I drummed my fingers impatiently against my thigh as I listened to the dial tone.

Come on, bff, pick up the phone.

"Yeoboseoyo?"

Finally! I put on my best imitation of the British accent and my gruffest voice.

"May I speak to Ms Lalisa Manoban please?"

Lisa switched to English immediately. "Yes, speaking?"

"This is Chief Inspector Barnaby from the Scotland Yard. Ms Manoban, are you aware that there are some pictures of you circulating on the internet?"

"P—pictures?"

"Yes ma'am."

I could tell that my blonde friend had stopped breathing.

"I am afraid to inform you that several members of the public have been admitted to the mental institution after seeing these pictures – in which you were prancing around as an alien?."

"Wha—"

It was so funny that I couldn't stop myself from letting out a chuckle.

"Jennie Kim!"

"Ow, Lisa, not so loud!" I jerked the phone away from my ear, but it was too late. "I think my eardrum just bursted…"

"Serves you right! And what the hell are you doing calling me at this time? Aren't you supposed to be working?"

I sighed. "They're at it again, Lisa. Filming's stopped for the time being."

"Again? What's it about this time?"

"I don't know, I don't understand what they're saying."

That's right. Welcome to War of the Worlds, episode 35, starring Cleopatra and Jewel girl. Not the show we're filming but featuring the same two actresses.

What I've quickly learned over the last few days was that those two could never get past filming a scene without bickering, which would in turn always escalate into a full blown armed conflict. I've long lost count of the number of times we've had to stop work because bombs were discharging, the ground was shaking, and bullets were flying left, right and centre.

So anyway, here I was, sitting in the stairwell in a bid to escape from the warzone.

I heard a sound and turned. The door to the stairwell was open and a girl had poked her head through the gap.

"Umm, Jennie? Jisoo-ssi is looking for you."

Crap. What is it now?

"Thanks, Bom."

I put the phone back against my ear. "I've been summoned by her royal highness. Talk to you later."

"Sure thing. Have fun, Jennie," Lisa said casually.

"Shut up. Bye!"

I stood up and smiled at the girl standing at the door. Bom was CL's personal assistant. She's also a real sweet kid, and we got along pretty well. Like CL, she spoke flawless English. Unfortunately for her though, that meant that she was automatically thrown the task of acting as the go-between Ice Princess and I.

"So is the war over?" I asked as I followed her back into the studio.

Bom giggled. "Temporary ceasefire."

I rolled my eyes.

The studio was half-empty. It seemed that the crew has decided to break for lunch. Cleopatra and Jewel girl stood stiffly a distance apart, each of them glaring in opposite directions at nothing in particular. The few souls who were brave (read: foolhardy) enough to remain on the set were literally tiptoeing around them as they went about their businesses, as if afraid that the landmines would be set off at any moment.

I felt increasingly apprehensive as I approached Jewel girl. What can I say? From day one, the blasted woman had seemed bent on making life hell for me. Just to quote some examples:

Round One…

Bom tapped me on the shoulder. "Jennie?"

"Yes?"

"Jisoo-ssi wants ramen for lunch. But she wants them from a particular shop."

"Okay," I said as I gingerly placed the enormous pile of scripts I was carrying on the table. "Where is the shop?"

"Umm… the shop is rather far away. It is actually in a small town outside Seoul."

I raised my eyebrows. "I see. Can I get Mino to give me a ride there then?"

"Ah, Jennie, I'm sorry…" Bom looked at me apologetically. "The vans are used only by the artistes, so you'll have to make your own way there."

She then took out a gigantic map to point out the place to me. As she rattled on with the directions, my eyebrows reached dangerous heights.

A two-hour train ride, a thirty minutes bus ride plus a hike through the countryside just because she wants to eat ramen?

And that's just one-way!

I glanced at culprit, who was barely concealing the grin on her face.

Jewel girl 1, Jennie 0

Round Two…

"Here you go," I said as I passed the noodles over to Bom. My poor posterior was still numb from the long and bumpy rides which I had to endure.

"Thanks!"

"Ah…" The girl wore a perplexed expression as she rummaged through the bag. "Jennie?"

"Yes?"

"Where are the chopsticks?"

I mouthed a big "oh" as I slapped my forehead dramatically. "Urggggggh. I forgot all about the chopsticks."

I then picked up two plastic spoons from the bag and wedged them between my fingers, like one would hold a pair of chopsticks. I grinned.

"But, you know, I've two spoons here, so she can make do with them?" I said cheerfully.

I could almost see the smoke drift out from Jewel girl's ears.

Jennie 1, Jewel girl 1

Round Three…

"Ramen again?"

Bom nodded her head.

"Alright, ramen coming up," I checked my watch, "in about five hours."

"Jennie, she wants it from a different shop this time."

I raised an eyebrow. "What? Wait, let me guess, Siberia? Please tell her to pre-order a month in advance."

Bom chuckled softly.

"It's much nearer this time. Aori Ramen."

"Really?" I looked at her suspiciously.

