Chapter 4 – Butterflies in my Stomach

QRI POV

“You must really like Park Jiyeon” I said trying to caught her off guard, I have been asking her what happened with her sudden change of mood as if she was annoyed with me since last night Jiyeon and Hyomin left, I heard her sigh as she glance at me. “No Qri, I have been a lot of thinking lately. I am sorry”

“You have been thinking about her a lot maybe.” I said, pushing the subject a little bit more. She stand up and never met my gazed.

This is the first time I saw a different side of Eunjung, I am not even sure if it is a good or a bad thing. Unlike with Soyeon and Boram, what Eunjung and I is a little different kind of friendship, she have open up with me that she can’t tell to the both of her childhood friends for she is afraid that she will be troubled them or worried about her. I already happened to see her soft side that she barely share it with others, we have a deeper connection that no one can ever understand.

Though I was a little bit drunk, but I notice how Jiyeon and Eunjung stared and exchanging glances as if they were both asking a lot of question but having trouble talking about it, I watched her intently as she moved weakly on her kitchen, cleaning the dishes as I sit comfortably on the dining with my coffee on.

“That needs to get off your chest Eunjung” I said sincerely, she turned her back and looked at me. I know this time I have caught her. I smiled and giving her the assurance that whatever what might it could be, I will understand.

“I think I like Jiyeon” She trailed off while watching her intently, though I am not surprised by her confession, I was a little bit shaken that somehow Eunjung have been liking someone already. “Tell me what I don’t know Eunjung”

Her brow furrows as she sit in front of me again, I know that she have been trying to find the right words to explain what she truly feels and I let her find those  words that she wanted to say without rushing her. She suddenly sighed, putting her head down. “You know my situation Q, I can’t be with her or let say I don’t even have the right to start anything with her”

I smiled, and held her hand to squeeze it lightly. I know that she might have been thinking in advance about something like this, and see how she really like Jiyeon to go this far of thinking. “Your situation it isn’t bad as it seems Eunjung”

“I don’t have anything to offer and she have everything in the world.” She exclaimed, as if she was the worst person she could ever be.

“I don’t think she have everything in the world Eunjung, because” seeing her dark expression made me worried how low she have been thinking about herself, I pulled her closer to mine as I riffled her hair a little and said, “She doesn’t have you yet”

She pulled back as she leaned her shoulder on the chair watching me intently. Eyeing me if I am being serious or not, “I don’t even sure if she likes me.” She muttered,

I raised my left eyebrow looking at her with wide-eye. “I bet, with all the tension last night. I think Jiyeon is also frustrated as you are” I said and giving her an assuring smile.

JIYEON POV

I huffed out of frustration when I suddenly remember what happened last night with Eunjung and I, on how our eyes locked and how she made me believe that we have something special with each other until I saw how caring she was with Qri, and realizing her sweet gesture with Soyeon. How can I think there might be something about us when we just met and barely knew each other. I slumped myself again on my bed as I feel little tired of thinking what is going on with me. She never left in my mind since last night and I think I am going crazy.

Interrupting my thoughts, Hyomin came to my room as she sit at the edge of my bed poking me softly on my feet as she held down. “Are you mad at me Jiyeon?” She weakly asked, I didn’t respond while I shifted my position back facing her.

I heard her sigh, “I am sorry, I know this is my fault. I will never drink again. I promise” She sincerely said as she could be, I sat down beside her looking at her suspiciously. “Don’t make me promises Hyomin, just do it”

She smiled widely as she knew that I will always gave her in.

“How did Qri and Eunjung knew each other? Do you have any idea?” I nonchalantly asked her trying not to obvious that I have been digger Qri and Eunjung relationship.

She looked at me as she is quite surprised with my question because my sister knew that I don’t usually ask anything about other people, “For all I know, Eunjung worked as a part time in one of Qri’s mother café,”

“And they became that close already?” I followed up pushing more of the question and unconsciously, that gains more suspicious from Hyomin but she answer me anyway. “Sometimes Qri will call her to drive us home most especially when we were drunk.”

