I'm Too Sober For This

Bent

Irene decides not to go back to her apartment in case Seulgi is there. It’s not that she didn’t want to see Seulgi, but it’s uncomfortable when your girlfriend of several years suddenly treats you like a different person. It’s with reason, but still Irene doesn’t want to deal with those feelings right now. Instead, she goes to a clothing store to pick out more casual clothes for later. There’s no telling how long she’ll be a boy, especially if she can’t find answers from the fortune teller.

 

At the store, she sees a group of girls from one of her classes there. They’re all adults well into their twenties, but Irene could always feel them looking at her, and talking about her. Pettiness doesn’t always leave with age. Irene goes to hide behind a clothing rack, but realizes she doesn’t need to. She’s no longer Irene on the outside. She smirks to herself, for some reason, feeling like she finally has an upper hand. Being in someone else’s body keeps Irene an introvert while still going out into public.

 

When Irene makes her way up to the register, the girls watch her walk past.

 

“Who is he?”

 

“I don’t know. I’ve never seen him before.”

 

“He’s so hot. One of you should go talk to him.”

 

“Why don’t you go talk to him?”

 

“Fine, I will. Watch me land this date.”

 

Irene wasn’t sure if the girls wanted her to hear, or if they were truly unaware of how loud they were. Irene thanks the cashier, and turns around to see one of the girls standing behind her. The girl was trying extremely hard to look cool and collected, but failing epically to do so, making Irene almost laugh out loud. The girl twists her dark blonde hair around her index finger, chewing on an imaginary piece of gum.

 

“Oh hey, I didn’t see you there.”

 

Irene has to hold her breath to keep her from bursting into a laughing fit.

 

“Are you sure you didn’t? I’m like six feet tall with wide shoulders. I’m like a small tree walking around. Are your eyes okay?”

 

The girl just stares blankly at Irene. Irene thinks the girl probably expected a conversation more in her favor.

 

“Hmmpf. Listen I don’t know who you think you are with that attitude, but honestly,” the girl smirks, sizing up Irene, “It’s kinda hot.”

 

Irene feels sticky, like the girls eyes on her was leaving a residue.

 

“While this brief conversation was incredibly eye opening and enjoyable, I have to get back to my beautiful girlfriend who is waiting for me at home.” Irene smiles and nods, then proceeds passed the girl who’s face is laden with shock. Irene hears the girl’s friends laughing at the girl she just rejected as she walks out of the store, and finally lets a small laugh free.

 

Irene walks to a café a couple blocks down for a late lunch. She sits alone at a table, sandwich in one hand, phone in the other. Irene tries to think of ways to prove to Yeri she’s Irene. She thinks she can bring up that one time they went to a frat party together, and Yeri drunkenly kissed her in the bathroom where no one else saw. Irene and Yeri made a pact to never tell anyone, because Seulgi and Joy would have both of their asses if they ever found out. Besides, the kiss didn’t mean anything, they were just both drunk, and best friends. Stuff like that happens all the time. Irene figures that should be good enough proof that she’s Irene.

 

After eating her sandwich, she goes to pick up the wine Yeri wanted. She roams the city for hours, trying to pass time walking into stores she’s never been in before. Thinking to herself that if anyone starts doing blood magic she’ll leave immediately this time. She ends up buying Seulgi some bath bombs, Wendy a pack of guitar strings, Joy a new lipstick, and Yeri a scratch off ticket. Irene has been randomly buying Yeri scratch offs for years, claiming one day Yeri will be rich and famous because of her, and she will have to thank Irene at an award show. It didn’t really make sense because the most you could win off of the ticket was 500 dollars. It was more of an act to keep the inside joke alive, and to also have more proof that she’s Irene.

 

Seven finally rolls around, and Irene knocks on Yeri’s door. Irene hears the locks opening a couple seconds later.

 

“Hey, Ire-” Yeri’s glance rises from Irene’s chest to her face, “You’re not Irene.”

 

“I brought wine,” Irene says with a cheeky smile, realizing after how stupid she probably sounds.

