All the oxygen seemed to have been from the room and my world started spinning on its axis.

This can’t be true. Imposible. Nananaginip pa yata ako. (Impossible. I must still be dreaming.)

I slapped myself. Hard.

Yep. I’m awake.

“Yeoboseyo? Yeboseyo? (Hello? Hello?) I heard Bang PD’s voice echo from my phone on the bed. I hurriedly grabbed my phone and put it on my ear.

Wow. You are so rude Y/N.

“Yeoboseyo? Joesonghamnida, Bang PD – nim.” (Hello? I’m very sorry, Bang PD – nim.) I apologized quickly.

Then still in doubt about what I heard, I clarified the news. “But are you sure?”

“Yes! Congratulations you just got accepted as a trainee under Big Hit Entertainment! There will be an official meeting at around 11am today, so please be at the Big Hit Office before then.” Bang PD – nim confirmed again.

“Bang PD – nim!” a voice suddenly called from the background.

“Ne! Naneun geogieiss-eulgeoya!”(Yes! I’ll be there!”) Bang PD – nim barked out. “Well, Y/N –ssi I have to go now.” He said to me. “See you at 11am!” then he promptly ended the call.

The dial tone sounded and I sat there like an idiot, trying to process it all in, the words of Bang PD replaying over and over in my head.

No way. Really?

“NO WAY!!! I’M GONNA BE A TRAINEEE?! YEEESSSSS!”, I screamed in utter glee as I finally jumped up and down the bed.

Ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod. Holy crap.

Then my jubilation reached greater heights as I bumped my fist into the air. “Thank YOU LORD! The best po talaga kayo! Salamat po talaga!” (You really are the best! Really, thank you so much!)

I did a few more happy and awkward dances when I remembered I had to call Mi Young!

Feeling the rush of excitement bubble up even more, I swiped my phone from the bed and quickly dialed her number. On the second ring, she answered, apparently still in bed.

“Yeoboseyo?” she answered sleepily.

“YOUNGIEEEEE!” I screamed at her.

“Wae? (Why?) What is it? Please don’t scream so loud, it’s 9 at a Saturday morninggg.” She whined

“IGOTACCEPTEDASATRAINEE!

BANGPDCALLEDMEEARLIER! I’MGONNABEATRAINEEATBIGHIT!!! GWAHHHH!!!” I crowed at her in one breath, unable to control my happiness.

A pause. Then.

“Jinja?! Daebak! Chughahae!!!” (Really?! Awesome! Congratulations!), She screeched at me now fully awake.

I chuckled at her outburst. She really was an awesome friend.

“But seriously this is REALLY good news! You did it! You’re one step closer to your dreams! But please don’t forget me when you get big and be a worldwide superstar!”she gushed.

I snorted. “Thank you. But I would have to be a member of a girl group first before I can become this worldwide superstar.” “I’m still a trainee, remember?” I pointed out.

“That’s true. But you forget, you’re talented, hardworking and an all – around great person.” She intoned then paused.

“Plus, I believe in you. You should too.” She encouraged me.

Hearing those words, I felt tears prickle at my eyes.

I’m so lucky to have her.

Wiping the tears away, I cleared my throat. “Yes, I’ll remember that. Thank you so much. For everything.” Then I hesitated, thinking what I next said might be too mushy.

I was never mushy.

But if I don’t say it now, then when do I ever get to say it?

Screw it.

“A-and most importantly for being my friend. I’ll do my best! Fighting!”

She said a little “aw”, and I could hear her sniffling at the background.

Ever emotional.

“It’s no problem at all! You can do it! Fighting!” she said with vigor.

Glancing at my bedside clock, I saw that the time was 9:45. The meeting was at 11am. Uh – oh. I needed to get ready if I want to be on time.

“Listen Youngie, I’m really sorry if I have to cut this so short. You see Bang PD said the trainees will have a meeting at 11. I need to get ready. I really don’t want to be late.” I explained.

She whistled. “Ooh. That sounds big. Don’t worry at all! You better get going. Just tell me all about it later when you get back ‘kay?”

I smiled at her chirpiness. “Of course! I’ll leave nothing out! Annyeong!”

“Annyeong!” she said and cut off the call.

Then I put my phone down, officially got out of bed and stretched my body out. I sighed.

This is it, Y/N. Go get em’ tiger.

So I showered, dressed and went on my way.

Approximately 45 minutes later, after a mostly uneventful train ride except for the fact that my nerves were buzzing with both nervousness and excitement, I arrived at the Big Hit Entertainment building.

