Looking into the white dress that hang on the wall, her eyes seems like could not leave the beautiful creation for this special day. Her eyes sparks with the sprinkles of the diamonds sewed on the flowy dress with a semi lace details and back slit cutting in all white color—this is the magic that every wedding dress hold.  

Years has passed, so as her phases in life. High school era, tough but sweets uni life and the juggling between career and personal life; it never gets easy, but somehow, she survived. Being at the age of 25 is like center of choosing the path for your future. Are we getting stable for our current job? Are we getting married? Are we getting more comfortable with what we have now?

She had witnessed so many events on her life. At such young age, some people die, some people build their career to next level and some has decided to plan to bring their relationship to the next level. Just like Sehun, who finally going to tie up to his lovely fiancé which also Chae Ri best friend who worked at the same hospital like her.

Although she promised herself to not cry on their special day, but she just could not help when seeing Hanbyul dress up prettily in her wedding attire. “I’m so glad that my favorite cousin will marry my own best friend” She said sobbing in her own tears.

“Chae, you promised me not to cry!” Her best friend whined. “Because I’m going to cry too and mess up with my makeup even before the wedding started”

“I’m so happy for you and Sehun” If anything, Chae Ri was the one who introduce them both.

Hanbyul shed her tears and pat her best friend back, “You know, I still can’t believe that I’m going to be someone wife”

“You will be amazing wife to my favorite cousin, Hanbyul” Chae Ri flashing a genuine smile, too overwhelmed with everything. “I love you both so much” She hugged the bride and made some excuse to leave the dressing room.

Chae Ri thought that it might help her to not becoming emotional. If seeing her friend only make her want to cry so bad, she can’t imagine seeing Sehun before he is going to the altar. Growing up with him and being on the same boarding school, all together through thick and thin, this is such a precious moment for her. It is like seeing your own brother getting married.

Waiting around the lounge of the wedding venue, her eyes keep focus on the entrance as she had been waiting for Rose and Chanyeol to arrive. The newlyweds are supposed to arrive 15 minutes ago but of course, Chanyeol habit of not being punctual is something that will never change since high school.

Luckily, they are now married because to be honest, Chae Ri can’t imagine anyone who can stand Chanyeol attitude other than her own best friend, Rose.  Well considering how long are survived in their relationship itself fazed her. Not everyone who started their relationship from high school managed to maintain it and let alone bring it to next level.

Wedding is a good place to catch up back with everyone. Relatives that she has not seen their face for years, those aunties that always keep track on what she does for livings now and not be to miss, those who joke and ask her when her time will be to get married.

“I’m just 25 and still young Aunties, I’m sure will invite all of you to my wedding when my time comes” Chae Ri just smile politely and shrugged off the question.

This is perfect event for reunion too. As everyone has been going to different uni and going on different path of their career, it is not easy to plan a proper gathering outside. They do have planned a reunion back in last year but due to her busy life as a doctor, she could not make it. As much as everyone has changed over the years, there is only one specific person that can give so much impact to her.

Byun Baekhyun.

It has been years since they met each other face to face. Was it the last day of high school? With all planned meet up that never happened and Chae Ri or Baekhyun absent from previous reunion or other weddings, this would be the first encounter again after everything. They did talk to each other on phone calls, or facetime from time to time but this is the first time they would see each other faces after so long.

Awkwardness fills in between them even when the hall is big and occupied with others. She doesn’t know how Baekhyun felt as he casually just smiles and eventually ask her if they can talk for awhile since the event will not start in any minute. But for Chae Ri, it does make her nervous despite she is putting her calm expression on her face. It felt like you are meeting your ex-boyfriend again but, in her case, he was not even his ex.

“It’s been awhile isn’t? You still look pretty as usual, Chae” Baekhyun compliment her as he trying to engage her into a conversation.

Despite her mixed feeling that she felt at this moment, Chae Ri don’t want to be rude. “I’m still being the same Chae Ri, you know. Anyway, thanks for the compliment, you are not bad yourself Baekhyun”

“It just feel so good to talk back to you, Chae. I miss this so much” He sigh. “I miss you” Unable to look into Chae Ri face, feeling guilty for everything he has caused.

