No trigger warnings for this chapter.

___

“I’ve been waiting for this,” Jongup hissed.

Perhaps Youngjae had missed the moment – it was likely, seeing as his mind was in a state of panic – but Jongup’s favourite switch blade had miraculously materialized in his hand.

This might have been what set Youngjae off, suddenly snapping him back to reality. His instincts kicked in and he did the first thing that came to mind – he brought his knee up with as much force as he could muster. The way he was being held up against the wall didn’t allow him much space to maneuver, therefore he didn’t have a start on the kick, so he had to do it twice.

But it was the element of surprise that did it. Because Youngjae’s awakening had come so suddenly that Jongup fell victim to the kick, even though it was the oldest trick in the book. The younger let out a surprised, yet pained yell and stumbled backward, however not dropping his knife.

Youngjae scrambled to his feet and tried running away. It seemed possible, for a split second he thought he’d outrun Jongup, but he did not get very far. Not even six steps away, he was grabbed again, arm twisted behind his back and shoved against the very same wall, only a bit farther.

Youngjae’s head was turned to the side, cheek pressed against the façade; that way he could see Jongup, bent over, cussing loudly about his crotch pain. It meant that it was someone else who was holding him down.

“Calm down, Youngjae. Let’s end this quickly.” Daehyun’s voice.

This only fueled Youngjae’s rage. He growled and started violently struggling against Daehyun’s grip, giving him some trouble in holding him down. Youngjae knew it was hopeless, but he was not going to go down without a fight.

Jongup didn’t stay in his state for too long. Soon enough he was making his way over, even more furious than before.

“I’ll rearrange your organs,” Jongup hissed.

Youngjae’s bravery abandoned him in an instant upon meeting Jongup’s gaze. His struggling weakened, although his wish to escape was greater. But before Jongup got to him, Daehyun moved quickly and his elbow collided with Youngjae’s temple.

Everything went black.

* * *

Youngjae woke up gradually without a full grasp on his senses. His head was buzzing and his sense of hearing was taken away temporarily. Under his fingers and head he felt a soft yet rough surface. It was a mattress of some sort, but he couldn’t see since his eyes currently weren’t cooperating; he couldn’t even open them. The next thing he picked up on was the smell. It was a rotten scent of blood, rusted metal and dirty laundry.

And then, when his eyes decided to work, he was met with a sight that was unfortunately familiar, however it was a perspective he was not used to.

He knew exactly where he was.

Most of the members had their own luxurious homes, however they mostly didn’t use them. Youngjae knew for a fact that Yongguk owned an unassuming, cozy little house in the suburbs. He knew that Daehyun had a penthouse in the center and that Jongup had an apartment, although Youngjae wasn’t sure where.

As far as he knew, Daehyun only used his ridiculously large and expensive apartment for hookups, while Jongup’s apartment was mostly used for Junhong and him to take a break and be alone. As for Yongguk, his house was a safe space he went to only when things were really bad for him, which was ironic.

Youngjae was currently in none of those places.

He was in the group’s shared residence. A mansion in Dobong-gu where the group resided most of the time, especially when there was work to attend to.

Youngjae was in the mansion’s basement.

He knew from experience that it was rarely used, aside from when the gang had someone important to keep confined.

He’d never thought that he would be the one held, though. He had been extremely careful not to let it happen.

Lying in the darkness, tears forming in his eyes Youngjae realized that he should have seen it coming. He had gotten in too deep. But even so he’d somehow trusted that he’d be safe. He had had trust in justice and law, but both had failed him. Had things been done correctly, all five men would have been in prison and he would be free, at home with his girlfriend.

He shook his head and spat on the ground, trying to get the bitter taste of iron out of his mouth.

His wrists were bound behind his back, giving his shoulders and back an uncomfortable ache.

The longer he was awake, the more frustrated he was. Soon frustration turned into rage and strangled sobs escaped his lips. He started kicking around, not sure what exactly he was trying to hit but he needed to hit something. Someone. Bang Yongguk. Or Jongup. Daehyun would do. But mostly Yongguk.

He had no concept of time down there. The basement didn’t have a single window, not even the small kind that’s usually located right under the ceiling. There was nothing in the basement aside from an old, smashed wooden cabinet and a squeaky chair.

Youngjae had no idea how much time passed before he’d finally stopped crying, although he still had the same urge to punch someone.

He must have been lucky.

God knows how many hours later, the door creaked open, faint light pooling into the room and making Youngjae squint. He couldn’t see who it was at first, as they were only a silhouette at the top of the stairs. Soon they moved into Youngjae’s line of vision and his face contorted with rage.

