Heart pounding, nerves frazzling and basically being a heap of a mess, I strode to the long queue of people outside a room in the Big Hit Entertainment building.

Today was the day. And I wasn’t feeling well. My nose was runny, my throat scratchy and my head was killing me.

Why did my body decide to get sick today of all days? I thought back to the past few days of mountains of English papers to check and grade.

Damn. This is what I get for staying up on all hours. Nice going, Y/N. Ang galing mo (You’re awesome. *sarcasm*) I fell in line and observed my surroundings. It really was an impressive building!

I turned to my right to find a spacious lobby filled with comfortable couches for people to sit in and a coffee table with magazines underneath at the center. Beyond the couches lay tall, glass windows, showing a cloudless sky with puffs of snowflakes drifting down.

Swiveling to my left, I saw many corridors twisting and intertwining, leading probably to practice rooms and recording studios to where the idols spent most of their time. Well, one idol group in particular. I sighed, getting lost in my thoughts.

BTS. A once unknown group who has now skyrocketed to stardom and international acclaim gaining fans left and right. I chuckled. Including me, I guess. I mean they inspired me to join this audition and all.

Getting even more lost in my thoughts, I finally faced forward and settled down, reminiscing the events of three months ago.

- - Flashback - -

“Sigurado ka na ba talaga anak? Pwede ka na man magtrabaho sa Maynila eh,” (Are you sure, my dear? You can always work in Manila.) My Mom worriedly asked me, as I checked the rest of my luggage, making sure that everything was there.

I sighed and glanced at her. I understood her distress. Today was my flight for Korea, the very first time I'll ever travel abroad and be away from my family. I’ve always wanted to go there. So being fresh out of college, I steeled my guts and looked for a job application online. Luckily, there was a vacancy for an English teaching position so I immediately grabbed the once in a lifetime opportunity and accepted the it.

After seeing that my luggage was all set, I stood up, grasped my Mom’s hands gently and said, “Siguradong – sigurado na po Ma. Wag po kayong mag-aalala. Kayang – kaya ko po ang sarili ko. Tsaka malaki – laki rin ang sahod kay sigurado pong makakatulong ako sa pag-aaral nina Jun – Jun. (I’m sure, Ma. Please, don’t worry. I can take care of myself. Plus the wages are quite high so I can definitely help in paying for Jun – Jun and the others’ tuition.)

I smiled at her as tears started falling down her face. Then, I crouched down to the little person directly at her right, who also had tears in his eyes. Ahh my ever crybaby little brother, Jun – Jun.

“Jun – Jun, aalis na si Ate. Ikaw na bahala kina Mama at sa iba pa nating kapatid, ok? Magpakabait ka h-aa? Mag – aral ka nang m-mabuti, I glanced at four other younger brothers,

“M-m-mag-aral kayong lahat ng m-m-mabuti , ok?” (Jun – Jun, I’ll be going now. Take care of Mom and of our other brothers, okay? S-s-study hard. A-a-all of you s-s-study hard.) Immediately, I hugged Jun – Jun hard and proceeded to do the same with my other brothers, barely holding my tears.

Afterwards, I went back to my Mom who was by now full – on silently crying and I ,who could no longer keep the tears at bay, hugged her tight. “By Ma. I love you.” I took my luggage, waved goodbye one last time and left.

It was probably everyone’s understanding back home that I was living the life, the K-drama life in Korea, but I wasn’t. The first month was hell. Indescribable hell. truthfully, if I were to list down the list of horrible things that happened to me, it would probably go like this. Just on my arrival in Korea, my baggage got mixed up so I had to wait for it.

Right after that, I got lost on my way to the apartment complex I was planning on renting because I couldn’t converse with the driver in Korean and I couldn’t give him proper directions.

Then flash forward on my first day of work, I was late because my alarm didn’t go off and I missed my train because I couldn’t read Hangul. So I ended up having to deal with a very furious and disappointed principal upon finally arriving, who scolded me in a mix of English and Korean.

And just when I thought things couldn't get worse on such a disastrous first day, I received an overwhelming amount of hate, hostility and discrimination from my co-teachers who were whispering things among themselves and throwing withering glances at me. I couldn't understand them of course but just by their body language, I could tell they hated me.

The tense situation dragged on and I legit thought I was going to be vaporized with hate on the spot when suddenly a bubbly angel strode into the faculty lounge. I gaped at her audacious and oblivious display of cheerfulness in such a heavy atmosphere. She greeted our co-teachers, took my look at me, grabbed my hand and dragged me to the cafeteria.

There she talked to me, comforted me and from then on became my best and (only) friend, my savior. Min Young, the bubbly, nice new Art teacher who had no mean bone in her body and who spoke good English.

One day, a week after that incident, during one of our break times when we usual hang out, she told me about the mean things she overheard the other teachers were saying about me. By then I was used to their hostility, but still, realizing that they thought I wasn’t qualified to teach English since I wasn’t white and was pabo for not being able to speak and understand Korean hurt.

Well excuse me for not being born mixed – raced Filipino and being white enough for you.

