With my unnis’ chuckles in the background, I rose up to my knees, and wobbled to stand to try again. I managed to walk a few clunky steps before I fell, again this time in a reverse spread eagle formation, and my unnis exploded in a fit of laughter. Quickly I stood, glared at them (to which they promptly ignored and continued laughing) then at Shin seonsaengnim who was trying (and failing) to hold back a smile of her own.

Grumbling under my breath, I stood again.

Bakit ba kasi heels? May batas bang nagsasabing kailangan lahat ng babae marunong maglakad o magsayaw ng nakaheels? Kaasar naman oh! (Why heels? Is there a law that states all women should be able to walk or even dance in heels? This !)

Brushing imaginary dust from my knees, I tried again, this time I was able to walk about seven steps (a record – breaker) before my legs decided they wanted nothing to do with me and I landed even more ungracefully on my already very sore bottom.

I was on all fours. Wincing, I rubbed my behind to bring comfort but it seemed in vain as the pain only seemed to increase.

Ugh. I’m gonna be covered in bruises later.

Gingerly, once more I stood, fighting back tears of pain and humiliation. And it was definitely humiliating being the only woman there who couldn’t walk in heels. I mean what woman didn’t even know how?

A very strange one, apparently.

Steeling my nerves, I glanced to my unnis and saw that they were no longer laughing but instead looked very worried of my current state. Then I looked over to seonsaengnim and I saw that even her brow was pleated.

Finally, I confessed to them in shame. “Fine, I obviously I don’t know how to walk in heels. I’ve never worn them before.” I paused hesitating on what I was about to say next. “S – so I was wondering, can you guys teach me how? Please.” I requested as I stared at my unnis then at seonsaengnim.

My unnis threw each other conspiratorial looks then turned to seonsaengnim who nodded almost imperceptibly. Then beaming instantly, they went over to me. “Of course! It’s no problem.” Somi – unni reassured me as she slung her arm around me. “Yeah. You’ll really need it, Y/N. I’m sorry for laughing earlier, but you were really bad.” Haru – unni teased me.

“Yah unni!” I whined good – naturedly.

“Yeah you , which is why we’ll start from the basics. We’re not gonna end this day without you at least being able to walk in those, and maybe being comfortable enough to dance in those as well. Okay?” Feng Jiu – unni informed me.

Sighing, I consented. “Okay. Let’s get this over with.”

With a slightly imperious smile and a flip of her hair Feng Jiu – unni declared. “Okay! First off, is balance. That’s the secret to walking in heels. You’ve got to have balance from the top of your head until the tips of your toes. The way to achieve that is having the proper posture.”

Unni demonstrated to me and stood to her full height. I copied her and she murmured her approval. “Good. Next is to walk in small steps and don’t rush.” She showed me again and I mimicked her, albeit in a more wobbly way.

“Oops. You dropped your posture and you rushed your steps by the end. Stand up straight. Now, walk again.” She instructed me.

Gritting my teeth, I gave it another try and was able to execute it with less unsteadiness.

Feng – Jiu unni gave me a wink of approval and I sighed in relief.

Somi – unni took over and coached me next. “Now, visualize yourself walking in a straight line. Imagine an endpoint to your destination. This will help you walk more gracefully and naturally.” Smiling in encouragement, she showed me how by starting by the door and stopping by the mirror. Nodding in understanding, I imitated her, keeping in mind to imagine a straight line. Stopping by the mirror I gave Somi – unni a relieved smile and she gave a thumbs – up in response.

Chuckling, Haru – unni came up to me then. “Whaa maknae. You look less like a flailing duck now. Good job. Now the last and probably the most important part, putting your own spin to the walk.”

Positioning herself to my left, she continued. “Remember how all those models on fashion shows seem to have different walks? That’s because they put their own style in it. Walking in heels requires grace, balance and of course your own personal style. For instance my style is a cutesy, charming graceful walk.”

She showed me her walk and although it looked elegant, it certainly had a whimsical air to it.

“Now, your turn.” She urged me.

I thought for a bit. Hmm. I wonder what my style is. Well, I definitely don’t like wearing heels or dresses or skirts. Shorts are acceptable as long as they aren’t that short. Hoodies and jeans and sneakers are my staples. Oooh I think I know.