I never thought I’d be back here again, I thought as I strolled through the lobby and went up the receptionist to ask where the meeting for the trainees was to be held. She smiled at me, then pointed me to the stairs and gave me directions to a conference room at the far end of the hallway in the second floor.

I grinned then bowed at her and went up the flight of stairs, walking until I arrived at a big oak door. Pausing, I blew out a breath. Then I gripped the door handle and went inside, all at once feeling deflated.

It was empty.

Feeling confused and lost, I looked at my watch. It read 10:30.

What the heck. I was too early.

Chuckling and rolling my eyes at my absent – mindedness, I proceeded to sit at the opposite side of the long conference table. Meanwhile, with nothing else to do, I took notice of my surroundings.

It was quite a sizable conference room, able to accommodate about twenty people at once with pristine white walls and a high ceiling. Behind the farthest seat opposite the door, a small platform with a podium lay where I surmised the presentations for ideas or concepts are held. Beyond that, a big white screen was mounted on the wall, with a LCD projector hanging on the ceiling opposite it.

Cool and fancy.

In this room, superstars were born. Would we be able to measure up to them? Or better yet, can we carve our own path and still make our mark?

Would I even be good enough to get into a girl group?

Deep in my own thoughts, I didn’t notice the door open, so when it suddenly squeaked, I immediately shot out of my seat.

“Aigoo!” (Goodness!), I exclaimed

The person who just came in mirrored my own shock and for a few seconds, there was an awkward silence. Then finally looking at her closely, recognition and surprise lit up my face.

“Somi – Unni!” I crowed as I ran up to her.

“Y/N!” She greeted me with a knowing smile.

“You got accepted, too? Wah! Neomu meosjida! (Wow! That’s so cool!)

She giggled. “Ne. Apparently, the judges liked me well enough. You, on the other hand, I had no doubt would be picked.” Then she winked at me.

I laughed sheepishly. “That day, you were trying to tell me that the judges actually liked me, weren’t you? But I still can’t believe it all. It’s so unreal.

Leisurely, Somi – unni grabbed my hand and led my back to my seat and sitting directly beside me. “Well, you better believe it girl because this is really happening.” Immediately, she flashed me a megawatt smile.

I gave her a small smile in return.

“Although I wonder why we were suddenly called today. Neomu ppalla (It’s so fast.), don’t you think? I mean we just auditioned yesterday.”

I nodded at her, feeling dubious myself. “I was wondering the same thing too. Maybe Bang PD has something big planned?”

“Maybe.” She murmured. Too soon, the door opened yet again and in came quite possibly the cutest, most adorable, person I have ever seen. She had a big pink bow nestling on a mop of platinum blonde, curly, bob – cut hair. With a cute, pert nose, chubby, rosy porcelain cheeks and childlike almond – shaped eyes, plus enveloped in a lacy, confection of a white dress she looked so young and angel-like. She pranced in towards us and gave a delightful bow.

“Annyeonghaseyo.” She addressed us politely with a hint of an accent I couldn’t place “Naneun Miyazaki Haruka. Mannaseo bangapseumnida!” (I’m Miyazaki Haruka. Nice to meet you!) She bowed again.

Ahh. So that’s where the accent comes from. She’s Japanese.

Ever the vivacious conversationalist, Somi – unni at once replied with a bow of her own. “Annyeong! Naneun Kim Somi.” Then she pointed to me “Igeos-eun, Y/N – ssi.” (And this is Y/N – ssi) I bowed to Miyazaki – ssi in response. “Jeodo mannaseo bangawoyo.”(Nice to meet you too.)

Then seemingly wanting to break the ice between the three of us, Somi – unni unhesitatingly asked her. “Miyazaki – ssi, dangsin-eun yeong-eoleulhasibnikka?” (Miyazaki – ssi do you speak English?)

Confused and a bit startled, Miyazaki – ssi tilted her head and replied. “Yes. I won’t consider myself an expert but I can speak it just fine.”

“Oh good!” Somi – unni breathed in relief and clapped her hands. “You see Y/N – ssi here isn’t very fluent in Korean and I really wouldn’t want her to feel left out from our conversations. Do you mind if we talk in English?”

I tried to duck my head, with my palm on my neck while peeking at Miyazaki – ssi to gauge her reaction. She gave a huge smile in understanding and shook her head, again in that cute way.

It comes naturally to her, I guess.

“Not at all! If I can get to know you guys better if we speak in English, I’ll go for it!” At this I straightened up, looked at her in the eye then glanced at Somi – unni who was apparently looking at me the whole time. We grinned slyly to each other. Then together we smiled at her.

“And please,” she said as she clasped her hands in front of her. “Call me Haru or Haruka for short. Miyazaki – ssi seems so formal don’t you think?” This time, I replied to her while rubbing my neck shamfaced. “Of course, Haru. Sorry if I seemed rude earlier.”

