Once, while I was receiving my diploma on stage during graduation, I had this dream where I would be designing houses and buildings and be really good with it once I passed the licensure exams with flying colours that firms would fight amongst themselves just to own me.

That dream, however, turned to dust as soon as I entered Seo Architecture Firm.

You might think that being in one of the most well-known architecture firms was an honour, that it would bring you closer to your dreams, that you would do what you’d been studying for in the past five years. You thought you got it all figured out now.

But then, not.

Being in Seo Architecture Firm only taught me two things over the past week: 1) always be on your toes, because your boss saw and heard everything and one slacking moment would give him hell’a lots of reason to make your life even harder; and (2) being a newbie because you must up to it if your superior asked you to run stupid errands the entire day.

Before I knew it, I was about to pass out on my seat and yet I still had to write down reports for my senior colleagues and I couldn’t even get home early, because Oh Sehun just loved to live in the office 24/7. The only time I felt like I could finally go home was when he was already out at three-thirty in the morning.

It was also the only time when I felt like I could breathe. My body always only relaxed when I was the only one left in the office, too. When I felt like I was finally free from the misery I put myself in. It was terrible, but then it was still a job. I could live doing it without loving it. I knew it would be hard, but would it matter if in the next few months I won’t learn anything new? Let’s just say it was more likely I’d end up being their slave and these people would never really include me in the team, but did I really care at this point? No.

Whether they’d treat me so poorly or not, it didn’t really matter. At least, I was getting paid. The money was, honestly, more important to me now. We needed it and it was a hefty sum that I was offered. It was enough to help my dad with everything.

“How’s my architect doing?” Dad was on the phone with me last night. It was break time and since I didn’t have anyone to eat with I decided I’d spend the free time alone at the fire exit stairs like what I’d grown accustomed to.

I smiled upon hearing his voice. He always only answered the phone, but it was enough. I could wait until the day my mom would answer it, too. “I’m doing fine. My boss is really nice. He gives me a lot of projects to work on,” I lied. He chuckled, telling me ‘that’s my girl!’

I wanted to tell him the truth, but I knew that it would only worry him. That was the least I wanted to happen, especially that dad had already been worrying about how they’d survive with the small sum they had left on their bank for this month.

My siblings were older than me with a better living condition, but dad really didn’t want to bother them with money problems so he won’t tell them when he no longer had anything to spend. Of course, it wasn’t like my siblings didn’t help them. In fact, they did. Seokjin, the eldest, would always deposit a five hundred thousand won allowance to their bank in the middle and end of the month. Miyeon might have stopped working after getting married, but she and her family lived next door to our parents so even if she didn’t give them any money, she took care of them when she could. Jimin, who was a law student, had gone to the US to continue his studies to become a lawyer, so I was really the next one to support them and I finally could after months of being jobless.

It was just that dad had many debts he had to pay back, that what my siblings give couldn’t be enough for him and mom. And he wasn’t gambling. My dad wasn’t the type of person to, believe me. The reason for his debts was because he used it all up to pay for my tuition in university and Jimin’s studies in the US.

Now that I was able to, I wanted to do everything to bring him out from that debt. So, I was decided that no matter how much blood or tears I shed, I would fight for my place in the company.

The only time I’d probably stop was the day I pay off all of his debt.

“Seoyeon-ssi I asked you to print this out for the meeting later! Why haven’t I seen copies of it on my desk?!”

“Ms. Lee did you see the floor plan for the first floor somewhere around my table? I thought I got it out from the stock room. I’m gonna need the blue print as base for the second floor, so do you mind finding it for me?”

“Seoyeon-ssi how was the report from yesterday? Did you put it on Manager Oh’s desk on time before he left?”

“Seoyeon-ssi can you grab us some lunch from outside?”

“Newbie get us some coffee from the café across!”

“Mine’s double shot espresso!”

“Get me their French vanilla and some bagels please!”

“Can you fax this letter to our suppliers? They said they need it and I still have a lot to do.”

Hearing their demands or their voices was like waking up to nightmare. I couldn’t even take a moment to stop and breathe. They just threw out orders here and there without giving me a break. I wanted to scream and tell them I didn’t want to do their bidding anymore, but I was too smart to deny their demands. If I did that, I knew that they could easily get me into trouble with Oh Sehun, especially that they were well aware how much Oh Sehun hated me. One look from him said everything.

