A/N: A homie is going thru a lot *insert tired face emoji and fist emoji here*. Do excuse the errors. I will get around to editing those later. So without further ado, here's Lipsoul backstory part two~

Word count: 6,423 words

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“I told you this was gonna bite you in the sooner or later.”

The glare that Jinsol throws at her best friend is immediate and she tries to lace it with as much hostility as she can. She asked her to meet because she was in need of some sympathy, not nagging. Sooyoung, of all people, should know how things have been for her for the past weeks. She should know what Jinsol needs. And right now, that’s not a lecture on her choice of lifestyle.

Since Sooyoung, her so-called best friend, sits across from her, it’s easy to see her get defensive over just one glare.

“What? Why? You know I’m telling the truth.” She says, takes a long sip off her peach iced tea, unabashedly trying to mark her point.

But Jinsol isn’t going to let her gloat.

“It’s a bit hypocritical, don’t you think?” She grits her teeth and pulls her cup of hot chocolate closer, keeps it level with her face as she holds the glare. “It’s not as if you didn’t like it before.”

Sooyoung chuckles mildly at her obvious annoyance. She places an index finger and thumb under her chin and looks to the ceiling in a signature thinking pose.

“I wouldn’t say I liked it nor disliked it. It was just easy and convenient.” She shrugs.

At which point, Jinsol starts to wish that she can shoot laser beams out of her eyes, not enough to vaporize Sooyoung, just enough to spook her, but the taller girl speaks again.

“Anyway, it’s different now. I have Jiwoo now.” The contented smile that she gets when she talks about Jiwoo is there and Jinsol seethes.

For the past months, that look made her feel ecstatic and proud of Sooyoung, because she knows she deserves it. On the whole, she thinks she still feels that way over it because she’s genuinely happy that Sooyoung met her soulmate in Jiwoo. But right now, maybe she’s quite salty over it.

“Good for you.” She spits, puts her cup down, and leans back on her chair. She even goes far as to cross her arms over her chest to show her sulk.

Sooyoung chuckles again, clearly enjoying all the teasing she’s giving her (which is probably payback for the teasing she gave her when Sooyoung was pining for Jiwoo). But after a good minute, she drops the playful grin and lets out a sigh.

“It should be the same for you, Sol.” Sooyoung breathes, gives her a sad smile in place of the teasing. “Because, honestly, I have no idea how you can still keep up with this. I know you. Deep inside, you’re just... a big softie.”

“How exactly am I a big softie?” Jinsol asks, eyebrows raised in a challenge.

Sooyoung simply points at the huge dollop of whipped cream floating on her drink and looks knowingly at her.

Jinsol rolls her eyes in reply. “What does this even have to do-”

“Jinsol, it’s been two weeks since you slept with that girl whose name you won’t even tell me.” Sooyoung cuts her off.

Two weeks? It has already been two weeks since she met Jungeun? And she still can’t stop thinking about her to the point that she hasn’t slept with anyone else yet? Jinsol doesn’t understand how that could be when all she’s ever known are one night stands and the occasional booty calls. Is she perhaps getting soft, like Sooyoung had said?

As if she could read her thoughts, her friend builds on her momentary silence.

“If you’re getting hang up on her like this, I think It’s safe to assume that your heart is telling you to stop with the flings.” She pauses, looks at her expectantly. “Should I set you up on serious dates? Jiwoo has friends and we-”

“No! I don’t want that! I don’t want to go on dates, Sooyoung.” Jinsol whines, but weakly, as she’s also bothered by what Sooyoung made her realize.

“Then what do you want?” She asks. Jinsol hears the slightest bit of exasperation in her tone. “You aren’t going to keep on whining to me for the next two weeks, are you?”

“No, I won’t. I, uh, hopefully, not. I… don’t know, Hasoo.” Jinsol mumbles as her hands wrap around her drink, her fingernails scratching the paper sleeve tensely.

She looks up at Sooyoung from her lashes, prepares herself for her bestfriend’s reaction over what she’s going to say next. “I… I wanna see her... again... if I can.”

