May was in the kitchen talking with Peter about what furniture to buy, about what color to paint the walls and if they actually have to, because the original color wasn’t deteriorated, but the kid was looking something at the distance through the open window.

“Peter? Peter, are you listening to me?” The kid looked at her and smiled shyly. “No, you weren’t… What’s in your mind? You’re like this since days ago…”

“I’m fine. I’m just… tired…”

“Are you sure?”

May’s concerned look made him smile.

“Yeah, I’m sure.”

“Oh! Could you go to the restaurant and give to Mr. Johnson this money? I completely forgot to give it to him and maybe he needs it…” Peter looked the money on May’s hand and then to her. “I know it’s quite far to take a walk, but… maybe a car could give you a lift.”

Peter sighed and took the money. Maybe a long walk could put his thoughts in its right place.

Since the night Anthony found them, he couldn’t sleep and he was pretty sure that both Clint and Steve couldn’t either. Suddenly a car stopped next to him and tried to catch his attention.

“What? I’m not on the way!” Peter stopped when he saw the car’s owner and the car. “Tony…”

 “Are you on your way home?” He joked.

“Kind of.” Peter replied kicking a little stone. He realized the distance he was walking by when he felt like his feet hurt. “This is quite far from your house…”

“What if I lift you up?”

The kid looked at Anthony. He doubted but in the end he got in the car.

“Just lift me up, okay?”

“Be my GPS, then.” They didn’t talk. They just share some time together just feeling the wind hitting their faces. “So, how’s going on?”

“What?”

“Everything.”

“I’m fine. Next week I’m going to start school, everything’s settled.”

“Good. You don’t have to drop out the school.” The kid smiled and looked through the window one more time. “Peter… Have you thinking about we’ve talk?”

“Tony, you say way too much every time we meet.” The engine stopped in the middle of the way. Anthony looked to Peter.

“I want you by my side. I need you by my side.”

“Oh, Tony…” The kid said with a smile on his face. “I’m-- I don’t--” Peter laid his head on the headrest and took a deep breath.”I don’t wanna do it.”

“Wait. Just wait. I’m gonna do something and if it doesn’t work…” The kid looked at him and he didn’t move a single finger. He wanted to know what would be his next movement. Then Anthony kissed him. A sloppy and fast kiss. He enjoyed it. Both of them did it. “Now, tell me. How was that?”

“Terrible.” Peter said.

“Oh, man…”

“Tony, I couldn--” The man kissed Peter again, but this time it was as intense as he could. When both of them were out of breath they opened a distance between them. Anthony kissed Peter’s lips again but gently. “How dare you…?”

“What? Are you going to tell Cap about it? Tell him.”

“Please, don’t…” He had found his weak spot. He had hit his new weak spot. He had hit his divided feelings. Peter didn’t say a single word and get out from the car.

“Peter! Wait! Where are you going?”

“Home. I can walk from here. It’s not that far. Tony, please, leave us alone. If you didn’t I assure you never see me again.” He was serious and seemed sure about his words.

Peter didn’t hear the car approaching him, he hear it going far from him instead.

 

“Tony was here.” Steve showed up on his room and Peter sat down on his bed was the first thing he saw. “Tony was here.”

“I heard you. What did he do you?”

“Nothing.”

“What did he want?”

“Me.”

“What are you going to do?”

“What?” The kid asked to him with a nervous smile.

“I’m not stupid, Peter. I know you love me, but those last days you opened a distance from me. I’m not blind to not see that’s because of Tony. Are you regretting to have come with me?”

“No… I didn’t mean that…”

“If you think that to stay with him is the best thing for you and May to do… Do it. I’m not going to force you to stay with me. I’m not like this.”

“Steve, that’s not what I meant. I’m… sorry if it seems that I get far from you. I didn’t mean to do it. It just that all of this is… new… I’m happy for May, she seems to suit her well, but I can’t. Not that fast I mean…”

Steve grabbed the kid’s waist to kiss his lips.

“I love you.” He whispered. “But I want to know what you really feel. I don’t want to you to say you love me when you’re not feeling that.”

“I’m not--”

“You are. You doubt about all of this. You know this is the best thing to do but in your heart you’re not sure. You still love him. You don’t realize it, but when his name is mentioned, a special brightness appears in your eyes, Peter. And that hurts me so deep…”

“Steve…”

“I want you to stay with me, but I’m not that selfish to even dare to force you to do something that, Peter. Until to you realize what you really feel, the best we can do is to not get any closer, okay?” Steve kissed Peter’s forehead and leave the room. He met with Clint downstairs.

“Hey, everything’s okay?”

“I’m dead.”

“Where’s Peter?” May asked Steve.

“He’s upstairs.” The man said took his seat around the kitchen’s table. May hinted that something were happening between them so she went for his nephew. She was about to knock at his door but she hear a cry from the room next to Peter’s, so she get into that room without knocking. She found Peter wiping down his own tears with the T-shirt. She chuckled and closed the door behind her back.

“Now what’s happening between both of you? Have you argued with Steve?” She asked and sat down on the floor next to him.

“No. No. I-- I don’t know. I don’t know what to feel anymore, May. I love Steve so much. He saved me. He showed me what the real love truly is. But Tony is… the first love I had. I don’t know… I just don’t know what to do. I just want to disappear…”

“Don’t say that, darling.” May said, hugging Peter and kissing his hair. “You just need to think, to clear your mind and think what’s better for you.”