Releasing a taught breath, I pictured my normal self in heels. I imagined myself full of swagger and toughness and when I felt it slowly becoming reality, I started to walk. Yes, my walk had a hint of clunkiness amidst the grace, and I was probably swinging my arms a bit too hard and a bit too manly but I was confident in it. This was my style. This is me. And the world be damned but I’m sticking to it.

I’m boyish and that’s what I’ll always be, heels or no heels.

I finished my walk with an exaggerated bow to everyone else’s hilarity. We continued to practice walking for about 10 more rounds after that, with me falling on my about half the time (Hey! I’m no expert! It still takes getting used to, you know!) Then another ten rounds more, this time, while walking to the beat of the music playing. I panicked for a bit, stumbling to my bottom, though with lesser frequency than the first round.

Eventually, after seonsaengnim decided that my walk was “acceptable” (I don’t know what that meant) she bid us to move onto the next exercise.

“Now ladies, you’ll be dancing in heels.” Seonsaengnim emphasized and my growing confidence plummeted to the bottom.

I just learned how to walk in them, now she wants me to dance in them?!

Nahihibang na siya. Dedo na ako. (She’s crazy and I’m dead)

Seonsaengnim fiddled with the stereo beside her and out blasted Beyonce’s Single Ladies to my unnis’ utter delight and to my extreme horror.

Tangina. Hindi lang ako, dedo. Dedong – dedo na akooo! Si Beyonce pa talaga putek Reyna yun ‘eh! Ssaem naman eh! (Well, . I’m not just dead. I’m so dead. Beyonce’s the Queen! Ssaem!)

Strapping on her own pair of heels, Seonsaengnim smirked at us. “That’s right ladies. You’ll be dancing to Single Ladies by none other than the Queen Bey herself. I’ll be teaching you the choreo first then you’ll do it on your own.” Then looking at each of us she asked. “Ready?”

“Ready!” my unnis’ excitedly replied.

“Ready.” I weakly replied on my own.

I thought back to the time I saw the music video for Single Ladies and how amazed I was for Beyonce’s amazing ability to dance in heels. I thought back then that I would never dance in heels and now looking at myself, I just feel stupid for even saying that.

Wag kasing magsalita ng tapos. Yan tuloy Y/N. (Never say never because it may happen in the future. Now look at yourself Y/N.)

Hindi! Kaya mo yan, Y/N! Heels lang yan! Ilang puno na ng niyog ang naakyat mo! Chicken lang yan! (No! You can do it Y/N! It’s just a pair of heels! You’ve climbed a ton of of coconut trees! Dancing in heels is nothing compared to that!)

Eh mas madali pa atang umakyat sa puno ng niyog eh kaysa sumayaw ng nakaheels. (Climbing coconut trees is way easier than dancing in heels.)

Wag maging nega! Kaya yan! (Don’t be such a sourpuss! You can do it!)

I shook myself out of my raging thoughts.

I can do it. I just need to focus.

Yup. Focus Y/N! Fighting!

We spent the rest of our session learning the choreo and performing it on our own. I think I did pretty well. I mean I mastered it quick. But then there’s the fact that more often than not, I wasn’t in time with the music because I kept on wobbling in my stilts, which made my movements more robotic than fluid and snappy. Soon, when I felt like my limbs were jelly and every muscle in my body screamed in agony, our session ended and Seonsaengnim, with her hands on her hips, gave her final instructions.

“That’s it for today ladies. Great job, for most of you.” Then she shot me a warning glare and I gulped. “For others, practice more in those heels. By next session you’ll be dancing Single Ladies in heels again, but it has to be perfectly executed then. So, I want you all to be so comfortable in those heels that running in them would be a breeze. Araso?”

“Ne.” We chorused as we bowed to her and exited the room.

Shortly we arrived at the dorm and just like the previous day, I requested Mi Kyung – unni to drive me to the Bangtan dorm. Quickly, I entered our dorm and zipped to our room. I rummaged through my English teaching materials while my unnis changed in the room. Deciding to air my frustration, I grumbled to them. “What’s the purpose of heels anyway? I mean do all women need to know how to use them?”