 

Yeri looks at her like she’s an alien.

 

“Listen, Yeri. I am Irene. I know it doesn’t make sense, but please hear me out,” Irene begs, “I can prove to you I’m Irene.”

 

Irene pulls out the scratch off, the same one she always buys Yeri. “Fine, I’ll let you come in, and explain.” Yeri opens the door wider, welcoming Irene in.

 

The pizza is already there, and Yeri has already eaten two pieces. Yeri opens the bottle of wine Irene brought, and pours them both a glass.

 

“So, get to talking Man-rene.” Yeri hands Irene the glass, and sits across from her at the dining table.

 

Irene explains the fortune teller situation to Yeri. How she woke up to Seulgi threatening her, and how her new guy name is Ren, but she can still call her Irene when they’re not in public just to not raise any questions.

 

“Do you have any other proof besides the scratch off?”

 

“We kissed at that frat par-“

 

“Enough, I believe you. This is still so weird though.”

 

“Trust me, I know. Peeing is way easier now though.”

 

Yeri nods in agreement, “I can only imagine. Seul really doesn’t believe it’s you, huh?”

 

“No. I don’t know how to prove it either.”

 

“Well, the lady who turned you into a boy said this would help your love situation, right? You said you’re not sure if you love Seulgi anymore, right? Well, Seulgi is really gay so I don’t know if she’ll want to date you anymore, anyways.”

 

“Yeri,” Irene whines, waving her hand around, “Now isn’t the time for that. Besides the way she worded it, I think she meant this is supposed to help me fall in love again.”

 

“I don’t know how that’s going to work, but as your best friend, I am here to help you.” Yeri gives Irene a thumbs up.

 

“Thanks, Yeri. It’s just nice someone believes me.”

 

Irene takes a large bite of pizza, and is glad she didn’t fall out of love with pizza, too. Yeri’s phone starts ringing.

 

“Hmm, it’s Joy. Let me take this. Hey, Babe. Yeah. Uh-huh. I have a friend over. A friend from school. Ren. Yeah. Sure, I can. Okay, love you. Bye,” Yeri looks back to Irene, “Joy wants us to meet her at a club nearby. She said they’re having a special on drinks. Wanna go?”

 

Irene figures she has nothing to lose, “Sure. Why not?”

 

“Can’t believe I’m going to take my introverted friend to a club for the first time,” Yeri laughs.

 

“Well, I can pretend to be someone else without it being as weird because I physically am someone else now,” Irene responds, a little giggly from the one glass of wine. Irene is a severe light weight.

 

 

Yeri and Irene arrive at the club, and look around for Joy. It usually is hard to find her, because while she’s the tallest of their friend group, she’s still tiny. Tonight is a little different though, because Joy is dancing with another girl on top of a table.

 

“Dear Lord,” Yeri whispers, barely audible over the loud music, “I gotta go control my girlfriend, want to grab us drinks?”

 

Irene nods, and walks over to the bar. She orders two drinks, and watches Yeri trying to get Joy off of the table. She ends up pulling Yeri onto the table. Irene imagines Yeri is saying something like, “I’m too sober for this,” right now.

 

The bar tender hands Irene the two drinks, “Hey, what are those on your arm? Black light tattoos or something?”

 

Irene looks at the man behind the bar, unsure if he is talking to her. She looks down at her arm, and sees columns of short lines stretching from her wrist to the middle of her bicep. They’re glowing purple in the black light. Irene doesn’t remember seeing the lines before. She counts them up. Twenty lines. By now the bar tender left her alone, probably assuming she’s too drunk to answer.

 

Irene walks over to Yeri, and Joy who are now finally off the table, but Joy is still dancing like no other.

 

“Give me that,” Yeri snatches the drink out of Irene’s hand, and chugs it down, “I’m too sober for this.”

 

Irene laughs to herself about her correct Yeri prediction. Joy takes the other drink out of Irene’s hand, but Irene doesn’t fight it.

