2. Chapter

Heartbroken
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II. 

 

Taemin is crying and shaking uncontrollably in front of Kibum. He can’t restrain himself after what has just happened between them. It makes him suffer very much: it's haunting him like a predator with its prey. It's because for an instant Taemin has really been scared of Kibum.

Kibum erases every trace of the salty and shiny tears that are streaming down the pretty face of Taemin. He passes a thumb all over on his cheeks to cancel them. He surrounds him in a protective hug in order to keep him safe. But, even if the embrace in which he’s holding him is sweet, authentic and gente, it doesn’t make him feel lesser guilty for what he has just done to him. He has no excuse. Is he turning into a monster?

“What can I do for you?” Taemin asks Kibum as he backs off, doing it just enough to be able to look firmly into his eyes.

Taemin is desperate for Kibum. He wants him to be happy again. 

“Can you make me forget about it?” Kibum asks Taemin as he leans over him, doing it just enough to be able to kiss softly his forehead.

Kibum is desperate for Jonghyun. He wants himself to be happy again. 

And, all of a sudden, Taemin might know how to fix Kibum. He can give himself to him. He can give him his own body, his own heart, his own soul. He can give all of himself to him. He has always been in love with him. He isn’t willing to hold himself back anymore.

He undresses himself and, wh

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Salade2fruits #1
Chapter 6: Chapter 6: To be honest, I didn't expected that at all. I'd think their relationship will go more slowly. However, I could really feel the atmosphere, it was sad and dark in my mind, but it's logical since we know the context of their relationship. Your way of writing is pretty interesting, we can really feel their emotions I really like it. At the same time, I love how you repeat sentences and how it's "jerky" in a good way. I've never read stories like that. I agree with Lock_et about the fact that I think I'd have prefered if the plot wouldn't have been developed so fast but at the same time, I think it's thanks to that that your story goes "smootlhy" in a way (I know it's weird that I said that since I said the plot was going really fast but at the same time it's logical and we could feel all the tense atmosphere and their emotions, that's why we can say it goes smoothly in a way). I also agree concerning Taemin's feelings (concerning Lock-et's comment), but I know that you know how much Jonghyun is important to all of them and you've started to talk about Taemin's feelings too in this chapter which I really liked. This chapter was really interesting and we were able to understand even more their feelings. I'm really curious about what will happen in the next chapter. To be honest, I really like Locke_et's idea, I think it will make this story even more real in a way. Of course, the most important is that you are writing what you want, so I'll support you whatever your choice will be. I'm really looking forward to reading the next chapter. Thank you for your hard work.
Lock_et #2
Chapter 5: I like how you repeat sentences and this way highlight its meaning. Your style is so unique but surely enough a little goes a long way and you can read emotions from a couple of words.
The fifth chapter is by far my favourite. In the previous ones the plot developed too fast for my liking, especially while taking under consideration circumstances for both of them (please remember, that Jonghyun wasn't important only for Kibum. It's not criticism, I just feel the story would be far more real if you show how Taemin's torn between romantic love for Kibum and love for Jonghyun that was his brother)
I'm looking forward to next chapter, I hope you'll think about this comment and made this story even better ♡
7yearsoflove #3
Chapter 4: Thank you:)
sherleigh #4
Chapter 4: this is good! i like the complex relationship between kibum and taemin, and the way they both act cruelly and kindly to each other because of their conflicting feelings. you've got a very distinct style too. it's easy to read but it also carries a lot of emotion.

well done! looking forward to more!
Lock_et #5
Chapter 1: I really enjoyed this even though the subject is still sensitive. Please be careful with it.
I'm looking forward to an update!
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