> Byulyi: hey, nerd

> Yongsun: What?

> Byulyi: i know you're all snuggled up and lovey-dovey with you homework, but im bored

> Yongsun: Then do something, texting me won't solve your problem.

> Byulyi: it will as soon as you drop your work, and join me to get chicken?

> Byulyi: right?

...

> Byulyi: yongsun?

...

> Byulyi: you know that i see that you've read the message, right?

> Yongsun: I'm meeting Eric later Byulyi, I'm sorry.

Moon Byulyi's eyebrow's furrowed reading the last reply. Of course she was gonna hang out with Eric. She had expected that answer, but why did it still feel sour actually reading it? It wasn't like it was a surprise, every wekkend after she finished her homework, she would go meet Eric, because they couldn't meet during the week cue to them going to different colleges. Byulyi could understand that, but it wasn't even like they were officially together yet. She thought that Yongsun could atleast save her one weekend to hang out, but no. Her friend was falling for him. Byulyi quickly shook her head to get her mind back on the conversation, before going at it again on her phone.

> Byulyi: aah, yongggg!!! what about me? have you forgotten you BESTEST FRIEND in the whole entire world

> Byulyi: i feel abandoned, left alone in a ditch to die

> Yongsun: Tch, dont be dramatic, you literally hang out with me every day at school. You should be tired of me at this point if anything.

> Byulyi: how can i ever grow tired of your beautful face?

> Byulyi: yongsun?

> Yongsun: See you on monday, Byulyi.

Byulyi let out a low laugh, imagining Yongsun's reaction at her message. Teasing each other like that was normal between them, but Byulyi was definitely the best at it. Yongsun would make her attempts, but Byulyi always had an answer that would make the other girl so flustered she was practically pink, followed by a slap to the arm and silence. ''I betcha if you could slap someone through technology, my arm would hurt now.'' Byulyi thought to herself.

She exited Kakaotalk, and opened Instagram, scrolling down the feed. Her bedroom was dark because the curtain was pulled over the window and she hadn't gotten up to turn on the lights. Here she was, saturday evening, alone and lying on her, scrolling on the phone like some loser, because her best friend ditched her to hang out with some guy she'd just met two months ago. They had known each other since first grade. Her finger stopped the scrolling as a photo of the two of them popped up, Yongsun and Eric. It was a selfie they took when they were at an amusement park, with stupid, matching hats on their heads and the biggest grins. Byulyi couldn't help but click on the comments and read through them.

'cuteeee'

'Ah, date already!'

'I'm jealous~'

'I want it!'

'Handsome boy, pretty girl~ hehehe'

Byulyi went out of the photo without liking it, and went on to her own profile. She didn't need to scroll far to find a selfie with herself and Yongsun, and she clicked on it. Her eyes studies her friends face for a bit, before letting her finger click the comment button. 

'Pretty!!! Next time, I want to eat meat with you two too.'

One comment, from Wheein, a girl a couple years younger than them from school. She always used to cling to them back in the day, and dragged her best friend Hyejin along, and Yongsun and Byulyi, though a bit annoyed at first, learned to grow fond of them. And Hyejin and Wheein learned to get used to their endless teasing and flirting. Both the two younger girls had been convinced that Byulyi and Yongsun liked each other, and if it hadn't been for the country they lived in and their view on that type of relationship, they would have been together. So it was a shocker  for the two when Yongsun had taken interest in Eric that night two months ago. 

That night. Thinking about the moment she looked over at Yongsun, her Youngsun, and seeing her eyes look at him with that helpless stare, the same way she would occationally look at her, at 2am in the dark room only lit up by their phones and candles, had felt like a punch in the stomach. Like all air had left her body for a second, making her whole body freeze, before the realisation had hit her. 

Frustration fills her to this day thinking about the moment Yongsun asked ''Do you know him?'', cheeks red as roses, and she had gived her a smile in response before going over to him. A few short minutes later, she had introduced them to each other. 

Why did she do that? Why couldn't she just shook her head and told her ''No, I'm sorry, no idea.'', and then dragged Yongsun away to dance or get something to drink. No, she had to be cheeky and stupid, try to make her uncomfortable by bringing the handsome guy over. 'Surely, she must get too embarrased to talk. She'll look at me with anger in her yes, and I'll wink back at her, before excusing us and leaving the scene. No, of course it doesn't go like that. They click like a match made in heaven, and you just let her go. Walked her right into it, great job'

A long sight left . Byulyi went back to scrolling. Thinking about it for too long, thinking about them for too long, was something she wouldn't allow herself. Jealousy wasn't something she should feel. Herself liking Yongsun, that wasn't normal or accepted. It's weird, girls should fall for boys and boys should fall for girls. 'That's how it is, isn't it?'  Besides, she knew what was the most important to her, what she wanted the most.

Yongsun's happiness.

As long as her sun was happy, she was happy. They would still continue to joke around, hang out together, share secrets, hold hands, exchange texts, go on trips, gossip and complain, and be best friends. She wouldn't lose her completely, she would still be able to keep her in her life.

But how much she tried, deep inside she still wanted her. However, Yongsun could never be happy with her, this country is too conservative for that. It's filled with judgemental people. They would get stared down, get comments, be treated differently. None of those things are things she wanted for her. Therefore, Yongsun could never know Byulyi's real feelings. Maybe it was a good thing her friend was falling for someone society would accept. A man who could take care of her, who could take her on dates and spoil her and kiss her in public.  

A frustrated sigh escaped as she dropped her phone on her side and placed har hands over her face.

''Stupid, stupid, stupid!'' she said, while hitting her own head. It's so frustrating not being able to escape your own mind and thoughts. Because even though how much she pretended to only be her friend and push away her true feelings, they still came crawling back in moments like this, on a saturday evening alone with nothing else but her mind.

Bzzzz. Her phone screen vibrated and lit up, indicating she got a message. She let one of her hands leave her face and picked up the phone again, holding it in front of her face.

> Yongsun: Hey. You're not upset, right?

Byulyi quickly unlocked the phone, thinking for a second, before typing out a reply, with half a smile on her face.

> Byulyi: you've broken my heart into a million pieces

____________________________________________________________________

au: anyone like hamilton? think of byulyi as angelica and yongsun as weird mixture of eliza and hamilton (kinda)