Heartbroken and moving on is not as easy as can tackle, especially when we are not the one who faced it. Chae Ri herself has been letting out so many tears, wasting her time to go despair on something that are not worth it. Irony how fast we can fall in love with someone, on the same amount too we can hate them.

But in her case, she mostly despise herself from getting the pain. There was a long pause when she asked herself why she met him, only to feel the sweetness for a while and bearing the pain forever. She wish that she have thousand reasons to put all the blame on Baekhyun, but again, she asked herself? Is it really his fault when she was the one who put all hopes on the wrong person who did not feeling the same as her?

Few weeks after the last text where she cried all night pouring her frustration out, she once again defeated and betrayed herself by sending him another text, resume their conversation as usual like nothing has happened, like her heart not broken into million pieces. Of course, Baekhyun other side had no idea how she hide her tears behind her sweet voice when he called her.

He does ask her for her missing between the gap, as they were shuttling texts and phone calls almost every day, but Chae Ri was quick to give her uni assignments excuses as an escape. It went well for sometimes, keeping all her feelings inside and pretend like nothing affected her. All this while, pretending like she does not hurt was what she best at.

But Chae Ri is just a normal girl who have a strong feeling towards her crush, who never aware of the hidden layer she hide within herself. With all the struggles for her medic course and of course the uncertainty that never left, one day, she just had to ask Baekhyun again. It was so unpredictable for Baekhyun; from a normal ‘what you eat tonight’ to such a serious, deep, surprising questions and confession.

12 Aug 2018

From: Chae Ri

You already have girlfriend now aren’t you?

From: Baekhyun

She is not my girlfriend yet but we both have a mutual feeling. But as we are full of commitment, we will only take step ahead after we both are ready.

From: Chae Ri

So, it is true. That it is always the same girl?

From: Baekhyun

Yeah. She is the same person from what I have mentioned to you before.

Chae, just let me know anytime if you need anyone to lean on, I’m always here for you.

From: Chae Ri

I don’t know if I can still contact with you like always, Baekhyun.

Can I be honest with you?

, I really need to get this out of my head.

You are not dumb, Baekhyun. I think you know well that I didn’t think you as my friend, I treasure you more than that Baekhyun. I even told you once.

From: Baekhyun

Chae, sweetheart. I know about your feelings for me.

I really hope this does not affect what we have now.

From: Chae Ri

I’m going to be honest with you. For all the hopes that you have given to me, I have been waiting for you for like, 5 years. 5 years I thought that maybe I would have chance with you. Or I could at least change what you felt for me.

It never be your fault, I’m sorry that I crossed the limit in our friendship.

From: Baekhyun

Hey, Chae, please don’t say this.

I’m sorry from my part too. I should have aware that and limit myself in our friendship. I should have not led something that can only hurt you.

I really adore you; you are such a great person that I always look into since high school. I really enjoy every single our conversation and what we have shared previously. Please, Chae…

 I’m so sorry. I did not wish to lose you, I never will.

From: Chae Ri

This is not even your fault that I don’t know who I should blame for my heartbreak.

You are such an amazing guy and I don’t know if I can get anyone as good as you, Baekhyun.

I wish I could turn back the time where I should have not talk to you when we met for the first time.

From: Baekhyun

Don’t say that Chae. Meeting you is never a mistake.  

14 Aug 2018

From: Chae Ri

I just want you to be happy, Baekhyun. With or without me.

I will be fine.

Sometimes when looking back what she had gone through for these years, Chae Ri amazed that she actually survived the whole mess. Chae Ri surely such a strong woman. She bet that maybe, nobody are strong enough to be played like this. Not once, but twice, she got her heart broken because of the same guy.

Eventually after the whole conversation on that night, she does get the courage to finally stop replying to his texts, rejecting his calls, and even to the point thinking if she should block him.  What made her frustrated was the fact that he will want her by his side, even when he aware how she felt. The part that he don’t want to lose her and what they have right now.