But I had no choice. Orders are orders after all.

"What on earth..." I slumped against the door. I had actually made it back alive.

"Jennie, are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm okay, except that I was nearly mauled by a cat wielding a huge wooden sword!"

My instincts were right about the new restaurant. It was even worse than the first. On reaching the shop, I was greeted by an extremely enthusiastic cook.

Time I took: 3 hours.

I heard a snort behind me. No prize for guessing who it was.

Jewel girl 1, Jennie 2

Well, you get the idea. It's round eleven now and I'm currently in the lead. And as you can imagine, I'm so absolutely looking forward to what she had planned this time round.

Bom began, "Jisoo-ssi would like you to—"

CL cut in immediately. "She wants you to buy a pregnancy test kit for her."

Jewel girl let out a loud protest in Korean. Before stopping herself, mid-sentence and covering .

I was stunned. "You... You understood her?"

CL smirked. "That's right. Jisoo understands some English. Not as well as me, of course."

I narrowed my eyes. All this time she understood what I was saying? All this time poor Bom had to act as our intermediary when she understood what I was saying?

All this time she was making me act like a fool?

It took whatever zen-ness I had in my DNA to restrain myself from choking the life out of her.

Breathe, Jennie, breathe.

I counted from one to ten before looking up at the girl. Her black eyes were swirling with emotions. Was it guilt? Embarrassment? I didn't give a damn.

"Please excuse me, Jisoo-ssi, while I grab the pregnancy test kit."

With that, I turned and left the studio.

"She's driving me nuts!" I complained about the umpteenth time that evening.

I turned to face my cousin, who had decided to drop by Lisa's apartment for a visit. "And it's all your fault!"

Jiyong's eyes widened. "My fault? I didn't ask you to pay off my rent for me!"

"I don't care!" I huffed. Yes, I can be a little unreasoning when I'm annoyed.

I shifted irritably on the couch and hugged a cushion. "It was just an accident! Why is she behaving like I committed some heinous crime?"

"Well…" Jiyong pressed his palm to his cheek thoughtfully.

I sensed something in his voice. "What is it?"

Jiyong leaned towards me and lowered her voice. "I heard from CL that Jisoo is pissed because…"

He grinned and announced loudly. "You stole her first kiss."

I sat bolt upright. "What? !"

For once I fumbled for the words. "Wh—what do you mean her first kiss? Isn't she an actress? W—won't she have those, you know, smoochy scenes already?"

I snapped my head towards my best friend on the opposite couch, who looked like she was suffering from seizure. "And you! Stop laughing!"

"Ah-ha! That's where you're wrong. The Ice Princess is famous for refusing to do any kissing scenes." Jiyong wore a smug expression as he folded his arms.

"B—but! It's still an accident!" It was my first kiss too, alright, but do I look like I'm on a murderous rampage?

"She was of the impression that you were a fangirl up to no good."

Me? A fangirl? Okay, now that's insulting.

"Why the heck would I make myself trip just so that I could kiss her?" The idea's plain ridiculous!

"Ah-ha. Wrong again. Plenty of others have tried the same trick before."

"But congratulations, Jennie, you're the only one who succeeded."

I collapsed back onto the couch and covered my face with my hands. "Oh my god, so this is what the whole thing is about? She thinks that I'm working as her personal assistant because I'm some moronic fangirl trying to get close to her?"

Jiyong shrugged. "Maybe."

I lay on the couch, buried under a mountain of cushions. At the back of my mind, I was rather relieved that Jiyong seemed okay about the whole fracas. For a period of time, she was, erm, a little obsessed about me. At least now she's not threatening to lay waste to everyone in the area.

Ah, what am I thinking? The issue at hand is that creature called Kim Jisoo. I lay motionlessly for about five minutes before I finally sat up with a jolt.

This must stop.

"Lisa!"

My blonde friend looked frightened. Perhaps it's because I had a maniacal glint in my eyes.

"I need your help."

The next day came and went quickly. Surprisingly I wasn't sent on any errands. Maybe Jewel girl was afraid that I would explode in her face. When filming wrapped up for the day, I trailed her back to her dressing room and jammed my foot in the door.

"We need to talk."

Jewel girl eyed me warily, as if she's going to execute some crazy Kungfu move to throw me out of her room. I exhaled heavily. Geez, it was not like I was going to assault her.

I fished out a piece of paper from my jeans pocket and unfolded it. I had asked Lisa to translate what I wanted to say in Korean, just so that Jewel girl could understand me once and for all. I read out from the paper, or at least what it was supposed to read.

"I'm not your fangirl. I repeat, I am not your fangirl. What happened at the party was just an accident. I took on this job in a moment of pure stupidity but as far-fetched as that sounds, no, you are not responsible for it."

"That's all." I stuffed the paper back into my pocket and strode out of the room. Jewel girl had a rather peculiar expression on her face when I left.

Now, I can only hope that Lisa did not play a prank on me by altering the words to read something dumb like "I love you deep, deep and I want to make babies with you."

Or did she?