A/n: Hello everyone i hope you didn't lose faith in this story, thank you for your support and love i hope that all of you are safe from any harm especially WIth Covid and all, the upcoming chapter are a little angsty so bear with me and thank you again...

Chapter 15 Something to hold on to

Losing someone we love is one of the most challenging things we will face in life…

Tiffany was discharged after three weeks from being in the hospital,which were the worst week for Taeyeon as her girlfriend was in heartbreaking state that Jessica had to sedate her from time to time for her safety, she was always crying and pulling through her IV as she nearly opened her wound again while she kept asking why it had to be him not her while punching on Taeyeon’s arm while the latter hugged her tightly trying to comfort her distraught lover.

When she was finally home, all of her family and friends made sure she won’t be alone at home as they took turn watching over her and to keep her company so she won’t be alone. In fact the Taeyeon’s mother came early in the morning just to make sure that they have some home cooked meals for all of them as for her parent, they came to visit every night while Taeyeon was out taking care of her long-forgotten work.

Tiffany stayed put on not seeing her late son even if everyone tried coaxing her to say her goodbye to him, she felt like she was undeserving since her body failed to bring him into this world alive, and she couldn’t protect him for harm,

“…N…No…I killed him…” Tiffany replied as she shook her head when Taeyeon on her last day at the hospital tried again “I don’t deserve it…I don’t deserve to see him” she added as tears well up in her eyes again

“Don’t say that…It was an accident babe…stop blaming yourself…No one could have foreseen it…” Taeyeon said as she tried to comfort her “It’s not your fault babe…” she added while her lover silently sobbed on her shoulder.

Taeyeon rearranged his funeral and request a closed casket since Tiffany is still refusing on seeing him, that day she kept clutching on Taeyeon’s shirt and sobbing as they buried him, she turned around as she couldn’t take the scene happening in front of her, her body got weak and her legs gave out as she fell on the ground, crying helplessly wishing to join him six feet under, Taeyeon crouched down and took her into her arms bridal style while she tried to sooth and reassure her,

“It’s okay Fany ah, I got you…” she told her as she walked toward her car at the same time her brother saw them and ushered to help her,

“Taetae let me take her for you…” he told her gently as he tried to take Tiffany in his hold trying to help his sister,

“..No...it’s okay I will just bring her home…” She replied as she felt her shaking her head and clutching tightly on her suit as if refusing to be held by someone else “ Can you take care of everyone…” she added with pleading eyes as pointed with her chin at everyone who were staring at them,

“Yes, anything you need…” he replied as he squeezed her shoulder in comfort and opened the car’s door for them, Taeyeon put her down on her seat and kissed her forehead, she thanked her brother and ushered to the driver seat,

“I’m sorry…” Tiffany said with soft voice after a while before Taeyeon started to drive, she felt like she failed both of them, him as mother and her lover, and the guilt was eating her up.

“Why are you apologizing babe…it’s okay...we will get through it...somehow” Taeyeon replied as she took her face into her hands “I love you no matter what...please remember that”

“I love you too…” Tiffany replied as Taeyeon pecked her lips

“Let’s go home…”

“Mmm…” Tiffany only hummed as she closed her eyes and rested her head, the only thing she wanted was to be confined in her room where no one would bother her, no more petty look and meaningless word...

Over the days Tiffany become more reserved and very depended on Taeyeon, she won’t let her leave her side, as a matter of fact since their son passed away a new fear crept into Tiffany’s heart that one day her lover would decide to leave and break things off with her or worst that she would wake up one day and would find Taeyeon gone too.

“How can I live without him? Who am I now? If I’m not his mother anymore” she told her mother one day while they were waiting for Taeyeon’s return from work

“…It’s okay to feel that way baby girl…You still have Taeyeon beside you…” her mother reassured her “You have us all with you…”

“What if she decides to leave me too…Because I failed to bring her son into this world” she replied on the verge of crying while her mother hugged as she her hair,

“That won’t happen, she loves you more than anything in this world…and it wasn’t your fault baby, it was an accident”

“…”

“This is how you felt when you miscarried my baby sister…”

“Yes, it was the worst feeling I admit that, everyone of us has his own way to grief…Remember to take your time and to share with your loved one your feeling and worries, it helped me back then”

“…” she instead started crying again

“It’s okay baby…It’s okay…Let it all out…”

“I miss him…”

“I know, we miss him too…” her mother replied “Everything is going to be okay...we are here for you…” she added as she kissed her forehead

“I know...i love you mom…” she replied with a sniff after awhile of sobbing,

“Come...i think Taetae is on her way now...let’s clean you up…” her mother said “Or she will be worried about you.”

When Taeyeon came back that night her girlfriend’s mother took her aside and told her about Tiffany ressent fear.

“Why would she feel that way?i won’t ever leave her…” Taeyeon replied with a frown

“She think that she failed you and him…”

“Oh…” Taeyeon only muttered “I will talk to her thank you aunty for sharing it with me…”

“She still don’t talk to you about it..” she asked her referring how her daughter withholding talking about to their son demise and also about their feeling,

“No...she doesn’t what to share her burden with me…” Taeyeon replied sadly “I just want to take her pain away…”

“It’s okay...you too need to grief your loss...”Tiffany’s mother replied as she Taeyeon’s arm “We are here for you…”

“Thank you…”

“Come here sweetie…” her mother’s lover said as she pulled her into her arms for hug trying to comfort her.