Does it make sense that he want to keep her but give all his heart to other woman? Does it make Chae Ri as his mistress? She does not mind getting rejected again, she is used to it now. But it just felt to unfair for his action. What will his girlfriend feel if she knew that he is texting with other woman at the same time?

But Baekhyun does not stop, he still trying his best to get in touch with her knowing that she is not responding. One day he told her about his lost, which Chae Ri find it will be rude if she ignore him for this. After all, he used to tell her stories about his family.

30 Sep 2018

From: Baekhyun

Hey, I hope you are doing just fine Chae. I just want to tell you that I had lost my grandma this morning.

From: Chae Ri

I’m sorry for your lost Baekhyun. Be strong for your family. Your grandma was amazing, she is in a better place now.

She still heartbroken and one way to heal it is by avoiding herself from the caused of the pain. The burden had been left out when she told him everything and now all Chae Ri need is time, time for herself.

14 Oct 2018

From: Baekhyun

Hey, I finally got a job. I finally accepted to the company that I went for interview last time.

16 Oct 2018

Happy birthday, Chae Ri. I wish you the best for your life and have a successful career. Happy birthday again, my happy pills.

20 Oct 2018

From: Baekhyun

Chae, sweetheart. I wish I could this hundred times to you, but sincerely, I am so sorry for what has happened.

You are such a lovely person and knowing you is something that I could not trade for.

I pray for the best for you that one day you will get someone so much better that will bring you so much happiness you deserved.

I will always be there for you and I wish that that we can be friend again.

4 Nov 2018

From: Chae Ri

I’m not mad at you, if that is what you are thinking.

I’ve been avoiding you because I need time for myself.

I will heal and I’m fine. Don’t worry.

I will come back to you when the times come.

From: Baekhyun 

I will always be here for you.

She had been daydreaming remember her past that she did not hear when he called out her name. “How are you Baekhyun?” She divert the conversation as it was too tensed now.

“I’m good. Been busy with my current job now. I can’t believe that Sehun will settle down this early” She nodded and smiles as agreement. They all know Sehun always be the playful one during high school. “Do you know how he met with his fiancé?”

“She is a doctor at the hospital I’m working at, and also my best friend so they kind of meet each other because of me” Chae Ri responded to his question.

Baekhyun then look into her eyes and ask, “How about you then? Are you with anyone right now?”

She shakes her head playfully. “Well, I kind of busy with my job and focusing more for myself. You come alone?” In other words, she just wanted to see the face of his love.

“My girlfriend and I broke up about few months back and I don’t really have someone that can be my plus one today” He chuckles. “Well I guess, that is my karma?”

All she wanted is to avoid the topic at all cost, considering that it will play with her emotions, when she had move on completely and now living her good life. She then saw his eyes, how guilty he was, and his eyes telling her everything that he is ready for what she had hope in the past. This is why she avoid reunion; meeting Baekhyun again in never a good one.

She wanted to scream at this face that he was right, it may a karma for her heart that he had played before, but that will not make any justice for her. Why would she feel happy the fact that he has broken up with the girl? She had move on from her past and she would not turn her back yet.

If anything, she just wanted to completely come clear with Baekhyun for the last time, so that there will be no more thoughts that will linger on her head. Every single day for months, during the time she trying to heal again, she will ask if he eventually had a feeling, even in tiny form for her. All she wanted is the answer; that she was not the only person between them who harbour a feeling.  

Chae Ri sigh. “I just want to know something from you” She paused before asking, “Is there any chances, even for once, that you feel the same thing l had for you?”

“I do. I swear I can feel it, I keep denying the fact, but the truth was I do feel the same way. I loved you, Chae, or maybe I still do” He said in defeat. “But I was coward back then. I can differentiate which one of you I love most, and I don’t want to take a risk my letting my ex girlfriend go”

He then added, “But I lost you which is my biggest regret up until now. Chae Ri, I cherish you so much and that never change”

“I thought about this long time ago, when I decided to move on from you. I never regret every single moments when we are together, because you make me feel like I was loved, maybe that just me and you really made me happy” She said to Baekhyun.