Sigh. Yes, the first month was tough. Adjusting to a new culture and new surroundings wasn’t easy and certainly was learning a new language! Plus, I missed my family constantly. I’ve never been without them.

But because of Min Young’s constant support, encouragement and of course her patience in tutoring me in Hanguk, day by day, I was eventually able to grasp the basics of the language and be conversational in it.

I still wasn’t that proficient but hey at least I was able to understand if someone was asking me about what date today was or something.

Slowly but surely, in a span of two months since my arrival in school, my co-workers at last became easier on me as well as they’ve noticed I do have the skills based on my students’ constant appraisal of me and of course from the principal’s classroom evaluation of me.

Everything was slowly, finally going well until one evening, everything started spinning on its axis.

I was particularly stressed after work after checking a big heap of English exams the whole day. I was about to leave and was planning on settling in for the night, so I grabbed my bag when suddenly Min Young (who was apparently waiting for me to finish) grabbed my elbow and excitedly said “Y/N gaja!” (Let’s go!) I looked at her with a confused, tired look, “Eodilo gaya?”(Go where?)

She put her finger to her lips and with a smirk said “Bemeelee aeyo!” (It’s a secret!) I looked at her exasperated. “But I’m tiiired.”

She pouted. “But it’s a surprise! I promise you’ll love it!” Then she gave me that puppy dog look and I finally caved in. I blew a breath. “Geulae. Niga igyeoseo. Gaja.” (Fine! You win. Let’s go.”)

“Yay! Thank you!” Min Young made a happy dance, grabbed my hand and we ran off. We took the train and the whole ride she was chattering excitedly about something or the other, while I politely listened and nodded to her, my thoughts nibbling the back of my mind about her "surprise" .

I totally wasn’t expecting anything grand so imagine my surprise when we arrived at a big concert hall where thousands of people were lined up and were carrying flashing bulbs on sticks and tarps that read BTS on front.

Holy crap. We were at a BTS concert?!

I looked at Min Young in shock who seemed oblivious to my obvious discomfort and was jumping up and down in glee.“Youngieee! I told you I hate K-Pop!”

She looked at me like she heard it a million times already (and she had.) “Yes, I know. But BTS is different I tell. Once you Jimin, you can’t Jimout!” she cackled evilly.

“B-b-but...” I attemped to resist. “No buts!" she insisted. "The tickets are hella expensive so you’re coming with me! Arasso?” (Understood?) “Ne.” (Yes.), I admitted in defeat. “Alright! Let’s go inside!” she exclaimed and pulled me along into the line.

Pretty soon, the line moved and everyone, including ourselves, were settled in our seats. We were close to the stage. Like really close that we can see BTS’s feet! Dang it Youngie!

I was getting antsy. I hated K-Pop. I couldn't get into their flashy outfits and bright make - up. And BTS was one of the most famous K-Pop groups in recent times. I should scram. I thought. But then I glanced to Min Young to my right, her whole body buzzing with my excitement and felt guilty. She bought me a ticket. She obviously wanted to watch this concert with me. What kind of a friend am I if I couldn't it up for a friend who has stood by my side all this time?

" it up Y/N!" I told my self and settled down.

Soon the music started to play, signaling the start of the concert and one by one the members came up from automated holes in the stage while the fangirls yelled their lungs out.

Youngie looked at me. “Okay. Listen closely and pay attention. The leftmost is Jin, “Worldwide Handsome”, the eldest, to his right with red hair is J-Hope, lead dancer, next to him with white hair is Suga, lead rapper, then Jimin the hottest and my bias, and then there’s Jungkook the maknae or the youngest who’s good in everything, then V the most beautiful, then RM the leader, rapper and best in English. You got all that? Now let’s focus and watch them!”

She finished all in one breath, turning back to the stage leaving me dumbstruck and confused. Well hell. Might as well watch it. I sighed and focused to the stage.

The boys were facing the audience and in position then an upbeat music started playing. Youngie turned to me “This song is called Dope. I love this song!”

Then she went back to screaming. Rapmon started saying something. Then Jungcook (?) The youngest,(?) started singing and whoa his voice was amazing! And then pretty much all the members sang their parts.

I hate to admit it but I was bopping my head to the boys and the music. I couldn't help it. Their music was just soo good!

And the boys were amazing performers as well! I understood most of the lyrics, about them being dope and being hardworking while most of us was just clubbing and I couldn’t help laughing out loud.

They finished their performance and transitioned to another one of their songs which Min Young told me was Blood, Sweat and Tears and this time the choreography was more sensual and ier.

Whoa.

After that came Mic Drop. Slowly, with each song they perform I become more engrossed in them and the concert.

Crap. So this is what Min Young’s into. This is K-Pop. It’s music I haven’t heard like any before. It’s good.

And I’m slowly getting into it. Well dang it. I’ll just dance and sing with it! And that’s what I did.

I probably flubbed the Korean lyrics and danced like a crazy person. But I didn't care. For a long time, since leaving the Philippines, I was at last, having fun.

Eventually, the last notes to the final song Spring Day faded and the boys bowed, waved good bye and exited the stage. Consequently, everyone in the audience filed out and by then I was as winded, hoarse-voiced and sweaty as Min Young. We strode out of the concert hall, sat on one of the nearby benches and she looked at me with a raised eyebrow.

