Author's note: I'm sorry for the late update. I'm a bad author for making you wait. I cried when I wrote this chapter and I'll try to update soon for chapter 6. This story is making me weak everytime. I don't know what to feel about this. Anyway, thank you for subscribing! Enjoy reading!

Chapter Five.

There are a lot of risks in love. Without assurance, you bet your heart and that’s okay.

Heechul opens the message on his phone. He didn’t sleep last night and until now he is thinking about Yunho. He didn’t know what happened; it feels like breaking in a span of seconds. He knew that he loves the man. He is sure about that but what is holding him back is his career. He cannot understand anymore. He wants to rest. He wants to be alone. As he was thinking, he looks at his phone and realized that there’s a message from Jaejoong.

Hyung, can we talk?

Right. He needs his cousin now. No one will understand except for his cousin and so he replied.

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Jaejoong is waiting at the restaurant for Heechul. He wants to talk with Heechul and ask him what happened. It will hurt him for sure but Heechul is his only family, he considered him a family. The man Heechul was breaking is the man he longed to love. He felt like he needed to fix this. It will hurt him, but he cannot take it when the two most important people in his life were breaking apart.

Last night, he did not expect it. He did not expect Yunho to kiss him. He comforts the man until Yunho decided to go home already. As much as he wants Yunho to be with him, he cannot do it. He knew the man is breaking. Yunho needs him for comfort and besides he was with him when Yunho was planning for the proposal. He saw how much he loves Heechul and with that clear conclusion, he is nowhere to be in between his hyung and Yunho. It hurts really when the person you love is near yet you know that there’s a barricade between the two of you and makes you a result of one sided love. But Jaejoong will endure. He will. He should.

He’s back in reality when he saw Heechul entering the restaurant. Heechul went to Jaejoong immediately.

“Jaejoong ah.” Heechul said as he hugs the man. He feels like crying but he stops himself.

“Hyung ah, are you okay?” Jaejoong said as the man pulled from the hug.

Heechul and Jaejoong sit face to face. He looks at his hyung and he notice the dark shade under his eyes that proves the man did not sleep the whole night and probably cried his heart out.

“Jae, I don’t know what happened. It’s just that, I’m so lost. I don’t know what to do. I love Yunho, really.” Heechul says as he looks at Jaejoong.

“Hyung, I was with Yunho when he planned the proposal. I helped him.”

“I’m sorry. I feel sorry for him, Jaejoong ah. I just… I don’t know what to do.” The man is crying now as he still tries to compose himself but the pain is too much.

“Why, Hyung? Why did you not accept it?”

“I’m scared Jaejoong ah. I know it’s okay for us to settle down but I think about my career. I think about Grandpa. I don’t want to settle down now. I hope Yunho understands me. I just want to focus with my career.” Heechul said and he notice the frown that is forming on Jaejoong’s face.

“Hyung, this is not okay. Do you love him?” Jaejoong asks him. He cannot accept the reason. Heechul just want to focus on his career? He is successful now! What is this person saying?

“I do, Jae. I do love him.”

“If you have to choose between your career and Yunho, what will you choose?” Jaejoong said. He cannot believe it.

“Jae.. that’s what Yunho asked me last night.”

“Then answer me now, Hyung.”

“Jae..”

“Damn it! Answer me hyung! I cannot believe this!”

“Jae, please stop. I know you will understand me. You have your—“

“No! Hyung, Yunho is with you ever since. He was with you when get pressured with your career. He was with you when you got hurt because you did not reach Grandpa’s expectation. He was with you in your hardships. He was with you when you’re hurting, he was with you until now Hyung. He waited for you for almost a decade Hyung because he knew that you wanted to be successful with your career and make Grandpa proud and you did it right?” Jaejoong is now looking at him.

Heechul cannot answer Jaejoong. The man is angry and he knew it.

“He loves you so much. He was excited for the proposal. He was excited to be with you. You should see his smile hyung, you should see how happy he is when planned everything. You should see the way he talks about you with me. That man, he will do everything to be with you. He was just asking you to be with him. To have your own family with him. Hyung, is that too much to ask? I was with him last night and he’s broken. He’s broken that he thinks he is not good enough for you. So answer me now, what will you choose hyung?” Jaejoong’s tears is threatening to fall. He cannot believe what his hyung was telling him. He feels hurt. He wants to know if it’s worth the pain for them to be together. But now with that simple question his hyung cannot answer, he doubt that it will be worth it. He is hurting for Yunho. He is hurting for the man he longed to hold with his arms.

“I’m sorry, Jae. I really want to focus on my career. Please tell Yunho that—“

“So that’s it hyung?”

“I’m sorry, Jae. “

“I can’t believe this. I thought it’s all worth the pain hyung.”

“I knew you love him, Jae. I knew it. Please take care of him. I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.” Heechul stand up but even before he went out, Jaejoong saw the tears falling. His hyung is crying but for what? He chose this. He felt everything heavy. He just wants to go back to Japan but Yunho.. he cannot leave him.

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Yunho did not go to his office today. He is in his bed and just burry himself with his pillows. He talked to his parents just this morning and told them about the proposal. His parents are in Japan now and they decided to go home for Yunho but the man said that it’s okay and that he’s fine. He heard a knock on his door and he immediately went to look at it. He open the door and slightly smile to his visitor.

“Jaejoong ah. Come