Somehow I felt relieve, maybe that’s just it, Then suddenly Hyomin clapped her hands and slack-jawed as she looked at me surprisingly. “Don’t you remember her Jiyeon? The time when we went to the bar last summer? She is the one who helped you and took care of you because you were too drunk and wasted” she exclaimed,

I almost jumped off to my feet as I listened to what Hyomin had remember that night, I did remember almost everything happened but It never crossed to my mind that the one who helped me the whole night was Eunjung, It was all her all along. “I never thought she is Eunjung!” I responded back.

Hyomin looked at me with a silly grin. “I know we were both drunk that night, but you were really gross.”

My eyebrow furrows, “What do you mean?”

She put her chin up while holding it as if she was trying to remember something, “She carry you all the way to the car because you were acting crazy and you ended up vomiting into her whole body while she was carrying you”

I pat her arm harshly as I remember something like that could happened since it was my first time drinking a lot like that, and it ended up Ham Eunjung is the one who was there all along. I huffed out in frustration again as I slammed myself on my bed, ignoring my sister yelp in pain

--

EUNJUNG POV

I found myself waiting for Jiyeon to come out with her last class for today and I don’t want to missed the opportunity that I can talk to her and explained things with her, I don’t want her to misunderstand between Qri and I. Though, I am not really sure If she is interested to know or not, but nevertheless I wanted her to know that I was serious about her, and even though I know that I have nothing good to offer, I still want her to know that I will stand on liking her.

I immediately stand up in front of her as soon as she step her class door but she just yanked me away and by passed me. “Park Jiyeon” I called her out but she didn’t looked back, I walk a little bit faster to catch up with her walking but she suddenly looking blankly at me then she smile wide eye that makes me more confused about her, “Why are you here Eunjung?”

I scratched the back of my head as I lost my words, She stood there watching me the whole time. “I came here to look for you?” I can only mutter. She shrug her shoulder as she continue to walk towards the exit school building, but this time, slower and calmer. I watched her expression the whole time as the awkward silence filled the air between us, I sighed and put my head down, I stop myself from walking.

I am not really good at explaining myself and why did I have bothered to go all the way here and missed my part time job? Maybe, just maybe I have gotten the wrong idea that she might have at least a little feelings for me.

“If you came here to look for me, you should asked me out until the end. Why do you give up so easily?” Jiyeon suddenly exclaimed completely taken me off guard. I didn’t notice that she have been staring at me for a while now.

I stared at her, as I approached her slowly. She met my gaze and I find the chance to say it sincerely, “I am really not good at this, but I really want you to know that there is nothing between Qri and I, We are just close friends, that’s it.”

I saw her expression soften and somehow that made my heart beat a little faster than the usual. She smile, and this time it was genuine, pure and one of the sweetest I saw all my life, “I know” she simply responded. We continue walking reaching the exit of the school campus.

She turned to looked at me as we both stop from walking, I met her eyes and I was plastered with her expression, I don’t know why I keep on losing my words in front of her when I am not naturally like that, most especially with girls. “What now Ham?” She asked while gesturing that she will be on her way home to the right side of the way.

“I think, I have said whatever bothering me for past few days.” I said,

“That’s really all what you wanted to say?” She asked, I eyed her suspiciously trying to understand what she meant on that question, I awkwardly scratched the back of my head and shyly responded. “I don’t know, maybe that would be it.”

She sighed and gave me a simple nod as a response but before she could turn her back on me, I called her out. “Park Jiyeon”

“Yes?” She responded immediately as If she is kind of expecting that I will call her name again, “I don’t know if you are into a simple dinner but I want to take you at my place for a Ramyeon?” I bravely asked her.

She eyed me, and that really makes me nervous. I couldn’t really tell with her expression if she will accept my offer or simply reject it without me being offended that much, until she broke the silence and finally said, “If you could stay up late to help me with my draft after dinner, that’s perfect then”

I sighed in relief and smiled wide eye “I am not really good as you think you are but I think I can help you with your draft by a little moral support on the side” I teased, and I saw her eyebrow furrows as she smile with me walking all the way to my house.

