Check out my story, featuring Baekhyun, on my second account Indulgence 

it is a short story, with three chapters. I already uploaded two chapters, and the third one would be uploaded very soon! Leave feedback and love <3

She sat on the bench outside the big house with a frown. The breeze outside was refreshing, and the whole atmosphere was warm, easing her tensed muscle.

She didn’t know why she felt so gloomy today, maybe because of Kris’s sudden message requesting to see her again, and that he’d bring her parents with as well. But she wasn’t so sure that was the main reason, sure; that amplified her disturbance, but it wasn’t the main cause of why she felt this way. She just woke up feeling absolutely drained and exhausted, not in a physical way – although that was slightly there too. Her back and legs were pulsing with pain, which meant only one thing, she was having period cramps – but more to the mental side.

There was one time when she felt like that before, when she was still living with her parents. That time, she had woken up feeling like the world had suddenly ended for her. Every feeling of contempt, starvation, and pain seemed to just simply fade, and she remembered sitting on her bed for a lot of days staring at the brownish wall of her room. She had thought she was growing depressed, but that wasn’t the case. She felt nothing at all, not even sadness, or motivation to get rid herself of the situation she was in. She simply had that strong urge to wait it all out, the scorching flame of dislike and discomfort that usually burned her body had dissipated, just like that.

It was like.. giving up.

She was feeling like this now. Like everything just..didn’t matter anymore, like her problems weren’t something she could solve. Before, she had been going through big things from home, so it was understandable that she felt her resolve cracking, but why was she feeling it now? She should be fighting, struggling, and urging herself to break through her problems, especially now, especially when she really, really wanted to.

Suddenly, one of the werewolves took the place beside her, occupying it with high ferocity that caused the bench to squeak and threaten to break apart. She snapped her with a glare, ready to smack the person and scold him to eternity, to see Chen slouching in his position, a cat-like grin on his face.

“I’d say this angry look is for me,” Chen said casually, immediately sitting straighter than before to give her a mock bow. “Sorry for hurting your precious bench, do you want me to kiss it better?”

“You’re going to kiss a still object?” She mumbled half-heartedly; her eyebrows going to her forehead in surprise, even though she wasn’t initially as surprised as she looked. Chen was the master of spouting strange and stupefying things, and she was used to him. He was generally loud, sly, and very odd. But, she knew as well, that he had a warm heart he so earnestly ignored at most time, and used all kind of fabrication to hide it. Sometimes, that trait of his was bigger than his schemes, and it showed by itself in his slight worry, and his comforting actions, even if they were masked with roughness.

Like, right now.

She was positive he approached her because she was gloomy and was radiating a gray aura.

“You’d rather I kiss your pain away instead?” He replied, cheekily, and the grin on his lips made the impact lesser on her heart. She initially wanted to roll her eyes at him, but actually understanding the meaning of his words made her alert. She gave him a cautious look, a look that should have stirred something inside his heart; but instead, it made his grin widen. She looked away at seeing that curl of his lips, heartbeats increasing.

“I don’t feel any pain.”

“Sure you don’t.” Chen snorted with sarcasm dripping from every pore of his body, and she huffed a small sigh before crawling sideways, away from him. But he was a werewolf, a strong and developed one, a tragic excuse of crawling away won’t go under his nose.

Chen easily crawled back to her, making their thighs touch. In spite of the fact he was wearing jeans, she could feel his touch seeping through her summer dress, and the simple gesture fired up a spark so high up in her spine, and suddenly; she felt as if she was being swallowed inside a thunderstorm. The warmth of his whole being was incredible, and she could never get used to having such reactions when they’re close to her. Knowing this, she tried to crawl away again, her heart bouncing violently inside her chest, and the main fear of hers was that it’d grow legs and sprint away from her body.

Chen seemed to get this, as the curl of his lips turned a little more devilish, more cunning, and filled with playfulness. She didn’t look at him to notice, her eyes eyeing the dancing tree leaves by the breeze, eyes empty of any thought. He immediately crawled back again against her, pressing their sides together. Thankfully for him, the bench met its end, and she couldn’t crawl away again; so she settled with her position with a tight smile.

They let the silence wrap around them, an atmosphere that was strange when Chen was around. She looked at him in wonder, finding him copying her gesture and looking at the trees with a similar expression of discomfort on his face, an expression she was perfectly mimicking. Even though she was curious on why he was here, she didn’t want to involve herself with him at the moment. She was too annoyed with the outcome of her life to have a space in her heart to talk. But that didn’t mean Chen felt the same.