At this point, he could not care less if he looks like he is begging her. “You made me happy too, sweetheart. I’m willing to do everything to make you happy once again, Chae”

“Hey, Baekhyun, that is all in the past. Lets just move on from this, okay?” She smiles and leave him as the event was about to start.

When she turned around, it is like his life flash in front of him. Her eyes is no longer the same lovely girl that never give up on him, but now a strong woman that will become everything as long as she determine. They no longer screaming pity and affection that she used to gives all to him, and maybe he was right, he had lost her.

Day by days, months passes, and after years, Baekhyun had been waiting for the day that he will see her again, we would say how much he felt sorry for and telling her that if he was given a chance to turn back the time, he will. He will cherish her like how deserved she is, and he will love with all his heart.

Baekhyun sigh again as the event started and the bride is entering the venue with her beautiful wedding dress. The dress itself is such a masterpiece, but the beautiful person that walked beside her is everything. The background is playing Adele – Make you feel my love which only make everything better. Chae Ri to Baekhyun, her beauty is timeless and that itself made him shed his tears. He can’t imagine the pain that she had gone through because of him.

On the altar, Sehun and his bride exchanging their vows, rings and close it up with such a romantic kiss. She is happy for both and wish that their marriage will everlasting till the end. True love have such a power that it will heal every broken heart; like a potion that cure a spell, Chae Ri feel so calm and overwhelming to witness it.

As much as she obsessed with fairytale love story, or seeing someone so happy with their partner, Chae Ri just smiles to herself and believe that one day, she will meet her partner that will be completing her life, just like the last piece of her life-puzzle. She is 25 years old; she still have a lot of things that she can discover, and she will achieve more.

“Chae Ri” Her movement to exit the venue halts when someone stopping her midway. She turned around and her eyes widen when she saw Baekhyun pulling out her wrist. “Don’t leave. Let start a new beginning, just me and you. I love you”

Her eyes soften and she let out the prettiest smiles that she have, slowly she place her delicate fingers on his face and caress it. She tip toed her heels and place sweet kiss on his right cheek. “I loved you, but that is history. You are such a good guy Baekhyun, one day you will meet someone as amazing as you. We are not meant to be together and this is our reality”

Make you feel my love – Adele

When the rain
Is blowing in your face
And the whole world
Is on your case
I could offer you
A warm embrace
To make you feel my love

When the evening shadows
And the stars appear
And there is no one there
To dry your tears
I could hold you
For a million years
To make you feel my love

I know you
Haven't made
Your mind up yet
But I would never
Do you wrong
I've known it
From the moment
That we met
No doubt in my mind
Where you belong

I'd go hungry
I'd go black and blue
I'd go crawling
Down the avenue
No, there's nothing
That I wouldn't do
To make you feel my love

The storms are raging
On the rolling sea
And on the highway of regret
Though winds of change
Are throwing wild and free
You ain't seen nothing
Like me yet

I could make you happy
Make your dreams come true
Nothing that I wouldn't do
Go to the ends
Of the Earth for you
To make you feel my love
To make you feel my love

A/N: This just came up that I felt like I want to write an epilogue for this story. This will be the last update for this story because let just be real here, the girl should be happy on her own. She had suffered much. 

Anway, on a bright side I'm on progress to update new chapter on my fluffy Baekhyun fanfic which his character super sweet that will bring you smile after crying for this sad chapter. Link as below: 

Darling

https://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/1425203/darling

Description

When you want the most handsome, college heartthrob— Byun Baekhyun as your boyfriend. What else can go wrong?

Foreword

“My name is Byul Dahee, we have the same surname”

“Sorry I don’t know you. Plus, my family name is Byun. It wasn’t same at all”

“I know. I just want to make a conversation with you”

“All of sudden? Why?”

“Because I like you, Byun Baekhyun”