JIYEON POV

I wasn’t really sure why Eunjung has been staying outside my class, to think that this is the only subject that Boram and Soyeon had different schedule in class, I wonder at the same time a little nervous for I don’t want to assume that she could might been waiting for someone else, I have been expecting too much for her sweet gesture with me before and I don’t want to misunderstand it again.

Agreeing to hang out in her place excites and intoxicate me, I don’t know what always gotten into me that I can’t just reject her or might as well distance herself from me as early as now but I can’t find the courage to do so because  I admit that I have been missing her when I knew that there is no assurance that I will see her at school.

As soon as we reach her place, I again surprised on how well she organize her place and the cleanliness was very evident that Eunjung must be a neat freak, I smile a little on that thought, She looked at me while her eyebrow furrows, “What you have been thinking Jiyeon?” She asked,

I looked at her straightly as I manage to stop myself from smiling, “Nothing.”

She eyed me suspiciously and shrugged her shoulder, “Make yourself comfortable. I will boil the water first” She said as she made her way to the kitchen and I looked around a little more while unconsciously made my way to her room, As soon as I opened the door, I am a little surprise how plain her room was, it is a black paint all over the wall with table, cabinet, bedsheet and the curtain filled with white color.

I didn’t know how beautiful the combination it could be but I had this lingering feeling of gloomy, sadness, melancholic and broken hearted all gathered in one small place of this house.

“Don’t think too much Jiyeon, Black is a happy color for me” She suddenly said as I almost jumped to my feet in surprised, “Omo!”

She chuckled as she saw my expression and riffled my hair. “Don’t get me wrong, it was really beautiful.”

“And sad” I ended. I looked into her eyes, I knew that she manage to flicker it away but I caught those emptiness and shattered feelings she’s been trying to hide for years. “Don’t stare at me like that Park Jiyeon” She said, approaching me slowly.

I stand still, “Did it bother you?”

“Yes” she simply said, as our body is just few meters with each other. “I want to be honest with you Jiyeon”

“Tell me,” I said, our eyes are still locked with each other, “Would you accept someone like me?”

I was a little taken aback by the question but I won’t let her notice that, I have been thinking for too much lately and what is happening between us is a little bit fast yet fascinating and wonderful. I saw how hesitant she is, and how low she think about herself. For some reason, I don’t want her to feel that she is not worth of loving because she is the only person that can give me this kind of feels.

She is the person who enter my life out of nowhere, I had no idea that she would be the very first person that can make me feel different as I never believe in love at first sight until I lay my eyes on her, and In those cute little puppy eyes waiting for my answer, I saw everything that I need.

“I am just ordinary Jiyeon, I don’t have the car to drive you home, I don’t have a lot of money to take you out on a trip or even dine you in a 5 star hotel in Seoul, I am also busy with my part time job and to simply make it short, I have nothing.” She trailed off while watching her intently.

I wasn’t exactly sure when it happened, or even how it started. All I knew for sure that I am here and falling hard, It was really out of control. I don’t want to lose her just because she lose confidence about herself,

 “I have a car that I can drive myself going to your place, I have enough money to buy Ramyeon for you to cooked for me every night, I don’t eat much in a 5 star hotel because my appetite and the way I eat doesn’t suit there, and with your busy schedule, I can pay you a little extra for you to have enough time for me.” I responded.

She looked at me blankly, I couldn’t tell if she was delighted or hated me to what I have said, I looked down and about to turned my back on her but she pulled me closer into a warm and tight hug, Her silent hug is the only thing to say, The hug that makes you feel comfort and at home. She pulled out from the hug as she cup both of my chicks. “I like you Park Jiyeon”

That makes my heart melt and I can’t barely breath as I responded, “Me too”

She stared at me lovingly as if she is trying to examine my face and memorizing each line of it, She kissed me at my forehead that makes me feel that I am the most beautiful person she ever met. She smiled, “I need to calm my heart down first or else, I might do something.”

I don’t know what’s gotten into me but this is what my heart tells me to do, before she could turn away from me, I pulled her closer to mine, closing any gap between us as our lips met. As soon as our lips touch, I knew deep within my heart that I don’t want anyone else to have my heart but only for her. I want her to take my lips and make them her own, She deepen the kiss as she s