With a sighed, I leaned on the chair. My hand twirling the pen that used to be on my hold. I look at the blank paper, nothing was written on it.

Nothing. Absolutely nothing. It’s just a clean blank paper.

Blank... blank ji hyo...

I blink, shaking my head to erased what I’d just think now. Ugh, please stop appearing like you want jihyo-ah!

But she already invaded my mind, body and heart

I grab my head "STOP!" I shout, enraged and disappointed that I can’t seem to erased my feelings for her, even when she clearly told me that she don’t love me as a man at all

Why, why I fall for her? Why not any girl beside her?

Because it’s the heart that choose her not you

"ARGH!" I throw away the things on my table. I pant, trying to catch a breath. To calm myself I decided to went outside the apartment and wore a jacket & my L.A hat

I walk on the street as I look at my surrounding. Ahjumma scolding and nagging their kids, a family with their children, a couples and a group of kids playfully bantering at each other

"Where do you live?" a kid asked his friend. The friend look up and smile "There at xxx street" and the kid brightened up "I also live there!"

I chuckled, how nice it is to be little kids

“Yo jihyo where did you live?”

“I live in gary.. "

Time stop when she said that. I can’t stop smiling even if I didn’t want to seem so happy but seems like it caught on the tv

"He told me to said it"

"I live in gary.... wish it was true" I let a dreamy sighed, the warm feeling I tried hard not to let out just come on its own

I continued to walk mindlessly to where my feet dragged me to. Honestly I had no idea when and where did it brought me to the mall that we visited for running man episode 21

The humongous L mart.

The memories of me and jihyo, happily pick up toys, kidding and flirting without people care, saying sweet things for each other, not caring the looks that people give us from cringed, to puking and swooned.

And the fans that support us....

It was the best thing that happened in my life

But I know that happy things won’t last forever. And it was damn right.

I just know that jihyo had a boyfriend on ep 23. A caring, sweet boyfriend who turned out to be her ceo, he’s that lucky man. That one man who can make jihyo smile, sad, laugh, frowned and be violent

All the things I want to but can’t

Ironic it is when I finally hear my heart shattered to pieces when she happily introduce me to him

“Oppa this is my other half of Monday couple, the big brother playful oppa Kang Hee Gun or better know as Gary!”

I let a smile. Don’t know if it’s a sad or happy one. Sad that she introduced me to my rival as her big brother and happy that she trusted me so much to told me about her boyfriend first.

I walked inside the toy store, taking a look at the toys that catches my interest and the CD game where kwangsoo told jongkook to take it but the commander doesn’t take order from anyone, even more his dongsaengs

The kitchen set catch my eyes, remembering how we actually bought it but give it to the kids on her neighbor when we haven’t play it at all.

I picked it up, examining it as I let my fantasy of her cooking for me on the morning and I wake up to see her back, wearing an apron to cook for me. Just for me.

Sadly and lucky that ceo to get the back view of mong ji cooking breakfast for him

And it angered me as I thought of them exchanging warmth, in her apartment, his house- anywhere they want

They make love, not or ing senselessly. They make love. Make love because they love each other, they need each other in their life.

As it pained me that I can’t be jihyo’s real man, I still felt thankful for god to made me agreed to become a cast of running man, where I met her, where I finally stop toying around with girls and have an awesome dongsaengs and hyungs I’d never known until then.

"Oppa, what are you doing here?"

I sharply turned to where the voice is, looking marveled and surprised at the woman in front of me

"Jihyo?"

She laughed "I don’t know that Kang Gary love girls toys, especially kitchen set!" she pointed at me

And then I realized I was still holding the set of kitchen playhouse

If my body parts is alive, I would thank my leg and kissed it for brought me to here and met jihyo, without her man and hit my arm for making jihyo look at me in this ridiculous state