Sooyoung blinks at her.

“Wouldn’t that be, well, difficult considering she didn’t give you her number? She just upped and left while you were sleeping.” And the meanie points out, but with a sorry look on her face.

Jinsol crosses her arms over her chest again, pouts some more as she frowns hard and fixes her gaze on the table. “I know her name and her major.”

Sooyoung looks at her with an eyebrow raised. “Are you saying you’re going to look for her?”

“Maybe…?” Jinsol replies, tries not to give away that she’s actually hopeful.

Sooyoung sighs and reaches for her hand to pat it. Jinsol looks back at her curiously. The taller girl then takes a deep breath before speaking.

“Sol, I really do think it’s great that you met a girl who made you feel something different but… what if it was just a one-night stand for her? You’re my best friend and I want you to be happy... I just don’t want you to get hurt.”

“You think I haven’t thought about that?” Jinsol pauses, gathers her thoughts before can start running amuck. “It’s… it’s fine, Sooyoung. I’ll be fine. I just want to see her one more time. Maybe if I do, I’d stop feeling weird about it, you know?”

And Jinsol really has thought about it. Countless of times, actually. Jungeun seemed far from the clingy type that would wake her with breakfast or some other weird domestic thing, but Jinsol had hoped that she would, at the very least, use her shower and wake her to tell her that she was going to leave, because leaving like that hurt. Not that it was the first time somebody did that to her (in fact, Jinsol had always preferred that they do) but Jungeun is special so her leaving the way she did took a hit on her more than she’d like to admit. Was the not good enough for her? Was she delusional in thinking that the two of them had this insane chemistry, that it was all one-sided? Jinsol hates it but Jungeun leaving like that shows that Sooyoung is very likely onto something, that it was just a one night stand to her. The thought makes Jinsol dejected and she can’t help but pout again.

The minutes tick by as her words settle in the air. Sooyoung doesn’t say anything and just looks at her. Jinsol wants to say something more, something that could get that half-worried, half-suspicious look off her face but Sooyoung’s phone suddenly rings and she never gets the chance to. Her best friend takes the call and, within a span of a millisecond, starts cooing baby to it with a sweetness that rivaled that of the most toothache-inducing dessert.

Jinsol has to divert her gaze to the window in embarrassment but she can’t stop her ears from listening. Sooyoung sounds so elated. She doesn’t even have to look at her to know that she has the softest and shyest smile on her face. Her best friend, who she liked comparing to an elegant swan before, has now become a mushy teddy bear. Sooyoung has changed so much since the start of summer and all throughout the past semester. It’s a good thing, of course. Before she met Jiwoo, she was a workaholic and only really cared about winning in a life-long, head-to-head war over everything that she had with her sister. But now, she seems freer, happier, livelier. This Sooyoung, in front of Jinsol, is a different Sooyoung. She’s a better Sooyoung.

With this, her mind drifts off to some thoughts she swore she wouldn’t let herself visit. Twenty-two is still too young of an age to think about settling down but maybe, just maybe, it’s the right age to consider something a lot less foolhardy than what she has right now. So, yeah, maybe she wants to feel the same kind of bliss Sooyoung feels. She has every right to, right?

Sooyoung finally ends her call with Jiwoo. Lips pulled to a really wide grin, she pockets her phone and gets up noisily which catches Jinsol’s attention.

“Listen, Sol, I have to go now. Jiwoo and I are supposed to meet at the library.” She sees the sad look on her face and pauses. “You can tag along if you want to. You haven’t really hanged with us lately and Jiwoo misses you.”

Now, Jinsol knows very well that she doesn’t want to be the third wheel. But she also knows that she doesn’t want to be alone so she throws her hat to the ring.

“Alright. I’ll come. But don’t get all touchy in front of me, okay? I’m... fragile.” She mumbles, pouts again.

Sooyoung gives her a sheepish look. “We’ll try but no promises.”

