Seed II

Jongin is the first person he sees when he wakes up.

Then the members.

When Kibum walks in, there is a sense of familiarity – but nothing more. Taemin misses the affection he used to feel for Kibum but when he tries to remember what it was like, it feels like he’s trying to catch a fish with his bare hands.

No one asks who made the flowers grow.

He’s just tired.

~

He can’t sleep. It’s his bed that he’s slept in for three years now too high but comfortable all the same. Adam and Eve are in bed with him they’re not supposed to be because they shed fur everywhere and they radiate warmth love. The temperature is just right. His pyjamas are well-worn, soft.

But all Taemin remembers is feeling trapped in this room, with no way to escape from the managers gathered at the door. He remembers how he was still dressed in his pyjamas when they came. He remembers how Adam and Eve howled from his parents’ bedroom when he started screaming.

No matter how he tries, he can’t bring himself to close his eyes.

Jongin lives in the EXO dorm. Moonkyu and Sungwoon live in the Hotshot dorm. Kwonho is in the army and Jimin is overseas.

Taemin is so tired, but he dresses up and goes out. Wanders around Cheongdam in the middle of the night. It’s mostly a business district, so everything is shut except for the odd convenience store. There is a pojangmacha in a back alley; even from the road, he can hear the hooting of drunken customers and calls for more food. The ahjumma running it must be doing good business, he thinks. He considers going in and sitting down for a while, but it’s too noisy.

Taemin keeps walking.

When he looks up next, he’s surprised to find himself at the intersection in front of Kibum’s flat. It’s as if his feet remember what his heart does not.

It’s 3.20am.

Kibum will be asleep.

Taemin nearly turns around and walks away but something stops him he just wants a place where he can rest.

He rings the doorbell and waits. It takes a while but Kibum comes eventually, with Comme des and Garcons tagging along behind him. They’re so big, Taemin thinks absently. Bigger than Eve.

Kibum doesn’t ask him anything, just lets him in. Gives him clothes to sleep in. Allows Comme des and Garcons to stay with him in the guest bedroom even though, like Adam and Eve, they’re usually not allowed on the bed.

Taemin wakes up to sunlight streaming through the huge windows.

And to a pink petal on his pillow.