you're not

i want you (so please look at me)

A/N: This chapter is Yoongi's pov, I'm just writing it here incase any of y'all get confused :) Have fun reading and leave me a comment if you want ^^

Yoongi knows how Hoseok gets whenever there are competitions coming towards them so he takes time off to bring his friend coffee.

The rest of the club happily welcome him in, often urging him to stay. Jimin rewards him with hugs and bright smiles whenever he brings him coffee.

Things fall apart when Hoseok snaps one too many times.

A girl who Yoongi always sees Jimin stay behind to help begins to cry.

He watches as the girl stop where she is and the boy sends the both of them tumbling down, taking Jimin down with them. Yoongi is on his feet before he knows it.

He watches Jimin’s wince smooth away quickly as he begins murmuring to the younger girl as tears pour from her eyes. They get to the hospital in a blink of an eye and everyone else gets dismissed.

The boy is bowing apologetically but Jimin just gives him a reassuring smile.

Taemin, at least that’s what Yoongi thinks his name is, hurries towards Jimin’s side in a flash.

“You were the one who was supposed to be watching them.” Hoseok stands in front of Jimin, annoyance radiating from his body. “Why can’t you even do that right?”

Yoongi wants to step between them. He knows Hoseok is stressed out but even so, it’s not right for him to say those words.

“Hoseok-ah.” He speaks up to hopefully stop Hoseok from saying anything more he’d probably be regretting the next morning.

It doesn’t work.

Hoseok’s is completely out of it, saying things aimed to hurt. “He can’t even watch the freshmen, Yoongi. Why do I keep him here? He’s not the best dancer here and it’s not like we’d fail without him here.”  

Jimin looks as if he’s about to cry. He shrinks back visibly as if that could protect him from Hoseok’s words. Yoongi wants to deck Hoseok at that point but instead he stands there dumbly with a hand on Hoseok’s arm to restrain him.

Taemin jumps to his feet, blocking Jimin from view, looking so angry he could hit through a punching bag. “Jung Hoseok, watch your words.You know it’s not Jimin’s fault at all. It’s my fault if you want to blame anyone. I’m the one who's supposed to be helping with the freshmen.”

Hoseok looks ready to fight back. “If he was more observant, he would have noticed that Mina was always a step behind.”

Taemin doesn’t look the least bit happy about Hoseok’s words. Yoongi knew if things ever came to a physical fight, they’d lose. “You were the one who made her cry. If you weren’t like a prickly porcupine the entire time, she wouldn’t have been so terrified and-”

Yoongi is happy that Jimin has someone on his side who’d protect him from s like him, but he can’t have someone insult his friend without doing anything. “Are you trying to put all the blame on Hoseok?”

“Let’s not fight.” He hears the tremble in Jimin’s voice clearly and suddenly it feels as if there’s something uncomfortable lodged in Yoongi’s throat, as if someone forced him to swallow an entire bag of sand. “We still need to figure things out.”

Hoseok trembles beside him and it reminds him that Hoseok is still beside him.  “Are you alright? You know it’s not your fault.”

He knows Hoseok is blaming himself over Mina’s accident, he doesn’t need Hoseok to be drowning in guilt.

“Let’s all calm down first.” Jimin’s soft voice cuts through the tension, his tiny hand placed over Taemin’s. “Let’s go get something to drink before we figure out how to fill Mina’s spot.”

Yoongi sees how hard Jimin is trying to stay strong for the sake of the club but he sees his other hand wrapped around the ends of his shirt, tightly.

“I can’t stand to be here anymore.” Taemin smiles down at Jimin all lovingly and smug. Yoongi wants to pick a fight with the taller boy then and there so badly. “Let’s go.”

He sees Jimin nod at the other boy before he turns towards them. “I’m sorry for the things that happened today. I hope there won’t be hard feelings between us after this.”

When their eyes meet, he can only see the discomfort from them. They’re bright with unshed tears and at that point he wants to apologize so badly. He wants to tuck him into a protective bubble so no one ever hurts him again.

Jimin rips his gaze away from him so quickly, he feels another stab in his chest.

He opens his mouth to tell him—what? He was sorry? He should have defended Jimin? But Jimin turns away before he gets the chance. The only thing he can do is watch as Jimin takes step, after step away from him.


