twelve.

The street was quiet and deserted while she was almost completely covered up by a cap and mask, yet she still felt like someone could catch her at any moment. She hated the paranoia that she experienced every time she had to meet her handler. She folded her arms, sinking her chin into the scarf around her neck and glanced down the street nervously to be reassured again that there was absolutely no one nearby. Finally, the black sedan pulled up in front of her and she took a quick look around at her surroundings before getting into the car.

Once safely inside the car, she ripped off the mask that was beginning to bother her with how stuffy it was getting and also unwrapped her scarf whilst complaining about how it was hotter than she imagined.

The driver chuckled, “Hello to you too, Seulgi.”

She sighed, slumping back against the car seat. “Hi.” She greeted the senior police officer. “It’s been a while, I thought you had forgotten about me already.”

“I would never abandon my undercover agents.” He said seriously, turning the engine off when they parked in an area well hidden from the public eye. “If anything, I should be the one worrying about you.” He said, eyes studying her carefully.

She gave a short laugh, “Why do I get the feeling it’s not my safety that you’re worried about?”

Jaejoong smiled sadly, leaning back in his seat. “I’ve handled many undercover agents before and I’ve seen a lot, too many actually, become too immersed in their new life that they forget their missions and real identity. Some become genuinely lost and confused that they can’t return back to their old life, while some are tempted by the lifestyle they never had before and consciously make the choice to take that path.”

“In short, you’re reminding me to remember my mission and who I am so that I don’t go awry.” Seulgi said bluntly, knowing that he didn’t want to say it in case he offended her. He nodded once, and she smiled. “I knew it.”

“Seulgi, it’s been…” He carefully considered his words. “A while.” He said. “Since this mission started, and since you last submitted a proper report back to me. I’m not accusing you of anything but has there been some complications or some difficulties in your mission?”

“I have my report here.” She reached inside her jacket to pull out a slightly crumpled folder and held it out to him. “There is also some more evidence of J Corp’s money laundering. But not enough to charge Jung since none of this is directly tied to him.”

“Is it really that hard to find even one trace of illegal activity left by Jung?” He pondered aloud, taking the file from her.

“Since you think it’s that easy, you should’ve taken on this mission yourself.” She responded irritably with a sharp edge in her tone and Jaejoong looked at her sympathetically, knowing there must be a reason behind her particularly moody attitude today.

“Is Joohyun doing okay?” He asked.

“Yeah, she’s doing great!” Seulgi replied in an exaggerated and over-the-top enthusiastic tone. “She’s preparing to get married and move back to her hometown with a nice guy. Could life get any better?” She asked sarcastically, throwing her arms in the air.

“The sooner you complete the mission, the sooner you can reunite with her and your friends.”

“At the end of the day, it’s all about the mission.” Seulgi sighed, removing her cap to run her hand through her hair in frustration. “I’m beginning to think it would make everything so much easier if I just went and shot Jung in the head myself.”

“Seulgi!”

“I’m joking!” She quickly defended herself. “Killing him would be too kind. I want him to suffer and I want him to know what it feels like to lose everything.” Her voice dropped a notch and Jaejoong frowned slightly at the sudden shift in her attitude.

“What do you mean?” He asked carefully, looking at how tightly clenched her fists were.

She blinked, as if coming out of a trance and overlooked his question as she checked her watch and gasped inwardly. “If there’s nothing more, then I must get going now. I have an important appointment.”

Jaejoong didn’t say anything else besides bid her goodbye and good luck after he drove her back and he watched her leave the car, jogging back to her own expensive car. He heaved a sigh of disappointment; instead of clearing his worries after seeing her, the worry and doubt was only building up even more. Seulgi was slowly becoming more distant and less transparent with him. She was clearly hiding things from him and he didn’t know what she was thinking anymore. He knew she had a plan, one that he was not aware of, but whatever it was, he could only hope that things turn out fine in the end.

