III.

Donghae closes the knob of the shower just to turn to Siwon. They stare at each other for a while. They’re doing it without words. It’s as if they don’t even need any of them. Not here, not among them, not now. They’re still . Donghae stands in front of Siwon.

“Why were you crying?” this is Siwon’s question.

“I wasn’t crying” this is Donghae’s answer.

Donghae is lying to Siwon: they both know it.

He’s shaken by a series of shivers. He feels so angry, so upset, so empty. He hates himself. What he has just done is so wrong: it’s wrong for Hyukjae, it’s wrong for himself, it’s wrong for Siwon. It’s wrong for all of them.

He looks down, he moves to the bench and he grabs the towel. He covers himself. He does it quickly, but the sin is still true and real, he does it fastly. He’s ashamed. He himself is guilty towards Hyukjae, but he himself is also guilty towards Siwon. It’s as if he has betrayed both Hyukjae and Siwon. It’s all his fault, he shouldn’t have done it, it’s all Donghae’s fault.

Donghae has just kissed Siwon. And all of this, more than any other, it’s the one and only truth that counts.

All Donghae can think about is him, of how much he’s in love with him, of Hyukjae. But what if Hyukjae doesn’t love Donghae back?

Donghae notices a missed call by Hyukjae. It’s making him feel even worse.

How could Donghae do all of this to Hyukjae?

“Why were you crying?” Siwon asks Donghae again.

“I wasn’t crying” Dong