Jinyoung didn't know what to expect as he stood at the door waiting for the boy to answer the doorbell, but would he even answer once he saw him? Would he even want to speak to him? Jinyoung shook his head trying to get all the nasty thoughts out, yet all the anxious thoughts just kept coming up until finally the door swung open revealing a freshly woken Mark, hair jutting out in all directions, and pajamas engulfing his skinny frame. Jinyoung took a harsh gulp, trying not to think sinfully, but utterly failing at how could one boy have so much beauty in such a messy state? He threw the thought to the back of his head as he stood waiting for him to say something.

"Jinyoung? But how?" He gestured him into the household despite his wide eyes and disbelief. 

"I know it's been a month and I understand if you hate me at the moment, but I'm so sorry I ran out when we were on that nice date." He sputtered out all these words with his eyes darting everywhere but the barista's eyes. His hands moving this way and that in a confused fashion as he tried to explain himself and the boy had started to laugh halfway through the elder's apology.

"It's fine you're a busy man and all. I didn't mind." He gave a gummy smile and elder's heart rate dropped back down to normal.

He looked around at the lovely wood floor, a red wood of the best quality, and it gave a lovely sheen as if Mark had just cleaned. The room he stood in was so spacious and above hung colorful rows of small pictures of Mark and other people. They were clipped onto strings and strung up like diy decor pieces and it was such a precious sight. This one giant room had the living room where a giant tv was hung up right above a cozy fireplace, the kitchen right across from it was an open space, and it was filled with neatly organized containers of different coffee grinds, tea leaves, and other goodies. It took a moment to realized Mark was just standing their waiting for the boy to snap back to reality.

"It is the only thing I have left of my parents." He gave a weak smile, the kind that screams "help me." the boy walked over to the white couch and plopped down. Jinyoung's head was filled with a million questions about the statement he just made, but he thought it best to let him choose if he wanted to say anything about it. 

There was a thick silence in the room, the kind that you can't cut through, as if anything you say will just make things worse. The elder decides to take a seat on smaller couch off to the side and the silence becomes almost unbearable for him. Was he going to say anything? Would they sit until they die? The elder was beginning to regret coming with no real plan. 

"You want to know about my past don't you?" He spoke up which caught him off guard.

He cleared his throat and shook his head. "No, but if you'd like to talk about it I'm all ears." He play it off cool and collected, but his palms developed cold sweat. He was going to tell him all about his past life which made him nervous. He didn't know exactly what made him nervous about it, but he was nervous. 

Mark looked into Jinyoung's deep brown eyes ready to say something, but then his phone rang. He looked at the screen and his eyes turned into two full moons. He picked up with no hesitation. "Hello, what is this all about?" He asked looking at him with blank eyes as he listening to whomever was on the other end. He replied with a simple "yes." More times than the elder could count. He then hung up after a few minutes, bidding the person on the other end "goodbye," and then turning his full attention to the elder. 

"Can we take a rain check?" He asked with pure exhaustion evident in his voice. His words all airy, soft, and almost a whisper.

"Yes, we can." He went in to give him a pat on his shoulder, but a pain surged through his head.

"Chanyeol there is someone waiting for you, someone else, and I can feel it. That you're waiting on someone." The shorter male with golden brown locks argued. 

"I can't find anyone else, but you Baekhyun! Other's may be made for me, but I found you." He smiled at the boy with golden brown locks. 

"Jinyoung are you okay?" He woke up on the floor being held in Mark's amrs and he didn't get what happened. That event he just saw wasn't from Yugyeom's journal. He got up to his feet and Mark looked at him with glittering eyes. 

"I'm alright, we'll catch up when you're free." They both gave approving nods and the elder took his leave smiling as they waved each other goodbye before he walked out of his house. 

Jinyoung was only a mere inch away from opening his door casually, until he heard laughs, and chuckles from inside his shared apartment room. He heard two familiar voices and one he couldn't recognize at all, so he opened the door slowly, and there was this moment of silence that filled the room. Felix and Yugyeom sent him a smile and a wave and the unknown male gave a uneasy smile. He had black hair and wore this edgy look. He had dangly black cross earrings, a hooded leather jacket, and a mischievous look in his eyes. 

"Hello, I'm Changbin, Yugyeom's friend, and I just met Felix today." He introduced himself and Jinyoung looked at his outstretched hand; He simply sat down over on the couch ignoring him. 

They continued there converation and he watched as they laughed and talked about nonsense. This Changbin guy kept making Yugyeom laugh a lot and it was a cute laugh, kind of squeaky, but so lovable. Yugyeom was also smiling a lot too, which looked really good on him, and Jinyoung wondered how he hadn't noticed till now. Not too long into the social gathering Changbin s his arm around his shoulder and Jinyoung felt like punching the guy. For whatever reason his blood was boiling because he had his slimy hands on him. 

He began to try to calm himself, but to no avail, so he grabbed a jacket out of his room. He walked past the table like a raging storm and Yugyeom's head snapped his direction. "Are you alright?" He called out, but Jinyoung already slammed the door behind him. 

He drove around with no real destination in mind, until he saw out of the corner of his rear view mirror Mark walking along the street, and he immediately honked his horn catching the boy's attention. He stopped in the middle of the street and rolled down his window. It took a moment before Mark realized that the guy in the car was indeed Mark and his eyes darted elsewhere.