…

The bouquet of white lilies were placed on top of the grave and Seulgi bowed deeply before straightening back up to look at the smiling photograph of Joohyun’s late father.

“Hey dad...” Seulgi paused abruptly when she realised what had slipped out of out of habit. She bowed her head shamefully. “Sorry, I should be addressing you as Mr Bae. After everything I’ve done, I know I’m not in the position to call you that anymore.” She looked up again. “Are you mad at me too? Because I understand if you are. After all, I did promise you that I would take good care of Joohyun and protect her from any harm. But I’ve let her down, by being the one who inflicted the most harm on her and I’ve let you down by not making her the happiest girl on earth like I said I would.” She confessed, fists clenched at her sides as she choked up with tears.

Although she knew that apologizing wouldn’t change a thing and most certainly wouldn’t excuse her actions. It was all she could say. “I’m sorry…I’m sorry…I’m sorry.” She repeated in a trembling whisper, burying her face into her hands and muffling the sobs that she couldn’t hold back any longer. She hadn’t felt this guilty before, but standing in front of Joohyun’s dad made her truly realise how bad she had been and the weight of her actions, words and decisions all came crashing down on her. She could almost feel the disappointment, the anger and the disapproval in the look that Joohyun’s father would give her if he was alive today. Not that she didn’t deserve it, because she definitely did.

It took her a few minutes to calm down again and to recollect her emotions. She checked the time on her watch, mentally counting how long she had left. “I have to go now. Joohyun will get here soon and I don’t want her to see me. But I promise that I will make things right again, Mr Bae. Give me some more time and everything will go back to how they used to be.” She said, biting her lip. “Except, I don’t know if I can be the one for Joohyun again. Maybe that’s my punishment for being an absolute idiot and not holding onto her.” She laughed, hoping it would ease the pain. It didn’t.

She sighed, letting a few moments pass as she reminisced coming here with Joohyun on the same day last year, and the year before, and the year before that… 7 years really passed so quickly when she was with her, while one day without Joohyun felt like a decade for Seulgi now. 

“Why are you here?” A voice from behind startled her. Seulgi turned around and saw Joohyun, as beautiful as ever, holding a bunch of the same flowers Seulgi brought as she took slow and careful steps over to her. Joohyun seemed to notice the flowers on the grave and she looked up at Seulgi again, waiting for her explanation.

“I just wanted to pay my respects.” Seulgi mumbled, keeping her eyes down because she couldn’t meet Joohyun’s intense stare. No doubt, Yeri and Seungwan would’ve told her about their exchange a few days ago and Seulgi wondered if she was going to get yelled at or slapped.

To her surprise, Joohyun didn’t say anything and simply walked over to put her flowers down beside Seulgi’s. Honestly, Seulgi expected Joohyun to throw the flowers back in her face and tell her to leave but Joohyun didn’t touch it at all as she stepped back and bowed to the grave.

“You came early.” Seulgi blurted after a while, discreetly letting her know that she had intended to leave before she arrived.

“I didn’t go to work today.” She replied shortly, not taking her eyes off the gravestone. Seulgi nodded and snuck a glance at her hands, noticing that there was no ring and she internally sighed in relief. 

“You came alone?” Seulgi had no idea why she was trying to talk to her more instead of leaving like she was supposed to.

Joohyun glanced at her briefly, a questioning look on her face. “Was I supposed to bring someone?” She asked and she didn’t need to add anything else for Seulgi to understand the underlying message of ‘I only come here with you and no one else.’

Seulgi swallowed hard, blinking and looking away before she got emotional again. “I should go now.” She said, shuffling her feet and starting to move backwards. Joohyun didnt say anything and Seulgi was really going to leave but she stopped again. “Are you going to be okay?” She couldn’t help but ask.

That made Joohyun look at her again and this time, the eye contact lasted much longer than before. Joohyun knew the reason Seulgi asked her that, and it made her heart flutter at the same time as it made her want to cry because of how Seulgi remembered and cared.

