sixteen.

It was one week since Seulgi had been discharged from hospital, which meant it was one week of being flooded by work and also meant one whole week of not seeing the one person who was constantly on her mind. She had to work day and night, lose sleep and skip meals in order to catch up on what she missed and today was the first day where she could be somewhat laidback but she should’ve known tranquillity never lasted long.

She was two sips into her morning coffee when Amber showed up at her office, earlier than their scheduled time, filled with eagerness to tell her everything she had found out.

Seulgi sighed inwardly, bracing herself for the news as Amber reached her desk and slammed her hands on the surface.

“You are not going to believe this.” She said breathlessly from running here and Seulgi just raised a questioning brow while reaching forward to readjust her name plaque that had shifted from its position.

“Actually, you will. Because your guess was right.” Amber said, falling onto the chair and breathing normally again. “I checked Krystal’s medication records and she’s been on a stable course of medication to keep her emotions under control. Until recently, three weeks to be exact, her medication was replaced with inactive pills which I know because I took samples from her to check. And after more digging, I find out that the person who requested for this is Krystal’s father himself.”

“Just as I thought.” Seulgi muttered. “I knew something was off about Krystal, but I didn’t think it would be Sangmin who…” She gave up on her sentence, sighing in exasperation.

“But why?” Amber asked. “Why would he do that to his own daughter? Cutting off her medication like that is dangerous. Without the correct medication, she becomes unstable and, well, kind of crazy.”

“Maybe that’s exactly what he wanted.” Seulgi said, looking spaced out as she went into deep thought.

“Why would he want that?” Amber continued questioning. “It’s not like he would want Krystal to hurt you. Or Joohyun.”

Seulgi said nothing because that was exactly what she was thinking. She would have to be either blind or completely brainless to not be able to sense the tension between her and her boss. Sangmin wasn’t dumb, in fact he was far from it, and he was clearly starting to see Seulgi as a threat. Their recent interactions and exchanges were only filled with tension, pointed words and hidden malice. It was obvious Sangmin wouldn’t mind getting rid of Seulgi altogether, but she had considerable influence and status over the company, so he couldn’t just fire her for no reason. There were many other ways he could get rid of her if he really wanted to and Seulgi shook those thoughts out of her head, telling herself that she was only overthinking.

At most, Sangmin would only see her as a threat to his position. There was no way he would know about her real identity or her mission. Considering how cautious she had been to cover her tracks and taken extra measures to protect her privacy, it was close to impossible for anyone to discover her secret.

“Are you okay?” Amber waved her hand in front of her face to regain her attention. “Did I guess right?”

“What? No, don’t be stupid.” Seulgi lied. “Why would he do that?”

“Yeah, I thought not.” Amber agreed, nodding. “But you made me think someone was really out to get you.” She joked and Seulgi could only manage a weak smile.

“You also asked me to find you a place that sold magnolias right? There’s a floral shop nearby that does. I’ll send you the website now, it has the address.” Amber pulled out her phone, tapping it a few times and forwarding the text to her.

A knowing smirk formed on Amber’s face when she saw Seulgi’s small smile and the way her eyes became evidently brighter while she looked at the flowers.

“Thank you.” Seulgi murmured, too distracted by her phone to notice as she browsed on the website. “It’s perfect.”

“Who are they for? Is it for Miss Bae?” She teased. “Are you going on a date?”

Seulgi hesitated, looking up from her phone momentarily and then diverting her attention back to her phone. “You don’t need to know.” She replied but it was still obvious because after all, who else could make Seulgi smile like that?

Because of how busy she had been, she was unable to see Joohyun again since the last time they were together in the hospital. Seulgi had been counting the days until she could see her again and finally tell her the words that had been on her mind for the past week.

…

She silently cursed the traffic for being the reason she was late to arrive in front of Joohyun’s work place and could only hope that Joohyun hadn’t left yet. Maybe she should have called her before coming, but she wanted it to be a surprise visit.

She checked her watch again before glancing at the main entrance of the building in hopes that Joohyun would walk out now. She was planning to give her the flowers and ask her out for dinner as a way of thanking her for taking care of her at the hospital. Seulgi had also promised she would give her answer to Joohyun’s question the next time they met, and tonight, she was going to tell her the truth about her feelings. No more hiding, no more lying. 

