Dahyun feels a familiar torrent of emotions rising and falling within her as she’s tipping back her second mixed drink of the night. Like waning and waxing of the moon, the bittersweet sensations of sadness and stress poured through her heart, lessened only by the haze of alcohol settling over her.

        The biting shock of strong Vodka aftertaste is barely concealed by the overly sweet taste of fruit punch sloshing along the insides of her cup. It makes her lips pucker up and her eyes screw shut as she takes in the burning sensation at the base of .

        “,” she hisses to herself. “That’s awful.” The taste holds a special kind of note to her palate that makes her wince with regret. For a second, the liquid threatens to resurface from and she struggles to choke the drink down.

        At this point in the party, the high school senior is more than just a little tipsy. She notes that as she’s leaning against the side of a wall, pretending to look at her blank phone nonchalantly. She didn’t have any notifications, but no one else had to know that.

        As she coolly does this, swiping through her social media feeds, her surroundings begin to spin. The sudden swirling of reality as she knows it doesn’t panic Dahyun like it used to. It’s become typical for nights like this one.

        Dahyun’s used to the floating, tingling sensation by now, in spite of how odd it felt as it coursed through her veins. She knows that she’s no angel. Like most of the kids stumbling around her with their own drinks in hand, she’d succumbed to the party life a couple years ago.

        Around this neck of the woods, there wasn’t much for rebellious youth to do for entertainment. In order to distract themselves, kids her age would run wild with the act of partying and rebelling before they grew older and had to search for work. How else could they cope with living in such a small city, where dreams were snuffed out so quickly?

        Tonight, there was a reason behind each sip of potent liquor Dahyun took. The constant drinks and the never ending partying had everything to do with screaming into the void. It was cliché, but true in this case.

        Dahyun’s uneasiness gained more and more momentum with each passing day that bringing her closer and closer to the harsh realities of growing old, of growing up. Rather than fearing something normal, like spiders or heights or flying, Dahyun’s one and only fear was this.

        Though Dahyun had more than enough entertainment in front of her to occupy her racing mind with the drunken high schoolers stumbling around her house, Dahyun found herself retreating into a familiar reverie.

        The entire concept of senior year drove her absolutely wild; the idea of growing up sent shivers down her spine. She was starting to get headaches by merely thinking about all of the impending events that would take place.

        She envisioned the amount of applications she would need to start completing, the stress inducing notion of choosing which college she would attend. Then the final day of her adolescence, when she walked the stage of her high school graduation.

        The concept of moving away from Seongnam seemed so far away, yet it was right around the corner. Dahyun was just a few months shy from gaining the title “graduate”, and her friends had urged her to throw this party the second her parents went out of town.

        “We’re finally going to be seniors!” Tzuyu had exclaimed a few days earlier. Her voice rang out loud and clear through the empty corridor of their empty school.

        The last bell had rung half an hour ago, dismissing students to their long awaited summer vacation in an instant. While everyone was busy swarming out of the building, four girls lingered behind, still cleaning out their lockers.

        The tall young woman was practically overflowing with glee, clapping her hands together. There was nothing better than a party to get the typically reserved girl hyped up.

        “Right! This is the perfect time to throw a party. We can make it a celebration now that we’re one step closer to reaching the freedoms of adulthood!” Chaeyoung shouted in turn.

        She clung to Tzuyu's arm as if the younger girl were a life raft, running her fingers along the fabric of the taller girl’s sleeve. Tzuyu glanced down at Chaeyoung with a soft smile, tilting her head down to place a gentle kiss on the shorter girl’s blushing cheek.

        The pair had been going steady ever since freshman year, a feat Dahyun applauded. Both of them were obviously deeply in love with each other, and it struck a chord with Dahyun that they found who they were meant to be with so soon in their lives.

        It reminded Dahyun that if only Sana hadn’t had to go to off to college before they’d gotten their chance to bloom into something more than just each other’s long time childhood crushes, perhaps the both of them would always be happy like that now.

        She tore her eyes away from the sight of the happy couple, choosing to focus on taking down the last of the magnetized photographs she’d pinned up around her locker at the beginning of the year. Yeri leaned against the locker next to Dahyun, with a slight pout on her face.

        “I agree with Tzuyu and Chaeyoung...I mean come on, Dahyun-ah. It’s not like you haven’t thrown a party before,” Yeri hastily added as she watched the girl drag her textbooks out of her locker.

        Being the more emotionally inclined of the group, Yeri had no trouble whatsoever in sensing Dahyun’s confliction. She rested a careful hand on Dahyun’s shoulder, making sure to understand that no matter if the girl threw the party or not, her friends would still support her decision.

        Dahyun closed the locker, not forgetting to slip the lock into her backpack, then studied the girls she considered her best friends. Each of them were beyond excited to be one step closer to adulthood, Dahyun could read it so clearly in their youthful faces.

        None of them had any idea she felt she were stuck in between living in the moment and living in the past, trying to make up for the time already spent. She wondered if any of them had felt the way she did. She bit her lip, quietly making up her mind.

        “Alright, alright,” Dahyun had responded hastily, giving in to her friend’s wishes. Who was she to deny them a once in a lifetime opportunity of throwing a summer party before school started back up again? She surveyed the hallway for anyone eavesdropping. “Let’s do it. How does this weekend sound?”

        A chorus of cheers and a round of applause erupted from all around Dahyun, and Chaeyoung tackled her into a hug. “That’s the Dahyun I know!” Yeri chuckled. “I’ll send out the invites!” Tzuyu offered, holding up her cell phone.

        The four of them walked towards the double doors leading outside of the building, chatting amongst themselves about the party, but Dahyun lagged behind. “You sure you’re okay?” Chaeyoung fell back in step with her, glancing at her friend with a look of concern.

        They had burst out into the parking lot, and were about to part ways into their separate cars. The last day of junior year had stretched out long enough, and Dahyun suddenly felt drained.

        Dahyun wanted nothing more than to slip into her bed and gorge herself on some well deserved junk food and a Netflix marathon. Together, the four idled in front of the main entrance of the building, waiting to say goodbye to each other.

        Dahyun put on her best smile, lips and eyes curling up into the grin, and nodded. “Just peachy,” she joked. Chaeyoung gave her another long look, signaling that she didn’t believe a word of Dahyun’s reassurance.

       For a second, Dahyun thought Chaeyoung would say more, that she had seen through her facade, but she merely returned Dahyun’s smile. “If you say so, Dahyun-ah.”

        Now, Dahyun wasn’t one to be fooled by the trickery of growing older all. She had always viewed life as an endless cy