Since that day Taeyeon started to work from home as she stood beside her girlfriend so she can ease her worries, with taking care of Tiffany and working from home, she didn’t get to properly grief her loss as she wanted to be strong for her lover who needed her the most.

“Taetae where are you going?” Tiffany said as she found her putting her shoes on, she headed toward her and hugged her,

“Mm buying dinner for us…”

“Can you not and stay with me...Don’t we have some leftover from your mother’s cooking”Tiffany stated as she nuzzled herself even more into Taeyeon’s hold ”Or better ask Sunny or Soo?”

“I think they are still at work…” Taeyeon checked her phone for time “And as for leftover I need to check the fridge..So you need to let me go for awhile” she added which made Tiffany frown

“I won’t go away boo, just the kitchen…i promise” Taeyeon replied as she kissed the crown of her head, trying to reassure while she took her hand into hers and went together to the kitchen.

“We have fried chicken...Rice…” Taeyeon said as she went through the open fridge “Oh and your favorite japchae..”

“I want that…”

“Okay let me heat it up for you…” Taeyeon said while Tiffany kept looking at her as her mind went to her late son and what if he didn’t pass away, he will be born by now which made her wonder how they will take care of him or how their life would be changed but now...at that thought tears started running down on her cheek which made Taeyeon turn back at her as she quickly went to her but not before turning the stove off,

“Hey..hey...it’s okay…” Taeyeon said softly as she embraced her “It’s okay…”

“Don’t ever leave me Tae…”

“I won’t baby...i won’t I promise...i love you so much…” Taeyeon reassured her “Can you tell me what did you think about?”

“…” Tiffany stayed silent as million thoughts run through her messy mind

“Please talk to me babe, I’m here…”

“I...I…” she struggled to say what’s on her mind,

“It’s okay...i will be here when you ready…” Taeyeon replied as she wiped her tears, understanding her lover struggle and she didn’t want her to push her to her breaking point “Here your dinner...we should eat or umma would be mad at us…”

“Mmm...But I’m not hungry”

“Just a little baby...So you don’t sleep with an empty stomach…”

“Okay..”

Meanwhile

“SSA Lee, here the result of the fingertips we found in your apartment…it’s Choi Minho...And also the CCTV photo of him going into your apartment” Seohyun said as Sunny went through the file she just handed to her, she cursed under her breath “Is he the same guy Sooyoung dated?” Seohyun asked her,

“Yes, Thanks you Seo…” Sunny thanked her as her eyes roamed between the files “…Tell the judge for an arrest warrant against Choi Minho…”

“Right away…”

“Wait...ask all the agent available to be on look out in front of my apartment Taeyeon and Fany are there and Sooyoung’s work, we still don’t know what’s his motive so we should be prepared…”

“Considerate it done SSA Lee…”

“...wait Seohyun…” Sunny cursed as something caught her eyes in the file she just got “...send some agents to Taeyeon’s family…i will go fetch Soo myself” “And tell everyone to be on look out…” she added as she took her phone and made a call,

“Sure do…”

“Soo where are you?” she said over the phone “Okay, I need you to stay there until I come to get you...no don’t worry it’s just a safety measure...i will explain everything to you later...”

“Hey...get in the car…” Sunny said as she found Sooyoung waiting for her near the entrance of her office building where the agents she sent were on their guard, she waved at them while they nodded their head to her,

“What’s going on? What about my car?”

“Leave it...listen it’s your ex-boyfriend…”

“Minho...why?”Sooyoung exclaimed “Is it revenge because I broke up with him?”

“I don’t know...But from now on I’m will be the one who will send you to your work and also I placed some agents near our apartment and your office...TO be safe..””i won’t take another risk…”

“What do you mean? You told me he was a bad news you have nothing to do with what had happened…”

“But I let my guard down and …”

“It’s not your fault…” Sooyoung replied as she squeezed Sunny’s thigh reassuringly“He just a petty person and coward too...if he was so upset with me he should have faced me not going through our stuff…”

“…” Sunny stayed silent as she bit her lips not really believe that it was his real intention,

“You really don’t think so…” Sooyoung stated as if she read her mind “He is not after me...”

“No...because according to Tiffany statement he was in their room…not yours or mine…” Sunny stated

“Is he after her?”

“...”

“Taeyeon...he is after her...isn’t he” Sooyoung quickly understood Sunny silence“Why...what did she do to him? She barely know the guy?”

“…” Sunny just shrugged her shoulders as she pretended to focus on driving even if they were in red stop; she didn’t want to explain anything just yet so her friend won’t be worried about their friend

“You know something that I don’t...what is it?”

“I think it’s better to talk about it when we get home…we will be there soon” Sunny barely looked at her

“If you think that hiding it would make me less worried then you are wrong..What’s really going on?” Sooyoung stated with a frown on her face while waiting for her friend to explain it further,

“I’m not trying to hide anything...i just got the first element of the investigation and I don’t think it’s a matter to talk about it when I’m still driving...”Sunny looked at her this time as the green light went on and continued to drive until they reached they apartment building.

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