80s music, Jiwoo liked mainstream pop music along with Chaewon, and Hyejoo liked rock music. So the song could go from something happy and upbeat, to something extremely dark and sad.

Two hours into the road trip, Haseul's car was still a screaming Disney mess, Jungeun's car was now having a heart-to-heart discussion, and Sooyoung's car had gone to sleep.

"So like... Do you think fish feel sad they don't have arms?" Jinsol asked.

"Do you ever feel sad you don't have fins?" Heejin asked.

"Always..." Jinsol mumbled, looking out of the window.

"LOVE IS AN OPEN DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR!" Yeojin and Yerim screamed together.

Kahei covered her ears.

"Okay, even that was too much for me to handle!" Haseul yelled over the screaming and music. "I'm trying to concentrate! Sing a little quieter!"

Sooyoung just kept driving, flicking through the different songs on the playlist until one came on she liked.

She's a maniac, maniac, on the floor, and she's dancing like she's never danced before.

The song reminded Sooyoung of when her and Jiwoo watched Orange Is The New Black together and how Jiwoo had become a flustered mess at the sight of one of the characters younger selves.

"Sooyoung, she's so pretty! I'm having a gay crisis!"

Sooyoung glanced over at Jiwoo who was fast asleep still. Then she looked in the mirror to see Chaewon and Hyejoo cuddled up together, sleeping too.

Another two hours passed before Haseul decided it was time for a break. They reached a place they could take a break. Jungeun almost crashed when she was parking because Jinsol had sneezed and scared her.

" off, Jinsol! That wasn't funny!" Jungeun grumbled.

"Language, Jungeun. There are children." Haseul warned the younger girl.

They all went inside of the service station and went to the bathroom, then went to get something to eat.

"Can I not sit with Jungeun this time?" Yeojin was whining.

Haseul shook her head. "They don't have a Disney playlist in that car."

"But--" Yeojin started.

"You're staying with me. If you left who would Yerim talk to in the back?" Haseul frowned.

They eventually returned to the cars and the journey continued. The Disney screams began, Jinsol asking strange questions continued, and the arguing about what song to play in Sooyoung's car started.

"Can we play something I like?" Jiwoo asked.

"No! I wanna play this song by Dua Lipa Sunbaenim--" Chaewon started.

"You haven't let me listen to anything I like." Hyejoo mumbled.

The arguing continued for a solid five minutes before Sooyoung spoke up.

"Jiwoo, you choose something first. Then Chaewon, then Hyejoo. Take it in turns." Sooyoung said. "I can't focus with all that yelling."

The new system worked well and everyone was happy.

Meanwhile in Jungeun's car, Jinsol was crying.

"You know, I didn't mean to freeze Miss Buttercup to death, but the water must've gotten so cold... And when I woke up the water was frozen and she was dead..." Jinsol sobbed.

"Heejin sat on my hamster once and crushed it." Hyunjin interrupted.

"No I didn't!" Heejin hissed. "That was Yeojin!"

And in Haseul's car, the singing was still going. But Kahei had hijacked the playlist and kept adding random songs.

IIIIIII.... Don't want a lot for Christmas.... There is just one thing I need....

Yeojin and Yerim were screaming with excitement at this point. 

Haseul looked over at Kahei with a puzzled look. "It's not even September yet?"

"I know. I just wanted to hear something else." Kahei said.

They eventually arrived at Busan and went to their hotel rooms. Haseul, Jungeun, and Sooyoung had a nap whilst the others explored the hotel. A few hours later, the whole group went to get dinner somewhere. After a day of travelling, they were all very tired so they decided they wanted an early night, so everyone returned to their hotel rooms after walking around a little and slept all night.

They stayed in Busan for a week, exploring and having fun. One of the best memories that Jiwoo took away from that was when they all went to the beach at night. Everyone was laughing and screaming. Yeojin fell over in the water and Yerim had to go pull her up, but also fell over too. Then Haseul came to the rescue.

The trip to Busan was everything Jiwoo had wanted and more. She made sure everyone had a good time and took away happy memories. 

But when they got back to Seoul, Jiwoo knew her time was limited.

She spent a lot of time resting, making up excuses that she'd had a late night or she was just feeling tired.

But she couldn't lie forever.

Sooyoung had been at college and had returned to their apartment to find Jiwoo, collapsed on the floor.

"Jiwoo!" Sooyoung gasped, running over to crouch next to the small girl. "Jiwoo, can you hear me?"

But Jiwoo was unresponsive.

Sooyoung called an ambulance and they took Jiwoo to the hospital. Sooyoung rode along in the ambulance, calling Haseul to tell her what had happened. And soon enough, everyone was there, waiting for news in the waiting room.

And after four painful hours, a doctor came to them.

"Friends of Kim Jiwoo?" She asked.

The group nodded.

"I'm sorry to tell you this, but Jiwoo is on life support. She's not going to be okay. I think she would like you to be there for her now." The doctor said.

Jungeun instantly broke down. She'd known Jiwoo the longest out of all of them, they'd met when they were just toddlers. Then Yeojin started to cry, and so did Yerim. They'd been close to Jiwoo too, Jiwoo always played with them.

