Just a Prequel of Junhwan

Jinhwan always wondered how it felt like to be in a relationship. Was it as magical as portrayed in books and films? Or, was it as tormenting as his parents, who got divorced in his first year of high school?

Jinhwan was in his third year of medical school, yet he still had not dated once. Seeing Bobby, who always had a way with the ladies, having all of the girls in college all over him made him more envious than ever, as Bobby was not only nourished with love; he was also desired by many. It was not like Jinhwan had no pursuers; it was just that the ones he took an interest in never had their eyes on them and the one he loved never saw him in that light. Sometimes, he thought that the universe was against him as every time he wanted to confess his love to the one person that only saw him as a friend, he always happened to have someone else in mind.

Yesterday was no exception. While they were walking, side by side, along the harbourfront near their dorm, Jinhwan had the urge to confess as he was mesmerised by the way the person next to him spoke and the charisma he exuded.

‘Jinhwan hyung, you know who Mino is, right? He's like the hottest guy in the Business school.’ The person next to Jinhwan said as he shifted his gaze to Jinhwan from the glimmering sea.

This sentence alone was enough to crush Jinhwan. Once again, he was proved to be not enough for June, who he had developed feelings for since high school.

‘Um...Yeah! Who doesn't know Mino? He's so handsome and popular,’ answered Jinhwan, putting up a forceful smile.

‘I'm glad that you like him cuz we’ve just gone official.’ June said with a big wide grin plastered on his face.

‘June ah, you don't need my approval to date. You're a big boy,’ replied Jinhwan forcefully.

‘Of course I do! You're family to me!’ exclaimed June, putting his arm on Jinhwan’s shoulder.

Yes, Jinhwan would always and only be an older brother to June, but nothing more. If Jinhwan could choose a superpower, he would definitely choose one that enabled him to control his own feelings. With that, he would not have to suffer again and again from the wrath of unreciprocated love. If he could to choose who to love, he would choose June again as it had already become a habit for Jinhwan to look after June from behind secretly. Of course, he wanted June to be happy, even if he was not the reason of his happiness. However, sometimes he wished that June could stop flirting with or dating random people in school for the thrill and notice him who had been there the whole time watching out for him.

As expected, June broke up with Mino in two weeks’ time on the grounds that they were very incompatible and had trouble understanding each other. Breaking up and getting into dating right after seemed to be June’s routine after breaking up with Jisoo, who was his first love. Jinhwan could still remember that evening where June barged into his shared room with Bobby, with tears streaked across his face, throwing himself into his embrace. That was the only time June had opened up about the feelings that he had bottled up since he left home.

That was the time when Jinhwan finally found hope in finding his happiness. For years, Jinhwan and Bobby only knew that June left home and hated talking about his biological family, yet they did not know why. Under the influence of alcohol, June seemed more willing to talk about his past and reveal the reason why he left home. The truth was that June did not leave home voluntarily; he was kicked out by his family. From a young age, June had already had trouble coming to terms with his uality as his parents had always told him that his goal in life was to study hard, then get a good job and marry a girl, and start a family. He had never thought otherwise. Yet, when his parents introduced Jisoo, who was a family friend, to him and played Cupid for them, he started to question if he actually liked girls. He found Jisoo pretty, yet he would much rather date the hot guy next door. So, June decided to break things off with Jisoo before it got serious between them. Being a Mama’s boy, he told his mother about his plan and revealed to her that he was not into girls, but the other . Thinking that his mother would accept him as he was, he continued telling her how he found out about his uality. Without any signs of hesitation, his mother gave him the cruel choice between staying with them or breaking up with Jisoo. June did not know what he was getting himself into and went for the former choice.

For months, he had acted as a loving boyfriend to Jisoo, yet it only made him realise that there was no way he was into girls and that he loved Jisoo, but in a completely platonic way. Some would say that June was reckless, yet some would compliment him for being courageous. June did not think twice and broke up with Jisoo, blatantly telling her the truth that he swung the other way. Surprisingly, Jisoo took it well and gave him her blessings. Without Jisoo, June would not be able to embrace his true self and flourish as himself with no fabrication. This also meant that June would no longer be welcomed at home. After rounds of arguments, his family threw his stuff out of the house and told him not to return unless he had set his mindset right. June felt very sad about that, yet he knew that he had his life to lead and no one could get in the way of his journey of love. If his parents truly loved him, they would have accepted him as he was, gay or straight.

After June's sudden outburst, Jinhwan and June seemed to have got closer with each other than ever, as this was what Jinhwan could relate to as well. Jinhwan was just like June, kicked out by his own parents just because of whom he loved. He knew that it was going to be difficult for them to find love without getting judged in this conservative country, yet they were not going to back down they had already sacrificed so much and gone so far.

Despite how hard Jinhwan tried, June seemed to be oblivious of his feelings, unintentionally rubbing in his face that he was constantly dating someone. Sometimes, even Bobby got involved in their relationship by insinuating to June that there were other people around him, not only those who were jocks or baseball clubs players, who were eligible for him. However, as slow as a log June waa, he would never notice Jinhwan's feelings towards him.

Was Jinhwan happy? No. However, he was willing to wait until June saw his love for him since he had already been there for years and would not mind waiting for another few.