Jongin is there when Taemin opens his eyes. His chest feels so hollow again; it’s easier to breathe, but it’s like he’s missing a part of himself. The stitches pull slightly with every breath he takes.

“How is Key-hyung?” he asks. He doesn’t really care anymore, not in the way he did before the surgery, but Kibum is an important part of SHINee and it’s still a matter of concern whether he made it through the surgery or not.

Jongin scoffs. “He woke up yesterday. You’ve been dead to the world for almost two days, do you know? You were in the operating room for half a day. The roots had run so deep that they put you on a list for donor lungs for a while, because they weren’t sure they could save yours. What the were you thinking, Taemin-ah?”

So that’s how close he had been to death, Taemin realises, and a chill runs down his spine. It sounds so stupid now. It’s like throwing a tantrum; I’ll just die because this person I like doesn’t like me back.

“Can you tell the manager that I don’t want to see any of the SHINee members?”

Jongin nods. He reaches for Taemin's hand, squeezes his fingers gently. “You really scared me, Taemin-ah.”

~

Taemin gets his manager to move his things out of Kibum’s flat. He rents a small flat for himself just outside the city limits, in a hillside suburb where the air is crisp and earthy.

He starts working on his comeback. It’s both an excuse to avoid s and a good way to keep himself busy.

He goes out with a few girls. Apart from one rookie, none of them hold his attention; after their second date, her manager calls him and tells him that they can’t see each other because of a no-dating clause in her contract. Her phone has been confiscated. Taemin feels a brief flash of anger at her mistreatment, but a day passes and he finds himself not really caring anymore. It seems like there’s very little he cares about these days.

~

Inevitably, the time comes when Taemin can no longer avoid s Kibum without quitting SHINee not an option.

It’s time for them to promote their repackaged album, 1+1. A small mercy that life affords him is that the songs for the repack had been picked and recorded far in advance of the regular album, so the only thing remaining is for them to learn the choreography and get into the promotion cycle once more.

Since Taemin also taken part in choreographing the dance, he’s already in the practice room with Greg Hwang when the rest of them turn up. Kibum and Minho are visibly upset with him, but Jinki and Jonghyun chatter excitedly to him as if nothing has changed at all.

Everything goes as well as can be expected right up to the point when they do a first full run of the dance. Jinki and Minho are so out of sync with the music and they don’t seem to be able to imbue the moves with the emotions of the song. Jonghyun is okay, but he’s putting too much energy into what are supposed to be subdued moves.

Kibum is perfect.

Taemin is supposed to be monitoring his own moves in the mirror, but his eyes betray him. Kibum understands everything; the song, the dance, the emotion behind each move. He doesn’t even get a single line in the second bridge and chorus of the song, but Taemin can’t tear his eyes away from Kibum and the way he dances so perfectly beautifully to the choreography he made.

When the song ends, Jonghyun teases him. “Yah, Taeminnie, we can see from your face that you think we ed it all up.”

Taemin smiles, nodding his agreement.

“I know I screwed up the line formation,” Minho says. “We can try it again. Just point out what we need to fix first.”

So Taemin tells them; Jinki-hyung this, Jonghyun-hyung that, Minho-hyung, everything in between.

“What about me?” Kibum asks. He looks almost nervous, as if he thinks that Taemin is saving his worst criticism for last. It’s a look that Taemin never wants to see on Kibum’s face never wants to be the reason Kibum looks like that.

“You were perfect.”

Kibum blinks, surprised. “What?” Jonghyun, standing next to them, echoes Kibum’s question.

Taemin shrugs, attempting to be casual while his heart is thundering in his chest. “Key-hyung got it perfectly. Everyone should just follow how he’s doing it.”

Kibum flashes him a brilliant smile.

Something twinges in Taemin’s chest.