They head to the library at a comfortable pace. As they walk, Sooyoung puts an arm around her at an attempt to comfort her. But the moment Jiwoo is in sight, she practically runs to her, leaving Jinsol feeling lonely, cradling her to-go cup against her chest for some warmth. She doesn’t dwell on it though. Especially when Jiwoo, albeit a little red in the face, greets her with her usual bright as the sun smile.

The three of them find a corner table for themselves and settle on it quietly.

“She’s not here yet?” Jinsol hears Sooyoung whisper to Jiwoo, who shakes her head in reply.

“Who’s not here yet?” Her eyes dart between the couple in suspicion.

“Jiwoo’s friend.” Sooyoung answers. She narrows her eyes at her. “Don’t worry. We’re not setting you two up. At least, not this friend.”

It sounds fake and she feels wary so she takes sips off what’s left of her drink. When the look of innocence doesn’t budge off Sooyoung’s face, Jinsol decides she’s telling the truth, so she puts the cup down and opens her bag. She has no coursework to do but since she’s here, she might as well study.

Jinsol spends the next fifteen minutes perusing her notes from applied mathematics (what kind of dance major willingly takes a maths course? Only the craziest kind). It’s a subject she actually enjoys, so she gets deep into it that she fails to realize that Jiwoo’s friend had arrived until she hears another voice speak.

“Jiwooming! I’m here. Sorry. Did you guys wait long?”

Jiwooming?

The nickname and the voice sound awfully familiar. Jinsol lifts her eyes up in mild interest only to nearly go into ing cardiac arrest upon seeing the newcomer.

“It’s okay, Jungeunie.” Jiwoo says with a wide smile. “Sit.”

The girl gestures to the vacant chair next to her and Oh my god. She isn’t dreaming, is she?

“Jinsol unnie, this is my friend, Jungeun.”

She has blonde hair now but it’s her. It’s definitely the same Jungeun and Jinsol has no need for introductions. It’s even more evident when Jungeun finally looks at her after her name is mentioned.

“Jungeun, this is Sooyoung unnie’s best friend, Jinsol unnie.” Jiwoo continues, oblivious to the way that both of their pupils are shaking as they stare into each other’s eyes.

“Hi. Nice to meet you.” Jungeun says after what feels like an eternity of just looking at each other.

The tension builds in the air and Jinsol feels like she’s going to explode. Sooyoung gives her a questioning look which she only replies to with an awkward smile.

“You know what? I think I’m gonna go to the washroom first.” Jungeun says as soon as she puts her bag down on the table. She waits for Jiwoo to nod before she stands and goes.

With how composed Jungeun is acting, Jinsol finds the mind to wait a minute before she too comes up with something.

“I’m parched. I think I need some water. I’ll go get some, okay?” She bulls and follows the younger girl.

The washroom door closes behind her, swinging noisily on its hinges like a pendulum. When it stops, everything becomes so quiet that Jinsol can almost hear her pulse, directing the flow of blood through her veins. Jungeun backs away from the farthest cubicle after finding it empty. It’s clear that she had to make sure that they were the only ones in there.

“So…” She clears . “You’re Sooyoung unnie’s best friend?”

“And you’re Jiwoo’s friend...” Jinsol replies, takes bold steps towards her.

“Well… this is awkward.” Jungeun holds her ground, gives her a sheepish smile.

It isn’t unusual for Jinsol to meet people she’s slept with on other occasions. Bumping to them in class is always weird because they become clingy afterward. Running to them while walking on the street with some other new fling is tense. But coming across them on some other party or bar always means fun.  But this, what coincidence has brought upon her and Jungeun, is a totally different thing. This could only be fate. And frankly, Jinsol’s scared. How did she even go so fast from wishing to see her again to actually standing right in front of her (in a poorly maintained state-funded university bathroom too, of all places!). What does she even say to her now?

“It is… I guess.” Jinsol decides on that.

Jungeun raises an eyebrow at her but all she can think of is how good she looks with blonde hair.

“Well... what do we do now?” The younger girl asks her.

