Heartbroken

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Description

[ main KeyTae / side JongKey - Angst, Introspective - Long-fiction ] 

Kibum was in love with Jonghyun. He's suffering the most because of the absence of him. It happens that one night like many others Taemin decides to approach Kibum, but the things get worse between them. Kibum pushes away Taemin. He doesn't want to talk to him, he doesn't want to be with him, he doesn't to look at him. They fight. And, without even realize it, Kibum shows the worst side that harbors within himself. 

Foreword

It's coming soon.

Comments

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Salade2fruits
#1
Chapter 6: Chapter 6: To be honest, I didn't expected that at all. I'd think their relationship will go more slowly. However, I could really feel the atmosphere, it was sad and dark in my mind, but it's logical since we know the context of their relationship. Your way of writing is pretty interesting, we can really feel their emotions I really like it. At the same time, I love how you repeat sentences and how it's "jerky" in a good way. I've never read stories like that. I agree with Lock_et about the fact that I think I'd have prefered if the plot wouldn't have been developed so fast but at the same time, I think it's thanks to that that your story goes "smootlhy" in a way (I know it's weird that I said that since I said the plot was going really fast but at the same time it's logical and we could feel all the tense atmosphere and their emotions, that's why we can say it goes smoothly in a way). I also agree concerning Taemin's feelings (concerning Lock-et's comment), but I know that you know how much Jonghyun is important to all of them and you've started to talk about Taemin's feelings too in this chapter which I really liked. This chapter was really interesting and we were able to understand even more their feelings. I'm really curious about what will happen in the next chapter. To be honest, I really like Locke_et's idea, I think it will make this story even more real in a way. Of course, the most important is that you are writing what you want, so I'll support you whatever your choice will be. I'm really looking forward to reading the next chapter. Thank you for your hard work.
Lock_et #2
Chapter 5: I like how you repeat sentences and this way highlight its meaning. Your style is so unique but surely enough a little goes a long way and you can read emotions from a couple of words.
The fifth chapter is by far my favourite. In the previous ones the plot developed too fast for my liking, especially while taking under consideration circumstances for both of them (please remember, that Jonghyun wasn't important only for Kibum. It's not criticism, I just feel the story would be far more real if you show how Taemin's torn between romantic love for Kibum and love for Jonghyun that was his brother)
I'm looking forward to next chapter, I hope you'll think about this comment and made this story even better ♡
7yearsoflove
#3
Chapter 4: Thank you:)
sherleigh
#4
Chapter 4: this is good! i like the complex relationship between kibum and taemin, and the way they both act cruelly and kindly to each other because of their conflicting feelings. you've got a very distinct style too. it's easy to read but it also carries a lot of emotion.

well done! looking forward to more!
Lock_et #5
Chapter 1: I really enjoyed this even though the subject is still sensitive. Please be careful with it.
I'm looking forward to an update!