Chapter 5
Roses And Passports [Changlix]“Okay, now where do I start?...” Felix mumbled.
“I don’t know; from the beginning maybe?” Chris suggested, raising his voice.
“Don’t yell at me! You’re not my mother!” Felix whined. “I spend twelve hours on a plane to see you and you’re not even happy about it!”
“If you’re saying that you came here just for me, I’m sorry, mate, I don’t believe you…” Chris smiled. “Who’s the emo guy?” he asked quietly, trying not to be heard by Changbin.
“Hey! Don’t call him that!”
“Whoa, why are you suddenly so offended?” Chris laughed, only to suddenly stop and stare at Felix. “Hold up…” he smirked. “He’s not your boyfriend, is he?”
“What?! No way! You’re that gay friend, not me! I’ve literally just met him!” Felix shouted.
“Yeah, right… Keep telling yourself that.” Chris elbowed the blonde.
“Ugh! You’re insufferable! I should have stayed in Sydney.” Felix sighed. “Talking ‘bout boyfriend, this Minho guy, he’s not ‘the cute guy from Starbucks’, is he?” Felix raised his eyebrow.
Chris froze and looked down, his blood rising to his cheeks. He tried mumbling a ‘no’, but failed miserably, causing Felix to burst out laughing.
They were sitting at a table in the corner of the shop while Changbin was conversing awkwardly with Minho between his orders. After he stopped laughing, Felix told Chris everything he needed to know, starting from his inability to write lyrics, the amusement park and the sudden decision to come to Korea, leaving out some minor details like the underground party and the tattoo. He was gonna find out anyway. Chris was like a mother; he knew when Felix was lying or hiding something, but this time he decided not to question it since he was still embarrassed by Felix finding out who he had a crush on.
The moon was already illuminating Seoul, and Minho had to close the shop, so Chris quickly offered to let Felix stay at his place. Just as the blonde was about to accept, Changbin stepped in, insisting that Felix should stay at his house, since his roommate was out of town and he felt lonely. Chris and Changbin argued a little while Minho and Felix got to know each other a little bit. He realized why Chris liked Minho: he was friendly, optimistic, funny, and his smile was the cutes thing he’d seen in a while. He also found out that Minho wanted to become a dancer, and he was attending a choreography school. Felix also knew how to dance. He’d been in a hip-hop group back in middle school, so they quickly found something in common.
Changbin somehow managed to convince Chris that Felix would be safe at his place, so before he could change his mind, Felix grabbed Felix’s hand and dragged him out of the café.
“And I’m that friend, right?” Chris shouted, watching the pair disappear into a crowd.
Changbin lived in a nice, relaxing neighborhood. His apartment was on the last floor of a tall office building, meaning that he was the only one living there permanently, since the offices usually closed by 5 PM. Changbin entered first and the lights.
“Hey! Turn those off! They’re burning my eyes!” somebody shouted.
“You’re here?!” Changbin asked frustrated.
Felix noticed a guy sitting on a couch in the middle of the room, watching TV. There were empty boxes of pizza and ice-cream scrambled all over the floor. There was also a pile of tissues on the table.
“No, you’re hallucinating. Of course I’m here!”
“She dumped you again, didn’t she?” Changbin asked, kicking one of the boxes across the room.
“That’s the second time this month!” the guy whined, pulling a blanket over his head.
Changbin walked towards him.
“It’s alright; you know you’ll get back together in less than a week.” he said, petting his head.
“You really think so?” the guy sniffed, pulling the blanket back down.
“I know so. Now clean your mess, we have guests.” Changbin scolded him.
“Oh, come on! Can’t you see I’m dying?!”
“How can you even live like this? I leave for a few weeks and I come back to this?!”
Felix stood quietly in the doorway, watching the two argue. He was too awkward to interrupt them, so he didn’t say a word. He just analyzed the guy. He was tall, extremely tall; maybe even a head taller than Changbin. He was well built and he was pretty handsome. He had short, black hair parted in the middle, plump lips and a small mole under his left eye. He seemed to be around his age, probably a few months older.
“Who’s the blondie?” he suddenly asked, scaring Felix a little bit.
“His name is Felix. He’s a friend.” Changbin quickly explained, dragging Felix’s suitcase into another room.
"Hello friend!"
Felix bowed his head politely and followed Changbin, not wanting to be left alone with the tall guy.
“Since this jerk didn’t bother to tell me he’s back, you’ll be staying in my room.” Changbin explained, placing Felix’s stuff down.
“A-Are you sure?” Felix shuttered. “I can call Chris and tell him to pick me up if that’s-“
“You are staying here.” Changbin smiled. “Now unpack your things. I’ll bring you something to eat.”