Jinsol has rehearsed this conversation in her head a dozen times. She’s thought a lot about seeing Jungeun again so even though finding out that she’s actually Jiwoo’s friend caught her off guard, she’s still prepared to plead her case.

“Listen, Jungeun. I know the whole thing is weird and awkward but I had fun with you that night and-”

She’s ready to spill the truth, that Jungeun’s been on her mind since then, that she thinks meeting like this could only mean that the universe is pushing for them to get to know each other more, but the younger girl cuts her off.

“I’d rather we don’t tell them about that.” Jungeun says and only then does Jinsol notice the steely look in her eyes.

She blinks, taken aback. “Of course! We won’t. I just-”

“Think that we should look past it?” Jungeun supplies. Jinsol wants to tell her that she got it all wrong but the younger girl isn’t finished. “I think so too.”

She’s stunned into silence. What’s going on here? Jinsol’s trying to bring up wonderful possibilities, a shot at something that Sooyoung and Jiwoo have, but Jungeun’s onto something else, something quite far from it. Did that night really mean nothing to her?

“I mean, we’re obviously going to see more of each other from now on because of our friends. I just don’t think I can handle it being awkward all the time so… let’s be friends?”

Jinsol stares blankly at the hand Jungeun extends towards her. Friends?

She looks back up at Jungeun’s eyes and she sees her own hesitance and confusion mirrored there. It isn’t hard to see that something is holding Jungeun back.

Don’t worry. We’re not setting you two up. At least, not this friend.

The minute drags on and Jungeun looks so vulnerable standing there with her eyes begging for her to just take her hand so Jinsol reluctantly takes it, if only to not see her crumble.

“Yeah, sure. Friends.” She says, makes a mental note to interrogate Sooyoung over what she said earlier.

&&

Meeting Jinsol again, in that way, was uncanny. Well, Jungeun knew they would see each other another time because they go to the same university. But discovering that they had connections that run deeper was nearly on the same level of mindblowing as alien conspiracy theories. Their best friends are dating each other and the two of them happened to meet somewhere which led them to sleep together on the whim that they have no obligations of seeing each other again? That’s as neatly as Jungeun can put it, which is not neat at all.

Although it has been a while since their tensed fake first meeting at the library, specifically, a whole month had passed. So they’re over that awkwardness now. With there being so many opportunities for them to be in the same space, third and fourth wheeling for Jiwoo and Sooyoung on nearly a daily basis, it didn’t take long for them to feel comfy with each other again. And it wasn’t hard at all, given Jinsol’s laid back and fun personality. Jungeun just knows that even if they met on different circumstances (those that do not include ), they would still hit it off and quickly become friends.

Anyway, it’s Friday night yet again and Jungeun does not want to her mind to be occupied with her and Jinsol’s weird beginnings. Although Haseul visiting her thoughts has become less and less these days and there weren’t any other incidents where she was desperate for company to get through the night, she would rather not have a Deja Vu or something. Since that night with Jinsol, she steered clear off bars and other places with liquor. Some might say that meeting the older girl like that wasn’t all that bad, especially because they’re good friends now, but Jungeun no longer trusts herself around alcohol.

Which is why it’s unfortunate for her that Joowon, Mark, and Jiwoo, tag-teamed into dragging her out of her dorm tonight for some drinks. What’s really surprising about that is seeing Jiwoo with those two because she’s been inseparable from Sooyoung since the start of the school year (when they began dating), which, frankly, is what made Jungeun agree to go with them. Never mind the fact that their favorite bar to hang at is dropping drink prices for more than half as a sort of ten year anniversary treat to the patrons.

As soon as they get there, however, the reason why Jiwoo’s with them becomes clear to her.

“Baby!” Jiwoo squeals, jumps into Sooyoung’s waiting arms.

Of course, where Sooyoung is, Jiwoo will go. Jungeun doesn’t have to look hard to know that Jinsol isn’t far off either. With each passing day, the three of them are becoming more and more like a package deal to her.

“Behind you.” Jinsol calls with a light laugh. She swerves around her from the back and places a bucket on their table. Once her hands are free, she turns to her and smiles warmly. “Hiya, Jungeun.”