But Sooyoung didn't cry. She couldn't even begin to imagine a world without Jiwoo. This wasn't true.

The doctor lead the group into the room Jiwoo was staying. She was hooked up to a lot of machines and looked to be in a very bad way.

"I'll give you some time with her." The doctor said before leaving.

The group took turns in sitting next to Jiwoo, holding her tiny hands. Some of them talked, some of them cried, some of them just sat in silence, staring at Jiwoo.

When it was Sooyoung's turn, Haseul ushered everyone out of the room.

"I'll keep them outside whilst you have your moment with her. Just tell me when you want them back in." Haseul said with a small smile.

"Thanks..." Sooyoung mumbled before she turned back to Jiwoo.

Sooyoung just watched Jiwoo for a minute, holding her hand.

Then suddenly the tears came.

Everything hit Sooyoung so hard. She was losing Jiwoo. Jiwoo, her girlfriend. Jiwoo, her squeaky puppy. Jiwoo, her best friend. Jiwoo, her soulmate.

Sooyoung began to sob harder.

"Don't go... Please..." Sooyoung whimpered, leaning down to hide her face against Jiwoo's shoulder to muffle her pained sobs. "There was so much we still had to do together... We were supposed to get a hamster this weekend... And get a bigger apartment at some point... And go on a ton of dates... Like the blanket fort one... And to the movies... And the park to see the little squirrels you like so much..."

Sooyoung sat up after a moment, reaching into her pocket with her free hand to pull out a small box. She opened it. Inside was an engagement ring.

"And I was supposed to give you this..." Sooyoung whispered.

Her hands were shaking as she took Jiwoo's fragile hand gently and slipped the ring onto her finger. Then she cried again. She must've cried for an hour before the others came back in with the doctor.

"Sooyoung..." Haseul said quietly, putting her hand on Sooyoung's shoulder. "The doctors think it's time to let her go now."

Sooyoung looked up at Haseul, before closing her eyes tightly and nodding. "R-Right..."

A couple of doctors came into the room and everyone held Jiwoo's hands one last time before Jungeun sat on one side and Sooyoung sat on the other, holding her hands on either side. The doctors turned the life support machine off, and Jiwoo's weak body finally gave up. She was gone.

At that point, the room was filled with sobs from everyone. Chaewon was clinging onto Hyejoo, crying into the tall girl's neck. Haseul and Kahei were holding each other's hands tightly, trying to keep it together but failing. Jinsol had gone to Jungeun's side and Jungeun had her face pressed against Jinsol's stomach as sobs wracked her body. Yerim and Yeojin were stood in the corner, holding onto each other for dear life. Heejin and Hyunjin were doing the same. But Sooyoung hadn't let go of Jiwoo's hand. She was just sitting there sobbing.

After twenty minutes, they had to go. The doctor came to explain to them.

"Jiwoo was very sick. She had a bad illness. By the look on your faces, I presume she didn't tell any of you. There is no cure for what she had. I'm so sorry for your loss." The doctor said.

The group went back to Haseul and Kahei's house. Nobody spoke for a long time. They were just sitting in silence in the living room. That was until Yeojin spoke up.

"D...Do you think Jiwoo wanted us to go to Busan because she knew she was dying? Maybe she wanted to have one last happy memory of us... Maybe that's what she wanted us to remember when we're sad..." Yeojin said quietly.

And suddenly, everything made sense.

Jiwoo had been sick but didn't tell any of them because she didn't want them to mourn her before she was gone. She wanted them to have happy memories of Jiwoo, not memories of Jiwoo taking pills every day to numb the pain and keep the illness at bay. Jiwoo wanted them to have a lasting memory of her.

The road trip was because Jiwoo was dying. It was her last chance to spend time with everyone.

Sooyoung stayed on Haseul and Kahei's couch for a week. But she hardly slept. She just stayed awake, sometimes watching TV, but mostly just staring into space, trying to think of a way to live without Jiwoo.

She had no answers yet.

But eventually, Sooyoung had to go home.

The apartment was silent. The worst kind of silent. The deafening kind. Everywhere Sooyoung looked there were memories of Jiwoo. The pink pen on the table, that was Jiwoo's favourite pen. The penguin and the swan plushies together in the window. Jiwoo had got those because she said Sooyoung was majestic like a swan and she was a little penguin.

But the worst thing about the apartment was that it still smelled like Jiwoo. Her clothes were everywhere. Her side of the bed was still messy and her pyjamas were still there where she'd left them. An outfit Jiwoo had laid out to wear the next day was still on a chair in the bedroom.

Jiwoo was everywhere.

And all Sooyoung wanted to do was hold her.

But she couldn't, because Jiwoo wasn't there.

It never got easier for Sooyoung. The others, although still hurting, managed to continue with their lives. They went back to their jobs or back to school. But Sooyoung didn't know if she could. She couldn't face walking into her apartment every day for it to be empty. Sooyoung couldn't walk past the bakery on the way home from college, because that was where Jiwoo's favourite cakes were made and Sooyoung always brought her one home. Sooyoung couldn't even sleep in her own room.

Losing your soulmate is the worst thing that can happen to someone.

It's like living without oxygen. It's impossible.

And Sooyoung couldn't go on for much longer.