Moonbyul and Seulgi burst out into the deserted street, heading back to their apartment. If Seulgi had looked up, she would’ve witnessed the most beautiful sunset she’d seen in at least a month. The sun was threatening to set, hanging lazily just above the horizon. Streaks of gold and brilliant pink puffs of cloud painted the sky into a beautiful picture. But Seulgi’s head felt like it was made out of lead and her ears were clogged up with words she hadn’t said.

As they trudged along, Seulgi fought the urge to look over her shoulder at Gem on Gangnam. She could still feel Joohyun’s eyes lingering over them through the large windows of the bookstore. But she didn’t want to seem as obvious as she probably already had been, thanks to Moonbyul’s blabbering. With a herculean effort, she kept her eyes trained forward on the sidewalk.

The wheels and cogs of Seulgi’s brain were jamming. She’d just spent the past hour and a half talking it up with her crush, who was without the shadow of a doubt, the prettiest girl she’d ever laid eyes on in her entire nineteen years of living. Joohyun’s glittering brown sugar gaze, the long dark chocolate locks that fell below her shoulders, the perfect ratio of her petite features. She had absolutely starstruck in the English major’s presence. Seulgi was still trying to process what the even happened in there.

Meanwhile, Moobyul was talking a mile a minute. “That was Joohyun?” Seulgi distantly heard the other girl raving. “I know you told Yongsun and me that she was pretty, but what the hell? That girl should be doing CF’s or modeling for High Cut. She’s like...Aphrodite’s daughter or some ! Holy crap!” Moonbyul exclaimed. She was clearly elated for her friend, eyes wide with excitement. She kept smacking at Seulgi’s arm, trying to grab her attention.

“This is so great, oh my god. She seems so sweet. I think she’d be good for you, Seul. I can’t believe you nailed that date with her later! I hope she texts you soon. If you don’t set a date soon, you guys might never go out. Can’t let these sparks die out, baby!” She pumped a fist in the air with gusto.

At this, Seulgi snapped out of her lovesick daze. “Hold up, Joohyun can’t text me,” she said, stuffing her hands into her pockets. They turned the street corner and continued on their way. As the sun lowered, the neon lights of the shops lining the street flickered to life. Their lights cast the sidewalk in an ever-changing glow of colors. She stared blankly at her elongated shadow.

“She still doesn’t have my number, Moonbyul.”

“Wait, what? You didn’t…?” Moonbyul trailed off in confusion. A beat later, the silver haired girl groaned and clapped a hand to her cheek. “Oh my god. Seulgi, I thought you got my hint!”

“Wait, what hint?”

“Oh my god. Dude. You’re so oblivious sometimes, Seul.”

“Moonbyul, what hint?”

Her roommate stopped walking and stared at her as if she’d grown another set of eyes or something. “When I asked you to write the names of all those bars, that was the perfect opportunity to give Joohyun your number. That was the hint.” Seulgi’s face lit up with realization, then crumpled with disappointment when she realized she’d spoiled her chance. , not again.

Joohyun really kept tripping her up. Something to do with those large, doe eyes that so soulfully peered into hers. Or the curve of her lips as they pulled up into a jubilant smile. Or the way her eyebrow liked to flick up when she was feeling in a daring mood. Whatever it was, Joohyun’s effect on her definitely made her lose a little bit of her edge. This was the third time she’d meant to get Joohyun’s number and had completely forgotten about it until it was much too late.

“Damn,” she mumbled quietly, her mood sinking below the pavement beneath her feet. Moonbyul clapped a comforting hand on Seulgi’s shoulder and they started walking again. Her roommate whistled low between her teeth, shaking her head slowly. “She’s really clouding your thought processes, huh? Well, that’s alright.” Seulgi’s sulking expression remained, undeterred by Moonbyul’s kind gesture.

“Don’t let it get to you too much. Joohyun mentioned she only works during the weekends, right? Last I heard, you have an essay and an exam due next week.” Seulgi gave her a blank look, still not entirely seeing where Moonbyul was going with this. She wags an eyebrow at Seulgi suggestively, “Sounds to me like you know exactly what your plans for tomorrow are, Seul. You can head down in the afternoon, pick out a book or something, write your number on your receipt.”

“Moonbyul, you’re an absolute genius.”

The silver haired girl threw back her head, laughter echoing off of the street shop doors. “Yeah, yeah. Let’s just hope my plan works out this time, hm?” The pair fall silent, focusing on keeping themselves from freezing alive for the rest of the way back.

“Thanks for braving the cold with me, by the way. I think Yongsun’s really going to like this,” Moonbyul said as they rode up to their floor in the elevator. “No problem,” Seulgi replied. “That’s what friends are for, dummy.”

**

“She didn’t write her number?” Yeri sputtered, sending droplets of her iced Americano splattering over her friends. The three of them recoiled in shock, shielding themselves a millisecond too late from the spray.