He took a deep breath and yelled out a series of insults, the worst that crossed his mind. The previous crying and the fact that he hadn’t spoken to anyone in who knows how long made his voice low and a bit weak and raspy, but Youngjae had always been good at screaming.

Daehyun only had a sad expression on as he dragged the chair over and sat near the mattress Youngjae was on.

When he was done screaming, Daehyun gave a small nod and said, “I deserve that.”

“You killed her! She had nothing to do with this, with any of you! You killed her!” Youngjae kept going.

The most infuriating thing was that Daehyun seemed genuinely regretful. He dropped his head, elbows rested on his knees.

“I’m sorry, Youngjae. Jongup and I were given orders. I tried talking him out of it, we could have found another chance, but… He’d already shot.”

“You are not sorry,” Youngjae hissed. “Don’t pretend.”

“Yongguk didn’t want it to happen that way either. Jongup will suffer the consequences.”

This sentence contained so much bull that it almost made Youngjae lose his mind. He suddenly moved forward – maybe a weak attempt to attack Daehyun – but all it did was make him sit up. However with his hands bound and his head spinning, Youngjae wasn’t much of a threat.

“What consequences, Daehyun!? There are no consequences for you ers!” He shook his head, closing his eyes. “I’m going to kill you all. And if you heathens have anyone you hold dear – I’ll kill them too.”

Daehyun sighed, leaning back in the creaky chair. “I’m so sorry, Youngjae. I know you won’t trust me, but I really have done everything I could have—”

“Don’t you dare try to wash your hands from this. It’s your fault as much as it’s Jongup and Yongguk’s. And everyone else’s.”

They were both silent for a moment.

“How’s your head?” Daehyun asked, his voice echoed through the empty space.

“You gave me a concussion, thanks for asking.”

“If Jongup had had his way, you wouldn’t be breathing right now,” Daehyun noted. “And Yongguk wants to talk to you, which tends to be difficult to do with a corpse.”

Youngjae let a beat pass, before looking Daehyun’s way. He had to avert his gaze immediately in order not to get sick. “You’re here to take me to him?”

“If you can stand.”

Youngjae didn’t say anything. He was already sitting up just fine, but he would not help Daehyun out in any way.

The older sighed and stood, walking over. As he tried to take Youngjae by the arm, he suddenly found a new strength within himself and started struggling against it. Had his hands been free, Daehyun’s pretty face would not have been safe.

Daehyun was doing his best to contain Youngjae’s violent trashing. He wrapped his arms around the younger’s waist, trying to lift him off the ground.

“Youngjae——Stop that! You’re not going to achieve anything this way—”

“Yeah but I’ll be damned if I come with you willingly!” he yelled.

Daehyun started to drag him away. The stairs were a problem. Daehyun had to worry about not getting kicked in the head – damn, Youngjae was flexible – and also about not falling down.

Eventually, with a lot of suppressed screams on Youngjae’s part, they made it up the stairs. With one exasperated noise of frustration, Daehyun pushed Youngjae, who stumbled and fell to the ground, sliding a few centimeters across the white marble.

“Son of a !” Youngjae screamed.

When he lifted his head he was met with a pair of red heels. Looking further up Youngjae met the cold gaze of Nahyun. She stood with two younger boys at her side; all three of them had the same stance, arms crossed, blank and disinterested expressions.

“Want me to take it from here?” She asked Daehyun, who was rubbing his shoulder and wondering what the hell had Youngjae done to him for his shoulder to hurt this much.

Nahyun was the head of general security, which gave her the pass to hang out at the mansion 24/7. Although she mostly stayed by the pool and flirted with Daehyun and whoever Daehyun happened to bring along. They were never serious, just teasing one another.

During his time with the gang, Youngjae had indulged. He’d had some verbal fun with her, but never went very far, just like Daehyun never had.

“Yeah, just… Just be careful. He kicks and bites,” Daehyun pointed out.

Nahyun gave a half smile and signaled the two boys behind her. They stepped forward and dragged Youngjae to his feet who, of course, refused to cooperate. He was tired of fighting, so instead he just stayed perfectly still. The one on his right sighed and lifted Youngjae up over his shoulder, carrying him like a sack of potatoes.

Nahyun walked ahead, heels clicking against the floor. The other boy was walking behind.

Youngjae tried to remember his name. Was it Taeseon? No, Taeseon was the one carrying him, this one was… Hayoung? Youngjae couldn’t remember. It didn’t matter anyway. He doubted the five men knew all their names either. These were the people who worked most closely with the gang, and there were hundred more members who only did their given tasks without asking any questions. Most of them didn’t even know what the five looked like, let alone where they lived.