 

Irene leans over to Yeri, and whispers in her ear, “Before you get hammered, can I talk to you somewhere a little quieter?”

 

Yeri nods, then turns to talk to Joy, “I’ll be right back.”

 

Joy just smiles, and continues dancing on her friends beside her.

 

They walk over near the bathrooms, and Irene shows Yeri her arm. “The bar tender pointed this out. I didn’t even notice them until he said something. What do you think they mean. There’s twenty of them.”

 

Yeri stares at Irene’s arm in confusion, “Maybe it’s how many chances you have to fall back in love?”

 

“Maybe. I don’t know.”

 

“Listen, you should probably just buy a black light, and monitor it to see if it changes. Maybe the body you stole already had these.”

 

“I didn’t steal this body, I don’t think this person truly exists.”

 

“Let’s just try to take your mind off of it for now, and have a little fun. I’m sure your stress is bottled all the way up to your head, ready to explode. So let’s go shake it out a bit, alright?”

 

Irene nods, and lets Yeri drag her into the crowd.

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Comments

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Wafarasu
#1
Chapter 6: I just regret that there wasn’t as much angst. Sigh. Oh well. Nice story.
hyunhye
#2
Chapter 6: Thank goodness all of them end up being happy. Good job on the story authornim
MistressOfAngst
#3
Chapter 6: Oh wow I enjoyed reading this, it did feel a bit rushed here and there but in the end it was nice to have Seulrene end up together and handle it like adults! Thanks for writing this :)
Kimdubu02
#4
Chapter 6: At first, i was hesitant to read this fanfic and everytime I saw this fanfic, I'll just let it slide. I have to admit that im quite stupid for doing so becus this hella one good fanfic snsjiqbdiajqujskqijddwksiaiduss
probvblydead
#5
Chapter 6: can u hear me crying at the distance
hopes_dreams
#6
Chapter 6: i had fun reading this author, im gonna miss your updates. anyway, i am glad that finally seulrene got back, also seuldy's friendship. and i really love how irene and yeri's friendship here uwu. and finally irene finding herself and loving herself is more important. thank you so much author. :D
bluelyps27
#7
Chapter 6: How's the contemplation going? That is a major shift from chemistry to music, hey? In any case, good luck with that because I know that decision-process carries a lot of stress with it. You are right about something, though. Loving ourselves is important ... in fact, we have to love ourselves first before we can love someone else.

I liked and appreciated you had Seulrene be together as endgame. It would have been too sad otherwise! The reasons why Seulgi cheated on Irene was very plausible and Seulgi being given a second chance was not outside the realm of possibility. She seemed contrite and took the sensitive steps of packing her bags and cleaning up their apartment, in preparation for being booted out on her and this somehow made her more endearing. So yeah, I'm glad Irene gave her a second chance because that old adage of 'once a cheater, always a cheater' obviously does not apply to everyone.

Thanks for this story. I really liked it!
AlbinoFrenchFry
#8
Chapter 5: Poor Irene. She’s such a kind soul...
hugeboyxxi #9
I actually believed your comments saying there's nothing going on with Wendy and Seulgi hhhhhh but anyways, this story is insane with all its rollercoasters. I actually really don't know what will happen next! The unpredictability of this really makes me wanna scream. This is just awesome. I haven't had a story that made me want to rip all my hair out or bite all my nails or weep in my bedroom for a long time. This is really really really great. Gods, what will happen next? I'm really excited to watch how this masterpiece unfolds. I just can't stress it enough how great this fic is and how really incredible you are for making us want to clench our seats in excitement and nerves because we actually don't have a clue what will happen next. Well, for this chapter, let me just say that I kinda really want to slap the out of Seulgi but I guess everything that happens in this happens for a reason so... Let everything that should happen, happen. This is really getting a bit too long... Anyways, you really did a good job author, I'm excited to know what happens next. Also, thank you for updating daily! That's really awesome!
Chodinglainee #10
Chapter 5: Oh oh ohhh that escalated fast. Cheater seul