Felix did as he was told and unpacked his laptop first, throwing it on the bed before lying down on his stomach, swinging his legs in the air with a satisfied smile on his face. He opened a Word document and typed a few lyrics that he came up with during that day. He hummed softly, trying o create a melody for the lyrics. Changbin cleared his throat, as he entered, placing a box of fried chicken on the bed next to Felix.
“Composing?” he asked, sitting down next to Felix.
“Yup.” Felix simply said, stuffing his face with a chicken nugget.
Changbin reached out under the bed and pulled out a can of beer, opening it as he leaned in to see what Felix had written. The blonde reached out to grab the can, but Changbin quickly pulled it away.
“What are you doing?” he asked puzzled.
“Can I have some?” Felix asked sweetly.
“No way! You’re still a kid!”
“I’m not!” Felix protested, trying to grab the can again.
“Felix, no!”
“Please, just a sip!” Felix climbed onto Changbin’s lap in his attempt to grab the beer.
“Felix! I said no! Sit!” Changbin ordered.
“I’m not a dog.”
“Bad boy! Sit down! Sit!” Changbin joked.
“Changbin, don’t be mean!” Felix cried.
Before he knew it, Felix lost his balance and fell onto the floor head first, bumping his head against the floor. Changbin quickly placed his beer down and kneeled down next to Felix, trying to hold in his laughter. He helped him get up and analyzed the blonde’s injuries. He parted his bangs with his pointer fingers and noticed a blue bump starting to form in the middle of Felix’s forehead.
“Does it hurt?” Changbin asked, checking to see if Felix was hurt anywhere else.
“What kind of question is that?!” Felix asked annoyed.
“I was just asking, jeez…” Changbin frowned.
Changbin grabbed Felix’s head between his hands and stood up on his toes in order to peck Felix’s forehead. He made sure to be as gentle as possible in order not to hurt Felix, but the blonde still hissed at the touch, but he didn’t complain.
After he finished unpacking, Felix went back to composing while Changbin sat on the other side of the bed, sketching something. Felix was too immersed in his lyrics to notice the fact that Changbin had been staring at him for the past few minutes. He only noticed when he wanted to ask for a glass of water. Changbin quickly looked away embarrassed. Felix stood up and walked towards the brunette, hovering over his shoulder to see what he was drawing.
“I was inspired by your song…” Changbin explained, placing his pencil down.
Felix studied the design. There was a small boy dressed up in a suit looking into a big mirror at himself, except his reflection was wearing childish clothes.
“I was trying to illustrate how society forces us to grow up. You’re still a child, yet everyone wants you to be responsible. They want you to be mature, they want to grow up too fast and you don’t even get to see how being a child feels like. And then you look into the mirror and wonder why you’re so unhappy about your life… It’s because that’s what adults do. They forget to cherish little things like children do and they become way too concerned with the negative ones…” Changbin said blankly, sounding angered and upset. “But you wouldn’t understand… Nobody forced you to grow up and you’re lucky… You’re still a kid and I’m somehow angry at you for that. You have something I don’t have anymore…”
“You know…” Felix mumbled, placing his head on Changbin’s shoulder. “It’s never too late to act like a child. I think everyone has a child somewhere inside of them. You just need to bring it out!” Felix smiled.
“That was so cheesy it hurt.”
"Whatever. I really like the idea." Felix changed the subject.
"Thanks."
Felix paused for a second and scanned the drawing again.
“You think… maybe… I could get another tattoo today?” Felix asked shyly.
“You can’t be serious.”
“I am!”
“You gotta be kidding me. I knew you were crazy but this is insane!” Changbin laughed, closing his sketchbook.
“Please!”
“No.”
“Please~”
“Nope.”
“Pretty please!”
“No way!”
“Pretty, pretty, pretty please~” Felix begged.
“If I say yes will you shut up?”
“Yup.”
“Fine then!” Changbin gave up.
“Yay!” Felix squeaked.
“You said you’d shut up.”
“Sorry.”
“I can’t believe I’m doing this…” Changbin sighed, grabbing his ink and his tattoo gun.
Felix sat down on the bed and waited patiently for Changbin to finish.
“Where do you want this one?”
“Um… My inner forearm? I wanna be able to see it.”
“That’s going to be more painful. Are you sure?”
“Yeah. I can take it.” Felix assured Changbin, trying to be brave even though his heart was beating out of his chest.
Changbin sketched the design on transfer paper before he prepped Felix’s arm, holding his wrist gently. He loaded his tattoo gun and walked out, returning with a small towel, throwing it on Felix’s head.
“You might want something to bite on.”