“Oh. My. God,” Sooyoung gasped, balling her hands up into fists. Her eyes flared with hellfire. The youngest of the four of them blinked back at her with a wide-eyed, innocent face. “Yerim.” Just as the taller girl looked like she was about to lunge over the table, Seungwan gently grabbed at her wrist.

“Here,” the Canadian murmured, smothering Sooyoug’s hand with a napkin. With her other hand, she was daubing at the side of her face. “Try using this instead of a right uppercut. Might be more effective.” Sooyoung’s hardened expression softened considerably, her cheeks dusted over with pink. “Thank you,” she murmured, uncurling her fists to accept the napkin.

“Yeri, if you spit on us again, you are walking home, young lady,” Joohyun said, eerily calm for someone who’s entire face was doused in her friend’s espresso riddled spittle. She’d sent off a few frantic texts to her friends once she’d returned to her post at the front desk, alerting them of Seulgi’s unexpected arrival. The four of them arranged to meet up at the Tea Leaf after her shift for Joohyun to, quite literally, spill the tea.

“Sorry,” Yeri said meekly, flashing everyone an apologetic smile.

They turned back to Joohyun.

“No, she didn’t,” The oldest of them smacked the newspaper Seulgi used to jot the bar names down face down onto the table. “You can double check if you like.” Permission granted, Yeri snatched the paper up and started pouring over it.

“Her handwriting is pretty,” she offers lamely, passing it over to Sooyoung. “It’s kind of insane looking, though. Looks like she took calligraphy or something.”

“What was her behavior like?” Seungwan asked diplomatically. She was doing her best to maintain her optimism for Joohyun’s sake. She didn’t like how everyone’s moods had deflated the moment it was revealed Seulgi hadn’t given Joohyun her number. From what she was hearing, it was possible Seulgi could’ve just been too embarrassed by her roommate to have asked. “Did she seem more reserved than usual?”

Joohyun was quiet for a moment. “Now that you mention it...I do suppose Moonbyul’s teasing was getting Seulgi rather flustered.” A smug look crossed Seungwan’s features. “Ah-hah!” the Canadian exclaimed, “I knew it. That’s got to be it. Her roommate, Moonbyul, sounds like she was just having fun with the situation. Hell, it sounds like something Yeri or Sooyoung would do if we ran into Seulgi.” Sooyoung and Yeri proceeded to throw death glares her way.

“Guys, I mean that in a good way! It’s endearing!” Seungwan protested. Sooyoung wordlessly handed her the newspaper, refusing to meet the Canadian’s puppy dog eyes. “I agree with Yeri, her handwriting is really nice,” she says, looking over at Joohyun. “I think Seungwan’s onto something, too. With all the teasing her roommate was doing, it seemed like Moonbyul practically knew you before she’d even met you.”

Yeri nods along, “Yeah! And don’t even try to pull ‘what if Seulgi was just saying she met a new friend’ or some bull like that. Moonbyul knew way too much for Seulgi to consider you just a friend.” Slowly, the spirits huddled around the tiny cafe table lifted. Seungwan smoothly slides the newspaper back to Joohyun, triumphant she’d managed to brighten the mood with her optimism.

“Oh, yeah, Jeongyeon said something interesting before I clocked out,” Joohyun murmured.

“What?”

“ She said Seulgi seemed interested in me,” Joohyun murmured. “Nayeon agreed, she said that Seulgi hardly looked away from me practically the entire time we were talking. It was kind of odd, seeing them agree on something for once.”

Comically, Yeri spews out her drink once more.

“Dude!”

“Yeri what did I tell you!”

“Not you trying to ruin another one of my favorite sweaters, Yerim!”

Yeri snatches up a fistful of napkins and sheepishly offers them to her friends.

“Um...Please don’t make me walk to my dorm?”

**

Kang Seulgi sat up in her bed, her copy of A Clockwork Orange clutched in her hands. Though her eyes remained glued to the page, she wasn’t actually reading. The girl was lost in her own thoughts, replaying back moments from Gem on Gangnam. She and Moonbyul had cooked dinner once they’d gotten home but she’d been zoning out during most of it, too. Moonbyul didn’t seem to mind, she was well aware of Seulgi’s conflicting thoughts.

If you asked any of Seulgi’s friends about her, they’d tell you she was never one to stutter or stall. She was a straightforward, confident young woman who knew exactly what she wanted. She was wicked smart, skilled in both science and math, but also thoroughly enjoyed the arts. Painting and photography and reading took up much of her free time when she wasn’t working on homework. According to her friends, she was a regular Picasso.