“Hey, Jinsol… unnie.” She greets back. Jinsol’s round doll eyes sparkle with that familiar excitement whenever they’re together and Jungeun, like always, has to look away from the intensity of the stare.

Jiwoo slowly detaches herself from Sooyoung and turns to her just before they both sit on the booth.

“Before you say anything, this was all Joowon’s idea. Mark’s bringing his boyfie and Joowon’s bringing a new friend.” Jiwoo says, which explains the two’s timely disappearance.

Jungeun glares at her but still settles opposite from her. Jinsol squeezes in after her and it doesn’t take long for her to become aware of how close they are. Why couldn’t Jiwoo and Sooyoung just get a normal table instead of a booth?

“Jungeunie, we just thought that you needed to go out and socialize. I mean, you’ve been cooped up too long in your dorm. You’re not a chicken, you know?” Jiwoo continues, which keeps her distracted from how her heart practically jumps to 110 bpm over Jinsol’s knee accidentally bumping hers.

But the distraction doesn’t last long because the older blonde starts grabbing bottles off the bucket and uncaps them. She hands Jiwoo and Sooyoung one each. And when it’s Jungeun’s turn to get one too, she commands Jungeun’s gaze and hands the bottle to her with a charming smile. It occurs to Jungeun that it may just be Jinsol’s normal smile, and that it’s just her weird self who finds it endearing but whatever.

“See? You aren’t going to feel left out or lonely. We’re all just friends here, Jungeunie.” Jiwoo says to prove her point after seeing their interaction.

It isn’t in Jungeun to argue so she picks up her bottle and drinks off it deeply.

“Whoa. Are you gonna be fine downing it like that?” Sooyoung asks her. “It’s going to be a long night, you know?”

She sees Sooyoung’s arm around Jiwoo and Jiwoo leaning comfortably against her body. It’s not an unusual sight. She and Haseul went on double dates with them back then so she’s seen them like this before. However, the striking difference from then and now is... Haseul. Haseul is no longer by her side. Haseul is no longer in her life. And no matter how much she misses her, she’s better off with someone else. Which makes Sooyoung right. It’s definitely going to be a long night. Jungeun becomes aware that she’s as a good as eating her own words from earlier but that’s fine, she can just chase those down with beer so she tips the bottle to again, effectively finishing her first drink for the night.

“You know what? We should get some food with these. How about chicken feet? Y’all good with that? Spicy chicken feet? Okay. I’ll be right back. Alright, Jungeun?” She hears Jinsol say.

She thinks she nods at that, but all she really feels is how empty their side of the booth is with Jinsol gone. Great. Now, she definitely needs more beer.

Joowon and Mark appear with their plus ones and occupy the booth just across from theirs. They, mostly Jiwoo and Sooyoung, trade introductions and small talk with the plus ones over the half meter that separated them. They talk of majors, classes, club activities, and other boring stuff that Jungeun can’t find in her to add her two cents on, even with Jiwoo shooting her looks. So, she settles for just listening and moving onto her next drink.

The mundane talk goes on for a while and Jungeun finally notices that Jinsol’s taking too long getting those chicken feet. She’s on her third bottle now and their bucket is looking rather empty. Sooyoung takes notice of it too because she makes to get up but Jungeun signals for her to sit back down.

“You can stay with Jiwoo, unnie. I’ll go help her. The line’s probably too long or something. This place is way too crowded tonight.” She says coolly, slides off her seat, and walks towards the counter.

It isn’t difficult to locate Jinsol. Her blonde hair and overall aura just make her stand out anywhere. Jungeun knows that she isn’t the only one who thinks that way so it certainly shouldn’t surprise her that she finds her like that, surrounded by a gaggle of girls who look like they want to jump her with the slightest provocation.

Something akin to rage erupts inside of Jungeun’s tipsy brain and it for sure isn’t about the damn chicken feet. She marches up to her, about to give her a piece of her mind for making her and Jiwoo and Sooyoung wait and worry about her, but she stops when Jinsol turns to her.