But these were the chosen few. Ten teenage boys who were too young to be in this mess and three girls who took care of all the things the five didn’t have the time for. They were glorified secretaries and the boys were glorified guard dogs.

Staring at the floor while hanging off of Taeseon’s shoulder, Youngjae couldn’t see where they were going. Twice up a flight of stairs. One left turn, one right. He knew where he was being taken because of his conversation with Daehyun, but only saw it once he was placed on the ground.

Yongguk’s office was on the top floor. It overlooked the Dobong mountain, rather than the city.

Youngjae didn’t want to go inside. He didn’t want to see Yongguk, or the office, or the mountain, no matter how beautiful of a view all of it was.

The boy whose name was probably Hayoung opened the door and Taeseon pushed him forward when Youngjae didn’t move.

“It’s okay,” Nahyun told Taeseon, then turned to Youngjae. “Come on.” She took him by the arm and pulled him inside – she was much stronger than she looked.

Youngjae tried to remember some breathing exercises his therapist had taught him. Inhale four, hold six and exhale seven. Or was it hold eight?

Whatever it was, Youngjae needed to calm down. He didn’t want to be pulled into a flashback right now. Not a good time.

Calm down. Breathe.

Four, eight, seven.

Or was it six?

Youngjae was staring at the desk and it was making him panic. Because memories were flooding in and they weren't bad memories. Memories of him sitting on the desk and Yongguk sitting on the chair. The older usually rested his forehead against Youngjae's chest and they'd talk. They used to talk for hours while Youngjae played with Yongguk's soft curls.

They weren't bad memories. They weren't fueling his rage, they were making him sad.

He wouldn't allow himself to cry right now.

He looked up and only wanted to cry more.

Yongguk was standing by the window and staring ahead. He seemed to be gazing at the landscape, but Youngjae knew that he could probably see only as far as the traffic light right outside the house. Yongguk was thinking, and when he was deep in thought, he didn't see.

Youngjae remembered it. Sometimes his thoughts would wonder off while they were sat opposite of each other and Yongguk would stare right through him.

Four, eight, seven.

It wasn't working. Youngjae was starting to hyperventilate.

Yongguk was standing there, flicking his favourite lighter, his posture perfect in his white shirt with a neatly ironed collar, ed at the top. He only turned his head a little when the door opened.

“Should I free him or…? Daehyun said he tried to bite him. Maybe we should keep his hands bound,” Nahyun said, maybe to get Yongguk’s attention.

There was a pause before he replied, “He tries to bite everyone, it’s his thing. Free him, I’ll be fine.”

Nahyun was a bit skeptical, but without another word she pulled out her knife – it looked somewhat like the one Jongup carried, but that was no surprise – and cut the ropes binding Youngjae’s wrists.

“You can go,” Yongguk said flatly.

Nahyun threw Youngjae a threatening look and walked out the door. Even as the door closed, neither of them moved. They waited until the sound of heels got distant.

“You changed your haircut,” Youngjae said, desperately needing to break the silence.

Back when they met each other and during their time together, Yongguk’s hair was a curly mess, always falling into his eyes. Now it was miraculously straight and neatly combed, falling in graceful waves around his face.

The fact that Youngjae couldn’t find him ugly was deeply upsetting.

Yongguk turned and gave him a half-hearted look. “You haven’t changed a bit.”

He set his lighter down, but while he was still turned away, Youngjae stepped forward. Another step. His eyes were b with tears already. Fists clenched he stalked Yongguk until he was close enough to charge.

He wasn’t exactly in the state to fight. He was dizzy and exhausted and broken. Yongguk spun around and grabbed Youngjae’s wrist before he even made contact. Youngjae yelled and yanked his wrist but did not manage to free himself. Yongguk kept a hold on him and twisted his hand, pressing him against the desk.

Aside from Yongguk holding him down, there was now a cold, round object pressed to the back of his head.

“We’ve been here before,” Youngjae hissed, “Only without the gun.”

Yongguk said nothing.

“Do it then!” Youngjae screamed, not even struggling anymore.

A tense moment of silence passed before Yongguk let go. Youngjae straightened up and watched Yongguk leave the gun on the desk.

“I didn’t think so,” Youngjae spat, taking a few steps back. “If you wanted me dead that’s what I’d be right now. Besides, you’re weak,” he added. It was an insult that came as a result of distress and the feeling of powerlessness. It was so weak that Yongguk didn’t even flinch.

He sat at his desk, gracefully crossing his legs. “Sit,” he said.

Youngjae stayed up. “What do you want from me?”

Yongguk sighed. “Just sit down. Let’s talk like civilized people.”