Somi – unni threw me a surprised look as she changed her shirt. “Well they are designed for us so I guess that’s why everyone expects all women to know how to use them. Plus,” she said walking closer to me and wiggling her eyebrows in mischief. “They make us look a lot ier.”

I wrinkled my nose in disgust as Feng Jiu – unni chuckled at me and piped up. “True. Heels make our look better and our legs look longer.”

Haru – unni skipped over to us. “Heels are just the best!”

I scoffed. “Well they are not for me. They pinch my toes and make my legs ache. Also, I don’t want to look ier. Nor do I want to make my legs or look better. Ugh. I just hate heels.” I complained, covering my face with my hands.

Somi – unni sighed as she patted my shoulder. “I know. You’re uncomfortable. But as future idols, we always have to look good, even if that means sacrificing comfort for pain. It’s part of the package.” She gave me a sympathetic smile.

“That’s the sad truth, maknae. It’s what we signed up for. But, always remember that you wearing heels, doesn’t make you less of who you are. You’ll always be the Bad – Maknae we’ve all come to know and love. Araso?” Feng Jiu – unni reassured me with a reassuring wink as Haru – unni kissed my cheek in comfort.

I pondered upon what my unnis said for a bit. They were right. As uncomfortable as heels were, it’s still a part of the hard but fulfilling life of a female idol. I just have to make myself get used to wearing it.

I gave my unnis a small smile. “Ne unni. Arasoyo. Gomawoyo. (Yes unni. I understand. Thank you.) Really, thank you for all your help earlier. I’m sorry if I was such a bother to you all.” I apologized.

“It’s no bother. We’re glad we could help. That’s what unnis are for after all.” Haru – unni interjected with a sunny beam.

I smiled at my unnis in gratitude, arranging my teaching materials. Then grimacing in pain, I stood up to grab my towel and wash up when Somi – unni exclaimed in worry. “Wait you’re still going to the tutorial session? Even when you’re so obviously aching all over?”

I nodded weakly. “Ne. I wasn’t able to inform them in advance that I can’t go. Plus, it’s really rude if I just call them now that I can’t go. Kwaenchanayo, unni.” (It’s alright, unni.)

“Hwaksilhaeyo?” (Are you sure?) Feng Jiu – unni asked in concern.

“Ne unni. Positive.” I said with a smile as I went to freshen up. I changed into a comfy gray sweater, jeans and my trusty white sneakers, told my unnis there was dinner in the fridge, bid them goodbye and was soon off.

In a little while, I arrived at the boys’ dorm and I guess Tae informed the management that I’ll be a regular visitor since they didn’t seem surprised to see me there, as the receptionist just waved me over with a smile. Bowing (with a bit of difficulty since my body ached) in greeting, I went on my way. Moments later, I was ringing the bell. This time, casual footsteps echoed from the inside as the door swung open, revealing RM – oppa’s welcoming face.

“Annyeong Y/N!” He greeted me as he led me inside.

“Annyeong oppa.” I replied to him with a bow. Gingerly, I removed my shoes, careful not to show any pain.

No need to let them know what a loser I was today.

Cautiously, I walked towards the living room and saw the rest of the members, with the exception of Jin – oppa (who was probably cooking dinner), lounging on the couches and watching tv intently. Seeing my arrival, Tae jumped up, alerting the other members to my presence. “Y/N! Wasseoyo!” (You came!)

Grinning, I bowed slightly, feeling the pain creeping up my body. “Ne. Annyeonghaseyo.” I glanced to the other members who were waving at me, while Jungkook nodded as he walked over to me.

I glanced at RM – oppa and Jungkook and after bowing to the other members in farewell, we went to the study, passing by Jin – oppa in the kitchen whom I quickly bowed to. Once in the study, I wasted no time in tutoring Jungkook, who seemed eager to start at once. First, I checked his homework which showed quite positive results. He committed fewer mistakes compared to last time, a sign that he was steadily improving.

Afterwards, I gave him the booklets to be answered, murmured some instructions (mostly in Korean, with a little bit in English so RM – oppa translated for me. I was getting even better in my Korean, a fact that I was very happy about.), and asked him to answer.