“It’s no problem! So how old are you guys? I’m 22.”

“I’m 24 so I guess that makes me your unni?” Somi – unni winked.

“I’m 21 so that would make you Haru – unni to me then.” I chuckled, which made my other unnis giggle as well.

Haru – unni was about to ask Somi – unni something when a fourth person burst through the door and we all swiveled to look at her. If Somi – unni was the vivacious, gorgeous energy and Haru – unni was the cute, adorable angel then her is the mysterious, vixen. And she really was a vixen. She had long, wavy red hair, china doll skin, doe eyes and well – defined brows. She had on gray skinny jeans and a white blouse that showed off her statuesque figure. Over- all her aura screamed “Don’t mess with me or you’ll regret it.”

Fierce.

I gulped nervously. I’m not good in interacting with haughty women, at all. I hope she isn’t so bad.

She walked toward us, still so mysterious and intimidating.

Then she gave a bow and acknowledged us. “Anyeonghaseyo. Naneun, Zhang Feng Jiu. Jeulgeoum-eul chungjog.” (Hello. I’m Zhang Feng Jiu. Pleasure to meet you.) Slowly, she gave us a cordial smile.

She’s Chinese? Is this group of trainees going to be of different races?

We all beamed and bowed in response.

“Annyeong. Naneun, Kim Somi.” Somi – unni first piped up

“Naneun, Miyazaki Haruka.” Haru – unni spoke next.

“Naneun, Y/N.” I introduced myself last.

“Ah, Zhang – ssi dangsin-eun yeong-eoleulhasibnikka? “ Somi – unni asked yet again.

This time my face burned even hotter with embarrassment.

You have to master Korean fast, Y/N! You can’t be a burden anymore!

Nonchalantly, Zhang – ssi replied. “Yes. I can speak and understand it but just the basics.”

At this, Somi – unni’s bright smile made another appearance. “That’s ok. It’s just that not all of us here are fluent in Korean here. I hope you don’t mind if we speak in English.”

“I don’t mind. And please Feng Jiu is fine.” She assured us in an slightly easygoing manner.

“Got it Feng Jiu. How old are you by the way?” Somi – unni inquired.

“I’m 23. You?”

“I’m 24.”

“22.”

“21. So I’m the youngest then huh?” I quipped uncertainly.

“Waa! Y/N that makes you the maknae! How cute!” Somi – unni squealed

“I’ve always wanted to have a younger sister! This is too cool!” Haru – unni shrieked.

“Well, I’ve always wanted to boss a younger sibling around so this’ll be good.” Feng Jiu - unni joked, although with that glint in her eye I couldn’t be sure. For some reason, I got nervous again.

Suddenly, the door opened and Bang PD – nim walked in. We hurriedly composed ourselves, gave polite bows and greeted him with a chorus of “Annyeonghaseyo!”

“Annyeong girls!” he boomed then gestured for us to have a seat.

He sat down as well and began speaking. “Before I break the news to you, I’m just going to warn you that I’m going to be speaking in English for the rest of this meeting for the benefit of everyone here.” He shot a wink at me and I guiltily gulped. “Now that we’ve got that cleared up, as you all know you’ve been called here today for the trainees’ meeting. So I would like to congratulate you all again for doing great in your respective auditions. Welcome to the Big Hit family!”

Each of us murmured our thanks and Bang PD pressed on. “As you know, trainees undergo severe and rigorous training in singing, dancing and even acting for years. Eventually those of the best of the best are picked as members of groups which will then debut to become K – Pop idols.”

We nodded at him, showing our understanding.

“And you have become just that. You are now trainees.” “But,” he paused for effect. “What makes you different from other trainees is that you were handpicked with the girl group and concept already in mind. In other words, you are trainees but surefire idols in the future. There will be no further screening from a big group of trainees. You four are it. You are going to be a part of a four – member girl group that Big Hit has been planning for since BTS made a breakthrough.”

Dumbstruck and in awe, we all glanced at each other, as Bang PD shared his “vision”.

“We had those auditions because we wanted the best. The best at the least amount time possible. We’re putting a lot on the line here ladies, so we only picked those of top – tier star quality. And we narrowed it down to you four.” He looked at us one by one in the eye.

He leaned forward, with his arms clasped at the front. “From here on out, it will be a heavy and a hellish training for you. You’ll be training every day, for twelve hours in all types of dancing, hip – hop, jazz, you name it, from the basics to the master – class. You’ll also be having vocal lessons, from pronunciation to diction to tone and even pitch.” “Moreover, you’ll be undergoing language lessons. As idols, communication is very important. ” He threw another quick glance at me. Then, he stressed the next words carefully, seeming to hint the gravity of his words. “Oh and before I forget, starting tonight, you’ll be living together in the same dorm, just like family.

