The scattered mess of withered petals pretty much summarised the chaos that now reigned in the life of the both of us. Small valleys of brown were drawn across what used to be delicately cut out circles of white. Over the rough surface of the desk though, they looked far from decent. Much like the of red across my arms, still throbbing with a dull pain. Worse was, however, the stabs at my heart every time a quiet sob slipped from the other side of the room. And in the darkness, a small silhouette curled around itself. Hesitantly, I reached a hand forward but all it caught was air...

The sound of rushing water was momentarily interrupted by a mild squeak, enough to urge my head away from the water already scooped in my hands. I blinked through the glassy beads stuck to my eyelashes, surprised by the sight of shoes sticking from beneath the concrete sink. The toes were curled inwards, heels shaking unsteadily as more of pale, plump calves disappeared underneath. The pink stars embroidered at the edge of the socks immediately directed my guess to a girl. Which proved to be correct when a series of soft grunts followed yet another squeak. Cautious, I turned off the tap and took a few steps backward. Not that it helped much with the sight; whoever was squirming like a worm down there was more or less concealed by their unruly hair.

"Excuse me? What are you doing?"

A pause. An aggravated silence. Hues of swirling gold in a muddy gaze blinked back at me, mirroring the same curiosity I knew was marred across my face. Though, it soon shifted to a ruddy brown, which was in turn joined by a small dab of pink across flabby cheeks. At least, it appeared on the rare inch of skin that was not covered in black stains. I quirked an eyebrow at that, slightly amused but mostly confused.

"Nothing," she quickly replied, tone low as she ducked into the crook of her arm. Ironically though, I could see her other hand tugging forcibly at something on the ground.

"Is your card stuck in the drain?" I asked nonetheless, crawling closer for a better look. Though, I didn't make it far as her sudden flinch had my steps falter. It was a weird display of vulnerability, one I was definitely not used to from strangers. Even more so, after that particular memory which was still fresh at the back of my mind. So different from that day... "I c-can help. I once d-dropped my flashcards in it too."

A light shake of the head and small, rosy fingers working more urgently, my offer only seemed to embarrass her even further. But all the will in the world would not let her precious card free from those sharp bars. Or rather, it wouldn't return intact if she continued on. The need to repay my gratitude and the genuine sense of care held me back from walking away. Instead, I crawled right beneath the outdoor sink too, just in time for a light crack.

"Using all your strength will only make it worse," I informed, fingers rushing over hers to hold onto the thin sheet. I was relieved to note that we were dealing with plastic, which was obviously far more resistant than cardboard. Even if it were to rip, the damage would be considerably less than what I had gone through with my own cards. "There's a little wire sticking from this corner and that's what could rip it in half if you're not careful. First, you should curve it in the middle like that and-  There you go! Barely any scratch!"

I smiled at the rectangular sheet, only catching a short glimpse of a burnt umber haired man holding a bouquet of white flower. Though, it was gone as soon as it'd appear and got quickly shoved into the front pocket of her shirt. The incident was quickly forgotten, however, with a shy 'thank you'.

Close. A little too close, I realized as her piercing gaze met my own shocked one. And before the next waft of warm breath could hit my face, I had pushed myself out and scrambled to my feet with unprecedented urgency. The quick acquiescence of her thanks was probably lost to the sounds of my shuffling steps. Somehow, I made my way to class, flustered and early by twenty minutes...

The few incidents that followed were not as striking; three seconds of an unfamiliar tune suddenly blasting in class, the mention of a name suddenly stuttered in class, tiny hands pressed hard against quivering lips, an unexplained squeal preceding the darkening of her phone's screen... Little moments that didn't really stick to the mind. Or, at least, not until Sebastian approached me after one particular Maths's class.

"Are you sure she's not hiding something?" he'd whispered as we walked, eyes skimming across the few students who still lingered in class. The sun had already trekked over half of its path, pouring a handful of rays across our desks. The peaceful morning of that Monday had promised nothing less for the remaining hours, hence my surprise at his words. "Cherry doesn't talk much about herself, does she?"

"What do you mean? She's pretty open about herself." I frowned, confused. It was pretty evident to everyone that Cherry was on the extroverted side of the spectrum, never shying away from a conversation. She could even be tagged as a chatterbox, never really knowing when to stop. It was this boastful side of hers, that confidence, that had immediately set her apart from the rest of us. How could he not know that?

"Yeah, she's an extrovert but what do we really know about her?" he scoffed, rolling his eyes at my cluelessness.

"She's Australian; eighteen; middle-child; lives with her father; likes swimming and running; is addicted to hoodies; can't spell zucchini; and, tells pretty bad jokes about bees," I replied, frowning. I really couldn't understand what he was trying to insinuate.

"Sure, stalker!" he scoffed again, this time reaching for the front pocket of his bag. He pulled out a diary, flipping across pages of what I easily recognized as the photos he'd contributed to our little fan club. But as talented as he was, I really wished he'd waited for everyone to leave before pulling it out. "Seriously, she never talks about her little sister. What radio station does her dad work for now and what does he do there? Where did she exactly live in Australia? How did she get admission when she can't even speak French. What are her hobbies? Her celebrity crush?... You'd think she'd at least tell one of her friends but everyone I asked was clueless."

He pushed the diary into my hands, index quickly circling over a few names as he explained his point. True to his word, it seemed like he'd been questioning a few people on the matter without much of a success. Yet, at the time, I couldn't really fathom the idea Sebastian brought forward. It seemed ridiculous and I didn't hesitate to let him know.