While he was preoccupied, I chose to let my eyes wander about taking in the luxurious, spacious study filled with dark wooden, furniture, the hominess of the space making me quite comfortable at once, and soon my eyes began to droop.

 

Jungkook’s POV

Something is definitely weird with byeontae Noona today. I thought as I observed her entire demeanor as she was explaining the exercise to me. She arrived around near dinner time as usual, but there was something off about her. Looking at her now, she was smiling in her usual friendly way, but her eyebrows were slightly pinched and she was sweating.

She stretched her arm across the table to pass the booklets, and I saw her flinch as if in pain. I raised my eyebrows as I received them, but decided to shrug it off.

Maybe it’s just me.

Minutes later, I was finished and was about to hand her my work for checking when I stopped mid-action. She was slightly dozing, her arms crossed above her chest as if to shield herself for whatever may disturb her. I quickly glanced to RM – oppa seemingly asking what to do. He just gave me a gentle smile, then nodded at me as if urging me to wake her up gently. Nodding as well in response, I stretched my arm across the table then nudged her arm gently. “Noona. I’m done.” I crooned in English. “Noona. “

Groggily, she opened her eyes, looking a bit bewildered then she focused on me and abruptly jumped. “Ay jusko po! Mianhamida. Naneun jassdaneun geos-eul mollassda.” (Oh my god. I’m sorry. I didn’t know I slept.) She bowed in apology.

I held my hands up in protest. “Aniyo. Kwaenchanhayo. (No. It’s alright.) I don’t mind.”

She shot me a grateful gaze as she accepted my papers and I appraised her current appearance.

She definitely looks drained and tired. She may also be in pain. I recalled her wincing earlier.

Maybe she had a tough day today? Nevertheless, she should go home early. She doesn’t look too well.

Rousing myself from my inner thoughts, I glanced back at her just as she gave back the papers to me, a proud smile on her face. “Jaraesseoyo (Well done), Jungkook – ssi! A big improvement indeed.” She retrieved something from her bag beside her (I noted how delicately she did it.) and gave it to me.

“Now here’s your homework for next meeting. Haeng – unel bileoyo.” (Good luck)

Then she bit her lip and she seemed like she was hesitating about something. Finally she shook her head as if to toughen herself and looked at me. I looked back at her in curiosity.

“Jungkook – ssi is it ok if we don’t have our session for today? I don’t mind if you don’t teach me in return. I’d like to go home a bit earlier. Is it alright with you?” She asked me in straight Korean.

I was a bit taken aback by her fluency. She was getting better in Korean.

I answered back in English. “No. I don’t mind. We’re finished right? You can go home now if you want.”

Nodding and smiling in appreciation she stood up to leave. Then she bowed to Rap – hyung then to me. “Kamsahamnida Jungkook – ssi and RM – oppa. I’ll let myself out.”

She walked towards the door when she suddenly stumbled and fell.

“Aray! Ano ba naman oh. Pauwi na nga ako eh.” (Ouch. Oh man. I’m about to go home already.) She mumbled something I couldn’t understand, as Rap – hyung and I hurried to help her up.

It was definitely not English.

“Kwaenchanhayo?” Rap – hyung asked as he grabbed her right arm and I grabbed her left. We helped her up and she sighed in gratitude.

“Ne. Pigoneayo. Mianhamnida.“ (Yes. I’m just tired. I’m sorry.) She replied weakly.

“What happened today, anyway? You look more tired than usual.” Rap – hyung asked again.

Blowing hair out of her face she responded. “Seonsaengnim asked us to dance in heels today. I didn’t know how to walk in them, so I fell on my so many times, I lost count. Now, I ache all over. I apologize. This is so embarrassing.” She sheepishly said.

Chuckling a bit, Rap – hyung translated to me and I bit back a chuckle of my own.

What girl didn’t know how to walk in heels?

Her apparently.

“Why am I not surprised?” Rap – hyung and she looked even more embarrassed.

“Well, can you walk?”

“Yeah. I’m fine now. Thanks. Well I’ll be going now.” She said with another bow and wobbled out.