Hoseok is crying on his doorstep the very next day, regret clear on his face.

“Jimin won’t answer my phone calls.” Hoseok sobs into his shoulder. “I called him last night but no one answered. When I called this morning, Taehyung answered and told me Jimin was asleep but I heard him talking in the background!” He stays quiet and sets Hoseok onto the couch. “What do I do, Yoongi?”

He pushes away the thoughts of Jimin and focuses on the boy crying on his couch. “Go apologize to him.”

“You know I didn’t mean those words, right?” Hoseok sniffs. “What if Jimin quits? I would feel so guilty, I could die. Jimin is one of the most talented ones in the group, I don’t even know how I could say that about him. We need him!”

He lets Hoseok cry a little more before he shoos him off, leaving Yoongi with his thoughts occupied by Park Jimin the rest of the morning.

Hoseok comes back two hours later, with a tentative smile on his face.

“Fixed things?” Yoongi asks, but he knows the answer for sure. Jimin was an angel, he couldn’t even hurt a fly.

Hoseok nods. “I was so horrible to him and he just smiled and forgave me.”

“Then why do you still look so sad?” He long realized, Hoseok’s emotions were just as easy to read as Jimin’s.

“He hurt his foot yesterday.” Hoseok’s head slumps forward. “I can’t believe I didn’t notice and yelled at him for something that wasn’t even his fault.”

Yoongi frowns. Jimin hurt his foot? He’s halfway off the couch before he realizes what he’s doing. Hoseok shoots him a confused look and he quickly settles back down.

“Is... Is he okay?”

Hoseok nods again. “He twisted it but Jungkook wrapped it for him.”

Jeon Jungkook. His name always seemed to pop out whenever Jimin’s was mentioned and it irritated him to no end.

“You know how Jungkook is with Jimin, Namjoon told me he skipped out on practice and raced over to make sure Jimin’s foot was wrapped properly.” Hoseok continues not noticing Yoongi’s face getting darker and darker with every word.


The first hang out, Taehyung tells them Jimin was staying home because of his foot.

Yoongi doesn’t even notice that he’s not there. He doesn’t.

Until Taehyung speaks up.

“He wants to quit dance club.” Taehyung’s hands are clenched into fists and he sees Hoseok freeze.

“What?” Jin’s brows are furrowed in a frown. “He loves the club though. I can’t even count the amount of things he’s sacrificed for that club.”

“Some idiot made Jimin think that he wasn’t good enough for the club and was a damn burden. He wouldn’t tell me who it was and just fell apart in my arms. And I just let him. I didn’t know how to make him feel better.” Taehyung’s eyes are bright with tears.

Jin lays a soft, comforting hand on Taehyung’s shoulder. “I’m sure you did your best, Taehyung.”

“I was wondering if you guys knew who it was.” Taehyung turns to them. “I want to know who it was.”

Yoongi has his fists clenched under the table. He’s mad at Hoseok for saying those words in the first place, but most of all he’s mad at himself.

How could he let things get so out of hand. He thought everything would be okay because Jimin forgave Hoseok. He conveniently forgets about the morning texts he’d always gotten from Jimin suddenly becoming absent, he pretends not to miss having Jimin barge into his studio bearing coffee and bright morning greetings.

“It was me.” Hoseok says, eyes downcast.

It goes deathly quiet before Taehyung shoots to his feet so quickly his chair clatters uselessly behind him. Namjoon leaps into action and wraps his arms around Taehyung.

“How could you?” Taehyung roars, fighting against Namjoon’s hold. “You of all people should know what he’s done for the club and how hard he works. I thought the two of you were friends!

“We are!” Hoseok cries out between sobs.

“Are you really? Friends don’t ing bring one another down and make them feel like .” Taehyung struggles against Namjoon’s hold again. “I don't know what you said to make him feel like he's not wanted but just for the club, he went on a ing diet because one of those idiots you call a good teacher said he was fat. He ate nothing but ing salads for half a year. He still doesn’t eat properly now because he’s scared he’ll get ‘fat’ again.”

Hoseok begins to cry. “I thought things were okay between us. He accepted my apology and I thought he knew I didn’t mean those words.”