“What?” we all cried out in surprise

Unruffled by our sudden outburst, Bang PD pushed on. “I expect each of you to treat one another in such a way. Tomorrow, the real work begins.” He finished.

We threw looks to one another, carefully processing all the information in.

A beat of silence, then.

“We understand, Bang PD – nim.” We said in unison. “We’ll move in tonight.” Somi – unni added.

Then hesitatingly, I raised my hand, a concern in mind.

“Yes, Y/N? What is it?” Bang PD acknowledged me.

“U-um Bang PD, I just have a question? What about work? If training starts tomorrow, how are we to let our employers know we’re quitting?” I asked, a worried frown pleated on my face.

“Oh! That won’t be a problem! We’ll take care of any and all legal matter that concerns you all. Also, in regards to money matters, you’ll receive a weekly allowance of 25, 000 won to cover any expenses you have.” He soothed us. “Just concentrate on your training, all right?”

“O-okay.” I replied while the others nodded in contentment, utter relief evident in their faces.

Abruptly, Bang PD stood from his seat, looking upset as he sneaked a glance at his watch. “Whoops, I’m sorry ladies but I have to go. I have another meeting after this. Sigh. Being director is certainly not easy.” Then, he looked at us apologetically. “Anyways, go home for now and pack whatever things you may need for the big move tonight. I’ll send someone to pick you up at your homes at around 7pm. Again, welcome to the family!” He said, quickly exiting the room.

When he left the room was once again enveloped by a loud silence. We looked at each other, clearly still overwhelmed by the outcome of the meeting.
In a few moments, Somi – unni tittered. “Well, that’s that. Talk about pressure.”

“Yeah. Leave it to Bang PD to give us a heck of a shock. Whew.” Feng Jiu – unni chimed in.

“I don’t know about you guys but I am excited! This is all so thrilling!” Haru – unni contradicted.

We all scoffed but then eventually laughed at her positivity. She was one strange lady.

“Ok girls. You all heard Bang PD. Let’s all go home and pack.” Somi – unni said.

“Ok. See you all, later!” we chorused as we exited the room and went into our own homes to gather our things.

Hours later, at exactly 7pm, I was waiting by the street outside my apartment with things in tow, when a white van screeched to a stop in front of me. The door suddenly slid open and Somi – unni’s sunny smile greeted me.

“Annyeong Y/N! Hop in!” She called.

“Annyeong unni!” I replied as I heaved my stuff up the van.

In an instant, the driver’s door opened, the driver coming out and I squeaked in surprise.

(Never, ever surprise me. I get uncharacteristically girly and wail-y when you do so and I may as a reflex, punch said person who surprised me.)

Fortunately for the driver, I was carrying a lot of luggage so all I managed to give her was a small glare.

Surprisingly, she just laughed at my outburst and subsequent response and took some of my stuff into her arms.

“Mianhamnida. (I’m sorry) My fault. I help you.” She said in broken English, her face a bit remorseful.

“Gwenchanhayo. Kamsahamnida.(It’s okay. Thank you.) I just overreacted.” I replied as peace offering.

She smiled. “I understand. I am Shin Mi Kyung.” Then she pointed to herself. “Manager.” Pointed to me. “You.”

Realization dawned on me. “Oh you’re our Manager! Nice to meet you! I’m so sorry for being rude earlier. That wasn’t nice.” I bowed deeply in shame.

She waved her hands in dismissal. “It fine. You go in. We go.” Quickly, she deposited my stuff in the trunk and went back inside the car. I also crawled into the van and saw the faces of my three unnis lit up with glee and mischief. The van then sped off and Somi – unni chortled.

“Sooo you don’t like being surprised, huh?” “I never would’ve thought that from someone as boyish and gruff as you.” Haru – unni commented in awe. “True. This could be our secret weapon.” Feng Jiu – unni sneered.

“Don’t even think about it.” I warned them with a glare.

“Gehehehe.” Was their only response.

Oh great.

In a while we arrived at our new home. Our new Manager who we now called “Mi Kyung – unni” (She was already 30 years old but she looked so young! Koreans are immortals, I tell you!) led us through the small but elegant apartment complex, into the furthest room in the second floor. The room was small but not that small. It had a modest yet stylish living room with a small plasma tv, with a white coffee table and plush sofas surrounding it. Beyond the living room, was a hallway that split into two. To the left, lay a medium – sized kitchen with all the needed basic cooking appliances and a two – layer fridge. Adjacent to it was a dining area with a table that could seat four people. To the right were two rooms. The first was an undersized CR with a shower, sink and toilet. The second one was our bedroom with two double beds, 4 bureaus and cabinets to stow all our stuff, and a small balcony overlooking the city. Overall, our new home was quaint yet stylish that seemed to suit everyone’s tastes.

