“So, how is it?”

Jung Eunbi looked up from her pitiful salad as her namesake joined her in the corner of the room. She had chosen this space deliberately. It still felt incredibly awkward to be around the other girls. She was aware that everyone was watching her. They all wanted to figure out whether she would be able to succeed in the nearly impossible challenge - especially as a quitter.

She knew exactly what stigma she faced. During her time as a trainee, she had held similar views towards those who were not cut out to be an idol. Never had she imagined to become one of them. In the end, however, she had been the good daughter and followed her parents’ wishes as best as she had been able to.

“I’m giving my best.” She stabbed a small tomato and glared at it. Stupid diet. “I don’t know, Eunbi-ya. To be honest, I feel pretty useless.”

“Oh, stop it. You’re doing fine. And you still have lots of time to improve.”

She smiled forlornly. “Less than two months is nothing and you know it. You all know it. I see the looks, Eunbi-ya. I sense your disappointment. I’m your only chance to debut on time and I’m doing a poor job in getting used to the normal trainee life again.”

Her dongsaeng slapped her arm. “With that attitude, you really do sound like a quitter, you know? Sure, I probably cannot imagine how difficult it is to come back like this, but you’re not a disappointment. You’re doing just fine. Your basic dance skills are still top-notch, you’re a good dancer. And Yuna-unnie keeps swooning over the tone of your voice like there’s no tomorrow. The only thing you need to work on is your endurance and the dieting, but we’re all dieting anyway so it’s not like you wouldn’t get your spot in our group when you miss the weight goal.”

Eunbi bit her lip as she looked into little Eunbi’s eyes. She could tell that her Eunbi meant every word. It touched her that even after all this time, she still had her little sister in all but blood in her corner. “I missed you, you know?”

“I know, I’m too awesome to not be missed,” she joked.

Snorting, Eunbi shook her head. “Of course.”

“Seriously, though.” The younger girl glanced around, making sure that none of the others would be able to hear her. Immediately, Eunbi knew which question would follow. They had danced around the subject since the last couple of days. “If you don’t mind me asking… what made you quit anyway? Singing was your life. I cannot remember a time when you weren’t obsessed with it. After you left, I figured that you had gone to a different company to train there, but… I never heard from you ever again.”

Eunbi sighed and looked down towards the floor. She had heard the pain in her dongsaeng’s voice, even if she had tried to mask it. She knew it had hurt her. Little Eunbi had never made many friends and she was fiercely possessive over the ones she had. “My parents wanted me to concentrate on school.”

“After years of training?” Hwang Eunbi sounded as incredulous and as shocked as she had felt all these years ago. It took another trainee to understand the sacrifice one had given to achieve the ultimate dream. “They just made you go back to school?”

Eunbi gave a small nod. “Not just any school… it was an all-girls school that focuses very strictly on education only. It was challenging at first, but I made it work.”

“Of course you did, you’ve always been smart,” she mumbled, more to herself than to her unnie. “I cannot imagine… giving everything up like that. It must have hurt.”

“Well, it did not look as if I would debut anytime soon, so I can understand them, I guess.” Eunbi sighed. It had not been a good time for neither her parents nor herself. “Especially after everything they had given me. They gave me more opportunities than they needed to. They always stood behind me and supported my dreams. First with acting, then singing… I’m grateful for them. I didn’t make it easy for them, but they gave up so much for me…”

It was silent for a moment as both girls thought back to a time that neither of them ever truly spoke of. It had always been present between them, but they had done their best to not let it control their lives and interactions.

The younger Eunbi cleared and ran her fingers through her hair. “How’s… how are you doing?”

“I’m fine.” She smiled at her reassuringly as she saw the worry in her eyes. “It hasn’t come back, so it’s officially inactive. I’m basically cured.”

But little Eunbi only furrowed her brow. “And the late effects? I know, Eunbi-unnie. I read everything about it.”

She raised an eyebrow. “You’re too nosy for your own good, Eunbi-ya.”

“Can’t blame me for researching when no one is telling me anything.”

“Well… as you can see, I don’t think I’ve really grown since my 12th or 13th birthday.” Eunbi shrugged nonchalantly. “But then again, I’m actually counting to the tall ones with my height anyway… you girls are just a bunch of giants. Are you sure you haven’t received the growth hormones instead of me?”

“Positive, Shorty. That one is just on you.”

“Yah! Show some respect to your unnie!”

“Aren’t I always?”

They smiled at each other, reveling about the fact that it still felt like yesterday and not years since they had last seen each other. Some friendships were just like that. And they were happy that theirs seemed to belong into this category.

