“Come on Wan, just get in the car.” Seulgi had whined as a very drunk Wendy flailed around in her arms, laughing and yelling out a mixture of English and Korean which the previous woman didn’t even try to understand. Irene stood by awkwardly, arms crossed as Joy mimicked Wendy’s actions in a drunken stupor. “Wendy! Car. Now.” Seulgi said receiving a whine from the woman in her arms as she helped her inside the vehicle. Just as Wendy’s hit the car seat she was asleep, mumbling incoherent jumbles of words. Her wife sighed, not from the fact that she had spent ten minutes trying to convince Wendy to get in their car even if that had been tiring as hell, but from the fact that she now had to spend twenty minutes in a car with Wendy and Irene. She really must be crazy to have accepted Joy’s request to drive Irene back at her place so that she wouldn’t have any nasty run-ins with weirdos at 5 am.

“Goodnight you three!” Joy had called after them as Seulgi drove off towards Irene’s apartment with Wendy snoring away in the backseat. The drive was as awkward as Seulgi thought it would’ve been, with Irene checking her phone every two seconds until its dying battery gave up and it turned off. The cat eyed woman’s attention stayed on the empty road, as if she was in the middle of a traffic jam and not an empty road as she drove.

“Goodnight.” Irene had said as she exited the car, making Seulgi sigh in relief. Those twenty minutes had felt more like twenty hours that’s how suffocating the silence was. Seulgi gave a small smile before she drove her and her wife back home.

“I’m sorry I’m such a bad wife Seulgi…”The words had caught Seulgi off guard as she tucked Wendy into bed. She was convinced the other woman was asleep, she even carried her up to their apartment not to wake her up.

“What are you talking about Wan?” Seulgi said, her voice revealing just how nervous she was about the topic; however she was met with silence. “Sleep talking?” She mumbled to herself as she looked at Wendy with a small sad smile. “You’re not the bad one here Wan, I am.” Seulgi said with a small sigh and kissed Wendy’s forehead before heading out to the living room and  laying down on the couch, her vision getting blurry before it all went dark.

Seulgi awoke to the sound of sizzling coming from their kitchen and the smell of maple syrup in the air. The woman groaned as she got out of bed, her body feeling heavy, and made her way to the kitchen nearby greeted by a smiling Wendy.

“How is it possible that you’re the one that was drunk last night and I’m the one feeling like I have a hangover?” Seulgi grumbled out making Wendy chuckle, although it somehow felt off.

“Maybe your diet of Pringles is getting to you Seul!” The woman teased, with a somewhat sad voice that made Seulgi purse her lips, as she placed the last pancake on the stack in front of her and slid it to her wife, sitting down in front of her with her own plate. As Seulgi ate she could feel Wendy’s gaze on her, watching her carefully. “Seulgi just tell me the truth.” That made Seulgi choke, causing a coughing fit which Wendy elevated by handing the other woman a glass of water.

“How long have you known?” Seulgi mumbled quietly, eyes cast down. No point in lying to her wife now.

“I’ve had my suspicions for a couple of months, I could tell you fell out of love with me even before that…” Wendy’s tiny voice only served to make Seulgi hate herself even more. How could she have hurt the other woman, the kindest woman on earth, like this? ”Were you going to tell me?”

“Yes.” Seulgi replied almost instantaneously.”I swear I was going to; I wanted to tell you for so long. Wan I-“

“I need some time to process this Seulgi.” Wendy spoke with pursed lips. “I’ve gotten an overnight bag ready for you, maybe you should leave for tonight. I’ll call you when I’m ready to talk to you again.”

“Seungwan…I really am sorry.” Seulgi said as she reached to place a hand on Wendy’s shoulder, only for it to be brushed off by said woman.

“I know you are. I know you’re not a bad person Seulgi. I just can’t look at you right now. Please understand and leave.” Wendy said tears on the verge of falling down her soft cheeks. Seulgi knew how much the other woman hated it when people saw her crying. She wanted to comfort her, she really did, but how could she comfort her when she herself was the reason Wendy needed comforting in the first place. With a muted nod Seulgi got up from the kitchen counter and made her way to their bedroom where she found a backpack ready for her. Even in this situation Wendy took care of her. Seulgi really didn’t deserve her.

“Hey Joy…Yeah It’s Seulgi…Yeah I told her…Thank you.” Seulgi sighed letting her head rest on her car seat as she heard the beep of her phone closing. She had left Wendy in the verge of tears sitting on their couch, arms wrapped around herself, having effectively curled her body into a ball. The cat eyed woman really wanted to help her but she knew she couldn’t do it herself. That’s why she had called Joy, even sticking around for a while after to see the younger woman walking towards their apartment complex. She then had driven off, firstly nowhere in particular driving around aimlessly before finding herself in familiar scenery.

“Oh Seulgi…” Irene’s voice was comforting to the crying woman... “Come here…” ...her arms warm and welcoming. ”Let’s go inside ok?” Seulgi couldn’t find the courage to speak so she gave a muted nod.

“It’s ok baby. It’ll get better soon.”