The biggest hypocrite- is herself.

Telling lies became like her second nature. Proven by yesterday, she lied to singer. Seulgi talked like she is obsessed with having a good future. But she was all talk. There is no cram happening, at all. 

“Life” the word that the singer had said floated in the corner of her mind. 

There might be no particular deep meaning behind of it; it might have just been the way of the singer’s way of saying that she put her life into singing, etc. But there is really something going on behind the seriousness of the singer’s face and how the singer stresses the word “life”. – It was as if light was emitted from the singer’s eyes.

She doesn’t have any interest in singers or anything about music, she hardly know any of the names of the musician even in the current generation she was in. She couldn’t understand how warmed up and excited the people cheering and singing along with the singer on the stage. Aren’t they supposed to just listen? Like how people calmly listens to the song in their playlist? 

More importantly, God, she hated crowds. 

Anyway, the fact that she was there, standing a little away from the crowd with a camcorder in hand proves she was still a human after all. A weak human nature that is easily gets affected by just words of other people. 

“Life” if the singer hadn’t told her about it, she probably not wasting her time here. Seulgi knew this was a bad idea, yet here she was, curious about the “life” the singer is talking about.

Bright, colorful glowing sticks surrounded her as Seungwan came out the stage. Boys near her giggle, rushing past, even girls are enthusiastically staring at the singer as if they were preaching a God.

“Seungwan sunbaenim!!!”

Suddenly, the girls yell in unison while the singer is doing a mic check. The singer rounded as if saying “Oh? And turns around as the girls let out a squeal in full delight.Seulgi gee-zes after, because it sounded more like a scream than a squeal.

“Excuse me, sorry, pardon me” still ever polite, Seulgi managed her way closer to get a better angle even though she is not looking forward to this event.

 Suddenly she don’t know why but her heart stand still momentarily when Seungwan starts singing an English song she couldn’t comprehend, especially to the fact that she was startled that the singer had looked at her way.

Seulgi wondered if the singer noticed that she was here- filming as promised.

Then Seulgi wondered why she’s here. It felt so strange for her that she is standing alone, in a sea of people. 

“You only have to tape me” 

“How about the background?”

“Whatever is fine, but just make sure to keep on track of me.”

“Who are you going to show this to?”

“I’ll explain later but for now, just film me, all right?” 

The singer’s instruction to her is very clear, and Seulgi is doing her best to keep the lenses of her camera on the singer’s direction only. Seulgi adjusted to focus after making sure that the settings were correctly set.  Even though the girls around her had already received countless of glare from her by the time Seungwan had started singing. Seulgi’s teeth grit in slight irritation at the arrogance these girls around her exuding.

Seulgi looks through her viewfinder again, adjusting the focus to zoom in only at the singer- the singer’s eyes were sparkling. It was similar to how Seulgi enjoys the feeling while staring at her finished manuscripts. The singer must really like singing- the crowd, the music and even the mic in her hand. 

The first two songs ended smoothly for the both of them. Seulgi is sure she hadn’t missed great angles of the singer. Well minus the screaming of the girls around her, that Seulgi hopefully would find a way- concerning the noises in the audio settings as she edit it later on. Seulgi had stopped filming when the host of the event comes in the stage with a mic in hand. The singer’s manager also went up just to give a water bottle to the singer. 

Whenever the MC asks something about Seungwan’s personal life, the crowd would either scream in delight or clap exaggeratedly and for Seulgi it was sickening. When Seulgi set her eyes on the stage again, the MC was already going down the stage and the singer is looking at her, signaling her to continue the filming which she obediently did. 

The Son Seungwan captured in the viewfinder of the camcorder appears visibly more emotional than before. The last two songs are all ballad, as the audience sang along with the singer, as if singing their hearts out. When Seulgi zoomed in, Seungwan wasn’t smiling; the singer had her head down, singing so passionately and emotionally. It looks like the singer is about to cry, and when Seulgi pushes the zoom in button once more, inside the viewfinder where only Seulgi could see, captured the tear that slid out in the singer’s eye. 

After the event, Seungwan met Seulgi in the room where they had first met- the art room.

“Do you know the YiYang health care in Hera?” 

“I’ve never been inside there, but I know where it is.” 

With one last look at the phone, the singer whose face is absolutely tired from the event looks up on her. “One o’clock infront of the entrance. Bring today’s film with you.”

With that, Seungwan left her without waiting for her reply. That moment, Seulgi thought; what a self-centered bossy girl, this singer is.

Strangely enough, she isn’t irritated or making any fuss about that. When Seulgi gazes down at the singer through the window, the singer was being surrounded with almost more than twenty students, some of them wearing a shirt with Seungwan’s name printed on it. 

The singer had that “freshest” smile ever on lips as the singer keep smiling at them. The singer is proportionally up okay around her fans contrast to the state the singer showed at her minutes ago. Maybe it was called the “fan service” thing which Seulgi found so ridiculous. People should be honest with their feelings. If they’re tired, show them how tired you are. If you are sad, show them how lonely you are and if you are happy show them how happy you are. That is why seeing people who act like the singer, she doesn’t even bother try and understand their behavior. Her time is much too precious.

Seulgi lifts her elbow before she places the camcorder near right eye, zooming at the viewfinder, she clicks the button and an image of Seungwan around her fans captured in second. Seulgi didn’t know why there was a smile that appeared after she captured the moment, even though her mind flashed back to the serious look on Seunghwan’s face as the singer said “Don’t get any shots in of the fans”.

ALLIANCE OF 94s

The next day comes, and if the singer is talking about the general hospital at the Hera, Seulgi is sure she has been in the area before, though she would only catch a glimpse of the main door of it. It has wide entrance with automatic sliding glass doors, ambulances line up outside, some paramedics wheeling in patient on trollies, some child slumped in their arms, that in the next few hours, ambulances keep arriving, bringing sick patients in hurry inside. 

When Seulgi thought she wanted to see someone dying, she really meant it and she thought of the hospital- the only place she could witness how a person dies. 

Maybe this is one of the reason why she agreed to the singer’s favour and it must be a fate that in the end, she ended up going to hospital- the place she yearn to fulfill her greed. 

Seulgi gets off at the bus stop