Youngjae kicked the chair.

“You’re acting like a child,” Yongguk said.

Youngjae still stood.

Yongguk decided to proceed nonetheless. “We’ve had different ideas about what to do with you,” he started. “Jongup wanted to personally torture you, kill you slowly. You know him. Daehyun wanted to just shoot you and be done with it. He’s been really merciful… But not as much as Junhong. He said we should leave you be. And Himchan has stayed undecided.”

“And what was your idea?” Youngjae asked quietly.

Yongguk smiled very faintly. There was a hint of sick satisfaction behind it. “Mine? I wanted to ruin you. I wanted to tear into your life slowly. I wanted to give you a puzzle to solve and then kill you right after you’ve solved it.”

It did sound like something Yongguk would do. But this kind of rage was only proving that Youngjae had gotten to him, which was of some kind of consolation.

“Then why didn’t you do that? Why am I not amidst your plot?” He asked slowly, looking up at Yongguk for the first time.

“A man who goes by Bin saved you,” Yongguk said after a brief pause.

“Is that his real name?”

“No. But you won’t find out his name unless he tells you. All you need to know is that Bin of Nowon-gu faction saved your life.” He frowned, the most reaction to anything he’d shown so far. “You need to remember it because those ers never forget. You owe him now.”

Youngjae crossed his arms, eyeing Yongguk suspiciously. He knew nothing of The Nowon-gu Faction which was upsetting as it was. But even worse was the fact that he was apparently in debt to them, or one of their members.

“I still don’t understand how he saved my life or why I am here,” Youngjae said.

Yongguk reposition himself in his seat. “He realized that you might be of use to them. See, there’s been trouble on the east. New and unfamiliar gangs making trouble here and there… Recently there’s been an incident that truly put them on the radar. Turns out the gangs are a part of a bigger organization. They did some investigating and—“

Just as Youngjae wondered why Yongguk was telling him this, he said,

“—and they traced them back all the way to the gang that held you three years ago. Do you remember?”

Youngjae winced, suddenly feeling dizzy again. He took a few steps back and ended up sitting down like Yongguk had requested.

“How could I forget?” He muttered breathlessly.

“Yes, it was your great victory. Or it was supposed to be. You were supposed to catch us both but they got away, didn’t they?”

Youngjae clenched his fists. “Yes, thanks for reminding me.”

“Well, that’s why you’re here,” Yongguk explained. “You were on that case. You have access to the information we don’t. You’re going to help us solve the mess that has broken out. As for Bin… You owe him your life because he’s the one who’s discovered all of this and demanded we keep you alive.”

Youngjae’s head was spinning. He was once again on the verge of losing it and drowning in flashbacks, these being less pleasant than the previous ones. But he somewhat understood. He understood enough to give a witty comeback.

“So you want me to help you wage some gang wars. I get it. What I can’t figure out is; since when do you take orders from any higher-ups?”

Yongguk huffed. “We do not take orders. We’re cooperating with Nowon-gu.” He paused. “And we do owe them a favour.”

This made Youngjae crack up. “Oh, so you’re in that uncomfortable position as well? You having to repay a favour is what kept me alive? You have got to be kidding me.” He doubled over, wiping tears from his eyes. It wasn’t that funny, but Youngjae was losing it.

“So it would seem,” Yongguk said coolly.

“I understand. Can I go now?”

Yongguk glanced at his watch. “I suppose, yes.”

Youngjae stood, but he stepped forward rather than going out. “One thing, though.”

Yongguk gave him a questioning look.

“I want my room,” Youngjae said.

Yongguk stood as well reaching for his phone. “Sorry, but you aren’t in the position to demand anything,” he said dismissively.

“The basement stinks and it’s uncomfortable. In prison you at least have a blanket. And you get to clean your cell. Out of the two of us, you’re the one who should be living like that, not me.”

Yongguk pressed his phone to his ear as he looked up at Youngjae. “I suppose that’s how you’d like it to be. But we are done here. Taeseon!”

The door opened and Yongguk motioned for him to take Youngjae out.

But as he was being dragged away, he snapped. He turned and tried to step into the office again, but the boy held him back.

“Coward! You’re—You killed my friend! You did all that to take revenge on me and for what!? I broke your heart! I broke you! You let me in and I destroyed you because you’re weak! You killed her but that won’t heal you! In the end, everyone will leave you!”

It was satisfying to see that Yongguk wasn’t as stone-cold as he had just presented himself. He watched wide-eyed as the two boys dragged Youngjae out. The last thing he saw was Yongguk, dropping his phone and sitting back down onto his black leather office chair.