Since then, Jaehyun had become such a mess when it came to the songwriting thing, and time was running out until he had to have it finished.

“I’m thinking maybe a bit slower, but not too slow, just right -”

“Do you want the bass to hit every first, or third?”

“Um, whatever sounds good, I’m -”

“So, slow but not too slow… I’m thinking 88 BPM?”

“Doyoung, I don’t know actually how -”

Jaehyun had gone over to Doyoung’s place on the guise that the two would review for the exam they were classmates in. But half an hour into their study session Doyoung decided to just get on with what Jaehyun really came for.

“So what do you want me to do?” Doyoung asks, spinning on the swivel chair he was sat on, in front of the big computer, mix pad placed on his lap. He places his arm on the armrest and rests his chin on his palm, completely done with whatever his best friend has planned.

“I… don’t actually have one clear picture yet. Of what I want to do. I’m in a bit of a slump with the direction I’m taking with this song,” Jaehyun confesses from his position on Doyoung’s bed.

Doyoung’s room is spacious. There’s his bed on one side. On another side is a desk and shelves designated for his studying, with a laptop dedicated solely for schoolwork. On the other side, in front of a huge desktop computer, is where Doyoung sits right now. Also in his ‘hobby area’ are big speakers, a row of expensive-looking headphones on a rack, a studio microphone on an overhead stand, and some audio interface Jaehyun has no idea what’s used for. When Doyoung said he still plays, he thought it would be on a real drum set or something, but apparently that's a bit old school now.

Doyoung lets out an exasperated sigh before turning back around, trying to create a beat with a software Jaehyun has no idea how to use. “How do you expect me, Doyoung, to help you when you, my friend, can not even help yourself?”

“Shut up.”

“Well, tell me about any vague idea you have then. Show me the progress you’ve made.”

Jaehyun searches his brain for a reply. “Um, I feel… I want it to feel like I’m in love. Happy, yet also confused. Lost and afraid. But also, safe. I feel… I want it to feel ambivalent.” Jaehyun gives up and lays on the bed, placing his arm over his eyes, tired. “I’ll play the guitar, of course.”

“That’s very… vague. I know I said vague but,” Doyoung lets out yet another exasperated sigh, “I’ll see what I can do.”

Doyoung is in the middle of clicking things on his computer, trying things out with his mixpad, and Jaehyun is left to himself since he couldn’t hear anything through Doyoung’s fancy headphones. Doyoung’s phone rings in a notification alert, and Jaehyun grabs it off the bedside table. The name on the notifications bar makes him sit up.

“Wait, you’ve been talking to that - that Taeyong guy?”

“What, you don’t like him? He’s pretty cool,” Doyoung takes one headphone off his ear. “He asked for my number that time in the park, and we exchanged. Even agreed to hang out some time. You know, while you were busy talking to your baby girl -”

“Hang out!?”

“Chill, dude. The heck,” Doyoung turns to face the bed. “What’d he say?”

“He’s asking if you’ve seen that new superhero movie already.”

“Tell him no, not yet.”

“Fine,” Jaehyun starts typing but then he realizes, “You’re watching it with him? You didn’t ask me?”

“You literally said before that superhero movies bore you.”

Jaehyun narrows his eyes, “You also literally said before that I’m the best friend.”

“Jaehyun, my God. What’s your deal with Taeyong, I swear -”

“Nothing! There’s nothing,” Jaehyun interrupts while tapping the send button unnecessarily hard.

“You’re just jealous.”

Jaehyun almost breaks his neck at the speed of which his head turned. “What?” Jealous?

“Jealous that me,” Doyoung turns around to the computer again, adding effects to the drums as he puts both headphones back on, “Doyoung, your best - wait no, scratch that - your only friend,” he does something on the mix pad, “might like this Taeyong guy more than I tolerate you.”

Jaehyun’s heart starts slowing down as he comes down from a state of alarm. He thought he’d been too obvious that even Doyoung - that dense - had caught onto something.

“Go die in a ditch.”

“If I die, then who’s going to be your friend?” Doyoung says slowly, in a fake sad tone, as if Jaehyun were a child. “Oh wait,” he exclaims, “what about that girl you’ve been talking to the past few weeks? Hmm?” Jaehyun can’t see it but he hears the smirk on Doyoung’s stupid face.

“Yeah. It feels nice actually having intelligent conversation sometimes.”

Ignoring the jab, Doyoung takes off his headphones and reaches it to Jaehyun. “You, come here.”

Jaehyun walks over and puts them on without a word, anticipating what Doyoung had created. Jaehyun knows he was good at what he does just by looking at his fancy equipment, but he knows he has a creative mind capable of good things as well. That’s why he went to his best friend for this purpose in the first place. Doyoung presses the spacebar and Jaehyun can’t stop the smile from slowly spreading on his face.