It took me almost a year later to finally approach him again, skeptical but not as much. His eyes seemed darker, thick creases at the edge of them as if he hadn't slept in ages. But his diary was thicker with photographs and questions, urging the doubt to set in. I couldn't find the papers Josh had printed after all and Sebastian claimed he wasn't even aware I had them. Even more troubling though was the numerous unanswered questions I'd been left with...

Almost two months into our relationship and things were going way better than we had imagined. The first semester exams had passed us by in the blink of an eye and it was with a victorious grin plastered on her face that Cherry met me out of the examination hall. Gone were the creases that adorned everyone's face only a couple of hours prior. Instead, hues of relief and uncertainty shimmered instead in dark-rimmed eyes. I was merely content with the eager tone of her voice as I basked in the warmth of her arms. "I finished the paper on time!"

"Good!" I chuckled, arm circling the width of her back just enough for a congratulatory pat. Just as quickly as they had come, those slender arms regained the side of their owner and I carefully handed her the mildly cooled coffee sleeve I'd been holding onto. "Does this mean the questions were easy?"

" Thanks! Number nine was a bit tricky but I think it went well. I got stuck on question eleven, though. The velocity one? I wasn't quite sure what to do after finding the area of the hexagon."

"Okay. We'll work more on that chapter."

"Okay," she acquiesced, with a light hop before suddenly whirling around. "Lucas! Do you know how to call a bear without ears?"

"Uh, no... I don't."

"B's..." she squealed, "Like, you know, you remove the 'ears' at the end and it sounds like 'bees'."

I settled with a light shake of the head, leading the way out of the school compound. I wouldn't say it but, it was a good one.

***

The busy streets of the main road found us huddling after a group of our classmates, joining in on the heated discussion of answers and holiday plans. We followed them towards the bus station, steps lingering at a few shops. But mostly, I kept a cautious distance between me and Cherry, feeling a little bit left out as they all conversed animatedly. The greetings had been brief, with the conversation flowing so naturally out of my reach that I kept to myself for the rest of the way. It was a short walk anyway, I reasoned with a quiet sigh. If only I had known...

Halting yet another futile skim through my phone's applications, I took in the carefully folded hoodie that now hung over her arm. It was a jinx, she said, to wear it during the exams but I also knew it as one of her favorite sweaters. In the other hand, she still held onto her coffee, which I assumed had probably gone cold while she talked. It wouldn't be the first time anyway. However, it was the first time she'd ever requested my attention with such a nervous tone.

"So," she began, gaze not really meeting mine. Intuitively, my lips thinned into a straight line, the trepidation already making my stomach churn. "They planned on going to the movies today and wanted to know whether I'd join."

"And?"

"And I thought... maybe we could go with them," she answered, eyes shifting from side to side as if that would prevent anyone from hearing. "It could be a secret date, without anyone knowing, and they're playing Black Panther."

Now, there was not a kaleidoscope of ways I could handle this. First and foremost, I could point out that the whole idea behind a secret was to limit the number of people aware of the situation. Furthermore, I could straight out refuse and remind her that we'd already settled for lunch in the Capital. Besides, I could also be the sacrificial lamb and bail out on the plan, giving her my blessings for the rest of the day. But that would make her feel as bad as the first one. Which brought us to option number four...

"How bad do you want to go?"

"Bad enough to pay for both of our tickets and lunch," she replied without skipping a beat, doing her damn best to make use of those puppy eyes. I caved in with a meek 'fine', reaching forward and bringing the uncapped cup to my lips. I figured it was all worth the squeal of joy that followed, even as the disgusting liquid trailed down my throat while small palms clutched at my arm excitedly. "Thank you, Lucas!"

I hummed as we crossed the distance between us and them, Cherry still glued to my arm as if anchoring me to the spot. Maybe she thought I'd vanish if she were to leave my side, which was not as unlikely with the way I was being outfaced. Hopefully, the afternoon would go smoothly.

"Lucas said yes!" she giggled enthusiastically before anyone could place a word. It felt out of place in this tensed atmosphere, soulless eyes peering at me being bar-like lashes. The floor was suddenly rather interesting to stare at... "We're only staying for the movie, though! My tutor doesn't really like giving holidays."

"You're sure you wanna tag along, teacher?" challenged one of the guys, a dotted face I instantly recognized as a benchwarmer of the football team. Those guys were oddly as popular as their active counterparts, often seen boasting about the sport despite never having actually scored anything. High school logic, I presumed... But whoever was scornfully smirking at me, definitely believed in their superiority. "The basketball team will meet us there, you know."

"I don't see how that would be-"

"I just re-remembered this thing... that I gotta go um do... at home... I can't go after all." I stammered, fingers already at work to free myself from Cherry's hold. But it was not as easy when holding onto a half-filled cup, all the while having her grip tightening dangerously. For what she lacked in height, Cherry compensated with her strength and I couldn't help but struggle more.

"What thing? You were supposed to have the whole day free for me!"

"I had but-"

No need for any more excuses; words themselves grew meaningless as I watched the cup slip out of my hands. It was a futile attempt of mine to try to grab it back as all I managed to do was knock it towards Cherry. Horrified, I could all but watch as the liquid splashed against her front, hungrily slipping into the white cotton of the beloved pullover. I forgot how to breathe for a few moments.

"Cherry, I'm so-"

I felt her tears rather than heard them, tiny beads that glistened over my arm as they fell. But what got me more was the expression on her face, lips quivering uncontrollably as she blinked incessantly. I'd rarely seen her cry before, let alone ever been the reason behind her tears. Which probably explained why my heart seemed to break as soon as our gaze met. All sense got lost in the moment and, with a rather hard tug, I pulled her close. My ears rang with the blood rushing to my brain while she murmured lowly into the crook of my neck, "Not on his birthday, not on his birthday, not on his birthday..."

It was the first major hint we'd been looking for.