“Eotteohaess-eo?” (How was it?) I looked at her exhilarated. “Jjeonda! (Awesome!) Unlike anything I’ve ever seen before!” Then I admitted sheepishly. “I think I may be addicted to them already.”

She laughed. “Wa! Jotne! (Wow! That’s good!) Now I won’t be alone in fangirling about them! I giggled. “Come on. Let’s go home.”

- - end of flashback - - -

Since that momentous event, I’ve reinvigorated my love for music and dance.

My Ma has always told me that I could dance like hell and sing like nobody’s business, so I always joined singing contests and dance competitions in school but as I grew older, my education and supporting my family became my sole focus.

As a result, my passion took a back seat. But after unexpectedly seeing BTS’s concert and seeing how music can transform people and even convert non K-Pop fans like me, it’s like my whole body was on fire. Like I was a different person.

More carefree. More motivated. More passionate. More inspired.

It began with the little things. I started singing again in the shower and while doing my chores. I'd do a happy dance when something good happens. I even started writing some songs.

As the little things became more frequent and as music became even more present in my life, I realized one thing:

I wanted to perform again.

I missed the rush of performing before a huge crowd and hear their cries of joy, excitement and exhilaration. Of seeing them being engrossed and involved in my performance. Of hearing their hoots and claps of appreciation and praise and being humbled by it.

I wanted it so badly. And one day, my wishes were answered.

It was a Saturday morning. I was lounging at home and browsing my Facebook when I saw an ad of Big Hit, BTS’s company suddenly announcing that they were holding auditions for a new girl group they were forming.

My eyes were practically falling from their sockets as I skimmed through the ad. I went over their age requirement and saw it was until 25 years of age.

I was still 21! I can still audition!

Immediately, I opened up my Skype and called Min Young who was also at home, who answered after two rings. I at once bombarded her with the news, and asked her if I should audition. Of course, she was taken aback by my rushed explanation. But then she took a deep breath, gave me the biggest smile, two thumbs up and said “Gaja!” (Go!)

That exchange was three days prior where, I spent much of my time choosing my audition songs and practicing during my free time. But then I still had to work. And so practicing coupled with teaching and checking mounds of English papers took its toll on my body.

Today was audition day, and here I am with butterflies in my stomach, feeling like I could throw up any moment with a runny nose and an over-all sick feeling.

I haven’t performed for anyone in sooo long.

And I'm sick.

Can I even do it? No no. Think positively Y/N. YOU CAN DO THIS! , I convinced myself. But then I sneezed and I felt even more miserable.

My sneeze attracted the person in front of me and she turned around to smile. Wow she was so pretty! With pearly white skin, light brown hair in waves and fringe in fleek.

She already looked like an idol!

“Gwaenchanh-a yo?” (Are you ok?) She asked me. I nodded. “Ne. Jeohante jilmunhaneun gomabseubnida.” (Yes. Thank you for asking me.)

She talked to me again. “Oneul-eun chubda? Odisyeon-e anjoh-eun nal-iya.”(It’s cold today isn’t it? It’s a bad day for auditions.)

I looked to her in shock and humiliation. I couldn’t understand the second thing she said!

“Ne. Chubda.” (Yes. It’s cold.)

Then I bowed deeply. “I’m sorry. Naneun hangug-e yuchanghaji anhda.” (I’m not fluent in Korean.) I couldn’t understand the second thing you said.

I rose up again and she looked at me with warmth in her eyes. “It’s okay. I can understand English. We can talk in English.” She said in the barest of accents.

Wow! I looked at her surprised. “Wow! You speak English well! How did you learn it?” “Well I grew up in the US for most of my teens until adulthood since my Dad was transferred there for work. We only came back to Korea recently after my Dad retired.”

She stretched out her hand. “I’m Kim Somi. 24 years old. And you are? I shook her hand and bowed. “Hello. Kim Somi – ssi. I’m Y/N. 21 years old. Nice to meet you!”

She smiled again. “You can call me Somi – Unni. So what brings you here to auditions?” I sighed. “I just wanted to try my luck. I’ve always had a passion for music and dance and I was hoping to make a career out of it. How about you?”

She smiled ruefully. “I was a café singer in the US and was about to get signed into a label but unfortunately negotiations fell off. So after Dad retired and we went back here I was planning on getting a job singing. But then I found out about this audition and so I grabbed the opportunity and now here I am.”

She had this mischievous smile on her face. “So are you nervous?” I gulped.

“Honestly? I am. I haven’t performed in a long time.”

She lightly touched my shoulder. “Don’t be. Just trust in yourself and knock their socks off. Fighting!” I smiled at her. “Fighting!.”

We were so engrossed in chatting that we hadn’t noticed the line had been steadily moving and now it was her turn. She turned to me one last time and said. “Do your best! You can do it!” and she went inside.

“Fighting!” I called out to her.

A few moments later, it was my turn and with a deep breath I went inside into the room that held either the countless possibilities for me or the door that closed all opportunities to my music career.