Eunbi shrugged. “Other than this, though, I don’t think I experienced any yet. I sometimes lose my balance quite fast, but I’m not sure whether it’s because of that or because I’m clumsy. Nothing serious.”

“That’s good to know.” Little Eunbi glanced at her unnie’s salad and stole a piece of cucumber. “Do the others know?”

“Sojung-nim was at my doctor’s appointment. I told her it’s not a secret.”

“That’s good.”

She nodded and watched her dongsaeng a little more closely. “While we’re talking about our past issues… how’s your shoulder?”

A bitter smile appeared on little Eunbi’s face. “Same old.”

That was not good. “What about that surgery?”

“Even with that one, there’d be an 80 % chance of it happening again,” she answered emotionless. “It is how it is. I’m receiving injections, but other than that… I’m just grateful that CEO-nim is giving me a chance…”

“You have always been an awesome dancer, Eunbi-ya. You deserve to debut. And what I have seen during these last few days, you’ve become even better. You’re one of the best dancers around. You earned this spot.”

“What kind of dancer am I when my arms start hurting and my shoulder dislocates whenever I dance too much?” Eunbi muttered darkly. “What will happen in the future when I can’t bring my full potential on stage? These girls…”

Both Eunbis looked at the four girls who were laughing and talking happily in the center of the room, completely oblivious to their surroundings. Just looking at them, one would have never guessed that they had come from a grueling training session.

“These girls put so much faith in me, Unnie,” Eunbi said quietly. “I’m so scared that I’ll disappoint them. That I’ll hold them back. They don’t know yet just how bad my condition is. How I could be a risk to their career…”

“You are not a risk to their career,” she answered sharply. It dawned to her that her little Eunbi had never spoken about these worries with anyone before. She was honored that she still held such a place in her heart that she trusted her like this. “So what, if you’re injured, you can just easily sit on a chair on stage and sing along to the songs while the others dance. I’m sure they won’t mind. I have only been here for a few days and have already seen how much you have done for this group, Eunbi-ya. They’re relying on you because they know they can. You’re strong and you’re incredibly talented. Don’t doubt yourself because of an old injury. I know it must be frustrating to be unable to show your full potential all the time and that you must feel as if you’re holding them back. But you’re not holding anyone back. And people will know how good of a dancer you are in due time. And more importantly, they will see what kind of amazing person you are. Just look how you’re teaching us the dance moves. You’re doing great, Eunbi-ya. Don’t ever doubt yourself.”

She watched as her little Eunbi started to play with the hem of her shirt and could not help but smile softly. This old habit she knew all too well. The avoidance of eye-contact and the fumbling fingers, desperately searching for something that would cause a distraction.

“Come here,” she mumbled and put the salad bowl aside to pull her little sister into her arms. At first, the younger Eunbi tensed up, but a second later she felt how her hands clung onto her shirt and she tightened her grip around her. “It’s okay.”

“Please don’t leave, Unnie.”

The whisper in her ear broke her heart and she swallowed dryly. “I won’t. Even if I might not debut with you guys, I will never leave you again. I promise.”

She looked towards the group of girls who had now turned their attention towards them with mixed emotions on their faces. Yuna and Yewon looked intrigued yet happy, Sojung-nim looked as if she knew what was going on and Yerin-ssi… Yerin-ssi seemed to be torn between concern and indifference. It was a weird combination and Eunbi made a note to watch her a little more closely.

Even though it already had been a few days with them, she still could not get over her awkwardness and shyness to talk to them. Eunbi was the exception. Towards the others, however, she had barely spoken a word.

It was not that she did not want to. She just couldn’t. She felt like an intruder. As if she didn’t belong to this group of friends. She didn’t want to force herself on them.

But she also knew that she had to become more social with them or her membership would never work out. She just didn’t know what to do.

Yuna and Yewon seemed harmless enough. They always tried to pull her into conversations and asked her questions when no subject seemed to bring her out of her shell.

Kim Sojung was something entirely different, though. She scared her a little. Not only was she the leader of the group, but she was also the oldest among them and already had the aura of a celebrity. It was difficult to speak up around her.

And Yerin-ssi? She was an enigma. She knew that she was very bubbly and warm towards the members in her group, always there to help them with whatever they needed. However, she carefully kept her distance from her. It was fine that Yerin-ssi reacted that way. It only sometimes bothered her because she knew that Yerin-ssi acted like this because she thought she would leave soon like the quitter that she was. And that irked her. She did not like it when people underestimated her. It was one of the reasons why she started to work even harder. She wanted to prove them all wrong.

For her sake, for the group’s sake, and for her dongsaeng’s sake.

She would show them all that Jung Eunbi was not a quitter.