“No, you don’t get to cry.” Taehyung swipes blindly at his own eyes. “You’re the last one who gets to cry. You weren’t the one who had to see him stick his fingers down his throat. You weren’t the one who had to sit there helplessly and watch him cry himself to sleep. You weren’t the one who woke up to him trying to muffle his cries in the middle of the night.”

Yoongi can’t bear Hoseok’s gutted cries or hearing about all the things Jimin suffered through anymore, so he steps between them. “Kim Taehyung, you need to stop. Jimin didn’t tell you because he didn’t want this to happen.”

“Don’t you, of all people, dare in and pretend to know him so well.” Taehyung turns his glare towards Yoongi. “You’ve hurt him more than any of us here. You just conveniently begin to care about Jimin when it suits you but when it doesn’t, you hurt him. You’re blind to everyone else but Hoseok.”

He doesn’t need Taehyung to tell him how much he hates him right now because he hates himself too. A lot more than Taehyung can.

“Tae-Tae.” Jin steps in and calls him by the nickname Jimin uses, hoping that could calm him down a little. “Calm down, let’s hear Hoseok’s explanation first.”

“No.” Taehyung bites out. “I don’t want to hear any ing excuse he can come up with right now.”

“Taehyung, please.” Jin tries to keep his voice calm.

Taehyung shakes Namjoon off easily. “I’m done here, I don’t think I can sit here any longer without wanting to beat someone up.”

“Taehyung,” Jungkook, who has been quiet the entire time, calls out. “I’ll come with you.”

Taehyung stares at Jungkook for a while before he gives him a brief nod and storms out of the cafe, Jungkook following suit.

The rest of them just stand around awkwardly while Hoseok continues to sob.

Namjoon is the first one to blink out of his daze. “Maybe we should move to somewhere more private.”

Yoongi feels the curious stares prickling his back and he nods.

“My cafe.” Jin pulls Hoseok to his feet. “It’s the closest.”

Namjoon nods and all three of them quickly bundle Hoseok up and out of the restaurant.

When they get there, Jin dries Hoseok’s tears and they each nurse a cup of coffee as Hoseok tells them what had happened that day.

Yoongi can tell, neither Jin or Namjoon are particularly fond of them at that moment but they keep their composure.

It takes Namjoon a while to speak. “If you know you’ve wronged Jimin, then the next logical step is to apologize and make him see that your words were not from the heart.”

“Jimin has a kind heart.” Jin says simply. “Taehyung on the other hand, will fight anyone who dares hurt his soulmate.”

Namjoon chuckles despite the somber mood. “He actually tried to fight me because he thought I was bullying Jimin.”

“Was it when you dropped Jimin’s I-touch and cracked it?” Jin asks with a small smile on his lips.

Namjoon mirrors Jin’s smile as he reminisces. “Taehyung came up to me and demanded that ‘I fix the I-touch or suffer his wrath’.”

“Taehyung spent an entire week ranting over it when you just laughed.”

As much as Yoongi likes hearing about Jimin’s past, which consisted more of Taehyung, which he could care less about, he’d rather they figure out how to fix things.

Namjoon and Jin nod when he voices that out, keeping the former part to himself.

“I think the best way to go about this for now is to have a talk with Taehyung.” Jin pushes away his cup. “He’s the one closest to Jimin and knowing Taehyung, he won’t let any of us close to Jimin without his approval.”

Yoongi trusts Jin because out of all of them, Jin was probably the one closest to the pair.

If that wasn’t true before, it was definitely true now.


The second time, doesn’t go any better. Jin invites Taehyung over without telling him that both Yoongi and Hoseok would be there.

Taehyung is ready to storm out but Jin and Namjoon both plead for him to stay and listen.

The air is tense and Yoongi can tell which side Jungkook is on. It’s not his for sure.

Hoseok explains and he can see Taehyung’s nails digging into the palm of his hand, in effort not to lose his temper.

Taehyung’s look is cold and he can see Jin watching all of them carefully. Both he and Namjoon ready to spring into action if any of them looks as if they were ready to fight.

Taehyung isn’t happy with it but he begrudgingly nods and tells them he’ll try to convince Jimin not to quit. He makes it clear that it’s not for their sake but for Jimin’s.

He also makes sure to tell Hoseok and Yoongi that neither are to get anywhere close to Jimin without him.

Hoseok cries and Yoongi just holds everything in because he knows they deserve it.


The third time they get together is just plain awkward.