Seulgi brought the bouquet closer to smell the fresh fragrance of the flowers, smiling to herself at the thought of giving the flowers to Joohyun, at the thought of seeing her smile, hearing her voice, and just at the thought of everything about her.

But whatever good mood she was having, immediately disappeared the moment she finally saw Joohyun because she had forgotten about a problem that took the form of a man called Park Bogum. Seulgi briefly wondered why he seemed to always be around Joohyun and to say she didn’t feel even the slightest bit of jealousy or even disliking towards him would be a lie.

The couple walked out together, side by side, with Bogum carrying her belongings for her like the gentleman he was and Seulgi felt her heart sink when she noticed the beautifully wrapped bouquet of roses Joohyun was cradling carefully in her arms. She decided that it would be a good idea to run away but Seulgi made a mistake of hesitating and staring for a while longer, which was enough time for Bogum to notice her.

His change in expression made Joohyun turn around, making eye contact with Seulgi almost immediately and Seulgi momentarily forgot about feeling hurt when she saw how Joohyun’s expression brightened at the sight of her. It was also surprising to see Bogum give her a polite smile and nod before he turned to Joohyun and offered to get the car first while she stayed to talk to Seulgi. Joohyun started walking towards her, and Seulgi with heavy feet and a forced smile, met her halfway.

“It’s so good to see you out of hospital finally. Have you been well?” Joohyun asked.

“I’ve just been busy but everything is fine.” She replied, unable to shake off the awkward feeling between them. She forced her eyes away from the obnoxiously bright, almost taunting, red of the flowers. “You’re going somewhere?” She tilted her head towards the direction of the carpark to indicate that she was referring to Bogum as well.

“Yes.” Joohyun’s voice became quieter and she shifted her feet, suddenly unable to meet Seulgi’s gaze. “It’s our anniversary, so we’re going out for dinner.”

Seulgi nodded, the fake smile returning once again because she wanted to look like she was happy for them.

“And you?” Joohyun asked and Seulgi didn’t realise what she was asking until she noticed Joohyun glance at the magnolias that Seulgi was unknowingly holding behind her back.

Another look at the red roses sent another stab through her chest and she quickly took the flowers out from behind her back so that it didn’t seem suspicious that she was hiding it. She shrugged nonchalantly, her jealousy and competitiveness taking over her. “I was just on my way to visit a friend and I was passing by here, so I thought I’ll just say hello.” She said, feeling a sense of satisfaction when there was a flicker of disappointment on Joohyun’s face.

“I see.” Joohyun murmured.

Seulgi bit the inside of her cheek nervously, knowing her lie wasn’t very convincing but even if Joohyun really knew it was a lie, she wasn’t saying anything to challenge her. The two of them stood in silence, both waiting for the other to say something.

“Actually-” Both of them spoke up at the same time and then quickly stopped, trying to let the other speak. After a while of insisting, Seulgi finally got Joohyun to talk first. 

“It’s my birthday next week and Seungwan and the others are throwing me a party. It’s just going to be a small party at Seungwan’s place with a few friends.” She explained, fiddling with the petals on the roses and based on her nervous actions, Seulgi could guess what was coming next.

In her head, Joohyun had planned to say something along the lines of: ‘it would be nice if you could be there’ or even ‘if you want to come, you can’, if she wanted to sound more passive. But something about standing in front of Seulgi inhibited her ability to recall her scripted lines and instead, she blurted, “I want you to be there.”

Her face grew hot after seeing Seulgi’s surprised expression to her bold statement. “I mean, I would be really happy if you could make it. If you’re not busy. If you want to, of course.” She clarified hastily, ducking her head down so that she wouldn’t see how red her face had become.

“I would love to come but…” Seulgi paused and Joohyun looked at her again, eyes filled with question and disappointment at the same time. “I’m not sure if that’s a good idea. Seungwan, Sooyoung and Yeri wouldn’t want to see me there.” She said.

