You would think that after meeting your soul mate everything will change, life would be better, but four months later mine hadn’t. I was still miserable. Maybe even more miserable than before? I wasn’t too sure. I was always so out of it that I no longer could differentiate one thing from another.

And he hadn’t sought me out or communicated with me for those four longing months. That was the worst part. There was a high chance he would never find me because we didn’t even exchange names or so I’d wished to do in his face. For him to lose the rights over a soul mate he couldn’t wait for. But still I had this tiny hope I couldn’t deny. A hope that he would do something, anything to get me, but that hope was slowly dying.

I wanted him to be persistent in chasing after me even if I knew I would continue to only drive him away. Sadly my soul mate wasn’t as stubborn as I thought he would be. He just walked away and didn’t look back when I told him to leave. And maybe that was my choice and I left him without it. But why did he give up so easily? Maybe he didn’t really want me. I was starting to believe that even more.

I had told myself countless times that he probably at least had that teensy bit of interest or intrigue towards me since we were both connected in such a way that science couldn’t even explain. The sparks were obvious and evident. The pull was still stringing me towards him even with the infinite distance between us.

But maybe fate wasn’t enough to connect two people who were destined for each other even before they were born.

The sad thing was that life must go on. I still needed to eat, sleep, go to work and the routine was like that every single day. I didn’t know how I was able to last doing this after I was done with school, but now I just felt always tired, restless. I wanted to quit but surely my mother would know that something must be going on and I had to cover it up and not worry her more than I already did for the past four years.

So, here I was working like a dog, accepting all the criticism thrown my way. My immediate boss was even worse to me than before, giving me triple the workload even though most of it should have been his. I should have exploded by now at how poorly he was treating me, but I was barely even breathing on my own that I couldn’t spare energy on lashing out at him. And then there were my co-interns who wouldn’t give me a break too just because I happen to get in the company with an additional recommendation from the Executive Director?

What was so wrong about it? I didn’t tell them to hire me. Besides, I also worked my off to pass all three rounds of the interview. I knew I was here because I had skill or so I thought. That I didn’t really get why people either looked at me as if I was the worst scum of the earth or as if I was the hero they’d been waiting to help them get the promotion they needed. It wasn’t like I could curse or do miracles, right?

I was just as human as everyone else. Yet, I was treated less than human. I don’t get it.

 “Ya, Lee Yoon, want to eat together with us?” Someone from the cafeteria called.

I looked at their direction and there were unfamiliar faces together with the person that hated me most. She smirked as I continued to stare at them. Nara.

“No, thanks,” the words came out automatically, a smile forcing its way to my lips.

“Oh, yeah?” An unfamiliar guy raised a brow but nodded feigning understanding though the look of displeasure was evident on his face. I let it go, trying to calm down. “Well then, maybe next time?” I nodded, turning away.

“Why does she look so highly of herself?”

“She even rejects this kind of offer? We’re considered the best interns in this company and she’s just—“

“Well, who wants her? We’re just trying to be nice to her because the ED hired her.”

I tightened my grip as I braved through the voices always scoffing at me and the stares burning the back of my skull as I passed through. Sometimes I just feel so tired of them blatantly badmouthing me as soon as I turned my back, but I wasn’t anyone powerful. No one would be on my side even if I tried to defend myself because they were all dead set on hating me.

“She just got in because she knows the ED!”

“Oh, is that her? The intern the ED hired? Wow, she’s so—normal.”

“Shut up. She can hear you.”

“Who cares? It’s better she knows her place.”

I sat down at a table at the far corner of the cafeteria where I always ate my meals alone. I was so used to it that I was surprised when someone slammed their tray on the table top.

“They are all still at it huh?” Kim Jiwon.

I stared at her as if she was some kind of alien. I mean, Kim Jiwon? Jiwon had already established her own clique in the company that I didn’t think she’d want to be seen with the loser. Me.

“J-Jiwon-ssi.”

“Yes?” She looked up, spoon midway .

“You’re sitting with me.”

“Yes.” She affirmed, not really realizing the problem with it. “Don’t you like me sitting—“

I panicked, waving my hands dismissively, not to offend her. “It’s just weird. You u-usually sit with your friends.” She shrugged.

“Well, I told them I’m sitting with you today.”

“Oh,” I was surprised how it was so easy for her to do that. “Won’t they get upset?”

“Why would they be?” She paused, gauging my reaction. “You’re my friend too.”

I froze, hearing the words were like warm hands rubbing against mine in a cold winter night. It was the first time someone boldly declared association with me after a long time. Friends? The last time someone said something akin to being friends was when I met Kim Joonmyeon at the palace.

Being occasionally reminded of him made me sometimes smile. Joonmyeon sounded so genuine when he said it anyway. That sometimes I wished my soul mate ended up being just like him.

But he wasn’t. So, I could only dream.

“Anyway, have you heard?” Jiwon snapped me out of my thoughts.

“What?”

“The bosses had been talking and I overheard something.” She gestured for me to come closer as if what she was going to say was something top secret. I complied, though, leaning closer, letting her breath tickle my earlobe. “They said that someone filthy rich bought the company triple its price. I heard he’s coming to visit tomorrow.”

My eyes widened at the news. “Really? But didn’t they say the President had no intentions of selling the company? He was ready to pass it down to his first son.”

“I know,” she agreed, pulling away a bit, crossing her arms over her chest. “If the rumour is true about the new owner then we’ll probably understand why the President sold it to him when he comes tomorrow. Maybe he’s a grumpy old man that put a gun to the President’s head, threatening to kill him.” We both laughed under our palms at her joke and continued making our theories until we forgot what we were even going on about.

When lunch was over I felt an overwhelming sense of aloneness again as we waved goodbye to each other. I was used being alone, but the mere thought of people leaving still made me wish we had more time. It was just human instinct. After all, no man was an island.

“That was really fun,” I mentioned.

She smiled at me, nodding. “Yeah,” she agreed