“But, you--”

“You don’t have to think about me!” She said with a smile on her face. “Hey. I’m an adult woman. I can take care by myself. Peter, you’re confused and that’s fine. You didn’t ever go over Stark and you started a relationship with Steve. That’s totally normal. I think you should to take your time and then move forward with Steve…”

“He’s suffering because of me, May. I don’t want to make him suffer. I love him. I love Steve but I can’t go over Tony.”

“You have to think, darling. Just think…”

 

He heard like there were stones hitting on glasses in his dreams. Maybe it wasn’t in his dreams. He woke up and heard that sound again. Steve lit the lamp on and took a look through his window.

“Barton?”

“Come here! Come on!” Clint whispered. Steve followed his lead several blocks away from the house. They stopped in front of a closed theatre in the middle of the town’s central street.

“Where are we going?”

“You can’t go in there with those clothes.” Steve’s face turned puzzled. “Go and put those.” He said giving to him a bag.

“Where may I change my clothes?”

“Here.”

“In the middle of the street?”

“Just… do it, okay?”

“I don’t know what’s going on, but I don’t like it, you know?”

Steve changed his clothes for a shirt, pants and even a tuxedo. Clint helped with the tie and patted one of his shoulders when he was ready.

“Now, go.”

“Where?”

“To your first dance.” Those words made Steve to frown an eyebrow. Clint guided him to the main door of the theatre and left him there. When Steve got into the building, he seemed to see lights in the central room so he put one step in there. There was one person in the middle of the stage.

“Peter…” He whispered. The kid turned to see him and smiled at him. “What is this?”

“Well, it’s… just something I wanted to do.”

“Did you talk with Barton?”

“Actually… Yeah, I did.”

“This is a surprise. You look… amazing.” He said looking at the kid wearing a tuxedo just like him.

“Tha-- Thanks… You look good, too.”

“Thank you.”

“So…  Are you ready for your dance, Captain Rogers?”

“I’m ready when you’re ready.”

Peter smiled because of his words. He smiled because the light on Steve made him someone unreachable but he was there and he was actually his. It was complicated at the beginning, Peter had to give a couple of quick lesson to Steve –even when he actually wasn’t a good dancer- before the dance started. They didn’t care about the time spend in there just dancing, just hearing the beat of each other’s hearts became higher and higher until no more music was heard for both of them.

Their lips met to take the form of a never endless kiss. Their clothes were falling on the floor, their bodies so close to each other, both of them out of breathe, both of them so immersed in the love their felt for each other. Their heavy breathing and their moans echoed all over the place even above the songs that were played for both of them.

“Steve…” Peter caught his attention, he was be wrapped by the blond man’s arms, so warm and sticky and the same time.

“What happen?” Peter couldn’t but to smile because of Steve’s sleepy expression.

“It’s nothing.” The kid whispered.

“Well, then.”

Steve sighed and closed his eyes.

 

Both of them returned to Clint’s home after four in the morning. The man was waiting for them in the barn. Without making any noise, the three of them get into the house to have a good sleep.

Peter realized May was awake because of the light from her room. He knocked the door and waited for the woman to get in.

 

Steve was able to get a job thanks to Clint. Friday afternoon was his free day, so he decided to pick up Peter from school, but since Clint’s house was near to his job, Laura ordered him to spend time with them before to go to the school.

“Could you bring the trash from Peter’s room, please?” She asked to Steve, who nodded with a smile on his face. “You know, I can’t leave them alone.” The woman said taking a look to her children.

“It’s no problem at all.” Steve said before to go upstairs. There were a few things in Peter’s room. He didn’t want to give it a Peter-ish style since in a couple of days they will be moving to their new home in the town. The trash bag was already closed but when Steve was to pick it up, he found a ball of paper on the floor. He pick that up from the floor and opened it to see a few words and scribbled did it by Peter. He frowned at it and his attention was caught by Laura knocking at the door.

“Mr. Rogers?”

“Ah, yes. Sorry. I have to…”

“Yes, you should go and pick up Peter. May’s already here.”

“Great. I’ll be there in a minute.”

 

Clint’s truck stopped in front of the high-school. The kids were already leaving so Steve got out from the vehicle and waited for Peter. His body was against the door with crossed arms when he saw Peter approaching him.

“Hi.”

“How was the school?”

“Fine. I have a lot of homework to do, though. How was your day?”

“Fine.”

“Can you leave me get in the truck? I’m starving.” Peter said with a shy smile.

“Can I ask you something before?”

“Yeah. What’s wrong?”

“Can you explain me what’s this?” Steve showed Peter the piece of paper that picked up from his room. The kid was speechless. He wanted to say something but he couldn’t.

“I-- I-- ” Peter swallowed bitter, then, he spoke. “That wasn’t for you.”

“What?”

“It was for Tony.”

“What?”

“That letter… was for Tony.”

 

There he goes again. That ghost between us again.

How could I fight against him if Peter didn’t let me to do it? I had could swear that Peter was the one who told Tony that we were at Barton’s house but his expression didn’t lie to me.

I couldn’t but to sighed heavily.

Once again, his presence was between Peter and me, and I couldn’t do anything but to try to bear it.