The look on her face isn’t that of enjoyment or fun. In fact, she looks… uneasy.

“Jungeun!” She calls to her, relief evident in her tone as she breaks through the throng of girls around her.

She catches her breath first, grabs Jungeun by the elbow as if to steady herself. “I was just waiting for Jun to come back with our food. Sorry. Were you guys really hungry?”

“Uhh, no. Not really. I just came to… get you. Are you okay?” Jungeun looks over Jinsol’s shoulder, to the girls who are now looking daggers at her.

“I’ve been better.” Jinsol admits with a sheepish smile. “See, I was hoping to chat a little with Yeeun and Jun but they got busy with customers and… that happened but all I really wanted to do was grab our food and get back to our table.”

Jungeun looks at her curiously and she can’t help but wonder aloud. “Does that not happen frequently enough for you to get used to it by now?”

Jinsol chuckles, looking a lot more comfortable now.  

“It’s complicated. I know I have a reputation but I’d rather not get smothered like that when I know I want somebody else’s attention .” She looks pointedly at her and winks.

Jungeun looks away, feels her face heat up.

Now, this is another thing because even if they agreed to be friends there are still moments like this when Jinsol is obviously flirting with her. It could just be her way of messing with her, but that doesn’t mean Jungeun’s heart doesn’t feel things.

Luckily for her, Junhui calls for them (his eyebrows nearly shooting off his face upon seeing them together) and gives them two baskets of spicy chicken feet and another bucket of beer. They carry both to their booth, much to Jiwoo and Sooyoung’s relief.

“Did they make you two catch the chickens before they could amputate their feet and cook them? What took you both so long?”

“Jun said they won’t have enough kitchen staff until the next hour so…” Jinsol shrugs, looks at Jungeun for support.

“Yeah. And I think there was some hot stud making the thirsty ones flock to the bar which didn’t help at all.” Jungeun casually serves and watches in glee at the scandalized look on Jinsol’s face.

“Hot stud?” Jiwoo asks innocently.

“Guys! These chicken feet are best eaten fresh off the oil!” Jinsol exclaims. She takes a plastic glove off the tray, grabs one of Jungeun’s hand and puts it on for her, and directs that hand to a piece. “Try ‘em now. Like right now.”

Sooyoung gets the joke within a couple of seconds and snorts. When Jiwoo looks at her curiously, she shakes her head at her and proceeds to feed her. Jungeun lets out a smile and genuinely hopes that it somehow buries the conflicting emotions that are starting to bubble inside of her.

&&

Jiwoo gets knocked out after the second bucket. Sooyoung, being the caring (also, whipped) girlfriend that she is, carried her on her back, and the two of them hopped on a cab back to the campus. Joowon and her friend left soon after. Mark and his boyfriend blended in the crowd hovering by the bar but neither Jinsol nor Jungeun see any of them for the rest of the night.

Looking at the dozen empty bottles and chicken bones on their table, Jinsol knows it’s time that they call it a night too. And with how Jungeun sits slumped on the booth, she can tell that she’s pretty much done with everything. She readies herself to ask if she can send her home, a witty remark and a pun on hangovers at the tip of her tongue, but she doesn’t get to say anything as a girl walks up to them.

“Hey, Jinsol. Are you and your friend done? Do you wanna come to my place tonight?” The girl leans over the table with a cunning smile. “Or if you prefer, I can come to yours.”

Jinsol blinks in surprise. She stares at the girl who looks familiar. She knows she did her before but she can’t quite remember her name.

It takes all of ten seconds before she feels an arm possessively wrap around her waist and pull her further into the booth. When she looks to her side, Jungeun, who looked so ready to pass out moments ago, now looks like she could be at least 80% sober.

“Unnie,” She coos in a cute high pitched voice that makes Jinsol melt. As if that’s not enough, she rests her chin on her shoulder and looks into her eyes when she says “Who is she? You said you were coming home with me.”

It takes all of her to look away from Jungeun’s gaze so she could check the other girl’s reaction. “I see how it is. Another time then?” She offers with a smile.