“I told Seungwan already and she said it was fine.” Joohyun reassured quickly, somewhat relieved that this was the only reason holding Seulgi back. “You don’t have to worry about them, they’ll respect my decision and they won’t give you a hard time, I promise.” She persuaded when Seulgi still looked reluctant.

“Alright.” Seulgi agreed, though she was still a bit unsure. Her uncertainty disappeared in an instant when she saw Joohyun’s smile and Seulgi almost missed the details of the party because she was too distracted by what she considered the most beautiful sight she had ever seen.

“Promise me you’ll be there?” Joohyun asked and Seulgi nodded, this time a lot more confidently.

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

Joohyun blushed, smiling widely at her sincere promise and she was going to continue standing there smiling like a fool but she suddenly remembered Seulgi had something to say to her too.

“What did you want to say earlier?” She asked.

Seulgi had completely forgotten the whole purpose of her coming here until Joohyun reminded her. “I just wanted to answer-” She was interrupted when a car stopped on the street next to them and Bogum called out Joohyun’s name from the drivers seat.

“Are you ready to go?” He asked when he had her attention.

Joohyun looked hesitant and she glanced at Seulgi unsurely since their conversation wasn’t finished yet.

“I’ll just tell you next week. You should go, don’t keep him waiting.” Seulgi said, urging her to go to the car. “Have fun on your date.” She added through a strained smile.

Joohyun tried to conceal her reluctance to leave and she took a few steps towards the car but not without looking back at Seulgi a few times. Seulgi kept the smile on her face, waving to her as cheerfully as possible. It was hard to act like she didn’t care or that she wasn’t disappointed she couldn’t tell Joohyun her answer today after she had looked forward to it for the entire day.

The smile disappeared from her face as soon as the car drove off and she sighed, looking down at the magnolias disappointedly.

“I hope you’re hungry because the restaurant we’re going to is really famous. I almost couldn’t get a reservation because of how many people want to eat there.” Bogum chuckled, steering the car onto the main road.

Joohyun could barely hear him talking because she was too busy looking out the window. She hummed, nodding mindlessly to give him some kind of response and through the car’s side mirror, she watched Seulgi start heading in the opposite direction and throw the flowers into a bin as she walked past.

…

“Are you sure she’s coming?”

“Joohyun said she was but maybe she forgot about it.”

“I wouldn’t even be surprised if she just decided not to come. She’s not the most trustworthy anyway. After all, she-”

Seungwan nudged Sooyoung’s elbow, almost making the taller girl spill the drink in her hand but at least it stopped her from talking further because Joohyun had appeared in the doorway of the kitchen.

“Oh, Joohyun-” Sooyoung stammered nervously, seeing Joohyun’s darkened expression as she walked in and put the empty tray on the countertop with a heavy exhale.

“She will come.” Joohyun said firmly although doubt and disappointment was written all over her face. Seungwan and Sooyoung exchanged glances, both of them thinking the same thing but neither of them spoke because they didn’t want to crush their friend’s hopes.

The party started almost two hours ago and there were no signs of Seulgi showing up, nor were there any texts or calls from her to explain her absence. Needless to say, Joohyun’s mood had been low for the entire night after realising Seulgi might not be keeping her promise.

“I’m going to go and help Yeri with refilling the drinks!” Sooyoung made an excuse and rushed out of the kitchen, leaving Seungwan to console the birthday girl.

Seungwan wrapped her arm around Joohyun, giving her a light squeeze. “Hey, cheer up. Today is meant to be a happy day for you.” She gave her a bright smile in efforts to make her smile too but Joohyun only sighed, looking at her phone again even though she had checked it just seconds ago.

“Have you tried calling her?” Seungwan asked.

“Of course, but no reply.” Joohyun said hopelessly. “What if something happened to her?”

“Don’t panic, I’m sure she’s just too busy to pick up or her phone ran out of battery.” Seungwan reasoned, stopping her from thinking up wild possibilities.

“She promised she would come.” She mumbled quietly and Seungwan had to lean closer to catch what she was saying. “She hasn’t even given me her answer yet.”

Seungwan was about to say something but Joohyun continued, her tone was flat but she was clearly hurt. “Or maybe this is her answer.” She said before walking away and Seungwan had never felt more useless. Her best friend was so upset on her birthday and she couldn’t do anything to cheer her up. Only one person could do that and said person was currently nowhere to be found.