She had to look away because she couldn’t bear to see that genuine concerned and gentle expression on Seulgi’s face that contradicted everything she believed about Seulgi. “Yes.” She said firmly, training her eyes on the ground.

Seulgi looked at her for a while longer, knowing she didn’t mean what she said. She knew Joohyun hated being alone, and even more so when it was in a location like this, on a day that marked when her closest family member left her. She found it hard to move from her spot as much as she knew she should just leave and let her be. 

“Wait.” Joohyun suddenly called out, turning around quickly and was taken aback when she saw Seulgi still in the same spot and not leaving like she expected. Joohyun lowered her eyes to the ground, knowing that it was wrong of her to make this request and how much Seungwan was going to lecture her if she ever found out. That didn't stop her. 

“Can…Can you stay?”

In Seulgi’s mind, her busy schedule for today appeared and she counted the amount of things she had to do, the places she had to be, the people she had to meet. So it was clearly logical for her to open and reply with, “Yeah, of course.”

She sat down on the grass, making sure there was a reasonable gap between her and Joohyun. The last thing she wanted was to make her feel uncomfortable. Seulgi didn’t dare to speak because she didn’t know whether Joohyun wanted to talk or whether she just wanted someone’s presence beside her. It seemed to be the latter because Joohyun just kept her eyes closed and hands clasped together on her lap like she was praying or meditating.

No words were exchanged, yet it was comfortable. Joohyun’s presence alone was comforting and nice, and Seulgi had no complaints about sitting there and doing absolutely nothing at all. A buzz in her pocket made her take her phone out to see an incoming call from Krystal. She pressed decline and then saw the countless messages that Krystal had sent prior to the call, all of which were demanding where she was and that they were going to be late for the concert.

Seulgi quickly tapped out a short reply to her saying that she couldn’t make it tonight and then turned off her phone so that there would be no further disturbances.

She glanced over at Joohyun to see that she had her eyes open now and was staring at her father’s picture with tears in her eyes and Seulgi had to sit on her own hands to resist the urge to reach out for her and hug her tight like she always used to do.

“The day dad left used to be the saddest and most painful day of my life.” She spoke up for the first time, her voice so soft that Seulgi was unsure whether she heard correctly.

“Used to be?” She asked, furrowing her eyebrows. “It’s not anymore?”

“It’s not anymore.” Joohyun agreed as turned her head slightly and gave Seulgi a sad smile that ripped her heart out of her chest, stomped on it a few times and ran it over with a car. “Now it’s the day you left.”

Seulgi didn’t break eye contact but she felt her heart break even more than it was already broken. Again, she knew it wouldn’t change anything but she still said it. “I’m sorry.” She said in a quiet voice.

“Don’t apologize.” She replied almost instantly and Joohyun’s gaze lingered on her for a while before she felt the tears emerge and she looked away quickly, letting her hair fall forward to cover her face like a curtain. She couldn’t look at Seulgi’s face, not when she looked so sincere and so innocent, as if she was still the Seulgi of the past that Joohyun could never stay angry at.

Seulgi felt the tears in her own eyes when she heard Joohyun’s voice shaking as she struggled to speak through her tears. She always hated hearing Joohyun cry and hated hearing her sound so broken. Joohyun had her face buried between her arms that were propped on her knees and her voice was muffled by her sweater while she sniffled softly. But Seulgi still heard it all the same when she spoke again in a whisper.

“Because if you apologize like that… It will make me want to forgive you.”

…

“If you could just sign the bottom of the document…Great, thank you so much Mr Kim.” Seulgi stood up to shake his hand once he put the pen back down. “I look forward to working with you.”

“I could say the same, Miss Kang.” He said, releasing her hand and fixing his bowtie. “I wish you all the best with your plans.”

“Thank you, I appreciate it.” She bowed. “If you still have some time, how about we discuss the-” Seulgi’s stopped mid-sentence when the door to her office opened without warning.