“You’re welcome,” Doyoung whispers with a smug grin.

===

“Doyoung, can you export this so I can put it on my phone and listen to it at home?” Asks Jaehyun as he prepares to go home

“Yeah sure, I’ll just email it to you” Doyoung turns to his computer, clicking something “Done, so.. I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Yeah, I’ll see you tomorrow, bye thanks again!” said Jaehyun picking up his bag and exits Doyoung’s room

Sun is setting as Jaehyun walks back home. The orange hue of the sun mixed with the dark blue of the coming night sky accompany Jaehyun as he waited for his bus ride back to his house. Is the sky looking especially prettier today or is he just feeling happy? He thought to himself as he spaced out thinking that his song is coming together, closer to where he would want it to be. He thought that it’s been sometime since he’s actually happy with what he’s doing, what he’s working on. All these times the work that he did for his school and for his dad especially feels more like a chore than doing things for himself. He thinks to himself that this is the right decision, and whatever outcome the song writing competition will be, he’ll be satisfied with just how he’s taking a step to do something for himself for once.

Arriving home, Jaehyun go straight to his room. All the way back home he was trying to access the file that Doyoung sent to his email but his phone is not cooperating with him as he’s trying to download it. Opening his laptop, Jaehyun signs in to his email account and downloaded Doyoung’s music file. He plugs in his speaker to his laptop and plays the beat that Doyoung made for him today. He listens to it and shakes his head while smiling. He’s glad that he decided to ask for Doyoung’s help as this is just exactly what he wants. Jaehyun repeated the beat several times while he strums his guitar and try to sing his written lyric, not realizing someone has entered the room.

“I thought I heard loud music from here, was not expecting you to go back to your useless hobby” a stern voice coming from Jaehyun’s door.

“What are you doing here?” Jaehyun stopped playing his guitar when he heard his dad

“You’re still living under my roof Jaehyun, I can do whatever I want in my house. What are you doing?” Jaehyun’s dad asks with a hint of angriness in his voice

“Doing my useless hobby” Jaehyun said still holding guitar on his hand and looking straight to his laptop

“Look at me when I’m talking with you”

“What do you want?” Jaehyun turns around to face his dad

“You know what I want. Stop playing around and be an adult, I just checked back with your school and your grades aren’t looking better. I am really disappointed in you, you’re old enough to understand that this is what’s best for you” Jaehyun’s dad sighs

“I’m not having this conversation with you” Jaehyun shakes his head

“Jaehyun just. Don’t make this harder for both of us” Jaehyun’s dad said as he leaves the room

When the door closes, Jaehyun sighs, the day was going so well so far until his dad decided to barge in like that. ‘Useless hobby’ that’s what his dad always said to him, or ‘useless career path’. From when Jaehyun was a child his dad was always very close-minded. His dad always told Jaehyun that the only way for Jaehyun to survive in this world was to choose the career path that his dad chosen for him. The career path that supposedly would make him the most money, because obviously that’s the only way you can be happy, from financial stability.

Jaehyun don’t remember exactly why, but maybe, maybe his dad’s stubbornness was why his mom left when he was young. Jaehyun’s mom left when he was seven. He doesn’t remember his mom all that clearly, but he knows that his mom was a painter. He never asked his dad either, why his mom left. All he knows is that for a brief period of time his dad when his mom was still around, his dad was happy. After she left, his dad started to become more of a workaholic; he’s rarely home and when he’s home he never really talks to Jaehyun. His love for music grew from the time Jaehyun’s dad would occasionally take him to overseas business trips. During the trip Jaehyun would encounter musicians playing in his dad’s business events or at formal opera evenings with his dad’s co-workers. While his dad was expecting Jaehyun to learn from his dad’s meetings with his business partners, Jaehyun couldn’t help but to focus on the beauty that was happening around him. The beauty in form of sound, Jaehyun fell in love with it.

Jaehyun bought his first guitar when he was thirteen. He saved up his allowance, thinking his dad wouldn’t buy him one even if he asks. He started to learn to play and discover his love for singing and writing during his time in middle school. In high school, Jaehyun discovered that he didn’t want to go to business school. He wanted to pursue music. When he told his dad about it, he got into a huge fight with his dad. He said Jaehyun should not be like his mom; as art is useless, and the only school that Jaehyun would go to is the business school that he attends now. Since then, Jaehyun has never picked up his guitar, thinking that it was useless to fight for a battle that he won’t win against his dad. That is until now.

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Sorry for the overdue update! We've been busy with school T_T !! But we have this finished and just a matter of updating and proofreading! Hope you like this update ♥