But Jungeun wraps her arms tighter around her waist and leans her head on her shoulder.

“Girl, I wouldn’t count on it. Now run along.” She adds.

The girl lets out a scoff but leaves just the same. When she’s out of sight, Jungeun slowly pulls away.

She scoots back and avoids Jinsol’s gaze as she busies herself looking for her wallet. “You can thank me later. Right now, I just... I wanna sleep.”

She looks up when she finds it in her jacket pocket, gives Jinsol a serious look “I’m gonna call a cab. You should head home too, Jin-”

She slides off the seat from the other side and stands but enough is enough. She can’t just do that and leave.

Jinsol pulls her back by the wrist so hard that Jungeun falls on her lap. She stares at her in shock but Jinsol doesn’t let her speak. She brings their faces close together, cups her cheeks with both hands, and kisses her like how she’s wanted to over the past weeks - deep and desperate.

With what Sooyoung has told her, Jinsol knows that this is something they shouldn’t be doing but she can no longer deny what she feels. Especially not when Jungeun is kissing her back with the same, if not stronger, intensity. She knows, she can tell, that the younger girl feels something for her too, so pretending to be fine with just being friends and resorting to flirtatious jokes is killing her. But it’s also clear to her that Jungeun is still hung up on her ex, so this is Jinsol completely throwing away her expectations of a sugary, rainbows and butterflies romance with her.

it.

She wants Jungeun and she’ll take Jungeun in whatever way she can have her - a friend who’s also her regular drunken hook-up, someone to call at 2 AM when she’s struggling with an essay for some coffee and a pep talk (with or without the quickie).  it. her feelings. Jinsol has decided that whatever the hell Jungeun needs her for, she’s going to let her use her.

They pull apart and she looks into her eyes, searches those mesmerizing onyx orbs for any hints of hesitation or the even smallest smidge of objection. Jinsol finds nothing but the same desire that burns red inside of her, so without any questions, they get in the same taxi, tell the driver her address, and make out in the backseat for the whole of the ten-minute drive.

&&

A groan escapes Jungeun’s lips before she could even open her eyes. She holds her throbbing head in her hands and rolls to the other side of the bed in agony. Hangovers are the worst. And of course, it was her fault for drinking so much to the point that she was so hammered, she can’t even remember how she got home.

Her hands feel around for her favorite owl plushie, hoping that hugging it would give her some comfort. She reaches over the headboard, where it’s usually kept, but her hand only grasps air. She opens her eyes to look for it but ends up squinting in the brightness of the sunlight seeping in through the half-drawn curtains from across the room. Her eyes take in the minimalist deco furniture, the L-shaped couch, the hanging bookcase, the crystal bowl with a lone betta fish swimming in it. Her brain processes it all and

Jesus, . Not again.

Jungeun is quick to jump off the bed and collect her strewn clothes from the floor and under the bed ( Jinsol’s bed ). She gets dressed in a flash and with each clothing article she puts on, everything that happened, from the taxi ride to getting here and after, comes back to her. Jinsol came onto her but didn’t she also made it quite clear to her that she wanted it just as much? Again. Again?!

Whatever happened to her resolve of not resorting to something reckless for the sake of moving on or, even, simply getting through the night? And it had to be Jinsol again! They’ve gotten so friendly and now they’re back to square one?

“Oh, Jungeun! You're awake.” Jinsol’s voice sounds light and cheery for someone who just slept with a friend.

She scans her from head to toe in a casual manner before she asks. “Are you going somewhere already?”

“I was gonna go back to the dorm.” Jungeun admits, looks out the window as she’s too embarrassed to meet her gaze.

Oh, well. Running away wouldn’t have worked anyway. Even if she successfully pulled another dine and dash, she will still have to see Jinsol the next day and every day until one of them graduates.

“You don’t have to hurry, you know.” Jinsol starts, puts an end to her thoughts. “I mean, you can shower first or something. And I don’t want to brag but I make the best coffees for hangovers. You should have some before you go.”