“This is really important! I have to speak to her!” A loud voice sounded and Seulgi furrowed her eyebrows when an unfamiliar person rushed into her office with her secretary and a security guard chasing after her.

“What is this?” Seulgi asked, folding her arms and shooting the intruders a glare that made the secretary and the security guard cower in fear. “I’m in the middle of a very important meeting and I don’t recall saying anyone could barge into my office without permission.” Her sharp gaze turned to the new face who didn’t look scared of her at all.

“You’re Seulgi right?” She asked.

“And who are you?” She replied sharply, without the intention on really finding out. “I didn’t let you into my office.” She continued before the girl with short cropped hair could even reply. The security guard stepped forward to usher her out but the girl stood her ground, refusing to get pulled away.

“Wait! I have to talk to you about something important!” She said desperately.

“What could possibly be more important than my business deal?” Seulgi asked agitatedly, gesturing to the other side of the room where her business partner was waiting. “Get her out of my room.” She said, turning away.

The guard gave her a harder tug to get her moving and Amber immediately blurted, “It’s about Bae Joohyun!”

Seulgi froze and she turned around, walking over slowly. “Who the hell are you?” She asked in a low voice. “And how do you know her?”

“I’m…” Amber paused, her gaze flickering over to the side where the security guard stood and Seulgi understood her meaning straightaway. She saw the struggle in Seulgi’s eyes, saw the doubt and conflict of whether she should trust her or not. Finally, Seulgi dismissed the security guard and then went over to apologize and arrange another meeting with her business partner.

By the time everyone else had left the room, Amber was already bouncing on the balls of her feet impatiently and anxiously.

“Alright, spill.” Seulgi said, leaning her hip against her desk and looking at Amber expectantly.

“I’m Amber, a private investigator.” She said, taking a deep breath. “I’m also Sooju- I mean, Krystal’s friend from way back and I help her out with a lot of things like when she-”

“Get to the point.” Seulgi said impatiently.

“Right, sorry.” She cleared , scratching her neck. “So, Krystal kind of told me to dig up information about Joohyun… And I kind of did that…. And now Krystal kind of knows that Joohyun was your ex, so she’s kind of really jealous. You know what she’s like right?” She chuckled nervously but winced when Seulgi didn’t laugh and stared at her with silent anger.

“You’re still not giving me the point.”

“Okay okay!” Amber held her hands up to stop Seulgi from moving to press the intercom and call for security again. She released a shaky breath, running troubled hands through her short hair. “Look, I think she might be in trouble. Joohyun might be in trouble.” She said carefully, backing away slightly just in case Seulgi overreacted or lashed out at her.

“What?” Seulgi’s expression changed and she stood up, visibly tensed now. “What do you mean?” She raised her voice slightly.

Amber felt terrible. She was worried as heck too, since she didn’t mean for anything to get out of hand and certainly not for anyone to get hurt. “Krystal called me last night and she was overreacting and hysterical because you didn’t show up to your date and she suddenly started blaming it on Joohyun, saying all this crap about how she was stealing you from her and seducing you. I couldn’t even get a word in, she kept going off about how much she hated her and wanted her to stay away.” Amber talked rapidly and Seulgi had to really focus to understand the words she was saying.

“In the end, she said something about making sure Joohyun wouldn’t take you from her and that she would regret trying to steal you. I didn’t think much of it first, but the more I thought about her words, the more concerned I got. I tried to call her again this morning but she never picked up and she’s been offline for a long time which is unusual since she’s always on her phone. Then I tried calling Joohyun but her phone was off and I couldn’t reach her.” Amber stopped talking, gasping for breath after her long speech.

She saw the realisation finally sink in and Seulgi’s jaw tightened. She tried to keep calm although panic was beginning to settle in and she took a shaky breath. “So you suspect that…” She wished this wasn’t real.

“Krystal might be doing something reckless.” Amber mumbled, confirming her worst fear. “And Joohyun might be in danger.”

…

a/n: angstangstangstangst
uh oh whats gonna happen next?