one. 

Have you ever done something that seemed like a good idea at the time only to regret it later? As in, regret it a lot.

That was perhaps the exact feeling Kang Seulgi was experiencing.

Have you ever given up something, only to realise that absolutely nothing was worth giving that up?

Because Seulgi’s something took the form of a person, one of the most beautiful she had ever laid eyes on too. Which really made her think, was I crazy back then?

It was snowing on the day she got out; the first snow, she believes it was. The city hadn’t changed much, but she was only gone for a year, and one year wasn’t enough for much to change – or so she thought.

After a short wait outside the building that was still brightly lit and illuminating the dark night sky, Seulgi finally saw her again. The snow fall had reduced to a mere light sprinkle and the reunion would’ve truly been perfect had it been under different circumstances.

It only took Joohyun a mere second to recognise the person standing a few metres away from her, under the lamppost that emitted a warm yellow light over her. It only took Joohyun two more seconds to let a mixture of anger, disgust and hurt take over her previously neutral expression.

Seulgi had taken no more than three steps when Joohyun took one backwards, making Seulgi come to an abrupt halt. “Joohyun...” She uttered cautiously, her hand removing itself from her coat pocket and wanting to reach out for her but she stopped herself, clenching her hand into a fist instead.

“Why are you here?” Joohyun asked, eyes glaring at her with an intense spark of dislike and tone also evoking nothing but.

Not even a ‘you’re back’ or ‘I missed you’. Seulgi laughed bitterly inside her head, but who was she kidding? Joohyun would never say that to her, not after all she’s done.

Regrets. Nothing but regrets. But it was too late to feel that now.

Especially when a familiar man walked out of the same building to go up to Joohyun and ask her, with that charming smile on his face that Seulgi had always been wary of. “Ready to go home?”

Then she sees Joohyun – her Joohyun, smile at him before she circled her arm around his to pull him closer for warmth in the cold of the night and it feels like she’s being stabbed by a thousand swords.

It kills Seulgi even more when she has to ask, “So, are you two…?” But not knowing the truth would’ve killed her more, so she asked; even if was closing up and making her sound like she was struggling to breathe, which she kind of was.

“Yes.” Joohyun didn’t hesitate to reply and her grip on his arm tightened as she leaned into him more. “I’m with Bogum now.”

Seulgi regretted asking. Maybe not knowing would’ve been the better, less painful option. But by now, it was clearly established that Seulgi was downright stupid in all her decision making as they have led to nothing but pain, suffering and regrets.

So she it up and plastered the most convincing and genuine smile she could on her face. “That’s great! Congratulations.” She choked out.

“Thank you.”

She continued smiling as she watched the pair leave, watched Joohyun walk away from her in the arms of another person, watched her life come crashing down before her own eyes because of that one decision she made a year ago.

Continued smiling as hot tears pooled in her eyes, blurring her vision when she stared down at her clenched fists and wondered to herself why she thought this would be worth it.

Stupid, so stupid.

She continued regretting, but it was too late to do so now.

Much too late.

…

It was like seeing the stars in the sky but under the glass casing below her fingertips as Seulgi swept her gaze across the rows and rows of bright, twinkling diamonds, trying to find one that could catch her eye.

She rubbed the back of her neck, this was harder than she thought. There were too many choices, and many looked too similar. She was leaning down until her nose was almost touching the glass in an attempt to observe the precious items closer when a shop attendant noticed her and startled her with a cheery ‘good evening Miss! How can I help you?’.

Straightening up quickly, she flashed an awkward smile hoping the lady didn’t mind that she just breathed on their spotless glass.

“Hey, I-uh…I was just looking...at this.” She stammered, her hand waving around pointlessly and she felt like she had gotten caught committing a serious offence.

“What sort of ring are you looking for?” The lady asked.

“An... engagement ring.” She was genuinely surprised that the lady heard her when she had merely mumbled it like it was an embarrassing confession. It wasn’t that Seulgi found it embarrassing, no, it was the opposite; she was excited and she was very proud that she had finally decided to take this step. But admitting it out loud to another person made it feel real and not just a dream, and the thought of it would send butterflies into her stomach and turn her brain into mush.

“Do you have any criteria for choosing a ring?” The shop attendant didn’t even bat an eyelash at the blushing girl in front of her who was still finding it surreal that she was really doing this. “Any ideas what your partner wants?”

“Nothing flashy or too expensive.” Seulgi finally found the words and lucidity to respond. “Something humble and simple, yet detailed and intricate would be perfect.” She had been saving up for a while now and was quite confident that her budget would allow for a wider selection.