Taehyung spouts out a lame excuse of Jimin needing to finish a paper without much conviction. No one even bothers to say anything else.

Yoongi doesn’t miss him. At all.

Taehyung and Jungkook skip out early and Yoongi knows they’re off to find Jimin.

Apparently the third time is not the charm either.


On the fourth time, it’s because Jimin was ‘sick’.

Jin and Namjoon are exchanging glances across the table and Jungkook looks visibly sad. Hoseok looks just as bad, the guilt flowing off him in waves.

Taehyung gives in and takes Hoseok back to his dorm so he can see Jimin with a clear warning that if he even thought about hurting Jimin again, he wouldn’t hesitate to throw him out.


By the fifth time, Yoongi is ready to storm towards the dorms and yank the boy out but he comes, flanked by Jin and Taehyung on both sides.

The innocent look on Jimin’s face tells him that he doesn’t know anything that’s been happening. Jimin smiles at everyone but him. He goes around to hug Hoseok, probably because he is an angel and knows Hoseok would be feeling guilty, before he hurries back to the seat furthest away from him. He pretends not to notice that usually, Jimin would be in the seat next to his, chattering his ear off.  

The first time he sees a genuine smile come from Jimin is when a tall, lanky boy comes running towards Jimin.

Sejun clings onto Jimin like glue and they spend the rest of the night stuck together, the younger boy singing unending praises to Jimin whenever he can.  

Taehyung attempts to talk to them like usual but he can hear the stiffness in the other boy’s voice whenever he talks to either him or Hoseok directly. Jimin doesn’t notice or maybe he pretends not to notice for the sake of the group dynamic.

When they actually leave the place, it’s nearing 1 am and all Yoongi wants to do is sleep. He hadn’t been able to sleep well for the last few weeks and he feels like he can finally do that tonight. Everyone drank more than they did, probably because it’s been awhile since they’ve hung out with Jimin.

Hoseok is leaning on him, attempting to rap and dance at the same time.

Namjoon and Jin are right beside him, whispering disgustingly gross to each other as if they were the only ones in the world.

“Woah, be careful.” Jungkook’s voice rings across the quiet street and Yoongi turns just in time to see him wrap an arm around Jimin, with Sejun hanging off his back.

“Y’know Jiminnie was so nice and everyone loved him.” Sejun slurs. Part of Yoongi wants to tell him to shut up because all of them know that. They knew him a lot better now and now was all that mattered, not the past. “I thought I would be safe because I didn’t like boys but now I like boys.”

He has to fight a laugh at that because Jimin could totally turn straight guys gayer than gay with a smile.

Hoseok trips and he hurriedly rights him before he ends up with a scraped face.

Jimin giggles float towards him again. “You should find a boyfriend soon Kookie or else I might fall for you.”

This time Jimin had his arms wrapped around Jungkook’s neck, arms tangled with Sejun’s.

“I volunteer!” Sejun cries out loud.

From the corner of his eyes, he can see Taehyung and Namjin both turned towards the trio.

“I volunteer too!” Jimin throws his hand up as well, head tilted back giggling happily. “But I can’t! I have someone I like but he doesn’t like me! What should I do?”

Yoongi wants to ask which idiot wouldn’t fall in love with the ball of sunshine but instead he drags Hoseok towards Namjin. “Do you think Kook needs some help?”

“Kook, need help?” Namjoon calls out towards the trio.

“Sure, they both move too much.” Is Jungkook’s reply as the younger boy stares helplessly at the two at his feet.

“Yoongi can you go get one of them?” Namjoon asks. “Taehyung can take Hoseok since he’s not as out of it.”

He nods.

Taehyung isn’t as agreeable but he takes over in keeping Hoseok from running wild.

Yoongi doesn’t hurry towards the three of them. He doesn’t.

He focuses on pulling Jimin up from his position by Jungkook’s feet.

“It’s Min PD!” Jimin turns to Sejun with a bright smile on his face. It’s the first time all night Jimin’s face lights up when he sees him. “Look it’s Min PD!”

“I’ll beat him too.” Sejun climbs to his feet by pulling on Jungkook’s jeans.

He wants to laugh, like that drunk beanpole could fight him when he couldn’t even stand on his two feet.