I was obviously his least favourite in the office. He hadn’t even had any decency to talk to me about work or just anything trivial. The only times he would talk to me would be when I’d pass to him the completed reports and he’d tell me to just ‘leave it’ on his desk. He didn’t even look me in the eye or ask me if I was alright. He was downright rude like that.

So, I up to their demands for another day—typed in reports, printed out additional reading materials, photocopied documents, turned the stock room upside down to find documents, brought them coffee while they worked, bought snacks from the convenience store next door, answered calls from suppliers in their behalf and all that yada they couldn’t attend to—because all of them were apparently ‘all busy’.

I was so busy meeting the short deadlines they set for me for each task that I didn’t even notice blood dripping from my nose until the thick, crimson liquid dropped to the paper I was reading. Eyes widening at the sensation, I touched a finger to my nose only to smell and feel blood on my hand. I looked for an available tissue box on my desk, but there was none, so a few more drops stained the reading material on my desk. Panicked, I abruptly stood up, knocking off the chair behind me to the ground.

Everyone’s head turned to my direction, eyes narrowing at the unnecessary commotion I was making as the newbie. Eager to get their attention removed from me, I waved my hand in front of me in dismissal and said in reassurance, “I’m sorry for being so noisy. It’s nothing. You should get back to your work. I’m fine here—“

“Seoyeon-ssi you’re bleeding,” someone interrupted me.

I nodded, wiping at my nose with the back of my hand, eager to prove that the nosebleed would stop any time soon. “Oh no, It’s just a nosebleed. I’m fine.” I faked a laugh, waving them off once more.

Ms. Jung came up to me with something in her hand. My eyes widened when I realized she was actually pulling out plies of tissue from her tissue box and bringing it to my nose. “It’s a nosebleed for Christ sake. How can you be fine?” she sounded angry as she wiped at my nose, but I could tell there was a hint of worry in her voice that tugged at my heart and made a lump form in my throat. This wasn’t like the Ms. Jung that I knew.

“Are you really okay?” Tae Ri, who was always seated in front of me, stopped what she was doing and turned in her seat to look at me with as much concern. “You shouldn’t over work yourself or you’ll end up just as a liability to the team than be of any help.”

“Go to the clinic if you have to. You need to cure that bleeding with an ice pack to stop it or something,” Mr. Kim told me, turning in his chair briefly to look before going back to his draft.

What is this?

I was so bewildered by the sudden change in their uncaring attitude that I barely heard what they said to me next. Ms. Jung was saying something while handing me her tissue box, but I was busy watching her face scrunch up into worry that I couldn’t comprehend what she was telling me. Tae Ri was looking back at me from time to time. Some of my other co-workers threw weird looks at me occasionally until a booming voice spoke.

“Are you going to just stand there and continue inconveniencing the team?” I flinched at the harsh words, tearing my eyes away from Ms. Jung and meeting the icy stare of Oh Sehun across the room. He met my eyes, saying, “go to the clinic or something. Get home if you’re that sick. I don’t care. Just don’t go back if you’re only going to be sick in the office. The least we want is you being a liability. It’s already so much work we can’t get done because you’re not that skilled.” I narrowed my eyes at him, feeling annoyance building up inside me.

“Listen to him while he’s being nice,” I heard Ms. Jung whisper to me.

“Being nice?” I repeated her words, scoffing. Her eyes narrowed a fraction when she heard me.

“Don’t say it like that. He meant good when he said that—“

I interrupted her, something inside me snapping that it made me brave to say what I said next. “I’m sorry for being not that skilled, Mr. Oh. It’s my fault that I am not much of any use to you—” I bowed apologetically while pushing back my pride and anger. Then I looked at my colleagues around me whose eyes were now on me and continued, “—or to them.” I gulped. “I’ll make sure that I won’t inconvenience you like this in the future though.”

I wanted to bite my tongue for saying the opposite of what I wanted to say and headed out of our office without sparing another glance at Mr. Oh. As soon as I was out of our department, I started for the fire exit and just as soon as I was alone, I slid to