Joohyun tried her best to put on a cheerful attitude in front of her friends but she couldn’t stop herself from glancing towards the direction of the front door every two minutes in hopes that someone would show up. Eventually she just opted to sit alone in a corner of the room and sulk by herself.

“Water?”

At the sound of a familiar voice, Joohyun quickly turned her head away from the door and looked up at Bogum, saying a quiet ‘thanks’ as she took the water bottle offered to her and he sat down on the chair next to hers.

“So, why is the birthday girl sitting here alone?” He asked.  

“Just taking a break.” She replied, attempting to open the water bottle. Bogum chuckled when he saw her struggling and took the bottle from her without a word, opening it with ease and handing it back. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.” He smiled. Joohyun caught him staring at her while she was drinking and she tilted her head questioningly, knowing he had something to say. “You look really beautiful tonight.” He said, never being one to hold back on compliments.

“Thank you.” She blushed slightly when she saw how genuine he was in saying that. “I hope you enjoyed the party tonight.” She said something else quickly to move on.

“Of course. It’s been a great night.” He said. “But it’ll be perfect if it could end on a good note.”

“What do you mean?” Joohyun looked at him questioningly, not understanding what he was referring to or hinting at. He smiled secretively but just as he was about to speak again, someone called Joohyun from across the room. She turned in her seat, realising that all the conversations in the room had ceased and everyone’s attention was on the same thing. Someone had just arrived to the party, as they had promised.

“Seulgi!” Joohyun jumped out of her seat, her mood changing instantly the moment she saw her walk through the door.

“Sorry I’m late.” Seulgi apologised, trying to ignore the stares she was receiving from the people who clearly didn’t like her very much. She heard the whispering between them, questioning why she was even here but she didn’t care and searched the room for the only person that mattered.

Joohyun had to refrain herself from hugging Seulgi when she finally reached her. She couldn’t describe the relief and happiness she felt to be able to see her safe and sound. “You came.” She said, part of her in disbelief and thinking she might only be imagining this.  

“I promised I would.” Seulgi replied. “I’m sorry for being late, I got caught up with some unforeseen urgent matters and I didn’t even have time to get your present before-” Her rambling was cut short when Joohyun gently squeezed her arm, shaking her head at her.

“You being here is enough.” Joohyun said and Seulgi’s cheeks warmed, her mind suddenly going blank and she couldn’t even remember where her sentence was going anymore. She had so much she needed to say to Joohyun but after all that had happened, her mind was in a clutter and she wasn’t sure what she wanted to say anymore. 

She became aware that all eyes were on them, watching and silently judging. Joohyun noticed too and she gave Seulgi’s arm a light tug. “Come with me.” She said, pulling her towards the balcony. There was no one outside, giving them the perfect space to talk in private, away from curious eyes and questioning stares.

 “Why are we here?”

Joohyun stopped, turning around and letting go of Seulgi. Something about her didn’t feel right and Joohyun was always quick to sense even the smallest changes in her mood.

“Is everything alright?” Joohyun asked.  

Seulgi shuffled backwards unconsciously, putting distance in between them. “Yes. Why do you ask?”

“You’re hardly ever late to things and from the moment you stepped in here, you seem a bit distant.” Joohyun explained and Seulgi had a guilty look on her face. “Did something happen before you came here?” She asked carefully. Her gut feeling told her that something unpleasant may have occurred, causing Seulgi to be so tense and out of character today.

“No.” She replied a little too quickly. “There was an emergency meeting at work that made me late, it’s nothing too important.” Seulgi explained hastily.

“I’m worried about you.”

“Don’t be.”

“How can I not?”

“I’m fine, I promise. You have nothing to worry about.” She said and Joohyun wanted to ask how she expects her to believe that, but she knew it was pointless as Seulgi would only keep denying.

Rain started falling, distracting them from their discussion and Joohyun’s attention was drawn towards the cloudy sky as she walked closer to the edge of the balcony and Seulgi followed. Seulgi’s gaze alternated between the sky and Joohyun, but mostly Joohyun. She watched a smile slowly bloom across her face and if only she had a camera in her hands, she wouldn’t hesitate to capture this picture perfect moment.

