Jessica POV

I don’t think I have ever felt so confused in my life. My muscles tensed as I take a sip of my wine, trying to get myself relax, attempting to blend. Hell, I am so freaking nervous, the wine squelched as I drink, it is dripping down my chin. Nice. I bring my finger upward, swiping the drips to my mouth and it with my tongue. Not a bad Cabernet Sauvignon. I tilt my head to the side, discreetly stealing glances at the nondescript bar. In one quick look, I see bunch of bulky guys sitting around drinking beer and ing some stuff. One of them looks at me in the eye and smirks, and I quickly turn around, grab the wine glass and take another big gulp. Relax, Jessica.

The glass feels cool in my grip as I dig my head down, attempting to anchor myself small. Once again, I scan the crowd quickly and heave a huge relief knowing the bulky guy is no longer paying any attention to me. Wear a white shirt, the text message says. And wait on bar stools. Great, but how can I identify her? The person doesn’t even tell me hername. I smooth my skirt, crossing my legs. And how long should I wait? Every single staff in my company knows I hate waiting. And this freaking anonymous messenger….agenthas made me waited for more than twenty minutes. It’s certainly not a good first impression.

I have got heaps of urgent paper works to be done and tons of missed calls to be called back. And a meeting with the Japanese retailer tonight. , I’ve definitely had to cancel this. Grabbing my phone, I immediately text Seohyun, my personal assistant to give a call to the retailer to reschedule the meeting. A clutter mess. The story of my current life. I force my spine straight, disliking the self-piteous direction of my inner thoughts. I let out a huge breath. It is indeed an epitome of an enigmatic mess.A total confusion. And my life turns upside down since I have discovered the ‘truth.’

2 weeks ago

“Don’t worry, Seohyun. I’ll be back in an hour.” I said, breezing through the doors of Blanc & Eclare before hanging up my phone. The screen turned back into the pictures of me together with my late mother, we’re hugging each other. I stared at the wallpaper for few seconds and rushes of emotions filled me. Ever since my mother died, I’d been living on my own as an orphan and took over the company she’d built from the scratch. Everyone missed her and I terribly missed her. My eyes shifted towards the majestic sky rise building that was fully owned by Jung Enterprises. I hoped I made you proud, mom.

Within few minutes, my phone beeped again, showing 3 incoming WhatsApp chats from Jaejoong.

Jaejoong:

Hon, I’ll be running late. Just wait at Blanc.

Jaejoong:

I’ll come and pick you up.

Jaejoong:

Love you J.

Again. My grief disappeared and replaced by fresh annoyance as I read Jaejoong’s message. It’s been more than two weeks that Jaejoong had been running late for our afternoon lunch date. And when I asked him about the reason, he always made the same excuse. It’s about his company’s future investors whom he’s dealing with. “It’s boring and not very exciting, let’s talk about something else.” That’s how Jaejoong stopped me from asking further questions. At first, I bought into it but it’s getting even more suspicious because he’s showing an unhappy look when I kept questioning his lateness. A pit was beginning to form in my stomach. He lied. He kept a secret from me. Or was he cheating behind my back? I tightened my grip on my phone and close my eyes, couldn’t believe I was so ignorant. Either I was being cheated in every sense of the word or he was intentionally hiding something from me, I didn’t want to put up with his liar game anymore. It made me feel dumb and I had enough of playing dumb.

But you’d been so dumb for the past 7 years, Jessica. 7 years since the day you saw her.

My heart stuttered, my breath faltering. 7 years since sheleft my house. Leaving me. And since that very day I always felt a huge hole inside of me that had left me inconsolable. And it’s driving me insane because I was coping day to day in my own way. Busying myself with Blanc & Eclare. Attended fashion weeks. Travelling. I had even agreed to date someone, a freaking liar, after being a novice for 7 years. I sighed, part of me knew that eventually me and Jaejoong would break up. That we weren’t meant for each other.

I was indeed losing myself because being with someone else other than her just didn’t feel right. And it was all my fault.

I took a deep breath, attempting to erase the unbidden memories of her. A warm spring. . . .her lips tasting me, her body moulding perfectly with mine. . .

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