The easy look on her face confuses Jungeun. What could that possibly mean? Is she not giving her the morning after talk? Is it because this is the second time now and it’s considered normal? But if that’s the case, shouldn’t there be more reason for them to talk about it because it can’t keep on happening? And why does it seem like she’s the only one freaking out about this?

“Uhh, Jinsol?” Jungeun bites down on her lip, slightly regrets letting her curiosity slip out. But Jinsol’s already looking expectantly at her, so she knows she can’t stop there. “About last night…”

Jinsol smiles, nods for her to keep going so she takes a deep breath and then gets right into it. “I’m sorry but it was a mistake-”

“Yeah, I know.” Jinsol abruptly cuts her off.

Jungeun looks at her so fast, she almost gave herself whiplash.

The easy smile from earlier becomes ambiguous. Jinsol holds her gaze for a moment before she speaks again.

“It was wrong of me to come on to you like that but I couldn’t help it, Jungeun. This thing between us is… it’s crazy. I couldn’t stop myself.”

Jungeun frowns at her words. “What thing?”

“The attraction. It’s... strange because I’ve never felt this with anyone before.” Jinsol’s eyebrows furrow and her eyes soften. “Judging by how you kissed me, I’m pretty sure you feel it too.”

Jungeun opens but closes it again. The older girl’s not wrong so what would lying do? And this is Jinsol. She deserves better than to be lied to so being honest could only be the best option.

“But the thing is... I was drunk last night. What happened wasn’t supposed to happen, Jinsol.” She mutters.

“I was drunk too. We were both drunk. But that doesn’t make it any less real, Jungeun.” Jinsol frowns at the floor and takes another deep breath. “Alcohol doesn’t change a person. It only takes away their inhibitions. Be honest with yourself, Jungeun. You know it just as well as I do.”

Jungeun takes a moment to herself. While it’s making her heart flutter to know that she made Jinsol, the player, feel real emotions, this just isn’t it. If she’s thinking that they can keep up something more than friendship here, then she has to know about Haseul and the state that Jungeun is in - not ready.  

“This can’t be. I can’t do this, Jinsol.”

And Jinsol surprises her again. It’s more than as if she can read her thoughts. It’s more like she’s anticipated everything she was going to say and has an answer prepared for it all.

“You’re not ready for anything, I know that too.” Jinsol looks into her eyes once more. “So this… whatever this is... it doesn’t have to mean anything .”

“Huh? What do you mean?” Jungeun asks, even more confused. “We’re friends! Friends don’t sleep with their friends, Jinsol!”

“Who says they don’t? You’ve never heard of buddies? Friends with benefits? ”

Jungeun blinks dumbfounded as Jinsol lets her words sink in, implications and all. When the silence has dragged on long enough, she clears .

“Jungeun… all I’m saying is don’t freak out. It happened and we can’t undo it. I don’t regret it but I will if it ruins the bond that we already have.” She closes her eyes and chuckles weakly at herself. She shakes her head in disbelief. “You’re a really great girl and I… I like you and I enjoy your company very much. I don’t want to lose you.”

She opens her eyes and gazes into Jungeun’s sincerely. “Please believe me. I have no bad intentions towards you. I just want to be here for you. With or without the benefits, I want to be your friend, Jungeun.”

Jungeun looks back at her for a while until she gives up trying to put up a fight. The thing is she does feel something for Jinsol too. And she definitely does not want to lose her just like that when she’s one of the few good things she has right now.

“Yeah, I guess I want to be around you too. You’re fun to be with and you’re pretty cool.” She admits.

With that, Jinsol is able to smile again. “Great! In that case, let's be cool about it.”

“I made breakfast but if that scares you, you can go now and I’ll see you at the dinner with Sooyoung  and Jiwoo tomorrow.” She turns on her heel and heads to the kitchen.

“And what if I want to eat your breakfast?” Jungeun calls after her.

“Stay. It doesn’t mean anything. We’re just friends having breakfast together. Nothing special.” Jinsol replies, turns around, shows her a grin that finally convinces her.