“Do you still remember when we went to a baseball game together?” Joohyun asked, glancing at her to make sure she was still next to her.

Seulgi leaned her arms on the railing as they looked out into the dark night sky illuminated by specks of light from the city. “Of course I remember.” She replied. “I brought you because you said you’ve never been to one before.”

“And then it started raining halfway through the game and we didn’t have any cover.” Joohyun laughed softly at the amusing memory of how flustered Seulgi had been for not being prepared for the weather and how she hastily tried to use her own jacket to shield her from the rain. (It didn’t really work and also resulted in Seulgi getting sick the next day for being exposed to the cold.)

“Not checking the weather forecast was a mistake.” Seulgi could laugh about it now, but she remembered how much she panicked at the time because the last thing she wanted was to make her date sit in the cold pouring rain. She had been so worried that she ruined her chances with Joohyun and thought she would hate her forever but Joohyun only laughed, a little and continued watching the game. 

“That was the day I kissed you for the first time.”

Seulgi smiled briefly, “I remember.”

They listened to the comforting sound of the rain, the muffled chatter from inside the house and the thoughts inside their heads until one of them spoke again.

“And that was also the day I realised I really wanted to be with you.” Seulgi’s voice was soft, almost inaudible under the sound of rain hitting the rooftops.

“Then what about today?” Joohyun looked at her.  “What do you want today?”

“I still want to be with you.” Seulgi wanted to say. But she couldn’t. 

Joohyun was still waiting, hoping for the answer she most wanted to hear. Seulgi was still deciding how to respond when the door to the balcony opened abruptly and Sooyoung ran out to grab Joohyun so she could say goodbye to some friends who were leaving early.

“I’ll be back soon.” She promised Seulgi before she was dragged away.

The moment Joohyun was gone, Seulgi released a breath she didn’t know she had been holding. She turned back to look out into the distance, leaning over the railing slightly. The same question she had been asking herself repeating in her mind over and over again. She balled her hands into fists, feeling anger, frustration, hopelessness and every other negative feeling she had ever known.

She heard footsteps from behind her and knew it wasn’t Joohyun from the way they walked. She looked over her shoulder and saw Bogum join her in being isolated from the rest of the party. She wondered why he came out here, or rather, what his motive was. Whatever it was, Seulgi wasn’t in the mood to entertain him. 

From the corner of her eye, she saw him take something out from his jacket pocket and hold it out towards her, so she looked down at his hand and her heart briefly stopped when she saw the unmistakable small velvet box. Before she could even question, he had already answered with what made Seulgi feel as if the world had fully crashed down on her. 

“I’m planning to propose to her tonight.”

She looked up at him, feeling a whirlwind of emotions hitting her at once. Heartbroken and defeated, Seulgi only manage to utter an “oh.”

He smiled and Seulgi was jealous of the happiness he had that she wasn’t fortunate enough of having. “I have everything planned already. There are too many bad memories and associations here and she can’t be truly happy if she stays, so I want to take her back to Daegu. We’ll buy a house there, one that’s surrounded by nature because that’s what she likes the most. We’ll have a brand new life there, a peaceful and blissful life free from any troubles and worries.”

It felt as if every word was inflicting pain on her and she just kept her head lowered so that he couldn’t read her expressions while wishing she could just disappear forever so she wouldn’t have to face this heartbreak and humiliation.

“But I won’t do it.”

She paused, wondering if she heard right and looked up quickly, even more shocked than before. He smiled, already knowing she would react this way and Seulgi just looked at him with eyes that demanded for an explanation. 

“From as early as I can remember, I have always hoped that one day I could really earn Joohyun’s love and affection through my dedication to her. I really thought I could change her mind, change her heart, make her see me as more than a friend. I thought I stood a chance, you know?” He asked rhetorically and Seulgi didn’t even know what to say or do besides look at him sympathetically.

“But I realised how foolish I have been. After tonight, after seeing how she was only happy to see you and seeing the way she looked at you, I know that I don’t – no, I never stood a chance.” He laughed bitterly, turning to look at her. “What’s so good about you Seulgi? I don’t understand.”