We followed her out just to be sure, as she bowed quickly to Jin – hyung who looked surprised to see her in such a weird wobbly – rush, then to the other members in the living room. We joined the other members on the couch and was about to settle in when we heard a loud thump near the doorway.

Alarmed, Rap – hyung and I rushed over in concern, alarming the other members as well. As we arrived we saw Noona on her bottom, wincing in pain, with her sneakers haphazardly done. I ran to her and helped her up again, as she recoiled in pain.

Rap – hyung went over to us, concern evident in his face as Noona looked at him guiltily.

“I’m sorry, Oppa. I’m being such a bother. Let me call my unni’s. I’ll ask them to fetch me.”

Rap – hyung shook his head. “No need to trouble them. We’ll drive you home.” He quickly translated to the other members about the situation and they nodded in worry. Then he went to fetch the car keys.

V – hyung spoke up. “It’s ok, Y/N. Momjosimhaseyo.” (Take care of yourself.) The members murmured well – wishes for her as well.

She bowed in respect. “Ne. Kamsahamnida.”

Rap – hyung came back then with the keys, and with some final instructions to the other members, him and me escorted Noona back home.

The entire car ride to Noona’s dorm was silent. She wasn’t being her usual friendly, conversational self.

Well, it’s understandable. Enduring all the pain and tiredness is tough. I’ve been there before.

Pretty soon, we arrived at their dorm and after escorting her to the door, bid her farewell. We drove back to our own dorm as well and was back in record time. Throwing glances at each other, we entered the dorm readying ourselves for whatever questions the other members might have. Sure enough, as soon as we appeared at the living room, they swarmed us both, questions in tow.

Hoseok – hyung spoke up first. “What exactly happened? Why did she look so weak?”

Jimin – hyung piped up next. “Is she going to be ok?”

“What’s wrong with her guys?” Jin – hyung interjected.

Rap – hyung held up a hand as if to tell them one at a time and they quieted down. Then he sighed. “Apparently they had to practice dancing in heels today. Unfortunately, Y/N didn’t know how to use heels.”

“Yeah. And that’s why she fell on her for most of the session. Her whole body’s probably aching right now and she’s feeling weak.” I inserted.

The hyungs pondered on this for a moment and slowly nodded their heads in understanding.

“Well, being the kind of woman she is, I’m not really surprised.” Suga – hyung surmised, a finger on his chin.

“But hyung really? Walking in his heels is supposed to be every woman’s specialty!” Jimin – hyung

“Jiminie – ah every woman is different, just like every man is different. You can’t just set the same standards for all women.” Hoseok – hyung reasoned out.

“That’s true. It isn’t really in Y/N’s personality to wear heels. I kinda feel sorry for her. At least for me, wearing those heels was a pleasant experience.” V – hyung sighed.

“Yeah. But still, kudos her for enduring the entire session. It must’ve been hard.” Jin – hyung commented in awe.

“Yup. Plus, she even went here even though she was obviously not up to it. She’s definitely committed.” Rap – hyung nodded in approval.

I thought over what my hyungs said about Noona and they did have a point. I truly did appreciate the extra effort she did for me. Plus, keeping all that pain inside and smiling through it all took guts.

Whaa. What am I to do with you Noona? You continue to intrigue and maybe even impress more.

“Yeah she is. She’s … cool.” I murmured and all 6 pairs of eyes swiveled to me in surprise.

“Waaa. That’s the first time I ever heard you compliment her, Kookie. Is she getting to you now?” Suga – hyung teased me, wiggling his brows.

I scoffed. “Not really. But I do give credit when credit is due. And she deserves it. I mean she did take the extra mile for me.”

Wiping an imaginary tear away, Jin – eomma again. “Waa. I feel like a proud eomma. She’s such a nice girl. I feel like all the food I made her did her well.”

Collectively we sighed.

Jin – hyung can be such a drama queen sometimes.

Deciding to change the subject, I piped up. “Well I don’t know about you guys but I am hungry. Let’s go eat!”

The members whooped their approval and we went to eat.

Moments later as we were finishing our dinner, V – hyung exclaimed and we looked to him in curiosity.

“I just got idea! I know how we can help Y/N!” He gushed.

So, huddling together, we listened to his “grand” plan.