Soon, Mi Kyung – unni left us to unpack and settle in with final instructions of picking us up at 6am sharp tomorrow. When she left, we all decided on who bunks with and who occupied which bed. Finally, after a bit of arguing, (I realized that being with girls can lead to some degree of arguing. I never knew that before.) We settled on me and Haru – unni on the lower bunks, Feng Jiu – unni on Haru – unni’s top bunk and Somi – unni on mine. After that, we all put our knickknacks, doodads and other stuff into our cabinets. I plucked my cat plushies, posters and journals from my bag and once again I became the of jokes.

”Omo! (Oh my!) Y/N you love cats?” Haru – unni exclaimed.

“Ohhh. I never would’ve pegged you for a cat lover.” Somi – unni sniggered

“Maybe we should call you Y/N – cat now? Seriously, for someone so boyish to love such cute animals is so perplexing.” Feng Jiu – unni piped up.

“Yes. I love cats okay? They’re my number one weakness. And also the reason why I’m so boyish is because since I was little I’ve only had boys as friends. Plus, all my younger siblings are boys and my Mom always told me to be strong and independent in front of them. So, I kind of acted as a boy since then. But, I’m not a lesbian ok? I dress like a boy but I’m still a girl at heart, although I don’t show it much.” I admitted as I sat down to the floor.

The others seemed surprised by my sharing of such a personal thing about myself. Well, they started the teasing. I just gave an honest response.

“Oh, I see. That does make sense.” Somi – unni murmured.

“Still, it’s such a shame you dress so boyishly. You’re so pretty!” Haru – unni gushed.

“Yeah and I’m fluent in Korean.” I answered sarcastically.

“As much as I don’t want to admit it, as a possible precaution from bolstering your currently non-existent but possible ego, Haru’s right. You are pretty. Gorgeous even. You should flaunt it.” Feng Jiu – unni agreed.

Wow, they should definitely get their eyes checked.

Still, I decided to let the subject drop. There’s no use convincing them otherwise.

“Okay enough about me. What about you guys? Anything you wanna share about yourselves?” I asked hoping to distract them.

Unexpectedly it worked as one by one they shared bits about themselves. Somi – unni, I learned, used to be a radio announcer before deciding to pursue singing full time. She finished Communication in college and seeing as her outgoing, vibrant personality suited being a VJ, she tried making it her profession. And she was good at it but then her heart still yearned for making her own music and hearing it being played on the radio so she left being a VJ behind and pursued her true passion.

As for Haru – unni, she revealed that people always label her as “cute, adorable and angelic” that they don’t expect her to be so bad- good in rapping. We ourselves felt our jaws drop at that and refused to believe her until she offered to give us a sample. And boy was she bad – . Imagine a small, fluffy housecat turn into a ferocious tiger in an instant. That was how she was when she rapped. Unassuming and sweet one minute then fierce and passionate the next.

Finally, the most shocking truth we learned was about Feng Jiu – unni. “Holy” wasn’t the word I would use to describe her. But astonishingly, she almost became that. She was in the convent preparing to be a nun when she realized that place was actually posing as one and was instead a training ground for workers. Feeling appalled and violated, she fled the place and instead chose to “heal” by studying dance more, a passion she’d always had since a child but had to abandon because of a life crisis. She worked her off to pay for dance school and soon she graduated at the top of her class.

As proof of her astounding story, she did a few pirouettes then switched to some hip – hop moves, to which we gave a great applause.

Our chatting went well into the night, when Somi – unni glanced at the wall clock she installed into our room earlier. “Girls, it’s already 10pm. We leave at 6am tomorrow. We’d better sleep.”

We all murmured our assent and soon crawled into our beds. That night, as I lay waiting for sleep to consume me, I realized that having girls as friends can be fun and exciting even.

I’ve always thought girls to be overly – emotional, annoying and such big complainers. Maybe I just haven’t found the right type of female friends back then. But I do now. And these aren’t girls. These are women forged into toughness by persisting through troubles and pursuing their passion. I’ll strive to be like them. I’ll embrace who I am with no fear and with utmost pride. I will be a woman that I will be proud of.

With those last thoughts in mind, I eventually drifted off to sleep in high hopes for tomorrow all the other tomorrows that will come.