When Seulgi set her heart on something, she did anything she could to make it happen. More often than not, things worked in her favor when she set her mind to them. Seulgi maintained a somewhat detached, laid back disposition amongst strangers which often served to further amplify people’s interest in her. When around new people, she preferred to watch and listen, to learn more about them before speaking her thoughts.

She was intimidating, charismatic, charming, attractive, and hilarious. When you truly got to know her, you’d see Seulgi was nothing more than a soft hearted goofball. Nothing made Seulgi happier than joking around with her friends and making them laugh. Her personal role in their friend group was the one who cheered everybody else up. She was the ‘funny’ friend. Even if she wasn’t feeling a hundred percent herself, she still gave her all for the people she was close to.

The duality of her nature made her seem even more appealing. Since her freshman year in high school, Seulgi had a handful of relationships. With her past experience, she became well-versed in the matters of winning over someone’s heart. Her last relationship hadn’t turned out well, however. This latest failure was something that hurt her deeper than any had before.

She’d been cheated on, lied to, reassured that nothing was going on. The relationship itself had lasted almost a year. They’d graduated together but attended different universities, and that’s where most of the trouble began. Previously, Seulgi had always been the one breaking up with her partners. But the roles were reversed in a twisted, dark manner.

After what happened, she mainly focused on herself. She took precautions in ensuring she was healing properly, building herself back up again bit by bit. She took care of herself and did whatever she could to feel like herself again. If anything, that only increased people’s interest in her. Seulgi brushed off her admirers and kept to herself, she hadn’t looked for anything serious since that breakup.

Although many people told her what an amazing person she was, Seulgi was starting to lose confidence. She’d started college off fearlessly despite not having an overall plan of what career path she wanted to choose. Many of her peers told her she had plenty of time to think about what she wanted to do and she believed them. But a year had passed in a blink of an eye and Seulgi was still just clueless as to when she’d arrived at SM University.

She had spent her time in vain searching her mind and heart inside and out for any indicator of what she wanted to do for the rest of her life. But no matter how hard she tried, everything came up as one giant blank. Her brain simply refused to process that key information. On top of that, every time she visited her family, her parents pestered her about the future. Where do you want to move to after university? What do you want to be doing once you graduate? Have you been looking for a real job, yet?

It was overwhelming. There was so much on her plate. She was in the honors college, she tutored other students three days a week, studied her hardest, and it still felt like she wasn’t doing enough. Seulgi was doing her best to hand;e everything at once but sometimes it felt like the world was crashing down on her shoulders. Ever since she met Joohyun, Seulgi hadn’t been able to stop thinking about how nice it would be nice to have someone to share the weight with her.

To have Joohyun listen to her worries and fears, to help ease the burden she carried. Tell Seulgi she loved her, to have her reassure her. Her friends were always willing to lend an ear, give advice where they could, and make sure Seulgi didn’t self-depreciate too much. But there’s only so much you can ask a friend to do, a limit to that kind of intimacy of fulling knowing a person.

The night she’d confided in Joohyun what was on her mind, Seulgi felt certain she was falling for the other woman. Despite the two of them being literal strangers, Seulgi found it easy to open up to Joohyun. That was out of the norm for her, seeing as she liked to keep her circle of friends tight. Yet she had truly spoken her mind on such a sensitive topic with barely a second thought.

Maybe she’d felt obligated to after Joohyun had shown her that secret little spot in the library. An eye for an eye, tic for tat. But she knew it was deeper than tactfulness. Something drew Seulgi to Joohyun the moment she spotted her. A yearning arose in her heart so strongly, Seulgi felt the hair stand on the back of her neck. Her attraction only grew at Joohyun’s thoughtful, caring response. Joohyun was a good person, Seulgi was sure of it.

To some extent, Seulgi realized she afraid of rejection from Joohyun, too. This was the first time in a long time she genuinely felt a connection with someone. She really wanted things to work out between her and Joohyun but was terrified that they wouldn’t. Her friends reassured her there were many signs that her interest in Joohyun was mutual, but that didn’t stop the tiny voice of doubt from working its way into her head.

Wouldn’t it be tragic if Joohyun didn’t feel the same? Wouldn’t that feeling merely be amplified if all the signs were there and Joohyun still rejected her? Seulgi bit her lip. All of these unanswered questions were getting her nowhere. She was working herself up again. The girl heaved herself up off her bed and moved to her desk, looking for any sort of distraction she could muster up. She’d already finished her homework for the day, maybe she could watch a movie or something?

A knock came at her bedroom door. Seulgi paused.

“Come in,” she called out, her voice deflated. She hoped Moonbyul wasn’t planning on teasing her about before. Moonbyul opened the bedroom door slowly. She balancing a platter of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies in the crook of her elbow and holding twin cups of steaming hot chocolate. Seulgi cracked a tiny smile at the sight of her best friend’s juggling act. She waved the other girl in, took the platter of cookies from her, and set it down on top of he