~~~
Felix slowly woke up, starting to feel the pain in his arm. He plinked a few times, trying to adjust his eyes to the light. As he finally managed to process where he was and what had happened, he felt slow, steady breaths against his neck. He also noticed the arm wrapped around his waist. He smiled, flustered by the situation, but he didn’t move. He told himself it was because he didn’t want to wake Changbin up, not because he liked the sensation. He grabbed Changbin’s hand and pulled it closer, still smiling.
After a few minutes, Changbin groaned, slowly waking up. Felix panicked and closed his eyes, pretending to be asleep. As soon as the brunette was fully awake, he pulled his hand away, confused by the situation. He got out of bed, thinking that Felix was asleep. He went into the kitchen and poured himself some coffee before returning to his room. He sat down on the floor next to the bed, watching Felix as he ‘slept’. He reached out and checked the bump on Felix’s forehead, leaning closer to the blonde.
Felix waited for another peck on his forehead, but instead he felt Changbin’s cold breath against his lips. He panicked and froze, unable to open his eyes. Changbin slowly moved closer until his lips softly touched Felix’s.
After what felt like an eternity, he pulled away quickly, realizing what he had just done. He scrambled for his cup of coffee and ran into the bedroom, shutting the door behind him. Felix stood up, listening to the sound of water splashing inside as Changbin washed his face.
“What the is wrong with you?!” he heard Changbin whisper to his reflection in the mirror.
Felix heard Changbin’s monologue, but he wasn’t paying attention to his words. He was busy coping with the fact that Changbin was so disgusted with him. He was upset, confused and disappointed. He clenched his fists in anger, but his lips started trembling and his eyes filled with tears. He wasn’t angry. He was sad; so sad that he felt like running away. But he couldn’t. Although he didn’t want to admit it, he liked Changbin. He liked him in a weird way; in a way that confused him. He never had those types of feelings for a man before and it drove him mad.
As Felix was lost in his thoughts, Changbin left the bathroom, staring at Felix who looked like a crying mess in the middle of his bed. He rushed towards the blonde and pulled him close to his chest, his back in order to calm him down. Felix slowly pulled himself back together and stopped crying.
“What happened?” Changbin asked concerned.
“I had a nightmare.” Felix lied.
“Really? What did you dream of?”
“I dreamt that you hated me.”
“Why would I hate you? That’s ridiculous!” Changbin chuckled awkwardly.
“Yeah… ridiculous…” the blonde repeated.
“Felix, what makes you think I hate you?”
“Because…” Felix started. “you ran away…”
“What do you mean?”
Felix looked up at Changbin, tears falling down his cheeks again.
“Why do you make me feel this way?!” he attempted to shout. “Why are you playing with my feelings like that?!”
“Felix, I’m sor-“
“You’re not sorry!” Felix pulled away. “If you cared you wouldn’t have kissed me in the first place!”
Felix stood up, grabbing his phone and left the apartment, running down the stairs and out of the building. He ran as fast as he could, not caring where he ended up. He wanted to be alone. He needed time to clear his mind and get his thoughts straight. He ran into a park before stopping to catch his breath. He looked behind him, hoping to see Changbin running after him, but there was nobody there. He broke down crying again and waddled to a bench and sat down for a while, watching people going about their lives peacefully. A few people passed by and ignored him, other whispered, others stopped and stared. A little girl even pointed at him and asked her mother why he was sad. He decided that a busy park wasn’t the best place to have a mental breakdown, so he stood up and walked out of the park, into an empty parking lot. He sat down on the cold pavement and covered his face, sobbing quietly.
The sound of something falling next to him made him look up. There was a pair of shoes in front of him.
“You could have at least taken your shoes. I don’t run fast anyway.” Changbin smiled.
“Thanks…” Felix mumbled, putting on his shoes.
“I’m sorry for confusing you.” Changbin affirmed, kneeling down to tie Felix’s shoe laces. “I’m not sorry for kissing you. I’m confused too, you know?” he sat down next to Felix. “I guess we’re both confused. That makes us match well, doesn’t it?”
Felix placed his head on Changbin’s shoulder and sighed.
“Now that I think about it, I wasn’t confused. I was just scared that you’d reject me.”
“But I didn’t.”
“I guess we can be confused together now…” Changbin suggested.
“Sounds nice…” Felix agreed.
The silence was interrupted by the sound of sirens in the distance. Changbin scrambled to get up and helped Felix up before noticing four police cars heading in their direction.
“Felix!” Changbin said sternly. “Run."
I want to apologize for not updating in such a long time. I had my final exams and I went on a short vacation with my family. In these past few weeks I worked on something special though:
A trailer for the story!
Watch it here
In the end you'll see
Who's fake,
Who's true,
And who will risk it all for you.
Who's fake,
Who's true,
And who will risk it all for you.
Comments