"Care to hop in?" He halfed yelled over to the boy who was lost in his own world and he was quick to snap out of it. He gave a shaky smile and made his way to the passenger side.

Neither of the two spoke for awhile, they just sat in comfortable silence, yet their was this tension in the car as if Mark was holding back something. Jinyoung could see the other was troubled by something, but he didn't exactly know what it was. He stopped the car in a random parking lot, by a random building, and he didn't care much to really take in the surroundings.

"What's on your mind?" He turned to the younger who was so lost in thought it took him a moment to realize the car had even stopped moving. 

"My parents died when I was a junior in high school, today was their death day, the call was from my uncle asking if I I wanted to see them." He answered looking into the others eyes with all the bottled up pain, walls crumbling, and he knew the boy was vulnerable. 

"Let's take you home, it's been a long day for you." He started up the engine again and sped off towards his apartment. 

Mark looked puzzled as Jinyoung parked infront of his own apartment. He was going to protest but the elder had already shook his head to not ask about it, to go along with it, and just enjoy the moment. 

He opened the door to the trio of boys still sitting around the table as if gossiping about the newest drama at work. As if they were teens all gather to talk about the latest scandals around the school and the elder found it irritating that Yugyeom's friend still had his arm wrapped around him. He rolled his eyes as he walked in not even greeting them as he led the confused lamb to his room. "Hi Mark." The two boys familiar with him said in unison, but Jinyoung already slammed his door shut. 

"Hey, what is this all about?" Mark asked as he sat on his bed waiting for some sort of explanation. 

"I left you by yourself with no explanation. You need me today and I'm not going anywhere." He gave a grin as he gestured him to rest up on the bed.

Jinyoung wanted to be his own person, ever since that letter, and ever since reading that journal he has been told he's bound by destiny. What about what he wants now? Does it not even matter what he wants now? He didn't know where this sudden rage was coming from, yet he knew that it was all in good reason. Who is he to let some stupid fate tell him that he can't be with anyone else right? He has no feelings for Yugyeom whatsoever, so who was he to feel obligated to like him?

He had his eyes on Mark ever since the day he gave him that warm cup of cafe au lait and he has to just throw it all away? He didn't want to and he refuses to think he has to for the sake of the crazy boy. 

"Hey, Jinyoung thank you." He answered before falling into slumber on the elder's bed. 

"No, thank you." He whispered before getting up to leave. 

He walked out to see that only Yugyeom was in his household. He grit his teeth as his shoulder's tense up at the sight of him; He does not know exactly why he is  mad at the kid, but he just is. 

Yugyeom gave a soft smile, "have you read the letter yet?" He asked referring to the little ritual that was held with his cousin.  He took the paper from where he had left it in his room. 

"I didn't read it and I won't read it." The younger looked at him with wide eyes and a slight tilt of his head.

Jinyoung torn the piece of paper in half and then into fourths. Yugyeom screamed for him to stop as he strut over to the window and tossed out the now ripped pieces out into the wind. Yugyeom had tear stains all down his cheeks as he ran out and Jinyoung was left standing there.  "What did you do to him?" Mark looked him dead in the eyes. 

Jinyoung honestly didn't know what he just did to him. He wanted to feel like he had control and could choose freely. That his life was his life, nobody elses, that he didn't share it, and that it was based on what he wanted. 

"If you like me that's cool, but don't go shattering others hearts. I take it back, you aren't the guy I thought you were." He was making his way to the door, but he grabbed his shoulder. 

"Where are you going? Let me drive you home." He suggested not wanting him to walk out alone. 

"I can take myself thanks! Yugyeom ran out in tears. Your first concern shouldn't be me." He stomped out and slammed the door making the room quake a bit. 

Jinyoung wanted to scream. Is this destiny telling him he doesn't get to choose? He wanted to have his own say, not to have to go to Yugyeom, but he lost the person of interest due to being caught up in wanting control over his life. He shook his head and declined the thought of going to search for the kid. If he did he would be making the younger believe in something that won't happen. 

Jinyoung heard a loud knock on the door and he had no intentions of answering it, until the banging got more intense. He opened it up to see Bang Chan, arms crossed, fingers drumming along his forearms, and this intense gaze. 

"Whatever you're doing needs to stop, the spirits are very upset with you." He threatened and the boy scoffed at his insane relative.

"Since when did I not to get to pick who I can or can't love?" He spat back and the other just sighed. 

"You're messing with fate here and things are going to get worse for him, not you." The elder just laughs at the mention of the kid and why should he care if he things get worse for him. 

"Get out of my house." He pushed the other out as he tried protest and when he shut the door he dunked down to sit on the floor and put his back against the wall. 

"You don't know it but I've seen it. This kid will pull every heartstring of yours. It's not about destiny or fate, it's about a never ending bond between two souls." He called to him through the door and the elder just teared up. 

What happened to being able to have a free choice? Why does he have to love the kid, who is binding them together? Jinyoung looked out the window to see Yugyeom walking making his way back to the apartment. He looked at his pale face and slow pace. He felt his heart break a little and cursed at himself. 

why do I feel like this when I don't want to feel like this?