VI.

What Donghae feels within himself after leaving Hyukjae is a void. He doesn’t believe there’s anyone or anything else that could save him from all this, because he doesn’t even believe in love anymore. Who Donghae craves for is Hyukjae. Who Donghae craves for isn’t Siwon.

Donghae gets in the car, he fastens his seatbelt and he thinks of Hyukjae. Of all of their kisses, of all of their laughs, of all of their hugs. He can erase the traces of tears, but he can’t erase the traces of pain. He’s guilty of treason, because Donghae has just betrayed Hyukjae with Siwon through that kiss. This is infidelity.

Why can’t Hyukjae just fall in love with Donghae? Because without love there’s nothing and no one that’s worth to fight for. Donghae doesn’t want to keep on fighting for Hyukjae.

He opens the dashboard, he pulls out some tissues and he passes them on his cheeks. He observes the way in which the paper, so thin and so white, it gets impregnated with the amount of liquid.

And, all of a sudden, he realizes that he has just left him. Donghae has just left Hyukjae. It shocks him. He can’t acknowledge the fact that it’s over between them. He tries to recollects himself.

His phone vibrates. He grabs it, he reads the name on the screen and he smiles. He picks up the call. Donghae really needs Siwon. He can’t have Hyukjae, but at least he can have Siwon. He doesn’t want to be lonely anymore.

They talk to each other. Donghae decides to tell Siwon all of the story including every single detail. He trusts him very much. Donghae really trusts S