“You can’t!” Jimin pouts and smacks Sejun on the shoulder when he’s finally on his feet. “Even though Yoon-Yoon was mean to me, you can’t hurt him or else...” Jimin trails off in thought. He spends those few seconds feeling his heart soar at the nickname before it tightens uncomfortably and drops the bottom of his stomach at the rest of the sentence. The feeling isn’t anything new and it feels vaguely familiar. “You can’t. He’s my friend and you’ll smush him!”  

“Come on. Let’s go home.” He admits that his tone softens because yelling at Jimin is like yelling at a child and probably will end up the same way, in tears.

Jimin twists out of his grip. “I don’t wanna.”

“I’ll take you home!” Sejun yells.

“Guys.” Namjoon is right beside them this time, sounding more exasperated. “What’s taking so long?”

“It’s Namjin!” Jimin stumbles towards the couple and trips over his own feet. He sees Jungkook step forward to right him but Yoongi already has a hand around his shoulders. Jimin’s shoulders are narrow and they feel so fragile under his hands.

“I don’t want Min PD.” That yanks Yoongi cruelly out of his musings and he lets go of Jimin easily enough. This time he recognizes the clenching in his heart for what it is. As if that wasn’t enough, Jimin lifts his hands towards Jungkook, as if asking the other boy to carry him. “Kookie can take me home because he’s nice to me or Tae Tae because I love him so, so much. Yoongi needs to take care of Seokie.”

“Alright.” Namjoon says. “Kook, you take Jimin then.”

“No, I got him.” He’s screaming in protest on the inside but he tries to be as calm as he can on the outside. “It makes more sense. Sejun is Kook’s height. I can’t support him properly.”  

Namjoon’s gaze is on him, eyes understanding. “The four of you deal with it yourself. I’m going to go ahead with Taehyung and Hoseok.”

Jungkook is also staring at him with a hint of challenge. He returns the gaze evenly before Jungkook breaks first and hefts Sejun over his shoulder. “Sejun, where do you live?”

“Come on, Jimin-ah. Let’s go before Jungkook and Sejun leaves us behind.” He tugs Jimin towards him.

“Okay, but I can walk by myself!” Jimin says brightly,

All Yoongi can do is watch as Jimin stumbles forwards and trips on the third step.  He slips an arm around Jimin’s waist again, feeling Jimin all too closely against him. “Let me take you home, okay?”

Jimin blinks at him. “What about Hoseokie?”

“He left with Taehyung already.” Yoongi is slowly forcing them forward, so they can be home before the sun begins to rise.  

“Oh, that’s why you’re with me.” Jimin’s voice is a mix of disappointment and acceptance, even the alcohol can’t hide.

Yoongi’s heart breaks a little when he hears Jimin say that and he hates himself for letting Jimin think that he’s always been a second choice to Hoseok.

Because he’s not.

He’s not.

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shazzron36
I'm not that great at writing, so please be sure to tell me if you see any problems or things that y'all liked especially~

Comments

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lilyana_tanoe #1
Chapter 9: Helppp.. The link's not working for me...😭😭
I wanna read this story, please...
Sanitykill99
#2
Chapter 9: "I'm not that great at writing, so please be sure to tell me if you see any problems or things that y'all liked especially~"...… every time I see this at the end of a chapter I just shake my head. You are an AMAZING writer, there are no problems, I like EVERYTHING , and I truly hope you start giving yourself and your beautiful way with words and strong characterizations some credit one of these days! You are so talented it's crazy!
scorpiobaby99 #3
Chapter 9: Please post it here too :(( i love this story so muchh
Siskatiska
#4
Chapter 9: Nice story..preferably if you continue in this site
34heeh43 #5
Chapter 9: I continued reading the story on AO3 and found it fascinating. Really fantastic plot. If you wouldn't mind continuing to post it here too, that would be awesome as well ^.^
chanyeolslayer69 #6
Chapter 9: Please keep it on here, I love your story
daedrey #7
Chapter 9: Reading it here is easier, but I can read it on the other site if necessary.
And thank goodness. For a second I thought you were gonna say you're discontinuing the story entirely. I was about to start crying and begging because this story is so good.
ninabulett #8
Chapter 9: I was surprised thought you wont continue this fic, keke~
Doesnt matter actually, i'll read it there, thank youu.. :D
Bchester #9
Chapter 8: So good