Long strands brushing the edge of the veranda, a slight ripple to them as an autumn breeze blew up from the valley town. Ken stood in the gate, bags heavy in his tired arms. Something about being home seemed to have the last of his energy away. He was left exhausted. With slow legs he made it to the steps and onto the welcoming wood of the veranda.

The house was dark and quiet, not even his soft footsteps disturbed it. Ken collapsed onto the bed and let his eyes close.

A small part of him already missed Ravi, but it was buried beneath the relief he felt at being home once more. The city was great; fun and full of things to do. But Ken still craved the peace of the forest and mountains. The crisp hint of winter that was already biting in the air up here. The shifting shade of the forest as the leaves began to change. It was home.

As he began to drift off, thoughts of his studio filtered in. In the sliver of a moment between awake and asleep his mind came alive with remembered colour. A wash of red, green and deep indigo rolling over him before he slipped into sleep.

It had been hours. Hours of standing in the fading light and staring. He knew he should move on, begin again, but he was still simply standing. It hadn’t taken too long to find the canvas. Hyuk had hidden it among a pile of finished work but Ravi had sniffed it out easily. It was almost as though he had been drawn straight to it among the rest of the work.

Now it was leaning against the wall, daylight had come and gone in the window behind him as he watched it. He wasn’t sure what he was looking for. Perhaps he was just trying to become comfortable with it again. Perhaps he thought if he stared long enough she would reemerge from the painting, alive and well. Perhaps it was the last piece of the mosaic his heart had become. And still he continued staring.

The sky was immaculate. He could remember the way she would transform empty white into an achingly realistic skyline, it seemed like magic to him even now. Then there were the soft tones of the shifting ocean beneath. Peaks of white along some of the waves and an almost murky blue in places. That was what the cerulean was to accentuate.

They hadn’t spoken about it but he knew that was what it was for. She would want to bring those deep, unsettling blues into sharper focus with a serene blue beside them.

As his eyes came back to the sky, leaving the haunting ocean for the time being, Ravi felt a small ripple of oddity come over him. He stepped closer, his knees cracking and groaning at the sudden movement. Now, in the half-light, he could almost see it clearer; what he had thought was clouds, the shift of light through them, there was something else hiding there. A face. Surely it was just a trick of the light? The longer he looked the more it came to him. Then, with a shock, he realised the clouds were filled with faces. Sorrow-filled and gaze trained on the ocean beneath, they watched, almost seeming to wait.

A burst of laughter rippled from his stomach. Even dead she was teaching him lessons, showing him up almost a year after she had gone. The laughter grew until Ravi shook his head and went to turn the lighting on. He couldn’t simply watch any longer, it was his turn. Still chuckling quietly, he pulled an old canvas down from the drying rack and set it on his easel.

Hi

While he waited the sullen call of his liquor cabinet thrummed through his brain. He refused to give in. Leo had given him his number on Wine Wednesday and Hakyeon had scoffed. Now, it felt a little like a lifeline.

Hi. How are you?

A gush of air escaped as the relief hit him. N turned his back on the lounge and retreated to his bedroom instead.

I’m fine.
You?

He could barely admit to himself the amount he needed to talk to someone, let alone Leo himself. The man already knew far too much about him.

I’m good. At work, but I’m taking a break.

OK.

Another knot of anxiety tangled up in his stomach. He couldn’t even seem to make proper conversation lately.

What are you doing today?

Relief rushed over him again, the twitching rhythm in his heart settling a little more.

Nothing.
Texting you.
Being bored.
You?

Hakyeon let the messages go in quick succession, matching them to the machinegun pace of his heart.

Oh. Why are you bored? I’m putting the finishing touches on a portrait today. I have a meeting tomorrow with the client.

Well, aren’t you just Mr Productive.
I’m bored because I’m on holidays
I forgot how much I don’t have to do when all of my friends are busy

Oh, that makes sense. Did you want to get a coffee? I’m finished here for a while.

He rolled over on the mattress, staring at the message with a strange delight. The anxiety was finally dying out, replaced by something else.

Did you just ask me on a date?
Me? Really?
Jung Taekwoon wants to date me?

I was asking you as a friend but now you’ve made it weird. Also can’t you just send one message instead of 6 in succession?

Hakyeon couldn’t stop the small curve of his lips as he teased at Leo. Anything to disrupt the perfect serenity that seemed to come so naturally to him.

No.
I
Can’t
Is it really weird?
I’m not saying I want to date you but I do want coffee.

…

The ellipses disappeared once more. Reappearing. Disappearing. Finally a message clicked in.

Sure, where did you want to meet?

Do you know Caffeination?
On West St?
Also, what were you typing?

I know it, it’ll take me about half an hour to be there.

Fine.
What were you typing?

Great. See you there in half an hour.

What were you typing?!
Jung Taekwoon!
Typing!?
I saw it!

…

The dreaded ellipses, Hakyeon held his breath.

You’re so childish.

He pressed his lips together to crush the smile, hold it closer to his chest for a bare moment before he began typing a reply.

Yeah.
But what were you typing before?

Literally that. I’ll see you in half an hour.

A giggle bubbled its way out of N’s mouth before he tossed the phone away and rolled onto his back.

The wind cut through his light sweater easily, sweeping through the tall buildings and chilling him in the shade. Leo bent into it, letting it ruffle his hair slightly. There was a freshness, a change of season that rode along with the wind. He felt a shiver of expectation beneath the cold.

Inside the cafe was warmer, fizzing with conversation and the screech of a coffee machine. The walls covered in white tile with dramatic black grouting, stark tables and uncomfortable looking industrial-style chairs populating the space. Many of which were already filled with business men and women chatting, hip looking uni students, one or two hi-vis clad construction workers were on their way out the door. N was nowhere in sight.

He tapped out a quick text and found a place in the haphazard line for service. Before he could make it to the tattooed server, N had appeared by his elbow, looking considerably brighter than usual. His blue jeans showing sli