While the shop attendant took out a catalogue to find rings that suited her criteria, Seulgi’s attention was caught on something else.

Across the store, stood a man in a suit who appeared to be looking at a collection of necklaces but his gaze would constantly flicker over to look at Seulgi as if he was observing her. At first, Seulgi didn’t think much of it, she was used to getting lingering stares by strangers all the time. But something about this man made her more alert than usual; perhaps it was the mysterious aura he carried with him. Or perhaps it was the way he looked at her; he didn’t look at her like he had bad intentions. He really looked like he was observing her, as if he was very intrigued by her and not because of her looks.

The store assistant’s blabbering about carats went in one ear and out the other as Seulgi caught the man staring once again and she turned back around hastily, her mind coming up with wild imaginations. She must be overthinking it, right?

“Miss Kang.”

Seulgi almost jumped in the air when the deep voice behind her startled her, she whipped around to see that same man standing right beside her. The voice in her mind screamed 'run!' But she held her ground and stared at him with wide eyes instead.

“D-Do I know you?” Her voice was trembling more than she wanted. She hoped she didn’t sound too weak or vulnerable because Seulgi was more than willing to throw a few punches if it became necessary.

“It would be a problem if you did.” He replied with a small smile before outstretching his hand. “My name is Jaejoong.”

She shook his hand cautiously and she was still wondering what on earth this man wanted from her, and how he knew her name.

“We’ve been observing you for a while now.”

We? Seulgi thought to herself.

“I have an offer to make to you. A job offer.”

…

The soup was starting to boil again when the front door to the small studio-styled apartment opened and closed, signalling the arrival of a person.

A short sigh left Seulgi who was visibly deflated after the trip home that she spent contemplating over the offer given to her, only to be unable to reach a conclusion. She placed her keys on top of the shelf as she kicked her shoes off.

“You said you would be home by six. It’s six-fifteen now Kang Seulgi.” The shorter girl crossed her arms, one hand still holding onto a wooden spoon.

“Sorry, I got caught up with some matters.” Seulgi said, bowing her head in shame when Joohyun called her out on her lateness.

Joohyun’s eyebrows creased at the unusual behaviour being shown. She was only teasing her, and normally Seulgi would’ve picked that up and responded just as playfully, or she would’ve thrown herself at her and asked cutely for forgiveness until Joohyun caved in as she always did.

She left the spoon on the dining table as she walked around to get to her melancholic-looking girlfriend who hadn’t moved from her spot in front of the door. “Hey.” Placing her palm on one of her cheeks, she tilted her head up so that their eyes could meet and the concern was evident in Joohyun’s gaze. “Baby, what’s wrong?” She asked in a gentle voice.

Seulgi felt herself threatening to crumble and fall apart. Oh, how she just wanted to tell the older girl everything that was on her mind. It physically pained her to have to keep things from her other half. 

“Is work stressing you out?” Joohyun tried after there was no response.

Seulgi shook her head mutely, opting to lean forward and place her forehead against Joohyun’s instead as she closed her eyes. “No, it’s nothing. I’m fine.” She whispered, although both of them knew that was a lie. “Sorry for being late.”

“I’m not mad.” Joohyun shook her head, giving her a reassuring smile. She decided not to push any further, knowing that Seulgi would tell her in her own time. “You must be tired after a long day. Go and take a shower first, dinner will be ready soon.”

Seulgi sighed again, only this time it was a contented sigh. “You are so perfect, you know that?” She reached up to cup her face. “You’re the best thing that has happened to me.” Joohyun blushed at the sincerity in her tone and even more when Seulgi leaned in to press her lips on hers. She pulled away to let her affection-filled eyes wander across Joohyun’s ethereal face, and the words tumbled out of . “How can I possibly give you up?”

Joohyun’s eyebrow quirked up at the strange statement and she chuckled. “What are you talking about?” She tucked some strands of hair behind the taller girl’s ear. “The stress and tiredness must be making you say weird things.” She teased.

“Yeah, that must be it.” Seulgi’s voice was distant as her thoughts drifted. A light squeeze on her rear brought her back and she looked at Joohyun who wore a playful smile; it naturally brought a smile to her own face. That was the effect she had on her, and Seulgi was more than thankful for it.

As her girlfriend gave her one last peck before skipping back into the kitchen to check on the soup, Seulgi stared at her from the back, finding it one of the most beautiful sights in the world and smiled again to herself.

There’s no way I can give you up.

I wouldn’t give you up for the world.

...

a/n: first chapter! hopefully this was a decent first impression?
as you can probably tell, there are many unclarified things, but those will all slowly be revealed as the story progresses!