“May I ask why you’re sad?”

“I’m not sad,” She murmured, eyeing the trees again which she wasn’t really focused with. “I don’t think I ever were.”

“I don’t think that’s very correct.” He was very curious by now, she could tell. He didn’t think she was lying to him, but her words were unbelievable. No one was ever able to stay without sadness in their lives, especially her. He knew what kind of a life hers was, and if there was one thing he knew about it for sure, it was that she constantly lived in sadness, drowned in it even. He didn’t even understand how that sadness didn’t affect her right now. (Or maybe it did affect her, in the form of distrust he sometimes found seep out of her unconsciously)

“I don’t know, I just, I never really got.. really sad,” She murmured again, intertwining her hands under her chin and tilting her head to the side to look at him. She realized he was already looking at her, the chocolate of his eyes deep and focused, the curl of his lips absent; like he suddenly lost his colors for a minute just to focus on hers. “Every time something happen that is supposed to make one sad, the only feeling I feel is pure anger, and maybe helplessness. I never truly felt sad. When my mom did what she did, I didn’t feel sad that she didn’t consider me as a daughter of hers, I just felt.. so angry, because I trusted her, you know, and because I was too weak to prevent it.”

Chen didn’t reply, trying to grasp a meaning to her words; and neither did she speak, but fortunately for him, it didn’t last very long, as she was talking again.

“Ever since I was a small child,” she murmured, “In cases where someone was supposed to feel sad, I never truly did, I felt angry instead, so incredibly angry. I always waited for the sadness to finally settle in, but it never did. I end up feeling disappointed at last, after all of the anger fades away; disappointment because of how my life is.”

“I don’t think you need to be sad,” Chen answered her, looking at her with a burning fire in his eyes that managed to somehow ignite the drenched torch inside of her chest. “What you’re telling me is the embodiment of sadness in itself.”

“Why.. do you say that?” She blinked her eyes blankly at him, her heart once again falling into a raging pattern of beats, beats that were harsh enough to make her feel suffocated.

“Sadness sometimes means we are still strong enough to bend,” He told her seriously. “I mean, if you felt sadness all of a sudden, it only means you’ve been standing for a long time, and that you finally decided you deserve to sit down. But if you never really felt sadness, it means you haven’t really been standing up at all, or that you haven’t allowed yourself to sit down. Which one are you?”

Her eyes burned with tears, and she didn’t know why. What he said wasn’t even impressing at all, and she knew what he meant, she always have been. Maybe it was the idea she heard it from another mouth, or maybe because she didn’t think anyone would understand.

She looked down at her hands and realized they were shaking, and she raised them up to her eyes to wipe the small patch of tears away. Hopefully, no more would come out.

“Do you feel sad now?” He peered down at her face, hoping she’d raise her head up to look at him, which she did with a small smile, her eyes softer than honey and gentler than marshmallows. He liked when she looked at them with an expression like that, like they were precious to her, like they were the reason she survived in this earth. He liked when she didn’t deny him eye-contact, he liked to drown in the honeydew color of her eyes whenever they flashed with genuine feelings like now.

“To be honest, I think you’re lying to me,” Chen told her with his eyes squinting playfully at her. She gave him a confused look. “I don’t think anyone is capable of living without feeling sadness, it’s part of the complexity that makes us humans. So, you’re either lying to me, or you don’t realize how your own sadness works.”

“I think,” He interrupted whatever she intended to say, and she zipped on a tight line, eyeing him like he personally offended her. “I think you don’t realize your anger is an actual sadness, you are just very good at hiding it under that mask, because it is pretty much easier than showing actual sadness. I mean, who would want to show such weakness, aye?”

“Except that I don’t believe sadness is a weakness.” She tried to deny, shaking her head, and Chen continued to squint his eyes playfully at her.

“C’mon,” he poked her shoulder with his. “You can’t not believe it’s not weakness even for a small fraction.”

“Well, Maybe,” She huffed a breath again, loosening the grip she had on her intertwined hands to straighten up in her bench, leaning her back against it and ticking her head backwards to eye the ceiling. “Just a little bit. But I don’t think I’m hiding it because I want to, I think it’s involuntary.”

“You think it is involuntary,” Chen stressed on his words before standing up