“I don’t either.” Seulgi admitted.

“But it doesn’t matter who she ends up with as long as she’s happy and safe. That’s all I ask for, I just want to see her happy. And if you’re the one who can make her happy, then I will not stand in the way.” He moved to put the ring box back into his pocket and was startled when Seulgi grabbed his arm and stopped him. She had made up her mind.

“No.”

“What?”

“Do it.” Seulgi said in a stern, almost commanding tone.

It was Bogum’s turn to look at her with a shocked expression. “Are you insane?” He asked in disbelief.

“I’m serious.” Seulgi replied, looking him straight in the eye. “I don’t trust anyone else but you to take care of her.”

“Do you even know what you’re saying?”

“Joohyun…” Seulgi was betrayed by her own emotions when she suddenly got choked up and couldn’t continue her sentence. She took a deep breath, forcing herself to stay strong in front of him but her voice still came out weaker than she intended. “Joohyun deserves someone like you, not me.”

“We both know who she wants to be with.”

“And we both know who she should be with.” Seulgi shot back.

“Seulgi, you don’t know what you’re asking for.” Bogum argued. “You’re going to regret it.”

“I know what I’m asking for.” She replied calmly but he still doubted her. Seulgi gestured to the object in his hand, “May I?”

He nodded slowly, handing it to her and watched as she carefully opened the box to look at the engagement ring inside. The silver ring was simplistic but beautiful in design, and most importantly, it was nothing flashy or excessive.

Seulgi smiled, tears blurring her vision until she blinked them away. “It’s perfect.” She told him. “She’s going to love it.” 

“Don’t do this.” He shook his head. “This isn’t what you want. Why are you giving up so easily all of a sudden? I shouldn’t be the one she ends up with.”

“Then let me ask you this. Would you do anything to keep her safe and make her happy?”

“Yes.” He replied without hesitation.

“Even if she doesn’t reciprocate the same feelings, will you still continue to devote yourself to her and be loyal to her and never do anything to hurt her?”

“Yes. I’ve been doing that for the past few years already, I don’t plan on changing.”

Seulgi nodded, looking satisfied with his answers. “Finally, do you love her?”

Bogum stared at her, reluctant to reply because he knew what she would say afterwards. “Seulgi, you don’t have to give up.”

“I asked, do you love her?” Seulgi repeated, raising her voice at him.

He didn’t reply and only met her stare with a stubborn look. Regardless of how much he liked Joohyun, it didn’t feel right for Seulgi to just give her up to him like this. He hoped Seulgi would change her mind, come to her senses and realise she was being ridiculous right now.

“Answer me!” She demanded.

“Yes.” Bogum finally said. “Yes, I do.” He said, defeated.

“Good…That’s all I needed to know.” Seulgi’s voice was trembling slightly and she breathed out slowly, looking up at the sky so that the tears wouldn’t fall. “Then there’s nothing more to say.”

“Don’t.”

She ignored him and closed the ring box after taking one last look at the ring. She took his hand and put the box onto his palm before closing his fingers over it. Bogum shook his head but she was firm with her decision and he knew it was impossible to argue further.  

“Are you sure?” He asked, giving her a final chance to change her mind.

Seulgi nodded, smiling up at him as she brushed the tears off her face. “Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine.” She reassured, laughing so that her tears could hopefully be interpreted as tears of happiness. “From now on, only worry about yourself and Joohyun. I’m trusting you to take care of her.”

He could see how much this was hurting her but she wasn’t going to back down so he could only listen and promise to do what she wanted. “I will.” He assured.

“And promise me something.” Seulgi said, smiling through the aching in her heart that wasn’t going away.

“What is it?” Bogum was prepared to do whatever she asked of him.

“After tonight, I hope we can never see each other again. Promise me you’ll leave with her as soon as it’s possible.” She waited for him to nod, and although reluctant, it was still an agreement. “And lastly, promise you will live happily.”

… 

a/n: all of my a/ns are just apologies now for taking so long each time im sorry :((
and sorry for the angst..
hopefully the next update won't take as long! it will show what happened before the party and also what happens after seulgi and bogum's talk
thank you for reading ily